An Immodest Proposal Chapter 2 - The Response, a pride and prejudice fanfic

CHAPTER 2 - THE RESPONSE

Darcy strode into the sitting room of the gentlemen's guest quarters at Rosings Park, went directly to the sideboard to pour himself a stiff drink and threw it down. He then proceeded to pour himself another.

"Trouble, cousin?" inquired Colonel Fitzwilliam, looking up from the billiard table where he had his shot nicely lined up.

Darcy only shook his head, downing the second drink as if it was nothing more than a tumbler of punch, his eyes closed.

Colonel Fitzwilliam's eyebrows rose as his cousin poured a third helping. He put up his billiards cue and took the bottle of whiskey from Darcy.

"Do you wish to talk about it?" he inquired.

"No."

Colonel Fitzwilliam, who knew his cousin well, merely sat himself down on the lounger and waited, though he kept the whiskey by his side. After a few minutes, Darcy walked over to the billiards table and leant against it, still holding his half-empty third glass.

"I asked her."

"And she said ... ?"

"She said no to my offer."

Colonel Fitzwilliam nodded in sympathy but continued to scrutinize his cousin curiously. He exhibited none of the dejection of a man refused. Instead, he appeared agitated, disturbed and excited.

"And ...?" he prompted.

A wry smile lifted the corner of Darcy's mouth. "She offered to be my mistress instead,"

Colonel Fitzwilliam's eyebrows leapt upward, but he only chuckled. "Original."

"What should I do?"

"You are asking for my advice? Singular."

"Well," Darcy spluttered as the colour rose in his face. "You have more experience in such matters than I."

"True. In that case, accept her offer."

Darcy was silent for a moment. Then he said, "Just like that?"

"Assuming you can afford it. How much does she ask?"

Darcy told him. Colonel Fitzwilliam whistled. "Miss Bennet does not sell herself cheaply."

"I would have made her Mistress of Pemberley."

"True. You should never have told her that. Now she knows you are the weaker party in the negotiations."

"I was not attempting to negotiate!"

"It is too late to take it back," Fitzwilliam mused as if Darcy had not spoken. "Yes ... you will have to pay her price. I know you cannot afford such a sum every year, but think of it as a lifetime opportunity! Six months of bliss and a lifetime of memories and then you can marry an heiress and settle down."

Darcy took a swallow of whiskey. "What if I want more than six months?"

His cousin shrugged. "Then you continue it. It is only the first year that is truly dear."

Truthfully, he doubted Darcy would wish to continue it. He had never not wanted to move on after six months. Usually he was happy to move on after two months. But then a man's first mistress always occupied a special place in his heart.

"That is the problem. I do not know if she would wish to. Else why would she not accept my offer?"

Hm." Colonel Fitzwilliam tapped his teeth. "That is a good point. Why did she not accept your offer?"

"I was hoping you could tell me. Is there any reason you know of that she would dislike me?"

"Not at all. I did just as you asked me. I told her all about your good qualities, how you take prodigious care of the ones you love."

Darcy drained his glass and shook his head in frustration. Colonel Fitzwilliam rose, poured himself a glass and re-filled Darcy's.

"Women!" he exclaimed and drank.

"Women," echoed Darcy gloomily.

"Look here," said Colonel Fitzwilliam. "You cannot accept this. A respectable gentleman of good fortune and noble connexions offers honourable marriage to the daughter of a tradesman, only to have her throw it in his face? It is outrageous is what it is!"

"You are right. I will tell her that she is beneath me and I want nothing to do with her." At these words, Darcy felt a pain in his chest as if his heart was being rent in two. But what choice did he have? She did not love him.

"No, you must not do that! You must accept!"

"Accept? But you just said - "

"I said you cannot stand for it! You must get your revenge. On behalf of all of our sex!"

Darcy scowled. "And how am I to do that?"

"You must make her fall in love with you, of course. Shower her with affection and presents. Kill her with consideration. Woo her as if she was a sole heiress with a sick father. At the end of six months she will be so besotted with you, she will not be able to keep her hands off you!"

"Do you think so?" Darcy asked with a little smile. He imagined Elizabeth Bennet besotted with him. He could not imagine her hanging all over him as other women did. More likely she would be even more teasing than ever, the little minx. He had to admit it was an appealing prospect.

"I know so! I have seen it happen dozens of times. Then at the end of six months -"

"Yes?" asked Darcy, trying to hide his eagerness.

"You cast her out! Throw her into the street!"

"What?"

"Yes," said Colonel Fitzwilliam with satisfaction. "That is how it is done. So now you must go to Town tomorrow and get the document drafted. I will give you a letter of introduction to my own solicitor, he is excellent in these matters - not like yours, who knows only about leases and indentures and deeds and trusts and other matters of no consequence."

"But - " Darcy said.

"No buts! She has you all tied up in knots, does she not?"

"Yes." Yes, she certainly had.

"You do not want her waltzing out of your life now as if was nothing, do you?"

"No." No, he certainly did not.

"You would like to see her in love with you, would you not?"

"Yes." Yes, he certainly would.

"Well then, your choice is clear!"

Colonel Fitzwilliam beamed at Darcy and poured himself a second glass and Darcy his fifth. He lifted his glass and looked at Darcy expectantly. For a moment, Darcy only looked thoughtful. At his cousin's pointed look at his glass, however, he slowly raised it and they drank to it.

