Holding Onto Stars
Chapter 2
Blaine hated crowds. He just couldn't feel comfortable around others. Yesterday had been awful for him, everyone staring at him, laughing at his clothes, his broken arm and judging him. He didn't understand why people couldn't leave him alone and just let him be. He didn't want any attention or anyone to notice him. Well, maybe it wouldn't hurt to have one friend. Actually, all Blaine wanted was a friend, but he couldn't. No one ever wants to be friends with the new kid, the one that barely talks and flinches at any form of contact.
Walking down the corridor to his French class on his second day at his new school, Blaine felt himself begin to tremble in fear. It was too loud, people shouting to their friends, laughing, gossiping and the slam of lockers. Then the bell sounded. The pitchy shrilling sound, making everyone push past and get to their lessons, rang in Blaine's ears. People were brushing past Blaine, some walking into him and shoving him. He couldn't take it, all he could think of was being at his old school, getting pushed around by all the jocks, the word 'fag' echoing around his head. Every time someone walked past him, they would shout insults, occasionally pushing him into the lockers. Someone knocked into Blaine, making him stumble. He suddenly became aware of his surroundings; too many people surrounding him. Trying with all his might to keep himself grounded, Blaine closed his eyes and focused on counting down, just like his therapist said.
10… 9…
Someone barged into Blaine and he felt himself start to lose control and his breathing became more rapid; his heart pounding against his ribs.
8… 7… 6…
Every time someone brushed past him, Blaine felt it like a punch. His memories coming back to him; a group of boys, kicking and punching-
No. He needed to focus on counting and ignore everything else.
5… 4... 3... 2…
His breaths were become sharper and he found it hard to breath. He felt a familiar numbness spreading through the tips of his fingers and a heavy weight pressing down on his chest, making it even harder for him to catch his breath. Fear coursed throughout his body, until it all went black.
Blaine opened his eyes, and noticed someone kneeling in front of him; holding onto his shoulders trying to wake him up.
"Blaine?"
Blaine grunted, eyes squinting as they adjusted to the light. "What happened?"
"I don't know, I was on my way to my French class and I saw you faint. Why? Are you ok? Should I take you to the nurse? Or do you want to go home?"
"N-no. I, uh, I'm fine…" Blaine replied, uneasily. Suddenly Blaine realized what had happened, his eyes widened and his cheeks flushed pink; embarrassment racing through him. He had had a panic attack. In the middle of a school hallway. He had fainted. Blaine then looked up and noticed the boy in front of him. His gorgeous blue eyes filled with concern, but Blaine didn't understand. Why would he care? Then Blaine realized that Kurt had known his name.
"Wait, how do you know my name?"
A flash of fear shot through Kurt's eyes just before he replied "I was in glee club yesterday. I'm Kurt"
It was Kurt, from glee club. One of the most popular boys in school, he was someone that everyone seemed to want to be friends with. Blaine didn't understand why he would be talking to him, no one ever wanted to talk to him. What if it was all a joke and there were people just round the corner waiting to laugh at Blaine. He then realized that the boy was still holding onto his shoulders, and he suddenly jerked away.
"I should, I should go… I've got to get to class."
As Blaine tried to lift himself off of the floor, he felt a wave of dizziness course through him, making him stumble. Kurt was suddenly on his feet holding onto Blaine's shoulders once again.
"Woah, take it easy there Blaine. We don't want you getting hurt. Are you sure you don't want to go to the nurse?"
Blaine shook his head regretting it instantly as another flash of dizziness shot through his head. Blaine turned, despite knowing he should probably go home, and started towards his next class. As he was walking down the hallway Kurt realized that this could just be his chance to become friends with him. No-one was here to judge him for talking to him, his reputation might not end up ruined.
"Wait!" Kurt shouted, running to catch up with Blaine. "What class have you got?"
"Uh, french…"
"With Madame Pascale?"
Blaine nodded.
"Do you want to hang out instead? I'm sure we won't be missed… We can go sit round the back of the school. I found a spot there where no one goes. Plus, you look like your about to faint again and that probably isn't a good idea. We can just rest?" Kurt looked uneasy, like he shouldn't have asked.
