Disclaimers: As much as I may want to claim ownership of this famous series, I can't because Harry Potter belongs to a whole lot of different companies that I can't remember the names of at the moment. Any characters that appear in this fic that is not a part of the original series, belong to me so don't take them without asking first.

Word Count: 785

Marriage Law Rejection Letters
Letter #2
By: Sakura Lisel
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To The Morons of the British Ministry of Magic,

Of all the idiotic, moronic things the bloody ministry has done in its life, this takes the cake. I don't know how you managed to track me down after all these years, but I'm writing to tell you that you can take your marriage law and shove it where the sun doesn't shine, because I'm not coming back to England to take part of it.

Didn't all of you get the memo six years ago, or are all of you desperately in denial in trying to get me to come back to all of you? I guess I need to have to remind you people that I bloody LEFT your stupid society after I beat Lord Voldemort? I didn't say any goodbyes to my friends or loved ones, not that I had anyone left worth saying goodbye to after the final battle to begin with, or even tell them where I was going for a good reason. I want no part of you people or any of your backwater laws that you happen to make over in England.

In the six years I have been gone, I've started a brand new life outside of the UK, and happen to like where I am, yet you jerks seem to think that just because you created this marriage law and send an announcement to me practically demanding that I return so I can marry someone you people in the ministry personally handpicked out for me? Well I say screw that.

As far as I'm concerned, I renounced all ties to Britain and its magical world the day I left it all behind, and any laws made over there have nothing to do with me anymore since I don't consider myself a citizen of my former homeland anymore, so your lame ass laws do not involve me in any way what so ever as far as I'm concerned.

Though if you people still think you can try and hunt me down and drag me back there whether I want to or not, to obey your stupid law or not, and force me to marry someone I don't want, I would like all of you to take a good, long look at the enclosed copies of my MARRIAGE DOCUMENTS, that clearly show that I am ALREADY legally married, and have been for the last three and a half years, so I am ineligible for your stupid law anyways since my current marriage exceeds your recently created law.

I LOVE my current wife, Hope C. Potter nee Spellbinder, and I wouldn't give her up for anything in the world. I don't care if some ancient magic's you claim to have used for your law to find me my perfect match have paired me up with somebody else. As far as I'm concerned I've already found my perfect match on my own, and I won't give her up for anybody and certainly not for a stupid law, and neither will she, and we don't share, so I advise you to redo whatever spell you cast and find whoever my would be bride is a new groom because I will never be available to marry her no matter what anyone says.

So I wish everyone in the British isles good luck in finding people willing to obey your stupid law without a fight, and to stop bothering me, because I will never come back for any reason, and if any aurors still have the nerve to show up, I swear that I will return them to you people cut up into pieces in body bags curtesy of my wife's handiwork.

Sincerely Yours,
Harry James Potter
Former Resident of the British Magic World

(At the bottom of the letter is hand sketched enchanted drawing of what appears to be Harry Potter dressed in muggle clothes and giving the readers of his letter the finger over and over again.)

Author's Notes: Can anybody guess who Hope C. Spellbinder is? She's a well-known animated villainous character. Though her Middle names initial and 'Last' name should hopefully be helpful clues. lol I'm almost tempted to do a story about these two for real...