Warning! I'm aiming for your feels! Oh and a little bit of Chuck/Castiel play. R&R are welcome!

'You really suck at this.'

Castiel took another hit from his bottle, letting the warm liquid that once was good beer slide down this throat. After drinking so much, it did nothing for him anymore; it was like drinking water half the time. With a bored eye, he witness Chuck take another crack at his aim, pointing his handgun back up in front of him, pointing at the home made targets in the distance. It was training day, well everyday was training but today was Castiels turn to teach those who could not handle themselves.

It was the younger crowd, aside from Chuck who needed as much help as one could get. There was a blond chick named Brittany or something of that matter that kept flinching with every back fire her gun gave. Next to her was the youngest of the group, Jared. Three years ago Castiel had found him during one of his drug trips. It was the month Dean broke off with him and told him, not in words but Castiel didn't need to hear them, he could see it clear as day. Dean blamed him and didn't want Castiel to touch him, to hug him or even clean a wound. He wanted nothing more from him then his knowledge and Castiel just bowed his head and accepted it.

At least he was useful still right?

But that night, he took whatever pill he could grab, drank every bottle that was full in his cabin, not even caring if it was still good or not. Everything became a blurr and he found himself running outside yelling at the sky, yelling at his brothers for betraying him, their father and then yelling at Dean for the same. He remembered someone grabbing him, pushing him back towards his cabin but he was hurt, so full of rage and self pity that he tore away and ran, ran as fast as his legs could carry him into the woods.

He could have kept running, ran til his feet bleed or his lungs exploded from the air he couldn't get but a tree branch came into his view and slapped him in the face, knocking him back to the ground, knocking the air from his chest. He laid there shocked and struggling, limbs twitching in the need to keep moving. His watery eyes began to move around in a daze, staring up at the leafless branches, letting him see the night sky. The heavens; once his home but not anymore. It laid so far from his reach, without his wings he could not return, he was stuck here on this planet, growing more and more human, day by passing day he was sinking into the shadow of what he use to be. At that moment, he felt hallow and alone, he said once he would gladly fall from grace if it meant his family would be safe. If it meant staying by Dean's side.

Should he still think that now? After Dean made it so clear he was no longer welcomed there? A sound of moving earth made him tilt his head back. Someone was there with him; a sad empty smile touched his face. Was it an infected? At this point, Castiel would happily welcome them, hold his arms open wide as they devour him, ripping him apart or perhaps, a thick brow rose at the idea. Maybe it was a demon, come to mock him again for losing his grace for nothing, to die a mortal death and know it was all in vain.

Perhaps this would be his lucky day, he would have to fight and get that demon back to the camp ground. Dean said they needed to find them, to bring back as many as they could to track down Lucifer, and if Castiel brought one back. Perhaps Dean would look at him for once with pride and smile at him and tell him there was a reason he kept Castiel around. A snap of a twig and Castiel pushed himself to stand back onto his unsteady feet, turning to his encounter to be greeted with a small shadow. It went still when Castiel looked upon it, letting him take the moment to see who it was by the light of the moon above them and what he saw brought surprise to his eyes.

A young boy stood before him and when Castiel gasp the child stumbled back, hiding himself behind one of the larger trees. Castiel waited at his spot, letting the child stay clear of his view before braving himself to peek back out, fingers curling into the side of the bark. Leaning out a little, the child, a boy, looked back up and Castiel felt an old feeling come rushing back. Awe. The boy looked so scared but Castiel could see, see the dirt covering him from head to toe, could see the dark tangled hair that brushed along his small nose. He looked so oddly familiar, and that fact twisted his gut.

"I will not hurt you." Castiel called out lightly, reaching out his fingers beckoning to the boy, a sad smile on his face. "Trust me."

"Why?" His small voice was filled with such fear that Castiel found himself kneeling down, getting to his height before answering.

"I was an Angel once…"

When they returned to the camp, there was a bit of an up roar. The camp was just starting out; people were freaked and short tempted. Some pointed at Castiel in blame when Dean approached to see what the commotion was about. Dean took one look at the boy and his gaze snapped to Castiel with shock. Castiel knew what Dean was thinking and he just smiled a little, his hand touching the small boys shoulder, even if he clung to his linen shirt and buried his dirt covered face into his side. Castiel watched the shock fill Dean's face as the campers began to bicker, another mouth to feed and another person they needed to watch. One even suggested the child was infected and would doom them all, which caused Castiel to pull the child closer to him, his blue eyes narrowing to the person who shouted that.

