Fuck, will he slow down or what?!
Hey, I am a tall woman, but even I can't keep up with this pace and not that I want to, I am not in a hurry to die.
As we walked past his men everyone was kneeling, I don't get it, why would anyone agree to shit like that, it's fucking humiliating. I for one am not going down on my knees without getting something in return.

I've been scanning his backside all the way, I gotta tell you something, it is one nice view, broad shoulders, nice waist, an ass that looks amazing in those pants… I wonder if there's any way I could die looking at it if something like a good death exists, I am sure that one would get pretty close.

Oh, finally the daylight, good thing I won't die in that stinky cell, fresh air is nice, it is healthy for you and even on your dying day, you should be concerned about your health. What if the bullet misses some crucial part of your brain and few inhales of fresh air will be all separating you from life and death.

Who am I fucking kidding, this sucks and I don't want to die, not yet, I got so much to live for, for example finding something to live for.

He is leading me to the fence where dead pricks are chained; there goes my dream of dying and not turning. So this is how it all ends for me, I will spend my afterlife chained on this fence, mindless husk waiting for someone to kill me and end my misery, slowly decaying and falling apart, for everyone to see. I've done many shameful things in my life, some make me cringe even now, but this is the new low for me. Why are all the pretty ones insane?

I've seen this people before in gray overalls, not the most stylish thing to be walking around but not the worst I've seen since world went to shit, or even before, when I used to accompany my nanny to grocery shopping, shit I saw in those stores can give walkers nightmares, if they slept. Do they sleep… hmmm… I never thought about that. How can they function without getting some sleep, I don't get it.
Fuck, Eve, concentrate… this is not the time for this.

I bump into the man before me, great! Like I need to antagonize him even more.

"We are here, sugar." He turned around, looking at me, that stupid bat propped against his shoulder. I have to thank him, though, listening to all the stupid nicknames he has given me in my short time here, really does kill my will to live. I hate them, they remind me of time before, when I was younger and man would come up to me with all those sugar names and the sweeter the name the creepier the guy. I don't understand what kind of mental assembly must be hidden inside your head to think you will get into my pants by shouting, 'hey there little kitty, come here so I can pet you' while I pass.

"Now, I want to introduce you to our new resident."
"I am not really interested in making new friends."

And again, that smile, I swear if I had teeth like that I would never close my mouth.

"And how about old friends?"
This is tiresome really, this man is pulling out everything I lacked in my life and rubbing it into my face. Friend, what is that shit, all I remember is people pretending to like me, so they can get something out of me. It was always like that, my grandfather's name gave me certain respect in some circles, but that respect came with tonnes of phony people wanting to get good with my family over my back. Good thing I saw through their bullshit in time and spent most of my childhood and later years alone, on the trees or lost in the wilds of mountains I concurred.

Don't misunderstand me, I knew many people, but none of them I called friends, they were there, for me to use them when I needed them. Especially during my rebellious years, they were a great asset to piss my grandparents off and kill a few nights and brain cells. But they didn't mean much to me, not like threes and mountains did.

Woods and mountains did not judge, they did not care who I am, what I have and what I don't have, they didn't care about the way I was brought to this world, all they demanded of me is to treat them with respect and they would be my best friends, provide for me and make sure I got home safely. Those are kind of friends you want in your life, even after the apocalypse they made sure I am ok, that I am alive and that no one who wants to do me harm finds me.

As I look at the trees outside the gates, I can almost hear them scream, wanting to get to me, wanting to break down the fence and embrace me in the safety of their shadows, if only they could move. But they can't, all they can to now if silently witness how my faith unfolds before them and how their friend dies. I hope when I turned, they will tie me up on the fence facing the city so they don't have to witness what becomes of me afterward.

"D, please bring Daryl here, we want to say, hay."
Man's voice brings me out of my thoughts.
"I don't want to say, 'hay' to anyone."
"Well sweet cheeks, I don't give a fuck what you want."
"Whatever."
"You know it's not nice to roll your eyes while talking to someone."
"Well, I apologize for my rudeness… being held captive here made me think we passed the pleasantries like that."

The dark and deep chuckle, made my blood boil, he is enjoying every fucking minute he is able to pull on my nerves.

The scarred man came dragging another prisoner behind him. Fuck I thought I got it rough. The man was beaten, dirty and had no shoes, in the same washout overhauls as the rest of the people on the fence, with a big letter A painted on the front.
He glared at me through his bangs, like I am the one who locked those chains around his hands and ankles.

