Everytime

BPOV

I still couldn't believe what just happened. Half an hour after I delivered my children, that stupid dog of my best friend came in and imprinted on my little daughter. She's a new born for heaven's sake!

As many thoughts travelled in my mind I couldn't help but looking at my miracles. Renesmee was beautiful beyond belief. She had blue eyes yet, but I could tell this was not her natural color; her eyes, as well as Edward's, would've changed as time passed by. Her messed hair were a dark color and her little chest rose and fell as she breathed, almost asleep in my arms. Then there was my Edward; my little Edward. His light brown hair covered is little, perfect head and, as I caressed it, he opened his still dark blue eyes to look at me.

My babies. I was a mother. And I was going to be the best, because I knew they deserved someone who would love them with all themselves.

I could feel my eyes get heavier and, after putting Renesmee in her crib and tuck them both, after several months of insomnia, I fell in a deep sleep...even though I was still sore from the birth.

The next morning I woke up to the nurse's knocking at my hospital room. After checking me and my babies out, they went away and let visitors in.

The first in line was Jacob.

I thought all night about the situation, and I still hadn't came up with anything. I knew Jake would never hurt my Renesmee, but the thought of losing her so soon was too painful. That's why I decided to talk to him. I didn't want to let the subject hanging.

"Can I come in?" Jake asked in a low voice, careful not to wake the twins.

"Yes, come in". I whispered.

"Bells, listen, I want to apologies for yesterday. I really didn't mean what I said about that- about…Edward.." he was being more careful, saying Edward's name in a lower whisper.

"Don't worry Jacob. I know you didn't want to. Anyway … I thought about the situation and…I know it's not right not letting you near Renesmee. And then, I know you're not dangerous. I just, I don't want you to take my daughter away from me…Not so soon at least. I know one day she'll grow up and she'll have a family on her own, but try to understand me, she came in this world half an hour before, and as soon as you saw her…" he cut me off without letting me end my speech.

"Bells, I know what you're trying to say. And I don't want you to worry. I would never take Nessie away from you. I told you before, I will be everything she will need. A big brother, a best friend…everything. I'll help you Bella. We'll make it though it…together, as a family". His last words were followed by his Jacob-y smile, and they reassured me.

"Thanks , Jake. For everything" tears filled my eyes as I tried to control them.

"Oh, stop now. No tears today, or ever again, you have to do it for Edward and Nessie". Oh my gosh, again with that nickname.

"Oh Gosh, Jake. Her name is Renesmee. Like Renee and Esme mixed together". I don't know why it bothered me so much. It just..did. The name I choose for my daughter was unique, just like her.

"Oh, com' on Bella, it's just a nickname…ok ok, we'll talk about this later". And in between smiles and hugs our day passed by.

That was almost two years ago. I got used to Jake calling my daughter Nessie, I just didn't use it as often as him. Right now I'm outside Charlie's front porch with my twins and Jake. It's one of these rare sunny days, so I decided to go outside with the kids. I don't know exactly why, since Charlie's garden isn't that big, nor It's well kept…I just felt like doing so. I guess watching my kids having fun was a valid enough reason.

There were days where all I would do was lock myself up in my room and cry my eyes out. I locked myself because I didn't want my children to see me like that. Fortunately during these moments I could call Jake and he'd take them at First Beach. I promised myself I would've been a strong mother; but the truth was that…sometimes I was weak.

During these days, I couldn't get his face out of my mind. Thinking of him made me weak, and it still does. I thought I had post-partum depression, but then again I was more than happy to be near my children, so it wasn't the case. I was just crushed; that's why I cried myself to sleep, every single night since that awful 13rd September.

But watching their chocolate brown eyes light up when the rare rays of sun hit them, makes me feel better. Both Edward and Renesmee have my eyes. Their hair are a mix between light brown and dirty blonde; and they were curly like my father Charlie's.

As they ran, in the cool Mid-September air, Renesmee's curls bounced while Edward's, which were shorter than hers of course, fell upon his eyes. I hadn't celebrated my birthday since my 18th birthday party. Jake knew about this and neither him or my dad forced me to do it. They would just say "Happy Birthday, Bella". Stop. And I loved them for this.

"Edward, Renesmee, slow down or you're going to fall!" I told them in a loud voice. If they're anything like me, then they'll fall many times in their lives.

"Oh, com' on Bells, the kids aren't klutz like you!" Charlie said. It's like he thought the same thing I was thinking…like he…read my mind. But he couldn't…and he wasn't the first that couldn't…at least not with me!

"I know, but they're just one and a half, they don't walk properly, figures run!…I'm just-" Jake cut me off, like always.

"yes, we know…you're just concerned. Bella, will you do me a favor and stop worrying once in your life?" my best friend…what can I say...he knows me well.

"Ok, I'll try." I said smiling as I watched my kids running like crazy. I couldn't help but laugh when my Edward fell on his little diaper-covered ass.

"Oh, Edward!...Come here, let's change you. Jake, can you take Renesmee inside, please?" I said walking toward Edward, who was near the sidewalk after he fell.

As I got near him, I felt something move in the forest near Charlie's garden. This is strange, because usually no animals get that near people's houses; but that was enough to scare me till death. I couldn't let anything happen to my children, they're my life now.

"Jacob" I shouted at my best friend "take Renesmee inside, please". Jake came near me with Renesmee in his arms as I took Edward in mine.

"Bella, what's u-" he suddenly stopped death in his track. "Bella, go inside". I could feel it in his voice…he went in modality Alpha. By now I was frightened.

