A/N: I'm blown away by the response to this story! 95 follows, 38 favorites and 12 reviews after one single chapter! You are spoiling me, guys!
Oh, and I probably forgot to mention, but English is only my third language, so, yeah, I'm aware my stories must be peppered with small mistakes.
Wednesday morning, January 12th, 2005 – 9 weeks along
Central London, Malfoy residence
"Hermione, dear, are you sure you don't want to reconsider?"
Sipping her ginger tea, Hermione turned around to face the small assembly gathered in the vast kitchen and leaned against the worktop behind her. Her parents-in-law were sitting opposite each other at the gleaming granite kitchen island with a tray of muffins Mrs. Weasley had baked the day before between them. Their gazes were shifting between her and Draco, who was standing on her left. Ron was perched on his favorite bar stool at the other end of the kitchen and had been following with great interest the increasingly heated exchange over the past half an hour, devouring muffins like popcorn. Hermione cast him a disgruntled look. She let out an exasperated sigh and felt Draco's arm wrap tighter around her waist and pull her closer against his side to soothe her.
"I've done my part, I went to see her, and my decision is final," she answered Narcissa irritably. "I'm having this baby in a Muggle hospital, with Muggle doctors, and with enough machines around to know whenever the baby farts!"
"This Healer has an excellent reputation!" objected Lucius, stirring his coffee with his little finger in the air. "Her family has been working at St Mungo's for generations to bring Wizarding children into this world!"
"Could you at least explain what displeased you?" pleaded Narcissa.
"First of all, I'm not entrusting my pregnancy monitoring to a woman named Ciconia Softlanding."
"Why not? You entrusted your impregnation to a guy named Draco Malfoy…" chimed in Ron in a falsely discrete whisper from the other side of the kitchen.
"Second of all," pursued Hermione as though she hadn't been interrupted but squinting at him murderously, "while I agree that burning hallucinogenic mushrooms could work as laughing gas, I'd still like to warn you that if anyone tries to bring me to that crystal-covered escapee from the Dark Ages, I'm going to squeeze my legs shut and keep the Malfoy heir inside until I can have an epidural!"
"Giving birth is the most natural thing in the world!" replied Lucius dismissively. "Hundreds of generations of witches have been doing it perfectly fine without any epicurial, and I see no reason why you would need…"
"This is going to get ugly…" muttered Draco under his breath.
Hermione opened her mouth angrily, but Narcissa was quicker.
"Lucius!"
He started, turning fearfully to his wife.
"No vagina, no opinion," mouthed Narcissa, pointing at him a threatening finger.
"Mom gave birth to all of us on the kitchen table with the help of a simple mediwitch and all went perfectly well!" interjected Ron again in a conversational voice.
"That table you are talking about, you burnt it, right?" asked Draco with a scowl of disgust.
Ron frowned and took another bite of muffin.
"No, it's still the one in the kitchen. You know that dark wood stain on the corner nearest the stove? It's actually where they put the placenta after my birth. Could never get rid of it."
"IT'S MY USUAL EATING SPOT!" shouted Draco, his eyes widening in horror.
"It's the lucky spot," shrugged Ron.
Draco emitted a choking sound, his cheeks turning a sickly gray. Hermione squeezed his hand in hers bracingly.
"Remind me why you are taking part in this discussion?" she said, glowering at Ron. "Don't you have to be at the Auror Office? Draco and I have an excuse to take a day off work, but I'm really not sure about the reason of your presence…"
"What do you mean?!" protested Ron, looking hurt. "I'm going to be one of the people raising that kid!"
Hermione's brows shot up.
"Since when?"
"Do you mean to tell us you are planning to still be around in seven months?" growled Draco, scandalized.
Ron pretended momentary deafness and rounded on Hermione.
"Since I'm its uncle!" he exclaimed, offended.
"Fourth cousin once removed," hissed Narcissa through gritted teeth, examining her elaborately painted fingernails.
Hermione waved at them all impatiently.