"Well, hello there, Daryl. Hope you found everything to your fucking liking."
What kind of fucked up, twisted humor the man beside me had. To his liking, what the... I knew some BDSM people in my days, courtesy of my only friend Sarah.
Now she was a hand full, got arrested once while roleplaying with her boyfriend because police thought he was kidnaping her and even she would find this fucking disturbing. The prisoner looked like he just got out of the match against the undead in the mud, and lost.

Man didn't speak, just continued to glare at us. I will be honest, it made me uncomfortable, I don't know why but I stepped back, hiding behind the broad shoulders of the man who brought me here. I am not easily scared, but the amount of hate directed towards us, towards me, was just fucking disturbing. That much, it made me seek a protection of a man who held me captive here.

"Don't be scared, sweet cheeks, he doesn't bite." The man smiled, looking at me over his shoulder.
What the fuck was I thinking, showing weakness like that?

Without speaking I took a step forward, going back to my previous spot.
"Now, your fucking reaction told me more than I need to know, but let's just play it safe. Do you know this man, sugar."
"No." I am done talking or explaining shit, if he believes me fine if not fine, to hell with him and this cursed place. I want out.

"Daryl, you know this woman?" The man turned to the prisoner, pointing his finger at me.
"Yes."
"You lying.. piece of…" The man who brought me here was the only thing stopping me from ripping that idiot's heart from his fucking chest. Why the fuck is he lying, I never saw him in my life.

"Enough!" the thunderous voice petrified me.
"Someone if fucking lying to me here and we will shut this shit down, this fucking second!"
"He is lying to you!" I don't know why am I even trying it's not like he will believe the shit I say.
"Daryl, from where do you know this woman."
"Alexandria."
What the fuck, someone is playing me here.
"You are fucking fast to sell your own." The man's face darkened as he brought his baseball bat in between him and the prisoners.
"She is not one of us. She is a thief."
"You… you tried to kill me!" Oh now, this is just fucking precious of all people…
"What the fuck are you talking about."
"He.. he shot me… or at least tried to."
"Is this fucking true?"
"No."
"You are lying again!"
"No."
"This is fucking ridiculous… you see, I am not one of them. I did not lie. Can I go now?"
"No."
"Why, the hell not!?"

I don't know what I find more annoying his laughter or that stupid tilt with his body he does every time he finds something funny.

"Because I am not done with you sunshine"
"Great."

OOO

I was not sorry to say goodbye to the prisoner, whatever his name was, I just hope I don't see him again and if I do, I hope I have my gear with me, so I can end his fucking life. He saw I was in danger and still he sold me out. Bastard! Where is that "help neighbor as thyself" or was it love, fuck I can't remember. Never mind, whatever it was, he did a complete opposite. Brhhhh, I hate people.

We turned right, why are we turning right, my cell is that way. Where the fuck is he leading me. Oh, shit, I am not in the mood for the grand true, but it looks like, mister I find everything funny, is.

"This is the marketplace, you spend point you earn to get shit you need, something like money back in the day. You work to get it and spent it to survive."
"Wouldn't know anything about that, never needed to work for my money."
"So we got ourselves, little princes, here, don't worry honey there are options that don't involve you to work to get shit."
"I have a feeling there is a catch and why are you even telling me this?"
"No, catch... And I am telling you this because you will need to know it if you are to get along with people around you."
"Why would I, I never got along with anyone in my life and I am not planning to stay here if you let me live."
"Oh, I think you will change your mind soon. Now let us go to my office to discuss business."

By his office, he meant his bedroom. The last time I saw a bed that big was the last time I was in my room at my grandparents' house, little before I went to that cursed hiking trip and little before the Earth decided it had enough of humankind and went to great extent to exterminate it.

"Take a seat, we need to talk."
"I will be more comfortable standing, thanks."
"I said sit!"
And just like that, like an obeying puppy, I placed my butt on the soft cushion of one of the two armchairs placed across from sofa where he was.
"You see, you are already getting a hang of it."
"Fuck you."

I would flip him, I swear I would, but I somehow have a feeling if I did that, I would not have my middle finger for long.

