Chapter 2: Lambda's Plight; Richard's Decision

Even if it means carrying me once more?

Lambda's words echoed in Richard's mind as the young king stared down at his best friend. Mere moments ago he had walked into this room, prepared to wake Asbel and perhaps have a good chat with him before Cheria called them down to eat. He had expected to spend the evening sharing stories with them, to laugh together as they reminisced about their adventures and dreamt of the ones to come. To spend time not worrying about all the duties and responsibilities that awaited him upon his return, and to simply enjoy the time he could spend with his closest companion. Instead he had learned that Asbel was now teetering dangerously between life and death and no one knew how or why. In fact, no one had even noticed he was ill. No one other than Lambda.

Richard struggled to make sense of all the information that was suddenly coursing through his mind, and through it all only Lambda's request repeated itself over and over again. Lambda was asking to merge with Richard once more, to allow himself to be possessed again. But why? Why would Lambda want to leave Asbel like that? The two of them had been living together for years now and had never given any kind of indication that they were struggling or having trouble. Though looking down at Asbel he supposed that didn't mean much. Asbel was horridly stubborn in that regard, always putting everyone before himself. If being with Lambda was hurting him somehow, it was well within the realm of possibility that Asbel would say nothing of it, but something about that logic didn't sit quite right with Richard.

Richard had been with Lambda the longest, even counting Asbel. He had lived with Lambda for almost seven years. Seven years alone in the castle with no one but Lambda at his side. They had hated together, looked down on the world with disdain and cursed the pettiness they watched unfold around them. It was because of that he could see just how much Lambda had changed since meeting Asbel. It had only taken their journey to Fodra for him to realize just how important Asbel had become to the being and the way Lambda constantly protected his keeper spoke for itself. There wasn't the slightest inclination of doubt in his mind that Lambda would never want to hurt Asbel, but that knowledge only drove home the seriousness of Lambda's request.

Why would Lambda suddenly feel the need to leave Asbel? And why of all people would he ask Richard? Of everyone, he was the least suited to carry Lambda, they'd proven that four years ago, and it would be long before Richard could begin to forget the nightmare they had wrought as a result. Ultimately Richard realized the question that truly mattered wasn't why Lambda wanted to leave, but rather whether Richard could even carry him again.

It had nothing to do with trusting Lambda, and Richard was surprised by the certainty with which he regarded that realization. Lambda had changed a great deal in the recent years and he'd become one of Richard's treasured friends. Even without Asbel's involvement, Richard realized he would still want to help the being. So why then, did Richard feel so uncertain?

Perhaps it was because of how Lambda had changed that Richard felt uneasy. Even if Lambda himself didn't see it, he had become light and warm, a power that protected his friends and supported those he would never admit he now cared for. For lack of any better way of putting it… he had become very much like Asbel. How much did the person who carried him affect his demeanour? Did the host he lived with shape him just as he influenced his host? If that were the case, did Richard dare consider Lambda's request?

Richard doubted he had the strength to support Lambda as Asbel had all these years. In the time Lambda had spent with Asbel, Richard found himself training, fighting to become a better person than he had been back then; to become strong enough to stand on his own and not waver in his convictions. Day and night he struggled to become a guiding force for the world he had almost ended. If he wasn't organizing hunts to eliminate the hoards of monsters his actions had let loose on the world, he was ensuring that the tenuous peace between the countries held its balance. These were things he never could have accomplished before, so in some sense he too had changed since those days, but by how much? And was he really ready to test that?

Asbel had merged with Lambda and been able to remain Asbel. He had been strong enough not to lose himself to the centuries of loneliness that Lambda carried. He had the spirit and the will to not only match Lambda's but to conquer the anger and hatred that the being once possessed. Did Richard have that kind of strength? Could he truly face Lambda head on and meet him on equal terms?

What would happen if he failed? He and Lambda had fed off each other's anger and resentment, and had only ever fuelled the worst parts of the other's psyche. Though they had both long since realized the error in that manner of thinking, Richard at the very least was more than aware that Lambda was his Achilles heel. He embodied all the feelings and the memories that Richard still struggled to deal with. Had he really become strong enough to shoulder all those feelings once again? If he wasn't, if really couldn't be certain, then he risked going back to the dark days when he had sought to end everything, and that he could not allow.

Then again, Richard wondered what the alternative was. If Lambda was attempting to leave Asbel, then things were far more serious than he imagined. Could he really afford to do nothing?

Taking a single deep breath to clear his thoughts, Richard returned to Asbel's bedside, placing his hand gently on his best friend's shoulder.

"I'm sorry for that," Richard spoke, knowing his words reached beneath the surface. As he expected, the world around him seemed to grey and time's flow slowed to all but a stop.

The apology is mine for making such a request so suddenly.

"Why are you asking to leave Asbel?" Richard asked.

If I remain, then Asbel will soon cease to exist.

"But the two of you have been living together all this time, why the sudden change?"

