Alrighty, here we go again! The boys are trying to get a bit serious in this chapter, but luckily a little touch of fluff will heal it.

Chapter 2

Some weeks later Rude came from his room, ready for work, to find Reno sitting in the kitchen reading a newspaper. The redhead was still eating breakfast, but it was alright since they were both early for once and there was no hurry. Having eaten the bread, Reno wandered to the bathroom to fix his hair, leaving his coffee to cool on the table. Feeling slightly guilty, Rude took a small mini-grip plastic bag from his pocket and emptied half of it into Reno's coffee cup. He was just stirring it with a spoon when the redhead returned.

"Yo, what're you doing? That's my coffee, make another for yourself if you want it."

Rude shrugged slightly and gave the cup to his partner. "You had forgotten the sugar," he replied simply.

"Oh?" Reno looked into the cup, blinking. "... How could you tell?"

Rude smiled slightly. "Intuition."

Fifteen minutes later they were in a car on their way to Midgar, and Reno was feeling terribly sick.

"My stomach hurts," he complained.

"You probably just ate too quickly."

Reno looked doubtful, but didn't say anything. Some minutes later he had to double over, one arm wrapped around his middle and a hand covering his mouth. "Rude, man, I really don't feel so good..."

Rude took a glance at him and frowned. "Tseng will crucify you if you throw up in this car."

"I know," the redhead moaned, feeling cold sweat gather on his forehead. "I'm really fucking sick, okay? Gotta get outta here..."

The other Turk turned his eyes back to the road. Just as they had calculated, they were very close to Seventh Heaven. "We'll get to Tifa's bar in a couple of minutes. Can you hang on until then?"

Reno let out a weird noise that was supposed to sound like "yeah" but came out as "yennghh".

--

The following day found Reno in the Shinra Hospital. He had stayed in Seventh Heaven, way too sick to go to work, and even though he had been fine most of the day, Tifa had asked him to stay the night, "just to be sure". The next morning was as bad as the one before it, and around midday the mere smell of Tifa's fried eggs was enough to send Reno running to the bathroom with a hand covering his mouth.

Apparently worried because Reno rarely got sick, Tifa and Yuffie took him to the hospital, where Reno's usual doctor – well known by Rude and well paid by Rufus – was the one to inspect him.

"I sure hope it's nothing serious," the redhead muttered as he waited for the results, sitting on his hospital bed. Rude, Tifa, Yuffie, Denzel and Marlene were in the room with him. "I'm all fine now, I could go to work. Just sitting in one place is killing me, yo..."

Just then doctor Davis entered the room, and they all turned to look at him. The man bore a very serious expression, and Reno felt his already uneasy stomach tie itself into a tight knot.

"Reno," the doctor said in a grave voice. "You are in a very, very rare and strange condition, and you'll probably be shocked to hear this. This might also be something that you don't want your friends to hear about – yet. If you want to, you may send them out before I tell you more."

Davis looked expectantly at him, but Reno just shrugged, although feeling worried. "They'll end up knowing anyway... Or at least Rude will, and he tells anything Tifa wants to know, and then she'll tell Yuffie, and then everyone will know. Though..." He took a hesitant glance at Denzel and Marlene. "Do you think the kids should go out?"

The doctor opened his mouth, but Denzel stepped forward and grabbed a handful of Reno's shirt. "No! We're your friends too, we have the right to know!" he announced with determination.

Marlene followed his example with more glossy eyes. "Oh Mr Reno! Are you gonna die?" she wailed, clutching his hand as if to keep him from going. "I don't want you to die! You can't, you promised to do the fireworks next new year!"

Reno looked at the doctor and shrugged again as if to say that apparently they were all going to stay. Davis coughed, turning everybody's attention back to him. "Reno is not going to die," he told the kids. "He's not sick. He's pregnant."