Blaine stiffened. "I- uh…"
This must surely be a joke; Kurt was obviously just setting him up for something. He didn't know what, but why would Kurt be talking to Blaine. Blaine with the broken arm, bow ties and braces.
Kurt must have noticed his change in attitude. "Okay, um, we could just go to class, but we've already missed 20 minutes, we could just head straight to lunch."
"Um.. okay.." Blaine knew he shouldn't agree. He knew that it could just be a way for the jocks to beat him up. But something about Kurt made him agree. He just wanted that one friend so badly.
"Come on then." Kurt said, smiling sweetly at Blaine. "We're only missing French."
Blaine's eyes widened."But, I'm awful at French! I can't skip, I'll get an F and then my parents will be all disappointed in me and I won't get into a good college and I won't be straight A's and-"
"Blaine! I'm sure I can help you. I'm practically fluent in French, I'm you'll learn a lot more from me than Madame Pascale. She doesn't really care much about anything."
"Oh.. um.. okay. Thanks." Blaine gave Kurt a small smile.
Blaine sat down next to Kurt round the back of the building, in a very secluded spot. From here, he could see everything happening on the field, but no one could see him. This worried Blaine as it gave Kurt and his friends the perfect chance to hurt him.
"I like your bowtie" Blaine's head shot up, and he caught Kurt's gaze. Kurt blushed and looked down, looking as if he hadn't meant to say that.
"Thank you" Blaine reached up to straighten the bow tie, "They're kind of my thing." He didn't know why he said that, he'd never told anyone that before. But honestly, he'd never really had anyone to tell, except from maybe Josh. But he hadn't seen him since the incident at his old school, plus he didn't know if Josh even considered him as a friend.
Kurt spoke after a few minutes of silence, jolting Blaine from his thoughts, "So Blaine, how're you finding McKinley so far?"
"It's been okay, I guess." Blaine replied quietly.
"Have you made any friends yet?"
Blaine was silent for a minute but before Kurt could say anything, he slowly shook his head.
Kurt suddenly felt so sorry for the boy, he must feel so unwelcome and Kurt knew exactly how that felt. No-one deserved to be treated like that. All thoughts of the blackmail were wiped from Kurt's mind as he spoke.
"Well, how about I advise you on who you should and shouldn't try and make friends with?" Kurt said.
Blaine just nodded, "Um.. okay…"
Kurt pulled an old yearbook from his bag, opening it up and laying it on the floor in front of them both.
"Okay, so that there," Kurt began, pointing to a short girl with brown hair and wearing an animal jumper, "is Rachel Berry…"
"Oh god. She really needs to rethink her clothing choices…"
"You do not know how many times I have told her that!" Kurt laughed, the sound ringing through the air. Blaine thought it was such a beautiful sound and the fact that he had made Kurt laugh send a thrill through his body. "Yeah, Rachel, well, she's a diva. Unless you want to listen to her go on about her life for hours, I suggest you don't talk to her. She's very… self-centered. Although, I guess she is a great friend to some of the glee kids."
"Wait, aren't you a glee kid?"
"Well, yeah. But, I'm not as in to in as the others…" Kurt avoided Blaine's eyes. He didn't want Blaine to figure out the truth. "Anyway, that girl, the blonde one, that's Brittany. She's a lovely girl, kind of dim. Actually, she's quite stupid."
Blaine chuckled, he figured that Kurt might actually be there to talk to him and not to beat him up like he originally thought. Maybe Blaine has actually found a friend here.
"Seriously Blaine, she's just Brittany. You'll understand if you talk to her. Oh and her," Kurt said, pointing to another girl, "That's Santana…"
Kurt had decided that Blaine had the most beautiful voice, he could sit there listening to Blaine talk for hours. In fact, he had been sitting there with Blaine for the past hour and a half. After Kurt had described most of the people in the school, Blaine began to open up to Kurt. He told him about his interest of musicals, which they found out both the boys shared, and he shared his musical abilities. Kurt was beyond impressed when Blaine told him that he played the piano, guitar and violin. Eventually the conversation faded and after a few minutes of silence Kurt decided to break it.
