Hi everyone - thanks for the encouraging reviews. I'm glad to be finished Somebody to love, finally. This is my new project! However, I don't see this being very long (yes I know I said that about my last story, but I this time I think I'm going to be right).

If you haven't already picked up on it, this story has a present tense commentary running through it from a 74 year old Will. In saying that, this story will jump to different times of both his and Emma's lives from there 30s - now ("now" being, well let's just pretend we are in like year 2056 - whatever year we have to be in for Will to be 74). Also, what I really want to explore is the possible incompatibilities of them being together. The insecurities in either Emma or Will that I can see, within reason and character, that could drive them apart (EVEN if they still want to be together).

So, did anyone understand a word of what I just said? :P I'll stop now. Just read it and hopefully, enjoy.

The Beginning of The End

They both agreed to take it slow. After all, his divorce hadn't gone through yet, and Ken still wouldn't speak to either of them.

She was looking for a new job and he was looking for a new apartment. She would have offered him a room at hers, but they both realized that wouldn't exactly be taking it slow.

Eventually he did find an apartment. A nice little two bedroom about 10 minutes away from school. Emma however, didn't have the same success. And she began dipping into her savings just to get by.

Maybe that was what spurred everything into motion, at least in Will's head. He started to become restless. Maybe it was because he had never been alone since high school. He thinks its because he loves her so much and just wants to be with her.

Admittedly, he was probably too forward. Perhaps came on too strong. But after the disastrous relationship he had just recovered from, he wanted to immerse himself in something warm and beautiful.

Emma.

However, they were both in very different mindsets.

She wasn't ready. And looking back now, surrounded by photos of children given to him by another woman, he realizes she probably never would have been ready - especially with the knowledge of where she is now, and what happened years after that kiss.

In him she had finally gotten the man she had always dreamt of. Her dreams had literally come true. But dreams and reality are very different, and Emma would come to realize that.

However, what he had come to realize was that he should have fought harder for her. Whether or not she could ever have been "ready", he still should have waited. Because being with her or just simply waiting for her was better than alternative: the life he had lived.

A life without her.

***

But back then, he was so optimistic, so eager. Maybe too much so. And that's what made him unreasonable. He just wanted to be with her and he couldn't help but feel it. Want it. Demand it.

He had changed, after all that he had gone through with Terri, and maybe that was a part of the reason.

"I think you should move in with me. I want to be with you Emma."

They were Christmas shopping at the local mall and had stopped by the window of one of the department stores. They had been browsing through all the little shops, trying to find gifts but mostly just enjoying the others company.

Looking back, he can't remember exactly, but he thinks his younger self thought she was actually ready, or at least he deluded himself into thinking so.

"Will...I want that too, I do. But it's too early….I can only imagine what people must think already…."

"I don't care what other people think. All I care about is you and me, us. As long as we're together, nothing else matters. And think about it, then you can stop paying rent you can't afford." He didn't know why he was so determined, so stubborn, why he couldn't just listen to what she was saying.

She was the reasonable one. And now, as he sits alone, he can see it. Pity the 32-year-old version of him can't.

"I don't know Will. It just doesn't feel right yet." She replied, unconvinced at his pleas.

Maybe it was because Terri never believed in him, not really. And because Emma always had, no matter what.

Except for now, apparently.

Well maybe it wasn't a case of belief, moreso trust or want or need. He wasn't so sure. His mind was all muddled and he knew the connections he was making right weren't right, but for some reason he couldn't help but make them. Somewhere he knew that Emma believed in him, more than anyone had else ever had, yet all this was being clouded by a wave of emotions he couldn't seem to tame.

Anger, hurt, passion.

He overreacted and he knew it.

"Fine. If you don't want to be with me, you could just say it instead of coming up with all these damn excuses. God, it was supposed to be easy this time." And even though he was being melodramatic, he had said some truth. She was making excuses, whether she realized it or not.

Emma looked shocked for a second, processing his harsh words before quickly moving closer to him. She took his hands, her eyes pleading, desperate.

"No! Will you know I want to be with you. It just….it doesn't feel right yet. It's too soon."

If only he could go back and yell at himself; shake, even kick, some sense into that dim-witted brain. Let it be known that he was being too steadfast, plowing ahead with too much speed than she could handle.

"Emma, I'm tired of waiting. I've never felt like this about anyone before, and now that I do I feel like I've been waiting my whole life. If you cared for me then you'd be with me...it's now or never." He didn't need to be 74-years-old to know how stupid he was to say those words. He was so caught up in the moment, in trying to persuade her, and even seconds after they had fallen from his mouth he wished they hadn't.

Giving her an ultimatum was probably the worst thing he could have done. She looked scared, but he knew she hated to be intimidated.

Before he could even backtrack over his words, she was speaking. "If you cared for me, you'd wait. And if you can't wait, then I choose never." She let go of his hands, clearly hurt, and walked away.

In all honesty, he hadn't actually expected her to say never. Naively he had thought, hoped, that by making her choose, she would be forced to take that leap of faith with him. Instead, it completely backfired and now he had managed to somehow push away the woman he loved, by wanting her too much. It didn't make sense to him.

One day she would laugh at her insecurities and he would mock his stupidity. But that was years later, and it took them a long time to get to that point.

Right now, he didn't have the luxury of time or hindsight. She was already a fair distance from him, and his feet seemed to be stuck to the floor. He had stunned even himself. What the hell was wrong with him?

He watched, helplessly, as she walked further and further away from him. His vision of her became distorted, and he lost her at times in between people. As she became but a tiny spec in the mass of moving people, all he could think to do was turn and walk the opposite way.

***

Emma wanted to be with Will, but honestly, she didn't know how. Years she had spent pining over him, wishing that it were his arms she fell asleep in and his face she woke up to.

But living out her dream, well, who really knows how to do that? Being in love with Will had been some of the most painful times of her life, so whenever it came to loving him, that was all she knew.

Pain.

Longing.

Hurt.

But now apparently she was allowed to love him, freely and without pain. And it confused her, scared her. The actual prospect of having him terrified her.

She knew he was ready, so ready to commit. Yet she still felt hesitant. What if it didn't work out? What if he fell out of love with her, just like he had with Terri?

She didn't think she could handle that. No, that would break her, irreparably.

So she told him it was too soon, and they should wait – after all, she didn't want people to think that she was some sort of home wrecker. But somewhere, someplace that she pushed to the back of her mind, she knew she was making excuses. A few days after their kiss they discussed taking it slow. Then only a few weeks later he was coming to her, declaring that he wanted to be with her, for real. She wasn't sure what brought this on, but she did kind of see it coming.

He was so much surer of himself than she was or ever could be. Even though he had been hurt so deeply, he still had so much confidence in his feelings, and in her.

She knew they could be great together. But she didn't trust herself. And it was all the pressure, all that expectation that scared her. The fact that now she actually had something to lose.

So when he gave her an ultimatum, she saw an escape route and grasped onto it.

"…then I chose never."

And it only took a few moments as she was walking away for Emma to realize what a mistake she was making.

***

Well they both were, making mistakes that is, yet neither seemed to be able to stop.

And neither looked back.