"You know, that fucking tongue of yours could be put to much better use that to roll the curse words at me."
And just like that, pictures came into my head, pictures that were not in it for a long time. I don't know what he saw in my face, but by judging by his grin I think he knew just what I was thinking about.
"So, you want to put it to better use?"
Tempting, I will give him that, but I am not that far gone. Not yet.

"What, you aren't going to even buy me a dinner, where are the scented candles? Sorry man, but for what I got you will have to work much harder than that."
Keep digging that hole, Eve, keep digging it.

"I will give you much more than that, sugar. But we need to clear the air first. I am Negan and I am a leader of this people. We, we are the saviors."

The pride in his voice, wow, he really likes this place.

"Now before I explain to you the possibilities that I am offering, first I need to know a few things about you."
"What makes you think I won't just make things up as we go."
"Because I don't think you're stupid."
"Thank you for the compliment. Alight shot."

"Who are you?"
"You really don't know who I am?"
"I fucking should?"
"No…no you should not…" This is refreshing, I am almost tempted to make things up but I won't, I think half-truths will be good enough. "My name is Evelyn."
"Nice to meet you, Evelyn, that's one beautiful name."
"Thank you, classy just like me. And call me Eve, you sound like my grandma when you call me by my full name."
"I'm not going to massacre such beautiful name by shortening it."
"I saw your bat when you came to see me, yesterday, I don't think massacre is something you are unfamiliar with."
"Observant one… I like you more and more."
"Yeah, I am sure you will change your mind soon enough."

"Maybe, we'll see. I am not done asking questions yet. Tell me, Evelyn, what did steal from Alexandria?"
" A can of peas."
"You have to be fucking kidding me!"
His face became so red with laughter, for a moment there I thought he is going to pass out.
"You almost got shot trying to steal a can of peas? Fuck… that is fucking hilarious... best shit I heard in years."
I don't find it amusing the way he mocks my misfortunes.
"Fuck, you must really love peas."
"I hate them. It was just the first thing I grabbed before they saw me. And I don't see what is so fucking funny, people die for much less nowadays"
"And that is one fucking sad truth… you really fucking know how to kill the mood. You must have been a blast at parties."
"I have you know, I am a very fun person… when my ass is not at the stake."
"I bet you are."

I can't believe I am wishing him to speak; again, his look is making me uncomfortable especially when I don't have a fucking clue what he is thinking about.

"Alight, sugar, we established what you were doing in Alexandria. Now tell me, were you doing here, watching us. Did you plan to rob us?"
"You bet your sweet ass I did. I for sure was not looking to join you."
"And why the fuck would you not want to join us?"
"Wow, I don't know. Something about dead ones being tied to the fence is just screaming, mad people around."
"But it still didn't put you off from trying to relieve us from a part of our hard-earned supplies."
"No, it didn't. I was not planning to go and say 'hello, how you doing' in the middle of the robbery, that's just not the way it works you know."

"Fucking humor me, how were you planning to get in and out, unnoticed?"
"Patience is a virtue, man. I would have watched you for a while, sooner or later you would have brought some supplies, with that I would gain knowledge where your stock room is, after that just a little more studying the pattern of your guards, shifts change and shit. And before you know it, you are a few cans lighter on food and I am long gone."
"And what do you think would happened after we found out someone stole from us?"
"You would probably point your finger at someone from inside. The weakest link, or someone most of you don't trust and he or she would take a fall. In smaller groups, people usually turn on each other but you are not a small group and you probably have a system."
"And you wouldn't feel at least a bit of remorse someone took the blame for you and probably died."
"No, why would I. It's is live or die world now, not live and let live, there is no place for regrets in survival. Fewer people means more food, it's a simple math. A survival of the fittest and that kind of shit."
"You are fucking ruthless."
"Practical is the term I am more fond of."
"And you are telling me all this and not have a bit of fear I deem you dangerous and kill you."
"No fear? I am shitting my pants right now but if you want to kill me you will do it no matter what I say to you. I would rather go as a threat than as a liability. Die with some dignity at least."

"Alight, then.. it is all I need to know. Do you have some questions for me, before we proceed."
"Will you let me go?"
"No."
"Fuck! No questions then."

