Puck's about to get his badass on as he shows exactly how he's able to get so many women that already have boyfriends. Hopefully I've captured each of their essences. I'm trying. If you're reading any of my other stories, you're probably seeing many similarities. That's my head-canon! A lot of it is interchangeable & if you want to get your Sherlock on Holmes, you can try to guess what's coming up next in my other stories. Try if you dare…

NJPNJPNJP

Sam: POV

I saw the way Puck was looking at Mercedes. I'm pretty but I'm not dumb. All through the girls' performance, he had his eyes glued to her. He was supposed to be back with Santana but his eyes roved over my Mercy's figure.

Things got kinda dicey when we (& by we I mean Tina & myself) ran off Coach Beiste. We had to get her back so we sung our song to her. She forgave us thankfully. We just had to lay a hug on her. We were really sorry.

I was really sorry when I exited the choir room & saw Puck leaning towards Mercedes. She was looking at him like he was being weird so I know I can trust her. He, on the other hand, looked like he wanted to kiss her.

So I cockblocked the hell outta him. I spoke to my girl thus getting her attention & making her come to me. I smiled at how she lit up seeing me. I feel the same about her.

I took her to my house so that we could study but she could tell I was distracted. I wanted to know about her & Puck but I knew if I asked then asked the question I really wanted an answer to, she might think they were related & say no.

So I kept my big trap shut. But my girl could read me like a book anyway. "What's wrong, Sam?"

I looked up from my Spanish book & blinked. "Nothing."

"Yes, there is." She bit her lip. "Did I do something?"

"No! No! No!" I waved my hands. I didn't mean for her to think she did something wrong so I blurted out my question. "I wanted to ask you to be my girlfriend."

Her face brightened & my heart lifted. She was going to say yes. "Yeah, Sammy!" She nodded so hard, I thought her neck would snap.

I had to hug her then. It would have been physically impossible for me not to touch her. When I leaned in for a small kiss, my lips tingled. Her lips were so soft & light, I thought I was kissing a feather.

I didn't expect for it to go farther but when she deepened the kiss, I went all in. I swiped my tongue across her bottom lip & she opened her mouth for me. I wanted to celebrate but wanted to kiss more so we continued like that for a while.

We only took breaks to breathe & press kisses to other body parts but stayed around the mouth. Technically we were supposed to be studying & babysitting but this was just as important! Until Stacie got up wanting water... Completely killed the mood!

"Sure honey!" Mercedes got up & went to the kitchen to get her a glass.

I eyed Stacie. "What's up, pumpkin?"

She sat on my lap. "I like her. She's really pretty & she's nice to me."

I smiled. "I like her, too. & I just asked her to be my girlfriend."

Stacie's eyes got really big. "What did she say?!"

I laughed. She was too excited. "She said yes!"

Stacie screamed. Mercedes rushed from the kitchen. "What's going on?"

I laughed again. Stacie jumped from my lap & ran to hug Mercedes, who looked so lost. I took pity on her & said, "I just told her you said yes."

Relief raced across her features. "Oh. Ok. I don't know what I thought was happening in here!"

"What's going on?" Stevie wiped sleep from his eyes, irritated to be woken up.

"Mercy is Sammy's girlfriend!" Stacie shouted.

His eyes widened, too. "I wanted to ask you!"

Mercedes smiled, misunderstanding. "You were going to ask for Sam? That's so cute!"

He bit his lip in anger & stamped his foot. "I was gonna ask for me!"

Her smile left her face & she held out her arms to him. He raced to her & she hugged him. "I'm sorry, baby. I'm a little too old for you. If it weren't for Sammy, I'd totally wait for you."

"So Sam has to go away?" I could totally see him trying to kill me in my sleep but before anyone could say anything, my parents walked in the door.

"What are the kids still doing up, Sam?" My mom shook her head. It never occurred to her to blame Mercedes.

My dad came forward to peel my siblings from around my girlfriend. "It's okay, Mary. They can go now."

"Mercy is Sammy's girlfriend now!" Stacie repeated. "& Stevie's sad."

"Why?" My mom peered into his face to see he was indeed upset.

"He wanted to ask her but Sammy did first. She said if Sammy was gone, she'd wait for him cuz she's too old." Stacie had no problem relaying the information.

My parents burst out in laughter. "Welcome to the family, Mercedes. We apologize in advance!" They took my younger siblings upstairs to put them to bed again & Mercedes sat down beside me.

I wrapped my arm around her. "Still sayin yes?"

She giggled. "I like your family. I like you."

This girl was so awesome. I leaned in to kiss her but my dad cleared his throat. When did that man get so quiet?! "You should walk her to her car, son. Her curfew is soon."

Mercedes laughed as my face dropped. "Yes, sir. C'mon Mercy." I held my hand out for her & she packed away her things before accepting it.

"Goodnight Mr. E!" She waved with her free hand.

"Night little lady!" He tipped an imaginary hat & spoke with an exaggerated drawl.

She giggled & I scowled. She had told me how much she liked my accent but I thought she was just butterin me up until my dad first spoke to her & she melted. I stayed mad at him the whole day. Now he tries to be as obvious with it as possible to make me mad.

