(Revised Chapter!)
Sadly, I own nothing! Except for Jay and other things you've never heard of before. :P
I be warning you. Here, there be a Sue. -.o
Chapter 2- Silverleaf Greenstar? TF?
Yep! I remember it clearly now. It was about 7:15 a.m. and I was on my way to school, driving down the road in my Jeep, blasting out some Huey Lewis and the News. The Power of Love, to be exact.
That's a badass song and don't tell me otherwise.
I pulled up to my favorite Doughnut shop and pulled out three dollars, walked into the shop, and the girl behind the counter instantly realized who I was.
"The usual? A dozen doughnut holes and a Mountain Dew, right?" she asked. Her family owned and ran the doughnut shop. I nodded at her with a smile and gave her the money. She smiled back and grabbed a white paper bag and went back in the back. I was puzzled at what she was doing, until I saw her fill my bag with fresh, warm, right-from-the-oven doughnuts…
~J~
"Oh damn. If I really am in Middle Earth... Which I'm pretty sure I am... Then I am really going to miss doughnuts... And Mountain DEW! Oh god, Mnt. Dew. No! The sweet nectar of the gods! Why?!" I cried out. I heard my voice echo around the forest and that's when I came back to my senses, realizing that anything within a five mile radius could have heard that. Ok, mini freak-out over with, back to the reason why I'm here!
~J~
She gave me the bag, my Dew, and my change and I thanked her and walked out the door. I jumped back in my Jeep and cut the music back on and drove the rest of the way to school. It felt good to be a Senior.
~J~
"Oh my gosh... None of it matters any more. I don't have to be a slave to high school anymore! I'm eighteen years old and have my whole life ahead of me. Oh hell yes. I'm staying in Middle Earth. That's that."
~J~
I pulled into my assigned parking spot and turned the engine off. I stared out and looked at all the students standing in front of the school. I took a deep breath and prepared myself for another day.
"Jay-Jay!" came an annoyingly, high pitched, feminine voice.
Great. My good day just came to a screeching halt. My preparation has crashed and burned and died. I slowly turned my head and looked out of my car window to see her. She waved wildly at me. I rolled my eyes and pulled my keys out of the ignition and stepped out of my Jeep.
"Like, how is your morning so far Jay-Jay?" she said. I cringed. I quickly grabbed my black shoulder pack. Love those things. I currently have all three Lord of the Rings books stuffed in the biggest pouch.
~J~
"Wait a second..." I said to myself again. I looked around the forest floor for my pack. It's gotta be around here some- "Aha! There you are!" It was sitting at the base of a tree about five feet from where I landed. I picked it up and brushed the foliage off of it. The weight of the pack still felt the same, so I hadn't lost anything.
I still wanted to make sure though. I zipped it open and saw my three books still intact and looking healthy as ever. My MP3 was also there and my headphones, also my cell phone. I shrugged and turned it off. I'm in Middle Earth now and once I find a place to stay and possibly live, I'm cutting all my ties with electronics... Minus my MP3. Gotta keep my music. Anyways Pencils, Sharpies, a mirror, a pen, pepper spray (just in case) and my chap-stick. "Thank god!" Everything seemed to be there. Great! Back to the reason.
~J~
"How many times do I have to tell you Beatrice? It's just one 'Jay'. Just one! My name is Jay and that is it. Not Jay-Jay!" Just saying the nickname made me cringe.
"Well, like, how many times do I have to tell you Jay? Don't call me Beatrice! I, like, freaking hate that name!" she said all girly and annoyingly. She flipped her hair and rolled her eyes.
Ok, let me just start by saying that Beatrice was the legit human embodiment of a Mary-Sue. She had the looks and everything. The only thing out of place was her awkward name. She told me it was a family name and she hated it with something akin to the 'fiery pits of the mountain of fire'.
Repetitive and agonizing, yes?
Mmhmm. Thought so.