"Then let me lay out your options. Fist the worst one, you refuse to work for us as a living woman, we kill you and make you work for as a dead woman."
"That's a bit radical. Don't you think."
"It is as it is."
"So, I try to leave I die?"
"Pretty fucking much."
"Fuck…"
I am at lost here, I will be honest with you… I don't want to be here, I don't like it here, too many people, too many walls and probably too many rules. I don't like rules, I never manage to follow them, hell, one girl even slapped me because I was cheating while we were playing "don't get angry."
I never liked losing, or rules, or that girl. Sarah, bitch, with her perfect blond ponytail, her blue eyes, and perfect face. She got married to some rich guy just after the college and gave birth to twins only one year after. Sarah, Sarah, Sarah… I can still hear my grandmother singing the praise to her name. Sarah, the granddaughter she never had.

Where was I, ohhh, yes. Should I stay or should I go?
Damn now that song will haunt me for days. I guess I have to live then, I don't want to die while singing it in my head.
Should I stay or should I go now?
If I go, there will be trouble
And if I stay it will be double
How appropriate… Wait, was I singing it out loud.. why is he looking at me like that. Damn it… will I ever get my shit together… I am almost thirty for God's sake.

"Well, you got me cornered here so I will stay…as I living person."
"Good, fucking choice…" he looked genially happy… that's suspicious.

"Do you drink?"
"I used to…"
"So what will it be...I have one fucking fine selection of alcohol here, some classy shit."
"Beer will be fine… I don't want to taste one more classy shit as long as I live."
"As you wish, dear Evelyn."
I can't believe I am missing all the stupid nicknames he was giving me just half an hour ago.

I really missed the taste of beer, the person never learns how precious the little things are before he loses them, cold beer, warm cup of tea, electricity, clean water… I could go on like this forever.

I am thankful for these moments of silence he is giving me, it relaxing and I can't remember when was the last time I was relaxed.

"So, dear Evelyn, this is how it is, you have three options, or in your case two, for now."
"Why two?"
"Because the first one is you become one of us, you go on runs, make sure people here are safe and you don't work for points, you get a room on upper levels and live like a fucking queen, with everything you need."
"And that option is not opened for me, because?"
"Because I don't fucking trust you and I can't be sure you won't bail on us the first chance you get."

That is hurtful, true but still hurtful.

"Alight, I can see your point of view, I don't agree with it but I see it."
His suspicions are well placed, I would leave them the first chance I got and I will leave the first chance I get, I am not planning on staying here but he doesn't have to know that.
"I am glad you understand me. Now, let us go over the second option, you become one of the workers, get a job, work for points and buy shit you need. You will be sleeping with rest of them on the first level and live as they live…. Frankly, I would rather fucking die than live like that and I am sure you would too, but I needed to offer you that way out just in case you don't accept the third option which I fucking don't see why you wouldn't, but people are a fucking strange sort."
"Tell me about it… alright… what it that third and final option?"

"Before we proceed, I want you to know I don't offer this to everyone and the only reason I am offering it to you is that I like you and I want to have you close. Come with me, let me show you something."

I am not as reluctant to take his hand as I am to leave the room. I really don't know what awaits me on the other side but I am almost completely sure I won't fucking like it.

I was right, ohhh, how I was right, shit… this is not the good time to start doing that.

The room, the room was filled with women, its like he has every fucking available mode, blond- checked, redhead- checked, busty short one- checked, tall slim one- checked. I guess I have to be thankful they are all dressed, barely but still, nothing is falling out, almost nothing.
Woow, looked at the breasts on that one, I am fucking jealous, even with silicon's I couldn't get a pair of those… why does nature love some people more than the others?

"Ladies, ladies, can I get a minute of your attention."
First thing I notice is that they are not kneeling, so apparently to keep a bit of dignity in this place you have to fuck this man. Nice…. this was sarcasm for all of you who didn't get it.
"I want you to meet Evelyn, she is the newest member of our community…"
"Evelyn….Evelyn Warwick…" reedy woman's voice interrupted him in the midsentence.
Fuck… this is the last thing I needed…

"Is that really you?…. The Evelyn Warwick?" A blond woman approached me, her cheeks turning red… I know that look... she will start hugging me like we are best friends at any moment.
"No." My attempt to get out of this mess is just pathetic.
I don't mean to sound pretentious or anything, but the main reason why I liked isolation are people like her… why…why do you like me!
I am a fucking bitch and still, people would approach me like I just solved the problem of the world hunger. All because my grandfather was rich and I was a spoiled brat who made headlines being drunk as fuck and a complete embarrassment to all my ancestors.
"WAYWARD CHILD OF WARWICK LINE... NO ONE KNOWS WHERE SHE CAME FROM AND NO ONE KNOWS WHERE SHE IS GOING."