"Jared is not infected." He stated firmly, daring for anyone to object. They all knew who he was, what he use to be. He might lack his power but he still could fight, better than those in the camp. He looked back to Dean and what greeted him made him frown. Dean's lips were pressed in a thin line and his eyes were red with unshed tears of anger. Before he could say something, Dean looked away and cut the air with his hand, his voice low and harsh when he gave out his command.

"He stays."

The group fell into a hush, all eyes turning to their leader as Dean turned his back to them. "Cut his hair, it'll get in the way. Rosanna," That made Castiel lower his head, watching from under his eye lashes as a tall brunette stepped out from the group, Dean's flavor of the week. "You take the boy and get him settled."

Castiel let Jared go but the boy gripped him tightly and spoke out, ' I want to stay with him.' That caught everyone including Castiel off guard. Dean looked over his shoulder, a brow raised. "Why?"

Jared looked away to glance up to Castiel, his eyes huge in wonder and trust that Castiel almost felt the pride he once had begin to fill him again. "Cause he was an angel..." Castiel lips gave a little twitch, his hands wanting to snatch the boy up and hug him, to hold onto this moment for as long as possible yet fate was cruel. Dean threw that bucket of cold cold reality onto his nerves causing Castiel to slip back into his pit of depression and emptiness with two little words.

"Not anymore."

Jared was taken under small protest on his part but it was useless to fight Dean. Everyone trusted him as much as they feared him. Everyone but Castiel. The women in charge of Jared was a top fighter, she didn't like the idea of being a babysitter and seemed to prove that by forgetting where she placed the child half the time. The campers never really worried about him either since they all began to notice Jared would tag along everywhere Castiel went, following after him, learning how to fight, how to hold weapons and just simply staying with him. Castiel didn't pay him much attention, to lost in his own world to care but at nights, when he would lay awake, staring at his door, wishing for Dean to walk in, to make use of him and give him some kind of attention he craved, Jared would appear instead. Tip toeing into his room and crawling into his bed to lie beside him to sleep.

Castiel never asked why and never told him to stop. Inside, selfishly Castiel let it happen, let Jared get closer and closer to make himself feel better, to remind himself that he was seen, he was alive and he was there and even thou everyone ignored him, knowing about his fall and how Dean placed him the highest to blame for the failure to protect his brother. Jared was happy with him and right now, that was all that mattered.

That was years ago and before his eyes; Jared was growing into a young man. He was getting taller and was starting to fill out, his hair was buzzed short but it only let his feature show that much more. Taking aim, Jared took a shot and struck the bullet between the targets chest, letting out a loud 'woot!' and fist pump in the air. The girl rolled her eyes and Chuck gave a small chuckle when Jared turned towards Castiel, his face broken into a wide grin. "You see that Cas?" He laughed, "I got him in one shot!"

"I saw." Castiel gave a little smile, rising his glass in a salute, "Maybe next time you can actually hit the main target. Their head, the chest is going to slow them down but the head is going to stop them in their tracks."

Jared gave a sigh, holding his hand gun back out, his eyes focusing back on his target. "Couldn't let me have this one could you Cas?" He meant it to be harsh but Castiel could hear the teasing tone laced in those words. "Give you an inch, you'll be taking the mile." Jared snorted at him before firing off another shot, the bullet snapping at the targets shoulder.

After a few more rounds, Castiel called a dismissal for everyone except for Chuck.

"What? Why?" He demanded as Jared and Brittany began to pack their stuff up. Castiel tossed his empty bottle to the side, letting out a blech before answering. "You are, by far, the worse shooter in this camp."

"Thanks Cas.."

"Your welcome, you need as much help as you can get."

"But Dean never takes me out on the missions; I'm supposed to keep everything at the camp on track! Supplies and data man!"

"What if the infected got in while Dean is away hm? You want to explain to him when he comes back that the whole camp site is dead because you didn't want to learn how to shot correctly? Cause by all means, go ahead. I'd actually want to see what Dean would do." Chuck's shoulder slumped in defeat before he began to grumble, turning back to the targets to try again. Castiel nodded at his surrender before glancing back to Jared, watching him walk off back into the camp. The day was coming soon that he would be taken to do a mission… A sinking feeling hit his gut, Jared was still too young, they could hold off a little longer before pulling him into the ranks. Maybe if Dean visited him tonight, he could ask him not to take Jared on a mission at all and let him stay to protect the camp.