She claims she's well-versed in the movies but only to parts that have meaning to her. Which is any part with a studly specimen in it, obviously. She gets a lot of stuff wrong, and when she does, I want to slap the ever living Mordor out of her. It takes my whole willpower to restrain myself.
Anyways, her hair was long and golden with even lighter blonde streaks in it and her eyes were a crystal-clear blue. Her skin was that kind of weird, pale color. You know, that kind that 'Makes her glow like the moon in the dead of night.' Yeah, that kind of crap. To make matters worse, she wasn't just a sue look-a-like. She was a SUETHOR as well.
Just looking at her made my eyes want to bleed and hearing her voice made my brain want to ooze out of my ears, but unfortunately I am stuck with her. She won't leave me alone and she insists that 'We R, like, totally Bffs!1'.
No.
The only reason why she thinks we are so called 'Bffs' is because she found out that I like the Lord of the Rings movies. Of course, I am a legit diehard Ringer/Tolkienite fan and have read all three books about a jillion times and read the Hobbit three times AND read the Silmarillion three times and the collection of Unfinished Tales at least twice...
Also, the first time she arrived at my school, which was last year, nobody would talk to her and I felt bad for her so I struck up a conversation with her. Just one conversation. Ever since, she has hung around me non-stop.
I looked at Beatrice who was now leaning against my Jeep. I locked it, then slammed the door, causing her to jump and get off of my car. I didn't want her turning it all pink and sparkly. I liked my green Jeep Liberty. I started making my way to the front of the school, with Ms. Mary-Sue following close behind. I smirked.
"Yeah, I know you hate the name Beatrice. But what do you suggest I call you today?" Did I mention she changes her name everyday? She bounced up beside me and smiled a perfect smile, showing all of her perfect white teeth. My smirk vanished and was replaced with a trying-to-hide-it grimace.
Valar help me, she was so annoyingly perfect. I hated her perfectness as much as I hate Lurtz. Stupid bastard Uruk Hai... trying to kill Aragorn... He needs to kill Beatrice is what he needs to do...
Oops, another rant. My apologies everybody.
But anyways her perfectness sickened me. I had braces for a year and a half when I was thirteen. Now I have a small permanent retainer behind my top teeth and my bottom teeth. They are straight and white and very nice, I think.
So here's the differences between us right? She has radioactive blonde hair highlight things, I have dirty blonde hair with jagged bangs hanging in my eyes and that is exactly how I like it. She has crystal-clear blue eyes that she claims changes color with her emotions (I call bullshit on that) While I have just plain dark blue eyes. She has freakishly pale skin that everyone thinks is beautiful (I call bullshit AGAIN) While I just have fair skin. I either am pale or a lobster. There is no in between. But Ms. Beatrice can tan wonderfully though she says she refuses to becaauuussee 'Like, it totally makes me look like an elf! Like, all I need now are pointed ears and stuff!'
If she grows pointed ears I will personally cut them off and feed them to my pet Warg... If I had one. Well, I'm in Middle Earth now! I suppose I could get one! Hmm... *Note to self- Ask someone, namely Elrond and/or Gandalf, if it is legal to have a pet Warg and train him to fight the good fight.*
"I, like, have the most totally awesome perfect name! I think I'll just change my name to this name! I might just, like, keep this name the rest of my whole life!" she answered excitedly.
"Yeah, what ten minutes you have left of your life." I mumbled.
"Huh?" she said with a confused expression. I forced a fake smile.
"Nothing, please continue." I said through gritted teeth. God I think one of my lungs just collapsed.
"Ok! So, like, here is my name. My name is Elyssa Mindalanna Sapphire Silverleaf Greenstar!" I stopped dead in my tracks. This name had to be a new record. All of her other ones had only been three names long or two, but FIVE?! Well, I know there are worse out there but I've never actually heard one in real life, only read about them on Fan Fiction. As soon as I see four or more names, I'm out. I hit the back button so many times that it takes me back to the 90's internet.