Reno's mouth fell open. Denzel and Marlene blinked in confusion; Tifa gasped, Rude started and Yuffie's eyes widened, all the three of them trying to look surprised and both amazed and terrified (Yuffie failed and let out a tiny giggle, but luckily no one heard it).

Then Reno laughed. It was a nervous, hysterical little laughter. "I get it," he grinned manically. "A funny joke. Right. I deserved that. Very funny. Ha ha. A joke."

The doctor shook his head and handed him a pregnancy test. "I'm afraid it's not a joke, old friend. I don't know how exactly it's possible, but I suppose it's because of the mutations that mako causes in human body. You have been given some mako in the past, as you know."

Reno took the test and looked at it. "Is this mine?" he had to ask. The doctor nodded. "But... it's... positive."

"Yes." Davis nodded again. "You are, undeniably, very much pregnant."

The redhead stared at him for a moment with a look of pure horror, then glanced at his friends as if to see if any of them was laughing and telling him that Cloud had somehow arranged this to avenge all his pranks. Then he fainted.

--

"Cloud! Get to the Shinra Hospital, quick! I know you hate that place but this is really important – it's about Reno."

Cloud pondered about the message Tifa had left in his answering machine as he sped trough Midgar to an old hotel building that had recently been bought and turned into a shiny new public hospital by Rufus Shinra. What could this be about? Sure, the Turk could have been hurt on a mission, but Cloud didn't get why it was so important for him to go there. They weren't trying to kill each other anymore and sometimes they actually found themselves spending time together, drinking or just enjoying the rush of adrenaline that driving on Fenrir caused, but they weren't exactly close. Right now they weren't even on speaking terms because of Reno's pranks and an unforgivable event that had included them both waking up in Cloud's bed (the redhead still claimed that he knew nothing of it, though).

The nurse in the hall pointed him the Shinra wing where the Turks were taken, and another nurse took him to Reno's door, adding reproachingly that he couldn't march into the room with muddy boots and a huge sword. After leaving the sword and his boots in a locker, Cloud was allowed in.

Reno was lying on the bed, staring apathetically at the white curtains, looking very pale and unmoving. Denzel and Marlene were sitting next to him, trying to get him to talk; Rude was speaking with a white-coated doctor in the corner with Yuffie listening intently, and Tifa was the one who noticed him first.

"Oh, Cloud, you came!" she exclaimed, stopping her nervous pacing and stepping closer to him, glancing over her shoulder to see if anyone else had noticed. "Cloud, this is all very strange, and you're not going to believe this at first -," she started, lowering her voice.

"Why did you tell me to come here?" the blonde asked. "He seems to be fine and in any case, I don't see how it concerns me whether he's hurt or not."

"Well..." She looked very worried, taking another glance at Reno, who was still apparently trying to win a staring contest against the curtain. "This concerns you a lot, actually. You see... oh, this is going to be so difficult... remember when you woke up next to him?"

Cloud nodded darkly, then stopped. "Wait – he's not HIV-positive, is he?" They had decided together that absolutely nothing funny had happened between their last memory of the night before and the morning, but there was always a possibility...

"What?" Tifa looked taken aback. "No! Nothing like that! Or, well, something like that, actually." She took a deep breath. "Cloud, he's pregnant. With your child."

The blonde ex-mercenary just stared at his friend. He couldn't think of any reason for her to lie to him, but it just couldn't be true. The redhead had fooled her somehow, maybe paid that doctor to lie to her...

Reno blinked, suddenly realizing the conversation that took place next to the door, and slowly turning his head towards them. Cloud answered his gaze with confusion and anger.

"I'm leaving," the delivery boy muttered, then. "I already told you I'm fed up with your pranks, Reno." And he opened the door and left to go get his sword and boots.

Tifa and her friends glanced at each other. Why had no one thought of this? Why hadn't anyone realized that Cloud was too used to Reno's jokes to buy this one?

Then Reno suddenly saved them by jumping up and running after the blonde, yelling, "CLOUD STRIFE! You get your ass back here right this second!"