Maybe…

"You're getting better but you are still to tense."

Chuck bowed his head in disappointment as he entered Castiel cabin, following shortly by Castiel himself. Sitting himself down, Chuck rolled his fingers through his thick hair as Castiel began to dig into one of his bags, pulling out a wooden box. "I can't 'help' but be tense. You see what's going on out there? I know what's going on, I dreamed this! I wrote ALL of this, it's not going to end well!"

Castiel just nodded to his words, slipping the lid open to let his eyes settle on the objects inside with a smile. "That may be." Taking out one of his small white beauties, he held it up and out towards his guest. "But you still need to loosen up."

Chuck gave the joint in his hand a look before shaking his head, holding his hands up in a block. "Cas, you know I don't do that stuff. I'll take a drink instead." Castiel lowered his arm a little before reaching for his lighter in his pocket, making his way over to Chuck. "You should try it." Placing the joint between his chapped lips, he lit it as Chuck pushed himself to stand, "N-no thanks, you know what? I better get going, I have to count the sup-" he let out a yelp when Castiel shoved at his shoulders, sending him falling onto his bed. Taking a short hit, Castiel lowered himself onto Chuck, crawling his way up while his friend froze.

Chuck started to stutter, his words not making any sense and Castiel couldn't help but smile a little. It was almost adorable, like a puppy trying to squeeze his way out the front door before it shut. His knees settled themselves besides Chucks hips, his hands planting themselves on either side of his head, keeping him trap and locked in place. "Chuck." Castiel began, his lung burning a little at the smoke he held. "Open your mouth.. and breath in."

"Dude! You know I don't swing that way!"

Castiel rolled his eyes a little before his right hand snatched Chucks jaw, his thumb brushing at his bottom lip. "I'm not going to advance sexual intercourse with you."

Chuck was trembling a little under him, his hands pressing nervously into the sheets, trying to keep himself from touching the man above him. "Really? Cause it kind of looks like you are." Once again Castiel let out a sigh, letting the smoke he was holding swirl out, disappearing into the air above their heads. "I'm simply helping you loosen up, if you follow my directions, then you can leave."

"…. You wont try anything funny?"

"Not if you don't want me to."

"Yeah, that's a no… fine what do I have to do?"

Castiel smiled down at him lazily and Chuck found himself gulping, his eyes trying not to stare at those blue orbs that were starting to grow dark, that bed head of black hair sticking up on ends. It was nice and that scared him even more. "Like I said." Castiel whispered, lifting his hand that held the lit joint. "Open your mouth… and breath in."

Watching Chuck wet his lips a little, he finally nodded before letting his lips part. Castiel took another slow deep hit before lowering himself again. He chuckled to himself when Chuck stiffen, a soft whimper leaving his throat and Castiel simply hovered above, chest to chest, stomach to stomach. Their lips were a mere breath away from one another when Castiel parted his and breathed out, letting the thick smoke swirl out and enter Chuck's own, letting it sink deep into his throat. Chuck blinked, coughing a little when Castiel pulled away, the burning sweet tang on his tongue making his eyes wide. Castiel tilted his head a little; watching his reaction, amused as Chuck let his eyes close and his air slip out, letting a small trail of smoke leave him.

"Another?"

Chuck gripped the sheets a little before nodding his head, not trusting his voice and Castiel was happy to help. When he bent back down, Castiel was startled a little when Chucks hands found their way to his side, shaking fingers touching his linen shirt, curling into the fabric before trailing up, sliding his palms across his back. Chuck took another deep breath of Castiel smoke, sucking in deeper, holding on a little bit longer, and letting the drug slowly buzz its way through his veins and nerves. Castiel lifted his head up a little, watching the way Chucks eyes glaze over, fingers pulling at Castiel to bring them closer.

"What are you doing Chuck?"

"I-I…Don't know.."

Castiel couldn't help his chuckle, feeling Chuck heart race against his own. Chuck closed his eyes and tilted his head back sighing, his voice whispering out softly, "You're warm…" And there it was. Chuck was floating on cloud nine and his body was starting to take over. At this point, Castiel began to remove himself, taking a hit as his body rose to his knees but Chuck followed, sitting up, his chin resting against Castiel chest, hands gripping his hips lightly. "Wait." He whispered out, his back arching, his body pushing up to reach his lips. "More."

