You kept reading! How exciting!
Respecting an Elder
"Angelus?"
"Yes?"
"When were you born?"
"Shouldn't you know that?"
"I forget."
"Figure it out."
"Angelus."
"Pretend you're not fucking your subject."
"But Angelus."
"Buff, do your work."
"Fine. …When were you turned?"
"…Buffy…"
"Well, I don't remember!"
"How will knowing when I was turned help you write a paper about my human life?"
"Well, I know you were 27 when you were turned, so, with some simple math, I could figure it out."
"How do you know I was 27?"
"Um…I'm taking a class on you?"
"Well, maybe I don't want you to know that I was almost thirty."
"What? Why not?"
"…Maybe it's personal."
"What the hell are you…oh…Angelus, don't be silly. You don't look a day over 20."
"I know! But know you know that I'm almost 30!"
"Angelus, you're 250!"
"48!"
"…Thank you. So…that would mean that you were born in 1752."
"…Don't look so proud. It's not very becoming."
"Don't scowl so much. You'll get wrinkles, grandpa."
"You little--"
"Ah! It was a joke! No wrinkles! Let go!"
"You know, you're gonna get wrinkles some day. You're gonna get old and gray and wrinkly and saggy--"
"No, I'm not. You said you would turn me."
"I changed my mind. I'm gonna watch you get old and fragile and laugh every time you brake a hip!"
"Liar."
"Nope! I'm gonna set up shop right next to the retirement home, and parade around with my new childe, Faith--"
"Ah, yes, cause you have the patience to stand her for eternity--"
"--And we're gonna laugh and laugh and--What are you doing? Stop that."
"Mmm, but it's so smooth."
"Buffy…"
"Like a baby's bottom."
THE END