"Let's go. Don't want you to be late." I spoke to her but I side-eyed him. He simply grinned, the cur. I led her to her car outside & opened the door for her.

"Thank you!"

"You're welcome." I shut the door as she placed her stuff on the passenger seat. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow." She leaned out the window to kiss me softly, shyly.

I had the best girlfriend ever. I deepened the kiss until we got dizzy. We only stopped because her phone started to ring.

She answered it. "Hi Daddy. Yes, Daddy. Ok Daddy. I'm leaving now, Daddy. Bye Daddy." She hung up. "That was Daddy."

"I figured. He wants you home?"

"Yup." She nodded before kissing me chastely again. "See you tomorrow, Sammy."

"Tomorrow, Mercy." I watched as she pulled off & fist pumped the air as soon as I couldn't see her car anymore. My life rocked.

S&M&P

Mercedes: POV

Leaving Sam was the hardest thing to do at that moment but I knew Daddy meant business. I also knew I'd have to tell him that we were serious. I was not looking forward to going home!

After pulling into the driveway, I grabbed my stuff & headed to the front door. I wondered briefly if maybe I could sneak in. Those hopes were dashed the moment I opened the door & saw Daddy standing there with his arms folded.

"Hi Daddy."

"What took you so long, Princess?" Daddy cut straight to the chase.

"I- we- uh…" I had nothing to say so I hung my head.

"Awwww Princess!" Daddy gathered me in his arms like he thought I was crying. So I gave a couple sobs & he rubbed my shoulders. "Don't cry! I just want you safe, Princess! I'm not mad."

"I'm sorry Daddy." I actually meant that. I never meant to miss curfew or worry him. "His brother & sister woke up."

He nodded & his chin scraped my head. "You had to put them back to bed?"

I wanted to lie. I really did but I'm not good at it & I couldn't lie to him anymore than I could stop breathing. "His parents did."

"Oh his parents came back?" Daddy's voice sounded strange so I broke his grasp to peer at him.

"Yes."

"Well I'll bet you're sleepy." He hit my shoulder in affection. Weirdo! "Have a good night, Princess!"

I went upstairs thinking about how much of a screwball my father was. I got ready for bed quickly & stood in the middle of my room for a moment, completely stunned. I had a boyfriend. A real honest to goodness, honest & good boyfriend!

I jumped on my bed & kicked my feet & screamed into my pillow like every teenaged girl in movies from the 80s & 90s. I was interrupted by my mom moments later. Any second earlier & she would have seen my victory dance.

"Honey?" She knocked before entering anyway.

"Hi Momma!"

She took in my grin & flung open the door. "You have great news! Spill!"

& this was why I loved my mom. She's the best friend a daughter could want while still being a mom. We shopped, we talked, we cooked & she gave the best advice. She was also the best listener.

"Sam asked me to be his girlfriend!" I squealed as I pressed my hands to my mouth so Daddy couldn't hear.

Momma's eyes widened & she looked around (to check for Daddy?) before doing her own victory dance. "I knew it!"

I giggled. Told you she was a fool... "His sister & parents were happy."

"What about Stevie?" Momma's face dropped. She had only met the kids once but she grew attached in seconds & vice versa.

"He said he wanted to ask me first but Sam beat him to the punch." I pouted. "I told him I was too old for him."

"He'll be okay." Momma assured me.

I frowned. "Puck's home."

"Why aren't you happier?" Momma sat beside me.

I shrugged. "I am but I was so worried about him. He seemed a little hard yesterday & today. It kinda freaked me out."

"Honey, he was incarcerated. It's bound to leave some scars." Momma brushed my hair from my face. "Just give Noah a little time. He'll be fine."

"Yeah. He is a fighter." I brightened. "I feel so blessed! I have my friends & my family & my boyfriend." I blushed at that last part.

Momma pinched my chin. "& you've got school in the morning. Take your blessed tail to sleep!"

"Yes, Momma!" I leaned over & pulled the covers around me.

She kissed me goodnight & left.

I don't care what she said; I'm blessed.

S&M&P

Puck: POV

First rule of stealing another guy's girl: be subtle.

I took this to heart as I strode into school the next day. I waved to my friends, jumped at nerds & walked straight past Mama as she stood by her locker.

"Puck!" I knew she hated being ignored & shamelessly used that fact to my advantage. "Puck!"

I swung on my heel. "Yes?"

"Aren't you gonna speak to me?!" She put her hand on that delicious hip of hers.

"Hey Mama." I swung around again & continued to the next hall, whistling a jaunty tune.

I grinned to myself at what I knew to be showing on her face; shock.

S&M&P

Sam: POV

I reached my lady's locker the next day happy as could be. She didn't look the same. I snapped my fingers in front of her dazed face & she shook herself.

"Mercy, what's wrong?" I wrapped my arms around her waist & rested my chin on her shoulder.

"Nothing." She frowned. "Just Puck."

"Puck what?" I kept my voice level as I tried not to spaz out on her.

"He seems different today."

"Different how?"

She shrugged & my face burrowed into her neck. I know I was mad but I couldn't complain. Puck who?