"So Blaine, why did you transfer to McKinley?"
All of a sudden, Blaine tensed, unable to form a coherent sentence. "I-uh- I can't…"
Kurt froze, not knowing what to do.
"Hey, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I'm not making you do anything."
Blaine took a deep breath, calming himself down, eyes downcast.
"What about your family then?" Kurt grimaced at this question, remembering the blackmail. Kurt flinched internally, he knew he wouldn't be here talking to Blaine if it wasn't for Cooper.
"I get on OK with my parents. They're always away though, on business trips and such. Sometimes I just wish they were there more often. I love them anyway. I have a brother, Cooper, he used to go to this school actually"
"Cooper Anderson? Yeah, I've heard of him" Kurt faked a smile, as Blaine continued, not wanted to hear all about Blaine amazing older brother.
"He is the one person I can always rely on to be there for me, I don't think-"
Kurt sighed a breath of relief as the bell rang signaling the start of their next lesson.
"We should probably get to our next lesson since we've already skipped one"
"Yeah, okay."
As soon as Kurt got home, he went straight up to his bedroom and threw himself onto his bed. He was so confused. He wanted to hate Blaine for messing up his life. He wanted to pretend he was so much better than him. He didn't want the guilt to overtake his body because Kurt didn't want to ruin his reputation by being seen with Blaine. That was why he took him to that secluded spot; he knew no one would see them both there.
Groaning, Kurt lifted himself off of his bed and got his laptop. Recently, Kurt had gone on a random forum site so he could vent all of his problems to a stranger. One stranger had caught Kurt's interest and they had started to message each other whenever they had the chance. They hadn't shared any personal details apart from their names and Kurt was adamant that Dave, the boy Kurt was messaging, didn't know anything about Kurt just in case.
Finally Kurt's laptop logged on and Kurt immediately saw that Dave was online.
You busy? - KH
What's up? -DK
I don't know what to do. –KH
Hey, what's going on? -DK
There's a new kid at my school. He's a nerd, unpopular, in glee and gay. -KH
Well, no-one knows he's gay. -KH
Except from me. -KH
I don't get what the problem is? You don't have to talk to him… -DK
That's the problem! Unless I want everyone knowing that I'm gay, I have to be friends with him! –KH
Okay, calm down because I can just tell you're getting all worked up over this, and tell me what's going on. -DK
His older brother found me last week and blackmailed me to be friends with him. -KH
Wow ok. How did he even find out? -DK
I don't know! That's not even the whole problem. -KH
Today, I starting talking to Blaine and he is so amazing and he is so adorable and cute. And I don't know what I'm feeling right now. -KH
What's wrong with that? I mean, that's good right. You'll have a gay friend at your school that you can talk to so you won't be so alone. Plus you will have someone in real life to talk to, not just me over a computer. -DK
I shouldn't want to be his friend right? I mean, everyone will hate me, and I'll start getting bullied again, and I just hate it. I want to be who I am. I just feel so guilty as well! The only reason I spoke to him was because his brother blackmailed me. -KH
And I like talking to you; I don't have to worry about you telling everyone my secrets. Plus, it's nice to just have someone who understands. -KH
Oh ok, I get it. I honestly don't know what you can do. It's kind of a lose-lose situation for you. –DK
Thanks Dave, that makes me feel so much better.-KH
Hey! I'm trying to help. I'm no good at this stuff. –DK
Okay, so since I am so bad at giving you help, maybe I can cheer you up. So, you obviously like this Blaine kid… -DK
Oh my god. –KH
What's he like then? He must be special, it takes a lot to get you all worked up. –DK
He's amazing. He just… He makes forget about everything else that's going on. And he's just.. him… -KH
Wow. He must be something else.-DK
He is. He really is. -KH
AN: So, yeah. Here's chapter 2. Just to make it clear- Dave doesn't go to McKinley here, he goes to another school.
Anyway, I hope you like it, let me know what you think and thanks for the reviews and alerts so far! :D