A/N: If you hadn't noticed, I made a slight mistake on my last part of this, calling Ethan "Evan." Sorry! Here's a little bit more, hope you enjoy, and thank you for reading. Tell people about it if you liked it!
Disclaimer: I do not own anyone in this story.
Of course, I had never been
Much of a runner, and had to stop
After about five minutes.
I sat on the side of a highway
Watching cars pass me,
Totally out of breath.
And to think that just minutes ago
I had almost caused someone's
Last breath.
You never know what it would take
To make someone commit the ultimate
Ungodly act,
More ungodly than all of the things
I had done,
To do what
I had almost done:
To kill.
I had thought that being left with nothing
But the terrible life I'd known before,
Even less than that,
Would be it for me.
Guess I was wrong.
I'd been wrong about so much lately.
I sat there and allowed myself to cry.
For the people I had lost
For the lives I'd almost stolen
For the one that I was contemplating taking:
My own.
Suicide is just as much
of a sin as killing,at least in my
church's book. But what did I have to
live for? No baby, no love no one
to care, or even notice, that I was
gone. Well, that's not totally true. I
knew that Jackie would notice,
be devastated, mourn the loss
of her sister, her friend.
Was it worth suffering
so she'd be
Happy? I stood up
and looked over the side
of the overpass. Not a far drop,
but with enough luck and broken
bones, I would not move when
a car approached, one
Came and finished
the job. They wouldn't even
notice me until I was crumpled
under their tires, my body as
broken as my heart. and of course
there was the gun.
Two ways to do the job,
And what did I do?
I stood up on the ledge,
Balanced precariously,
And fell
Backwards.
Safe onto the curb
On which I had just cried.
I fell into a crumpled
Heap, sobbing and knowing
What had to be
Done.
I stood up and somehow
Found the energy to run
All the way home.
Thank God I found
No one
Inside.
I pulled out my hidden
Cell phone and knew that
I was about to do
What I had sworn to myself
That I
Wouldn't.
But there was nothing else
To be done.
Nothing else
That I could do besides
End it
All.
I was brave enough to
Ride Paprika, to
Hunt game, to
Almost kill others.
But not enough to kill
Myself.
I speed dialed
Number one, which
Had been programmed
To just the number
That I
Needed.
A voice on the other line.
Hello?
I hesitated and cleared my throat.
Who is this?
The voice was agitated now.
I took a deep breath and
Steeled myself
To answer.
"Aunt J.? I need you.
It's Pattyn."