Elizabeth did not see Darcy the next day, nor the next, nor any time that week. Not that she was surprised. He had been so surprised at her immodest proposal. The look on his face! It had been everything she could do to keep from laughing.

Rambling in Rosings Park by herself the next week, she speculated that he had probably fled the vicinity to escape her pollution and she would never see him again. Which was just as effective a method as any other to rid oneself of an unwanted suitor! Perhaps she should write a treatise advising other young ladies of this fact and publish it anonymously.

Elizabeth was so absorbed in these amusing thoughts as she jogged down the lane that she almost ran into Mr. Darcy when he stepped out from behind a tree.

"Oh!"

"Miss Bennet," he bowed. "I have been walking in the grove some time in the hope of meeting you. Will you do me the honour of reading these documents?"

She took the package he was holding out and looked at him curiously.

"It concerns your offer," he said stiffly. "If you would be so good to read it now, I will walk around the grove and return for your answer." He then suited his words to his purpose.

Elizabeth sat down on a conveniently placed rock and broke open the seal. The packet contained a formal offer, apparently drawn up by an attorney, setting out the terms that they had discussed the previous week. The only material difference was that he offered her three thousand pounds to enter into a relationship of companionship for the first six months, followed by the requested one thousand pounds per annum and all of her reasonable expenses paid. It was a clear gain to her of five hundred pounds. And, he had made a detailed "provision" for dealing with potential children: Their care would be relinquished to him and he would undertake to ensure that each was educated and fitted up to a respectable profession. He would also provide her with ongoing assistance through the period of her confinement.

"This is very generous of you, Mr. Darcy," she commented when he returned. She could not hide that she was surprised. She had expected that, conceited as he was, he would attempt to low-ball her and disclaim any responsibility once he was done with her, not volunteer to take on the care of potential children.

"Do we have a deal, then?" His voice was coolly indifferent as he leant against a tree, the brim of his hat shading his eyes so she could not read them.

She gave him a sunny smile. "We do indeed! Although I will need to have my own attorney review the documents to ensure there is nothing I have missed. But I do not foresee an issue. I shall be able to do it when I pass through London and leave the packet for you to pick up in Town."

She rose from the rock she was sitting on and he stepped away from the tree towards her, barring her way.

"Yes, Mr. Darcy?" she inquired in surprise.

"I believe it is customary in such arrangements to seal the bargain with a kiss."

"Oh!" She stepped back. "Well, I ... I did not realize ..."

She had never kissed a man before. Not that she foresaw any difficulty with the act, as it seemed straightforward enough and she was not an ignorant child. But she had not expected to do it today. She was not prepared for such a thing!

She drew herself up with dignity. "I have not yet finalized the arrangement as I still wish to have my solicitor review it, as I said. But be assured that I shall meet all of my obligations when the time comes."

Darcy's eyebrow twitched and the corner of his mouth lifted in a small smile. He inclined his head in acquiescence. "Of course, Miss Bennet. I will look forward to it."

He stepped out of her way and gestured for her to proceed, which she did, walking ahead of him with her head high. She could hear him following her at a leisurely pace and was glad that he could not see her burning cheeks.

RANDOM HISTORICAL NOTES:

1. Mistress contracts in this time were called cohabitation agreements. They were void on the grounds of immorality in the sense that no court in the land would compel a woman to perform her side of the bargain and have sex in exchange for money. However, courts were sympathetic to the needs of women to have some means of financial support. As a result, where a man made a promise to pay in exchange for cohabitation and the woman performed her side of the bargain, the courts would often tie themselves in legal knots in order to enforce the promise.

2. The law of equity governed such promises to pay. A core principle of the court of equity was that it would not aid in immorality or wrongdoing:"He who comes into equity must come with clean hands." In the case of Knye v Moore, this meant a bond given by a married man to a woman with whom he had an affair after the affair was ended was deemed to be good. This is because while it was immoral consideration to promise sex for money, it was moral to promise money to stop having sex.

3. In Benyon v Nettlefold, a man covenanted to pay an annuity to trustees for the benefit of a lady. The annuity fell into arrears (ie he failed to make all the payment) and one of the trustees sued for the arrears. The man argued he shouldn't have to pay because the deed of promise was in exchange for an immoral cohabitation. In order to make his case, he had to get the evidence and sought a court order allowing the lady to be questioned about their illicit relationship. The Court refused to grant such an order on the grounds that he had not come with clean hands. The consequence was that as he had no evidence to challenge the deed of promise, it was deemed good and he had to make up the arrears of the annuity.

4. In a different case, Sismey v Eley, another man sought to be relieved of his covenant to pay an annuity for an immoral cohabitation. In that case, the Court granted his application on the grounds that the immoral cohabitation had never taken place and the man still had clean hands. These and other cases on mistress contracts can be found at Chitty's index to All the Reported Cases, 1885, pp 1787-1789, which is available online (if I could figure out how to hot link, I would give you the link).

5. Although the amounts sought and offered in this scenario sound high, they are actually right in line with the mistress pensions of £100 to £300 a year discussed in the case law. At the going rate of government bonds and other fixed-income funds of 3% to 5% at this time, this would require capital of between £2,000 to £10,000 to generate.