S&M&P

Mercedes: POV

I know I shouldn't let Puck get to me. I was still mad at him. Juvie is serious business dammit! But when he didn't speak to me, I'll admit my feelings were hurt. When he acknowledged me like I was some random chick, it cut deep. I thought we were tighter than that.

I was still reeling by the time Sam caught up to me. I shook it off after because my boo was all in my personal space & it made me a little hot.

I turned in his arms. "How did things go after I left?"

He blinked at me. I probably changed the subject too fast for him. "Ok. Dad gave me the talk about respecting you & stuff. Mom told me that she'd skin me if I got you pregnant." He shrugged like it was no big deal.

My jaw dropped. "They said that?!" I can't believe his parents think so much of me! I can't believe they think we'll be having sex!

He nodded. "Dad said he'd pick up some condoms for me today."

I snapped my mouth shut. "Oh you're joking!"

He cocked his head at me before a lopsided grin took over his face. "No, I'm not. But don't worry; we won't do anything you're not ready for. I promise."

I grinned, too but I felt like laughing in his face. I never had a real boyfriend but I wasn't a virgin. I didn't know if I should tell him that though. "I trust you."

"Walk you to class?" He reached for my hand.

I nodded. He didn't need to know.

S&M&P

Puck: POV

Second rule of stealing another guy's girl: let her see you.

That one was easy. Mama saw me all the time. Like not in class or anything. Cuz she's in all those smart classes & I skip way too much for that.

No, she saw me in other ways. She saw Noah. Too bad for her Noah liked getting laid as much as Puck.

S&M&P

Mercedes: POV

I hated being so short! I can't reach anything! I was struggling for a book on the top shelf of the library when a hard hot body pressed against my back & grabbed it.

I was about to go off until I realized it was Puck. "Puck? What are you doing?"

"You looked like you needed a little help." His lips were right against my ear. His arms created a tight cocoon around me that emanated heat.

"I could have reached it." I snapped. Actually I was glad it was him & not someone else. Puck knew how I felt about my height. It wasn't surprising that he just grabbed the book for me. He was sweet like that.

Wait! What?! This was Puck. Noah Abraham Puckerman. He wasn't sweet. He was bad! So very bad.

I shook myself & turned in his arms. "Thank you. I think I would have gotten it eventually but thank you anyway."

"No problem, Mama." He gazed into my eyes for what seemed like forever before reeling back, handing me the book & sauntering off.

It completely shook me up.

S&M&P

All damn day long, I spied Puck. I mean not in any classes mind you but everywhere else. He lurked in the halls. He leaned against lockers. He held open doors. He stared.

Yes, that sounds stupid but he did! He stared at me so hard; I thought the meaning to life was etched into my skin!

I couldn't even call him on it cuz he'd done nothing wrong. He'd been the perfect gentleman. Maybe that was my problem. Puck was never perfect nor a gentleman. I didn't know if I was going crazy but something was off.

Being paranoid I went to see Santana. We had gotten closer this year so far & felt she was the one to talk to.

"Hey Satan!" I called after the Cheerio.

Her ponytail swished as she turned on her heel. "Wheezy."

"I wanted to ask you about Puck. Is he different to you?"

She shrugged. "Still hot so I don't care."

I gave her a look. "I'm being serious. He's just… different. Maybe juvie was harder than he's letting on."

"You'll have to talk to him." She shrugged again before turning around. "But make sure you use small words."

I made a face at her retreating back before sighing. The devil was right. To get the answers I wanted, I had to get them straight from the source.

Now where to find him was the question.

S&M&P

Puck: POV

Third rule of stealing another guy's girl: when she sees you, disappear.

That would work especially well on Mama since she hated to be ignored. She'd be hunting me down.

& how right I was! The whole day after the scene in the library, she'd been trying to track me down. But I always managed to stay two steps ahead of her.

By the time glee rolled around, her eye began to twitch. It wasn't noticeable. It just looked like she was winking every so often. But I knew though.

After rehearsals, I split like I had to piss or something. I peeled out of the parking lot before she even got to it. I laughed at the sight of her in my rear view mirror, pissed as hell.

I went home but left quickly after that. Nic was at a friend's & moms was working late. That meant I could leave & Mama, who'd no doubt be driving over here to give me a piece of her mind, couldn't catch up to me.

I called up some random cheerleader & went to have dinner. I made sure to turn my phone off & stayed out until ten. Then I dragged my ass home & went to bed.

The next morning I swept through McKinley much like the day before. I almost faltered when I saw Mama's angry face but I strode right past her, whistling.

"Puck!"

I spun around. "Mama." I walked off cool as a cucumber.

I knew it was getting to her but I was proud of her. She took my crap for a whole week.

On Wednesdays, I have football practice. That next Wednesday, I had Mercedes Jones grabbing me by my shirt & dragging me to a janitor's closet.

Once the door slammed behind me, she shoved me against it. "Problem?"

She gritted her teeth & snatched on the light so hard, the chain swished around us for a while. Her gaze never left mine. "What are you doing Puck?!"

Think of any scenarios you want Puck to come up with to try to get with Mercy under Sam's nose.