"Yes, well… Back to the topic, that Healer asked me if she could keep the umbilical cord for fertility potions!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms in the air.
"There is no obligation for you to accept," said Lucius. "But the umbilical cords of Wizarding children have great properties and are very valuable. Although I'm not sure this works as well when the child is not pure-ahhh…" Lucius' voice died miserably in his throat as he looked up and met Hermione's gaze.
"Yes?" she said sweetly. "Any comment about the blood status of your unborn grandchild?"
Her father-in-law shook his head frantically. Her eyes locked unblinkingly on Lucius, whose eyelid twitched as he tried to hold her gaze, Hermione nudged Draco.
"Draco?" she asked innocently. "What's the headline we settled on for the Prophet already?"
Lucius paled and Hermione broke eye contact. She kept watching him out of the corner of her eye as she finished her infusion. She set her cup down on the worktop and frowned, sniffing the fluttery sleeves of her blue silk blouse.
"I'm still reeking of Patchouli fumes!" she huffed with disgust. "Have you seen all the incense burning in her office? It was like being in a hookah lounge! I feel like she'd try and smoke the baby out of my vagina when the day comes! No. My opinion is no. We have an appointment with a Muggle ob-gyn this afternoon, and I think it's safe to say she is not going to try to teach me a fertility dance to perform every evening to prepare the muscles of my back!"
/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\
Wednesday afternoon
Central London, Gynecologist's office
Settled on the smooth gynecological chair with a content expression, Hermione ran her gaze around the clear examining room of the ob-gyn practitioner. Even though the white window curtains were drawn to ensure the privacy of the patients, the lamps overhead, the pastel colors and the sleek lines of the modern furniture created a bright and serene setting. She was readjusting the powder pink sheet over her naked half-bent legs when a metallic clatter disrupted the silence. Hermione looked at Draco, who was standing at the foot of the chair next to the heating tray of metallic surgical instruments, and sighed.
"Draco, would you please put this down?"
"Looks like a duck…" he commented, picking up a speculum and examining it with curiosity. "What is she going to do with it? Pin your hair up? Might want a bigger one…"
"That opens my cervix."
"Fuck!"
Hermione held back a laugh as he dropped the speculum on the tray and jumped away from it with a look of utter horror.
"You are not going to grow one by touching it," she chuckled, shaking her head.
He didn't answer and went to stand on the other side of the chair, casting sideways glances full of revulsion at the instruments.
"Barbarians…" he grumbled under his breath. "Don't you worry, okay?" he added softly, rubbing her knees gently. "Everything is going to be fine. They warmed these things so you won't catch a cold…"
"Could you please come next to me?" asked Hermione, squirming. "I know you are very well acquainted with this part of my body, but this is making me slightly uncomfortable…"
"I was talking to the baby! I believe the acoustics are much better here!"
Hermione rolled her eyes, but at that moment, the door opened and a rather severe-looking, middle-aged blond woman with a pixie cut and clad in a long white coat and a navy blue pencil skirt entered the room. She was carrying a file under her arm.
"Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy?" she said with a professional smile. "I'm Doctor Roberts."
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Doctor," answered Hermione, beaming when she didn't spot any amulets and crystals hanging from the woman's neck and clothes.
Doctor Roberts went to sit at the elegant steel desk next to the head of the gynecological chair and typed something on the computer.
"So how is this going to happen?" she inquired. "Am I supposed to announce the news to every potential father?"
Hermione and Draco exchanged a bewildered look.
"I'm talking about the two young men in the waiting room claiming they are with you," clarified Doctor Roberts, slipping her long, thin hands into a pair of surgical gloves. "They seem… extremely involved."
She lifted the powder pink sheet a little and deftly smeared some chilled gel on Hermione's stomach, before pressing the probe of the ultrasound unit against her skin.
"Oh, they are not really men…" said Hermione lightly. "Overgrown kids at best… One of them had nothing better to do today…"
"… and the other is a giant leech," finished Draco.