I still get noxious thinking about those headlines. One good thing about the apocalypse is my complete anonymity, something that I just fucking lost. Who would have thought that people who read those kinds of magazines were able to survive this long?

"Wait, you told me your name is Evelyn." Of course, his big mouth will ruin everything.
"Really man, really…" and I didn't even finish my course of words, good for me because I am sure he would have killed me if I did, the woman grabbed me, pulling me into a tight embrace.

"Omg! You found Evelyn Warwick…" right he found me.
"She fucking found us…"
Yeah, rub it in a bit more, will you?
"I loved you… you were my idol.. oh God, I can't believe you are here!"
This is just ridiculous… this woman is not right in the head, me… someone's idol. Fuck, what's wrong with people.

"Negan, tell her to release me…"
How I wish my hands were free so I can choke him to death… not only did he not tell her to let me go, he stepped away, looking at us with that same fucking grin on his face. Why I just don't understand, why does he enjoy watching me suffer?
I wish I choose the death option.

In all honesty, a hug wasn't that long, but it was infuriating. I hate when people give themselves a right to touch me without my permission. You don't walk to a complete stranger in the middle of the street and just hug him, it is socially unacceptable behavior so why do people think it is ok to stop me in the middle of the street and give me a hug, or talk to me out of nowhere, or even insult me when I am just minding my own fucking business.

The woman stepped away from me, finally, but her hands still lingered on my upper arms and her smile was so wide, I swear if she didn't have ears her head would split.

"Are you staying here with us?"
"Like I have any fucking choice…" I grumbled.
"What?"
And great, she didn't hear me. But guess who did, fuck, how he registered what I said from another side of the room and she didn't!

"I told you, Evelyn, you have plenty of fucking choices."
"Die or stay here… wow, thank you for your generosity."
I made him mad with this one, but at least he dragged me out of that fucking room and away from that woman. Him, I can stand him, maybe I would even have liked him if I met him in different circumstances but people like her, no, people like here never sat well with me, so better to listen to him ranting on about his justice than to listen to her squealing.

And we are back in his room, he didn't offer me to sit down, so I choose to stay standing while he paced from one side of the room to another.

"First and fucking foremost, you don't speak to me like that ever again!"
Oh, noooo, you didn't just yell at me…
"I will speak to you, however, the hell I fucking want!"
"That is not how the shit works here!"
"I don't give a fuck how shit works here! I am forced to stay here so you might as well get used to me talking back to you or kill me or let me go… I don't give a fuck anymore!"

Next thing I felt is his gloved hand around my neck and my back hitting the door behind me. His face was so close to mine I could feel his breath but the funny thing is, his hand was just there, he didn't tighten the grip, he was just resting in around my neck.
If he wanted to, he could just end me there and no one would bat an eye, but it seems like he doesn't want to. Why? I don't have a fucking clue, if I had to deal with someone like me for five minutes, I wouldn't last two.

"Can't you see it, you damn woman," his voice was so low it made my skin warm, "I am giving you an opportunity for better life, life away from those monster, safety and you are ruining it with your stubbornness."

"I don't want a better life I was doing just fine without you and this cursed place."

He stepped away, wow, I thought my grandmother had the best 'you're a disappointment' face but, boy, I was wrong. The way he is looking at me almost makes me regret everything I said to him so far, almost.

"I gave you your choices, now it is time for you to speak."
I don't like the flat tone of his voice, I don't know why I just don't; it sounds unnatural.

"So my choices are, to work my butt off for some scraps of food or to join those women in your own private brothel?"
"Those are my wives, it is not a brothel."
"I knew few priests who would strongly disagree with you, but whatever. Fighting with you is just useless. So let us just finish this shit. I will work, I will earn my keep."
"Are you sure? I won't fucking ask you twice."
"Yes, I am sure."
No, I am not sure, I have a feeling I will regret this decision in an hour but if you chose the other option I would regret it in a minute. I am no one's second choice, or sixth in this case, or was it seventh, fuck I didn't even count how many of them are in there.

"Alright then, if you fucking want to work, you will work, we have a few job openings, I will be kind enough to let you choose what you want to do."
"Ok," I am done talking with him, I wouldn't mind if this was the last time we spoke. But I am not that lucky, I just know I'm not.

It couldn't be worse. I could be dead.