It has been five days since the very revealing dinner, and Lance still hasn't talked to Shiro. They've just been flying around in space, not taking any breaks. Everyone has been growing restless. Although, Hunk's treats have been cheering everyone up a bit. Even Keith cracked a smile whenever he saw Cosmo deliver the food. Finally, Lance sees a planet up ahead. It has a reddish hue with some bluish areas in several places.
"Hey, guys! There's a planet up ahead. Maybe we should stop by and rest," Lance says, hoping they'll agree.
"Sounds like a plan," Keith says, already leading the others towards the planet. Lance smiles and follows.
They land in a few minutes, and Lance realizes that this is the perfect opportunity for him to talk to Shiro in private. He couldn't talk to him through the lions without someone overhearing, but this was his chance.
They all step down and begin to start a fire. This planet seems to be uninhabited, so they'll just have to make do with what they can. Keith and Krolia leave to scout out the area with Cosmo, searching for any threats. Like mother, like son. Hunk instead looks for anything edible that he can somehow cook. Pidge opts to play her video game now that she doesn't have anyone else crowding inside her lion. Romelle, Allura, and Coran try to coax Kaltenecker and the mice out of the blue lion. Lance is finally alone with Shiro, so he asks if they can talk. Shiro nods and they walk to sit down on a big rock nearby.
"Everything okay, Lance?" he asks, sitting down first. Lance follows suit, his nerves getting worse than before.
Lance looks down at the ground, unsure he can look Shiro in the eyes when he says what he wants to say. "Well, in general, a lot of things aren't okay. We've almost died like a thousand times, and you were stuck in the astral plane, and I couldn't help you, which I blame myself for. You tried to reach out to me, but I didn't realize it. Now, I'm rambling, and this wasn't even what I was originally going to talk about. Man, I'm a mess."
Lance can't believe he said all that. That wasn't even what he wanted to say! How the fuck did he go from trying to come out to revealing all of his guilt? It's not like anything he said was untrue, but that wasn't what he wanted to tell him. Shiro hasn't said anything, worrying Lance.
Finally, Shiro clears his throat. "Lance. Can you look at me?"
Lance looks up, feeling the tears building up. All of the bad emotions he has been pushing down were coming up, and he hates it. Shiro frowns and says, "Lance, I don't blame you at all."
Relief washes over him, and he finally lets the tears go. He cries quietly as Shiro rubs his back comfortingly. He is so grateful that the others aren't there. He does not want them seeing him so vulnerable. Lance grabs onto Shiro's arm, and Shiro pulls him in for a hug.
"It's not your fault," he whispers. His hug is so warm and comforting. It reminds Lance of the hugs his parents would give him, causing him to cling tighter to Shiro. Eventually, his tears cease, causing him to sniffle.
He pulls away from Shiro, wiping his eyes. "Sorry," he mutters.
Shiro shakes his head. "Lance, don't worry about it. You can always come to me, whether it's to talk about something happy or sad."
Lance nods, looking back down at the ground again. He got those feelings off his chest, but now he needs to get his other feelings off his chest. Shiro puts his arm on Lance's shoulder, and says "Now, what was the other thing you wanted to talk to me about?"
Lance shifted and glanced up at Shiro. "I wanted to talk to you about, well, i-it's about something you said the other night."
Shiro furrows his brow, obviously wondering what Lance was referring to. Then, his eyes widen, and he starts to look a little nervous. He wipes the nervous look off his face, and says, "You wanted to talk to me about Adam."
Lance nods, rushing to say, "Nothing bad! It's just that, well, I wanted to know …when did you…"
"When did I know I liked guys?" Shiro asks.
"Yeah. Recently, I've been feeling things about someone that I had never thought I would feel about them. It's not even just his gender. It's also the fact that I never thought we'd be compatible. I mean, this guy has always annoyed me with his emo boy attitude and that stupid mullet and stupid smirk of his when he wins in battle. But now—"
"Now, you're starting to like Keith?"
Lance's eyes widen, and he whips his head towards Shiro. "What? How'd you know?"
"Emo boy attitude? Stupid mullet? There's not a lot of guys you can fall for out here in space, Lance" Shiro says.
