Aftermath Ch. 2

The usual disclaimers apply. Thanks to all of you who provided reviews and added me to your favorites list. I think you're great and I appreciate the support. Well, this story is proving difficult to write. LG often leaves us with more questions than answers, and trying to sort them out is quite the task. I usually don't quote directly from episodes, but I felt it was called for here. The situations are complex, and I interjected my own interpretations of the exchange between Bo and Lauren. I hope you like, and please keep R&R.

"Lauren, it's Trick." He was hesitant to ask a favor of the grieving woman, but felt he really had no choice. After a long pause he made his request. "I'm sorry to bother you, but can you come down? There was an attack and Hale is hurt bad."

'No, no,' Lauren thought. Her head was swimming. She didn't want anyone to ask anything of her. She cleared her throat, but remained silent.

"Lauren?" There was a hint of concern in the man's voice.

She inhaled deeply, her breath shaking as she drew it in. "Trick I, I really…" She was cut off.

"He really needs your expertise; he really needs you."

In that moment she realized that she still had a purpose to fulfill and an oath to uphold. In an instant, the promise she had made in medical school echoed through her. 'I will remember that I remain a member of society with special obligations to all my fellow beings, those sound of mind and body as well as the infirm.'

A slave to the Ash, a grief-stricken woman, a conflicted human being were all secondary to who she was at her core. No matter her circumstances, and despite her pain, she was still a duty bound physician— a profession she loved and swore to uphold the virtues of no matter what. With that understanding, Lauren felt a modicum of her former self had returned.

"I'll, I'll be there soon."

Lauren, trying to move through her loss, decided that she would make an effort to help herself by helping someone else. She shuffled to her bathroom and undressed. She stood naked, and looked into the mirror for the first time in days. Her thin features, dark eyes, and toned frame looked drawn. She touched her palm to her cheek and allowed it to slide to the valley between her breasts before resting her hand at her side. 'Please give me the strength to get through this God, please.' She pushed her hair back and leaned closer to the glass to get a better look before tearfully stating out loud, "And please don't let me run into Bo, not yet."

Lauren knew that Nadia's case was hopeless and Bo ultimately had no other choice than to end her misery, but Lauren also knew that her despair and her guilt would make her lash out at the succubus. Her anger would be focused, concentrated, and unleashed on Bo because their closeness made the dark haired woman an easy target. Lauren could safely direct her anger toward Bo, even if Bo didn't deserve it, and wouldn't understand it. Lauren was raw, and expecting to attack the only other person who took part in her tragedy.

Upon entering the shower, Lauren winced a bit as the hot spray hit her chilled skin. Goosebumps rose on her arms, and as she lathered her hands. She examined them closely; her eyes following the length of her fingers, the curve of her nails, and the elevation of her veins. She noticed spots of blood ingrained in her fingerprints and her nails. She wanted to scrub every trace of it from them. She could not work effectively if she saw blood on her hands with each glance of them.

Ten minutes later she stepped out, wrapped her body in a clean robe, and began blow-drying her hair. No more than a minute could have passed before she thought she heard her name being called. She shook the thought from her mind, and continued drying her hair.

Bo had entered Lauren's apartment seconds before. She knocked several times and when no one answered, she tried the door, and much to her surprise it was unlocked. She entered the apartment and called out twice for Lauren. There was no response. Taken aback by the mess surrounding her, she moved forward cautiously until her eyes zeroed in on the stain. Bo's respirations increased as panic gripped her. Blood rushed to her ears, and the whole awful scene, complete with Nadia's tortured screams, and Lauren's desperate pleas played out before her. It probably would have repeated itself over and over had it not been for Bo sensing someone was behind her.

She turned on her heels while simultaneously pulling her short sword from its sheath. At that moment, Lauren emerged from the bathroom. She jolted slightly as Bo stood before her wielding the same blade that she killed Nadia with. Lauren however, didn't allow her mind to delve too deeply into that unpleasant fact. Instead, she immediately shielded herself by erecting an imaginary barrier between her and the battle ready woman who stood before her.

Bo spoke first, her heart still pumping fiercely, partly out of surprise and partly out of fear. She had no idea how Lauren would react to her, so she refused to imagine any reaction whatsoever. But seeing the woman tired, vulnerable and clad only in a robe elicited the one emotion she always felt in Lauren's presence. It was a powerful mesh of desire and love that never failed to ignite her senses; over time she learned how to suppress it, but not how to ignore it, and she was comfortable because she never wanted that feeling to fade.

Bo tried to gather her emotions, "Sorry; the door was open so I thought…"

"I'm late Bo." Lauren's gaze was steely, and it scared Bo a bit. "Trick told me that there was an attack and Hale was hurt."

Bo slid the sword back into its sheath while walking toward Lauren with a concerned expression. "Don't you think it's a little early for you to go back to work—considering everything that happened?"

The last thing Lauren wanted was a challenge to her decision to help Hale. She was fragile, and any questioning of her judgment could easily strip away the little bit of strength and certainty she had accumulated. So rather than tell Bo that, her brain, shifted into safe mode, and did what it could to protect Lauren by pushing Bo away.

"Well, I really don't think that Hale can afford for me to take a vacation right now." It came out harsher than she intended, but she couldn't control it.

"I'm just worried about you."

Bitterly Lauren responded, "Yeah, and I appreciate it."

The words stung Bo's heart and made her want to bite back. There was a brief but profound silence between them. Bo's heart sank. The selfish part of her felt like she'd lost Lauren possibly forever. She couldn't read the other woman as Lauren successfully blocked anything but her defensive anger from coming forth. "I really don't want to talk about this right now." She opened the door, indicating Bo should leave. "I just need to go back to work and be of some use."

Now, Bo was not only hurt, but also losing her patience, which she had little of to begin with. She was a woman who acted on things, not discussed them, and it was time to stop this dance and get the answers she needed despite Lauren's current state.

"Lauren, the attack today in the Dal happened because of a leak in our camp. Is there anything The Garuda may have learned about us through Nadia that he can use to his advantage?"

In a microsecond Lauren's anger was no longer defensive, but genuine. She had grown tired of Dyson constantly saying she was inconsistent and untrustworthy, and to now hear the same accusation from Bo after all they had been through cut her deeply. For Lauren, it was tantamount to Bo saying, "I still don't trust you."

Lauren drew her brows together and coldly responded, "Are you really asking me that?"

Bo was quick to answer, "Look, I know this is an incredibly painful time for you right now, but we are at war." Bo regretted the words before they escaped her lips. 'Damn you Ciara, for suggesting I do this, damn you for telling that the time for manners has past.'

Lauren's pain and fury surfaced with a vengeance. "Yeah you're right; it is an incredibly painful time for me right now." And for an instant she felt as if it didn't mean anything to Bo. The Ash's champion had a mission to accomplish, and in that moment softer emotions came second.

But much to Lauren's surprise, Bo looked down, and seemed slightly ashamed. "I'm sorry Lauren. I thought…"

"I just need to get ready, and I need to go."

Taking her cue, Bo walked toward the door giving Lauren and the room one parting glance. The doctor refused to make eye contact for more than a second, and though she felt Bo's expression pleading for her to look back, the determined woman held her resolve. If she looked back, she knew she would crumble. She could not, and would not let that happen.

Finally, Bo left, and Lauren shut the door. Her breath hitching as tears escaped her eyes yet again. She cried because she needed comfort, and instead of making her needs known to the one person she could reach out to, she pushed her away. She cried because she wanted to keep Bo at arm's length and hold her close at the same time. She cried because she wanted to see Bo without seeing what happened to Nadia.