My dearest brother,

I hope this letter reaches you safely, and doesn't go mysteriously missing only to turn up unexpectedly later. (No, I don't know how mail gets from your trashcan and onto your desk. Maybe you shouldn't throw it away! )

I know we haven't had a decent conversation lately (probably because you've been avoiding me) but I wanted to get something off my chest. My heart burns for you with the intensity of a thousand white hot suns. You're always wanting people to become one with you, and I would give anything to be one with you. Together with our undying love, we can rule the world, just you and me. Wouldn't that be lovely?

Please say we can get marriedmarriedmarried! You won't regret it!

All my love,

Natalia

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Natalia,

Please stay away. The restraining order is still in effect. (And stop sneaking into my house and moving trash onto my desk! I throw things away for a reason.)

Stay home ;_;

Ivan