Lance blushes. "Okay, yeah. I …I like Keith. I've never liked a guy before, and just a couple months ago, I was totally crazy about Allura. I'm so confused."
Shiro sighs. "I know how you feel. When I was younger, I didn't know how to feel. I would develop crushes on male space pilots when all the other guys at the Garrison would crush on the female space pilots. I thought I was weird for feeling like that, but I wasn't. It was how I felt, and this is how you felt. Just because you like guys too does not make you any different. It just means that your capacity for love is for two genders instead of one. We attracted to the people we're attracted to, and others just need to accept it. But the most important person who needs to accept it is yourself."
"Thanks, Shiro. I, well, I don't know. I don't think I can ever tell Keith how I feel. He obviously doesn't like me like that. No one ever has. Not even Allura. She always pushed me away whenever I'd flirt. I started thinking that she might like me back, but then I saw he falling for Lotor. He was the son of the alien who destroyed her planet, and she still chose him over me. I-I just don't want to deal with heartbreak anymore," Lance says, tearing up. He hates how he's been crying so much. He tries so hard to hide his insecurities, and this was a lot more info than he had planned on giving Shiro.
He quickly wipes away his tears as Shiro says, "Lance, I'm sorry that Allura couldn't see the wonderful person you are. I know how much heartbreak sucks, which is why I won't tell you to go and confess to Keith right this minute. But, I think that with time, you will be able to tell him how you feel."
"How did you do it? How did you confess to the first guy you liked?" Lance asks curiously.
Shiro does something Lance never thought he'd see. He blushes. "Well, if I'm being honest, I've never been that smooth with guys. The first guy I ever liked was straight too, which made it worse. He was so confused about why I was stuttering so much when trying to ask him about. I had to try several times before he realized that I was asking him out, which led to him telling me that he was straight. Then came the awkward silence, which led to me saying that I had to go and running away as fast as I could."
"Wow, that sounds rough. How old were you? Twelve?"
"Fifteen."
"Oh."
Shiro's blush gets darker. "Yeah, I had a crush on him for two years when I finally confessed. You'd think I would've asked around to see if he even liked guys. After waiting for so long, I decided to just go for it."
Lance frowns. "Is Keith into guys?"
"He's never talked to me about it. Then again, he's not one who likes to talk about his feelings. Although, he did complain a lot about this guy named Taylor back at the Garrison. The guy annoyed him so much with his competitiveness that he refused to acknowledge him. Maybe he just didn't want to talk to him since he also liked him?"
"There wasn't a guy named Taylor in our class," Lance says, wondering who the hell Keith must have been talking about.
"Well, that's what he used to tell me. The point is, he never liked talking about his crushes. He preferred racing over sharing feelings. But I still think that maybe you two could work out."
Lance thinks about what Shiro said, and asks, "Whatever happened with you and that guy? Did you ever become friends again?"
"After some time, we did. "Besides, he introduced me to Adam. The person who rejected me lead me to the love of my life."
Lance looks at where the blue lion was, seeing Allura talking to the mice. She didn't flat out reject him, but she might as well have. It hurt as much as a rejection did. But if she hadn't, would he be feeling the way he does about Keith?
"I'll tell him one day, but definitely not now," Lance says, smiling a bit when he sees Keith coming back with Krolia and Cosmo.
Shiro smiles at him. "I'm honored that you came to talk to me, Lance. I really think that we're all a family. I guess you could say I'm the space …uncle."
Lance laughs. "Oh, please. Shiro, everyone knows you're the Space Dad. Just accept it."
Shiro rolls his eyes, "Whatever. You ready to head back to the others?"
Lance nods, and the two walk over where everyone else has gathered. The fire blazes, casting off light that illuminates Keith's face. Lance blushes for noticing this.
"Okay, everyone, enjoy," Hunk says, setting out the food for everyone.
Everyone digs in, laughing and talking. They don't always get to just spend time together like this, so Lance really treasures the moments they do. For once, nothing was coming to kill them, and Lance is free to sneak glances at Keith all he wants. What he doesn't know is that Keith sneaks glances at him when he's not looking too.