"Jake, what do you think is that over there?" I whispered.

"I don't k-…I'm not sure. Just, go inside with the kids". I did as he told me and I went inside with Edward while Renesmee walked with her hand in mine.

I got in the bathroom, I changed Edward into his PJ and I put him in his crib and then I did the same with Renesmee. I carried them in my bedroom, where their cribs were. Since I don't have an apartment on my own, I arranged as best as I could, putting my bed on the very corner of the wall it was against before and moving my desk into the corner where there are mine and Charlie's rooms; so now they're sleeping with me.

I gently caressed Edward's head and Renesmee's check at the same time. They felt so smooth under my touch. They smelled amazing. Of baby's alcohol and talcum powder. I loved their smell. They looked at me and the world stopped spinning.

"Mama okay?" asked Edward in his baby voice.

"Yes, Mama is fine". I wasn't sure of it. "Now sleep, it's been a long day". I kissed their heads and went to my CD player. I turned it on and soon enough my lullaby started playing.

My heart shattered even more, but I found out this was a fast way to get my kids asleep. I found my things one random day, as I asked Jake some help to adjust that broken wooden board in my bedroom's floor. Jake saw them and he checked them out and, before I knew it, I was on my knees, crying my soul out. I put the picture on a frame, next to my children's and they're now on my night stand; and every night I would turn my lullaby on. They actually got used to it, and they're always asking me to play it.

After I made sure they were fast asleep I went downstairs and outside the house to see where Jacob was. I could see he was in his werewolf form since his clothes were on my front porch. So I went inside and headed for my room. I lied on my bed, waiting for sleep to overcome me. It was useless. Until Jake came back to tell me what was that thing in the forest, I wouldn't succeed.

That was until I heard the door downstairs open. I knew it was Jake because my dad was out for his night-shif -he started working on nights 2 years ago to earn some more to support his grandchildren too, despite my job was enough already-.

I got on my feet instantly and I opened my bedroom's door to find Jake about to knock.

"Jake, what's going on?" he could tell by my facial expression I was worried sick.

"Bella…I…" this wasn't a good sign. Jake never hesitated aside from when the situation was unbearable.

"Jacob, please tell me. I'm dying here!" and I really was.

"Bells, It…It was a vampire". This was all it took the put me on my knees. I broke down, literally.

I leaned against the door as I slid down, my world coming crashing down.

"Bella…Bella, please, let me finish…It's not one of the Cullens…" He said this trying to make me feel better. But I don't know if it's this that brought me more down, or the fact that outside there was an unknown vampire near my children. I then noticed Jacob was still talking.

"…but I don't know if this is a good thing. I don't recognize…it" it was like he split venom though his words.

"We…we have t-to…" I couldn't speak at all. I was shocked, hurt, scared…broken.

Not only they weren't back, and I was now losing hope they would every time soon, but there was a menace that made me take the hardest of the decisions. A decision I haven't been able to take neither before, nor now after my children's birth. I don't remember exactly how, but I eventually found the straight to talk.

"Jacob, we have to move out of this town. As soon as possible". This was like hitting my stomach with a knife, over and over again.

I never wanted to move from Forks. This was my home, but I knew I had to. For my children. I couldn't live my life hoping they would eventually came back. There wasn't any coming back now. I knew he had moved on, after all he said he didn't want me anymore. But now I had to look out for my children, my now ONLY reason for being. No matter how much it hurt, I couldn't let anything happen to them; I wouldn't never forgive myself otherwise, and the pain would be unbearable.

"Bells, wait…where are you going to stay…I mean, we need a little time to plan everything, I can't let you move out without planning where you three are going to stay…think of all th-" I knew Jake was worried for our sake, but deep down I knew he was more worried about Renesmee and not being able to see her. I had thought about everything in less than 10 minutes.

"we're going to my mom's, neither in Jacksonville or back in Phoenix. I don't remember my mom telling me she sold the old house; and then It's always sunny in there, Edward and Renesmee will be safe, and no vampires will come" They wouldn't have, I was almost one hundred per cent sure about that.

A weird silence followed. Not Jake or I knew what to say, what to think…what to feel. Jacob wouldn't have been able to see Renesmee as often as now, unless he moved with us; but this way he'd have to leave his "brothers". He's a tie too. He's tied between the love he feels for his soul-mate and the love for his family…decide was inevitable, but it was also painful.

I put myself together and stood up on my feet, barely staying up, and then I turned to my room, to see my angels fast asleep in their cribs…the music still playing. I went inside and turned it off. I couldn't take more of it…not all at once at least.

"you know this is painful for me too…" even if I didn't look up at him, he knew I was talking to him " and also for them, but it's…for the best…I can't let anything happen to them. I just…can't…" with every word I spoke I could feel my shoulders shake with sobs. They loved Forks, but this was no longer the safest place.

"I understand perfectly. You're absolutely right. You…have to go away…" the thought of us going away from him hurt him..and I knew that. "you start pack everything up right now, I'll book the tickets for the next flight to Phoenix". I could hear it in his voice, his humor changed. He wasn't sad anymore, he was concerned, scared and ready to do everything in his power to make us safe. And he would have.

"Okay". I said in a whisper. Jacob and I shared a sad look and, before I even knew that, I was back in my room packing all my things, ready to go back to the city that has been my home before I moved to Forks…I was going back to Phoenix.

And the second chapter is done too! please review! and thanks for your previous reviews :)
Love xx Denise