He went to stand next to her and slipped an arm around her shoulders while Doctor Roberts focused on the black and white screen.
"Please refrain from bringing them the next time," she said with a tight smile. "The overly-enthusiastic one is scaring our patients and the other is halfway through our stock of free lollipops."
She moved toward Hermione's legs and plunged her arms under the sheet, erasing the smile from Hermione's face. Draco deposited a small kiss on her temple.
"How is this going until now?" asked the Doctor as Hermione's features crinkled in discomfort. "Have you been experiencing much inconvenience? Morning sickness? Headaches?"
"They are actively contributing to it..." sneered Hermione, glaring at the closed door that gave to the waiting room.
"I can imagine. Are your breasts sore? Have you noticed any change in size?"
Feeling a chuckle thrum inside his chest, Hermione looked up at Draco and quirked an eyebrow.
"Why are you looking so proud?"
His face fell a little.
"Well, I put that on my vision board… I thought that was because of me!"
"Who does that?" she scoffed.
"I do! People like me, visionaries!"
Hermione closed her eyes briefly, looking exhausted. A muffled yelp from the waiting room made them all turn to the door.
"What was that?!" whispered Hermione to Draco with a sense of nasty foreboding.
Doctor Roberts stood up, covered Hermione's legs back with the sheet, took off her surgical gloves and left the room. She returned less than a minute later with an annoyed expression.
"Your overly enthusiastic friend needed some ice for his eye."
"What happened?!" exclaimed Hermione, alarmed.
"I'm sure he was only trying to be considerate, but 'How are your mucous membranes going?' is certainly not an appropriate question to ask a pregnant woman…" answered Doctor Roberts imperturbably, while Hermione covered her face with her hands, mortified. "We'll finish with a sonogram, shall we?"
She had barely settled behind her screen and pressed the probe against Hermione's belly again that the door of the examining room was thrown open and Theo and Ron barged in despite the vehement protests of the outraged and slightly winded nurse who was trying to block their way.
"What the hell!" shouted Draco, jumping in between the gynecological chair and the door to make sure Hermione was fully covered.
"Can we come in?" asked Theo, letting himself in without waiting for an answer. "It's getting dangerous for us out there…" He was holding a blue pack of ice against his left eye. "Oh, come on now, lady! I've seen both of them naked already! They have no secrets for me!" he chanted, slamming the door in the nurse's face.
"Stay away or it's going to get dangerous here too!" hissed Draco at him and Ron.
Hermione let herself go against the pillow.
"Involved you said, huh?" she hummed, staring at the ceiling with resignation.
Thump thump, thump thump, thump thump. Everybody froze, their heads turned to the source of the noise: the black and white screen of the ultrasound unit. For the first time, a genuine smile graced Doctor Roberts face as she pressed the probe against a particular spot on Hermione's stomach.
"What's that?" breathed Draco.
"Is that…" croaked out Ron.
"Oh Merlin!" squealed Theo.
Without tearing her eyes away from the pulsing image on the screen, her breathing quick and short, Hermione fumbled through the air for Draco's hand and felt three hands close around hers instead. For a long moment, the silence in the suddenly overcrowded room was only broken by the quiet yet steady thump thump, thump thump, thump thump… Hermione looked up at Draco, who seemed as much at a loss for words as she was.
"I can't wait to meet you, little one!" murmured Ron, looking mesmerized and squeezing Hermione's left knee with his free hand.
"I'm going to play with you all day long!" beamed Theo, tearing up and getting hold of her right knee.
"MY FACE IS UP HERE!" roared Hermione.
References: The second part of this chapter is loosely inspired from Friends, season 1 episode 2: 'The one with the sonogram at the end'.
"Yeah, of course I noticed your boobs getting bigger. I put that on my vision board, okay? I thought that was because of me.
Who does that?
I do! People like me, visionaries!" – Meg (Leslie Mann) and Ken (Jake Lacy), How to be single (2016)