I slowly turned and looked at her and felt my jaw fall off of it's hinges and hit the ground. What the hell is wrong with her?
"Pretty huh?" she asks with an unearthly sparkle in her eye. The sparkle from her eyes sent a glare and hit me in my eyes causing me to go blind for a second and then have a little dark eye-floater following my pupil out of the corner of my vision. I rubbed my eyes and felt my agitation swell up.
"Five names? Are you freaking kidding me? Mindalanna? Silverleaf Greenstar? Give me a damn break!" I said. She still had a smile on her face. Another big difference between me and her. She has five freakin' names with fourteen syllables! (Yes I counted but it's only to prove my point) And I have one name.
Jay.
One syllable.
Simple.
It's all you need.
"Yeah! Like, you know how like, Leggy's last name is Greenleaf? Well, I like split his name up and, like, put it with mine! And, like, Mindalanna is, like, an elfish name that I thought was totally pretty! Pretty smart huh? That's my new character too, but of course it's actually me!" she said happily. I shook my head and walked away. I'm surprised my brain hasn't turned to gooey mush from hanging around with the real life Sue for this long of time.
I kept running her name over in my head and trying to place the Elvish name and what it means... I'd never heard one like that before... That's when I realized it wasn't a name at all, but two words mistakenly thrown together. I'm sure she did it on purpose, thinking no one would know elvish. But I know a bit of Elvish and with the help of my handy dandy cell phone, which has the internet page for the Grey-elvish dictionary saved on it, it was easy to look up and find.
The elvish word Minda means conspicuous and the elvish word Lanna means clothing. Conspicuous Clothing. Well, she often does wear slutty clothes sometimes and tries to be all innocent about it. Saw right through that little charade. I smirked to myself as I thought up a good comeback to tell her what her name really meant. I turned around and saw the idiot still standing in the middle of the road. She was rummaging through her purse for something. I was about to give her a very, very smart ass comment... And I had a good comment too, when suddenly I heard the loud screeching of tires. I looked to my left to see a white car heading straight for the idiot at break-neck speed. The driver looked to be unconscious because his head was on the steering wheel.
"Holy shit! Move!" I yelled. I bolted towards her and pushed Beatrice out of the way just in time for her, but I didn't move quick enough for me. Everything turned black and the last image I saw was the car about to hit my legs. I felt no pain, and after the darkness came the light, then the feeling of falling, then the screaming, then the ass busting and the butt hurting.
"And now here I am." I said aloud again. I took a look around at the forest I was in. Quite beautiful, if you ask me. Birds chirping and such, the bright warm sun shining through the trees. It wasn't hot, nor was it cold. Just right. Spring is what it feels like. I died the supposed 'Death of a Mary-Sue' so...
"If my calculations of Middle Earth, Mary-Sues and Fan Fiction are correct, then I should be somewhere close to Rivendell."
"Right you are, interesting stranger!"
"Holy shit!" I yelled. I felt like I had jumped about five feet in the air. I turned around so fast that somehow I tripped over my own foot and my butt hit the ground again. I closed my eyes and groaned. My tailbone hurt and I think my left cheek has possibly gone numb.
"That might leave a bruise." said another voice. I could tell both voices were that of dudes. I opened my eyes and looked up. Two very identical, very dark haired elves smiled brightly at me. Their bows were down and their strings were loose, but they had arrows strung just in case. They didn't seem to be threatening me and I knew exactly who they were too. I stared at them, a little dumbfounded.
"Oh god. This is real. Holy fudge this is really real! What th- I know you guys! You're Elladan and Elrohir!" I said with a smile and a laugh.
"The two and only! I'm Elrohir to be exact." said the one on my right.
"And I'm Elladan." said the one on my left.
"And we are the sons of Elrond." they said together. I couldn't help but smile bigger. My nerdy side was having a freaking field day.
Holy shit.
Holy fudge.
I am actually in Middle Earth. I felt a serious scream of excitement and joy coming... Here it comes!
"SCORE!"