Until now we've been able to maintain our coexistence because the strength of his mind, and the strength of mine are evenly matched. As you can tell, Asbel is not as his strongest right now.

"True, but this can't be the first time he's been tired or run down. Maybe not to this extent but strength of that nature is constantly changing."

Do not think so little of me. Do you think I don't know my own strength?

"No, of course you do," Richard replied unable to hide the hint of a smile on his face. He should have realized as much. Lambda had been purposely matching his strength to Asbel's in order to keep the balance steady; holding back when Asbel was weak, pushing when Asbel's strength encroached on his own. It wasn't like when he and Lambda had merged, when Lambda had completely consumed him. The ancient creature no longer sought to dominate a vessel. He wanted to live alongside Asbel as much as Asbel desired the same, to the point that he fought to maintain their equilibrium.

As Asbel continues to weaken, his mind space is slowly being eaten away. Regardless of my efforts, he simply no longer has enough strength to maintain a proper balance between us. Unless something is done, Asbel's consciousness will be completely consumed.

Richard understood now; Lambda's desire to leave Asbel stemmed from his desire to protect him. Though he didn't say as much, Richard could feel the fear behind Lambda's words. He didn't want to hurt Asbel, but if he didn't do anything soon, he'd be powerless to stop it. That left but one question unanswered.

"Why me?" Richard asked.

There is no one else.

"What do you mean?"

Asbel is a fool, and a lucky one. I am not able to possess any vessel I desire and I've seen many of them fall apart, unable to withstand my presence as it corrupted and ate away at them.

"But we know that you're compatible with me," Richard concluded. "Because we've lived together before."

Yes… I didn't dare risk Cheria or the child's safety, and I couldn't possess Protos Heis even should we both desire it.

"Because she was designed to destroy you?" Richard recalled.

If I were to enter her, it would trigger her mutual destruction function and destroy us both.

"I see your dilemma," Richard mused.

I know we have not done well together in the past and that you've little reason to put yourself at such risk. I assure you that if there were a better solution than-

"No it's alright," Richard cut Lambda off. He could tell, if only by the undertones in Lambda voice that the being wasn't expecting him to accept. Lambda didn't think that Richard trusted him, and Richard wondered if the same concerns that plagued his mind ran through Lambda's as well.

"I want to do whatever I can to help you," Richard replied. "If someone like me will be suitable, I'll be your vessel until we can save Asbel."

Lambda was wrong about one thing: the one Richard didn't trust wasn't Lambda… it was himself. But if it meant saving Asbel, if it meant being the one to protect him for once… than he would do everything he possibly could.

"Besides… we both still owe him, right?"

Indeed.

The first thing that struck Richard was how different Lambda now was compared to their previous union. True some part of him recognized the changes in Lambda's demeanour and outlook, but never once had he thought that the change ran so deeply, not once had he thought it ran down into Lambda's very core.

When Lambda's energy began entering him, Richard braced himself, all too many memories of a cold and heavy burden weighed on his mind. He recalled struggling to carry Lambda through the elements and across the lands as they fought their way from Valkines to Valkines, each step adding to the weight of his existence. Yet the power that flowed into him now was nothing remotely comparable.

Where he had once been cold, carrying naught but resentment and desires for vengeance, Lambda's light felt warm, protective, like a hot summer day or a loved one's embrace. The feeling flooded him, surging through every limb before finally settling calmly in his chest. Richard closed his eyes and could feel Lambda's steady pulse, beating next to his own heart.

Once the initial surprise had subsided, the second thing Richard noted was just how powerful Lambda had become. During their days together he'd felt Lambda's power unrivalled, but the being he sheltered now dwarfed that memory with ease. Since absorbing Fodra's eleth Lambda's own strength had grown exponentially and if he'd desired it, it would be child's play for Lambda to conquer Asbel or anyone he might desire to possess. There was no doubt in Richard's mind that the two were truly co-existing.

A soft sound pulled Richard from his thoughts and the faint feeling a movement beneath his hand instantly drew the young king's attention. "Asbel!" Richard called as his friend's eyes fluttered open. The burden on his face from so simple an effort left a hole searing in the pit of Richard's stomach, and that was not the only this that left the young king with enough concern to make him ill. There was a darkness over his gaze, a blankness in his expression, as if he were looking out at the world yet not truly seeing anything. Asbel's hand reached up, trembling with the effort it required as he blankly stared about, searching for something with eyes that were hauntingly empty.

"L-Lambda…?" Asbel managed, the strain choking out all but the concern from his weakened voice.

"Don't worry Asbel," Richard took Asbel's searching hand. "We're both right here." Asbel turned his head weakly, the eyes he fought to keep open, focused in on his best friend. "We're going to find a way to save you, no matter what!" Richard insisted. Asbel looked at him and for a brief moment a small spark lit behind his gaze, his face relaxed with the relief that flooded across it. Barely nodding in acknowledgement, Asbel lost his fight and slipped back into the depths of his slumber.

"Yes…" Richard re-affirmed to himself. "We will definitely save you."