The spark of arousal was starting to fill Castiel belly and he couldn't stop himself. Chuck looked so eager, so willing and in need of Castiel and Castiel... Well he wanted the feeling back, the heat, the sweat, the raw burning pain of pleasure that he missed. Perhaps Chuck could give that to him, give him a night of eager sloppy sex that would leave them both breathless and sore but so filled, so satisfied that the idea of the world ending would be nothing but a mere thought.

Reaching out, he placed the joint aside, his free hand cupping Chuck's cheek, brushing at the hair that covered his cheek. Lowering himself to sit in his lap, Castiel covered his lips, breathing the smoke into his mouth, into his lungs and Chuck only groan, his arms wrapping around his back, his lips taking his, sucking him in and leaving Castiel to groan. A soft touch of his tongue to Chuck's upper lip and the man was all his. The kiss grew deep and slow, so gentle that Castiel wanted nothing more than to take his time. He wanted this to last, this feeling to wash over him until he drowned.

Their tongues brushed along one another in a gentle war, Chuck trying to seek his mouth and Castiel playing hard to get until Chuck whimpered so prettily that he gave, letting his tongue touch the roof of Castiels mouth shyly, growing bolder and bolder by the second. Soon the innocence's Castiel was basking in was started to turn heavy and dirty and he pulsed with need for it. Pulling away, he ripped his shirt off, letting the cold air touch his heated flesh and shiver when Chuck's fingers brushed along his chest; touching the thin white scars that bared the banishing symbol he craved into himself so long ago.

No, he didn't want to think about that. Sliding himself back along Chuck's legs, his hands attacked his pants, ripping the button away, pulling the zipper down to let the scent of male arousal hit in his nose and make his mouth water. Chuck was moving, unsure of what to do but helpless to make it stop. He wanted more, Castiel could tell and he was all to happy to push him further. "I bet you taste good." Castiel purred, his fingers reaching in, brushing along the hardening length to make Chuck jump. "Will you let me?" He asked, bowing his head down, letting his breath brush along the damp fabric of Chuck's boxers, letting the air tickle the head of his cock that pressed to tight and nicely against the edge to reach for him, to let him lick up the precome that seemed to ooz in want. "Will you?"

"Yes." Chuck gasped, his hips thrusting up on their own, trying to seek the wet heat of Castiel mouth and the fallen angel would not disappoint. Hooking his fingers into Chuck's boxers, he pulled them down enough to let his length come out, lining up to his belly button nicely. It was a nice size, decent. Pulsing hard and red for him, twitching in want for Castiels tongue. "Beautiful." He whispered and bent forward to take the head into his mouth, to finally see if he tasted as sweet as he smelled.

"What's going on here?"

The harsh question was like a whip cracking into their backs. Both bodies went still, Castiels fingers giving Chucks hips a squeeze when he felt the man began to shake. Slowly, Castiel looked over his shoulder and finally noticed the elephant in the room. Standing by his door way, Dean stood his body ridged and tight, hands curled into fists at his side. Chuck tried to pull away, his hands trying to cover himself but Castiel kept his grip, keeping him pinned.

"I thought it be obvious."

Keeping his eyes with Dean, Castiel raised his right hand to press into Chuck's chest, pushing him to sit back down fully. "I'm about to start an oral intercourse with Chuck here, if you would come back once we have finished, you shall have my undivi-"

"Chuck. Get out. NOW."

He didn't need to be told twice. Ripping away from Castiel hands and bed, he tucked himself back into his pant and stumbled away, stuttering his apologies as he rushed past Dean and out the doorway, leaving them both alone.

Castiel looked away then, his fingers brushing along the warm sheet Chuck had sat on. "Spoilsport." He muttered but a blow to his face knocked him to his side, white specks appearing around him before the pain grew along his cheek. Dean had once again, moved without Castiel hearing and struck him across the face. His hand was quick to grab Castiel collar and lift him back up and Castiel just let him, going limp under his grip. Dean had his free arm raised back, ready to strike again and Castiel just looked at him. Why stop him? Dean studied his face and Castiel assumed he didn't like what looked back since he scoffed and pushed him away onto the bedding.

"We have a meeting in ten. Be there." And with disgust in his narrowed eyes, Dean left, leaving behind a sad image.

Castiel the once proud solider of heaven, curled in on himself with arms hugging his chest to seek the warmth of his grace that was no longer there.