The redhead caught him at the lockers in the hall. Cloud turned to glare coldly at him as he strapped the sword to his back. "I have put up with your stupid ideas for long enough," he said. "Can't you just leave me alone? Anyway, this is just far too weird even for one of your jokes..."

"It's not a fucking joke, Cloud!" the Turk practically screamed, not giving a second thought to all the nurses, doctors and patients in the hall. "Damn, I might be sick and twisted but even I wouldn't claim anything like this for fun! Fuck you, Strife, you got me knocked up so you're sure as hell gonna suffer the consequences as well!"

Cloud slammed the locker door closed. "Why don't you scream it out once more? I don't think the people in the next floor heard you yet," he hissed. "People will think you're actually telling the truth!"

"I am!" Reno's voice hitched and his eyes started to look slightly glossy. "The doctor said it's because of mako!"

Cloud opened his mouth to argue, but he couldn't deny that mako could have some pretty weird effects on people, and since he was very much mako infected and Reno had once gotten small dozes as well... "Well, it's just not -," he started, then looked at the Turk. "Wait, are you crying?"

"No!" Reno wiped his eyes with a furious movement, but then the tears started to flow again. "What the hell am I gonna do, Cloud?" the Turk wailed. "I don't wanna give birth! I don't want kids, I can't even take care of myself! And everyone hates me already, what do you think they'll say when they find out I'm pregnant with another guy's kid!"

"Well, I think you just told that to half of Midgar," Cloud muttered. "And the rest will know tomorrow." But as he looked at the trembling and rather distraught redhead who was clutching his stomach as if not knowing whether to be protective or terrified, he couldn't remain angry. The Turk clearly believed this and so had every reason to be shocked; and if Reno believed this, it couldn't be one of his pranks.

Sighing, Cloud placed his hands on the other man's thin shoulders, trying to calm him down. "Alright, Reno. Can you... can you swear it's mine?"

The redhead nodded frantically. "Has to be! Haven't been with any other guy for years, so you're the only option."

Heaving another sigh, Cloud pulled the still trembling Turk closer and wrapped his arms around him in a soothing manner. "Well, then I suppose I'm responsible for this. Okay then, I'll help you. We'll get trough this together."

Reno seemed to swallow his tears, looking honestly surprised – but happy. "Really?" he asked, sounding rather insecure and even childish. Then he shot a death glare at all the people in the hall that were looking at them, some looking horrified and some awed. "What're you people starin' at?!" he snapped. "Mind your own business! Never seen two guys hugging before or what? Geez! The manners these days!"

Rude, Tifa, Yuffie and doctor Davis were looking at the scene from Reno's door. They had calculated that they could fool their poor victims for a week or two, but now the redhead had turned this into a public matter. Tifa wasn't sure if she should feel guilty because of the mess this would cause, or delighted at the way they were digging their own grave without even noticing it.

Either way, she had to agree with Yuffie: it was hilarious!

To be continued!

Please let me know what you thought. :3

CEED: Thanks, and sorry to disappoint you with Reno getting to be the one who's "pregnant". :D I personally thought it would fit him better, and I also figured that if Tifa & Co were going to make our poor guys' big egos suffer, the thought of nine months' boredom and playing nice would get on Reno's nerves more than on Cloud's... Or something, I'm really tired so I don't really have a clue of what I'm saying... XDD Anyways, thanks for your comment and I hope you keep reading even though things didn't go like you would've preferred!

Rin-chan101093: Omg what an easy-to-remember nick you have there... XD Thanks for your review!

BekasStrife: !! I'm a huge fan of your fics (and yes, I know I've never commented on them... shame on me...), so getting that review from you put a really big smile on my face for the rest of the day! Thanks! :D

BeckyHerself.: Thanks! Hope you still liked it :'D

NicotineGum: Thanks for your review! And sorry I'm not a quicker updater... :D