Dear readers, if you should have any questions about this story and concerns about reading it, feel free to message me.
I hope you'll enjoy taking this journey with me!
Blaine should probably be more careful with his money until he's received his first paycheck in his new job. But he's tired from travelling across the country, from not sleeping enough, from stressing with the preparations before this move. Hauling too much luggage on the subway and through unfamiliar streets to find his new apartment doesn't even remotely appeal to him. So he splurges on a taxi. He's not the only one with that exact thought, but it isn't too long to wait for one of the yellow vehicles. The driver mutters at the sight of Blaine's excessive amount of luggage, but Blaine helps him load the trunk – after securing his guitar in the passenger seat, and the box of original gramophone records in the backseat next to him. A truck with his furniture and boxes is on its way, but some things he treasure too much to leave in the hands of movers. And the truck isn't expected until Friday afternoon, so he had to pack enough to survive almost four days in his new home – a home with bare floors, walls and rooms. Hopefully, the toiletries, clothes, sleeping bag and minimum of kitchen utensils he packed will get him through these days. That, and lots of take away, he expects.
He should have arrived in the city no later than yesterday, to get ready for his first day in his new job – which was today. But Coach Beiste's wedding in Lima delayed him. Fortunately, his boss was understanding, and gave him some extra time to finish packing and settle down. Tomorrow morning he has to meet in the theatre, though, and he can't wait to begin this new adventure. He's so eager, he wouldn't have minded meeting up after lunch today. But the director had told him to take the entire day off, claiming he'd need it. According to Google maps, Blaine could get from LaGuardia to the theater within half an hour, and he said so to the director, along with his flight information. But the man had simply laughed, and told him he'd learn soon enough.
Blaine might be beginning to learn. He checks his pocket watch to compare with the meter, if it is fixed. But no, he's been in the taxi for more than 40 minutes, and they haven't even crossed the river yet.
He sighs, and slumps down in the seat, sending off a quick text. There's an endless to do-list in his messenger bag, and he should probably start working on it. But he isn't ready to begin managing his new life from the backseat of a taxi. He might have to get used to taking advantage of his downtime later, as he expects taking part in a brand new production will be time consuming. But today he wants to take his time and take in new impressions. He wants to create memories today, he wants to remember arriving New York as something more than a blurred backdrop for rushed phone calls, texting and online research. Also, some things deserve more than a static conversation with a Mexican eavesdropper.
He can't stop thinking about Kurt, though, despite of the excitement of this move. Waking up with him in his arms on Sunday had been surreal, and in between showers, a farewell-blowjob and breakfast, it hadn't been any time to talk. Blaine had wanted to sit down with him and find back to the great conversations they used to share. Blaine had wanted to sit down and learn more about Kurt's current life, and to tell him his own good news. But there hadn't been any time, and it wasn't something he wanted to spring on Kurt like a rushed surprise. He wanted to tell him properly. So Kurt doesn't know that Blaine is moving to New York. It's with purpose that Blaine hasn't mentioned it on Facebook yet. He didn't want Kurt to find out that way, on the off chance he should log on after years of absence, or the risk of someone else telling Kurt. And he honestly thought they'd have time to talk during the wedding, and then he could make the announcement through his social medias. After all, something isn't true until it's written on Facebook...
Maybe it had been for the best. Throughout the 48 hours since they went separate ways, Blaine hasn't been able to stop thinking about Kurt. Not that there's anything new or strange to that. Being with Kurt like that always does something to Blaine. It reignites the love he wasted, it reminds him of everything he used to feel about this young man. It's not a secret that Blaine never managed to move completely on, that he never got over Kurt, that he still daydreams about earning his forgiveness and a second chance. And Kurt may have been an important factor when deciding to say yes to this role in New York.
But that's not what has been featured most prominently on his brain these last two days. No, Blaine can't let go of the thought that something was very, very off with Kurt. He likes to believe that he knows the man, body and soul, although admittedly more body than soul for the last five years. Something wasn't as it used to be, and the more he thinks about it, the more he's sure of it. And he needs to tell Kurt, in case he isn't aware. But Blaine has no idea how to approach something sensitive like that.
Finally, the taxi stops by a tall apartment building. Blaine hands the driver his credit card, glad he managed to save up some money from the various gigs and minor parts he got while studying, and not spend everything on rent, food and life. Of course, living with Cooper reduced some of his costs, and rooming with an actor gave him slightly better intel on auditions and available parts. Blaine had tried to embrace as many options as possible, at least as long as they seemed ideal for his resume and experience. Some parts caused more expenses than income, he learned that acting against his brother was something he'd avoid like the plague, and pretending to have sex with a man was much more awkward than pretending to have sex with a woman because the latter felt so obviously like acting and the former so much more personal.
Ready for his new life in New York, he steps out of the cab. He looks to the skyline, and smiles. It's four years later than initially planned, but he's here now.
"Welcome to New York, man!" a familiar voice greets him, and a young man steps out from leaning against the wall.
"Sam!" Blaine exclaims, and engulfs him in a tight hug. "I'm so sorry it took longer than expected, have you been waiting long?"
"No worries. It's New York, you'll get used to it," he grins. "Let's get your shit to your new home," he adds, nodding at the impatient driver tapping the truck lid unsubtly. Blaine smiles apologetically to the man, and starts hauling out his two suitcases, brimming bag, wooden box of gramophone records and guitar.
Together, Sam and Blaine get everything inside the building. Fortunately, there's an elevator, so they don't have to take the stairs all the way to seventh floor.
"Thank you for helping me. And for not telling Mercedes."
"Hey, you're my bro, okay? I'm sure she'll understand."
Blaine's isn't as convinced, but he's still grateful that Sam agreed to keep quiet. Blaine had to tell someone who wasn't named Anderson, when he got offered his first real part outside a school production, and even before he had graduated! Who better than his probably best friend? He's still in touch with several of the Warblers, but Sam has a special place in his heart. He was really important to Blaine after he messed up everything and lost Kurt. Sam prevented him from transferring back to Dalton, and they grew close. Sam talked sense into him when Blaine daydreamed about some grand gesture to win Kurt back – a public proposal or something spectacular that would have to convey the message that Blaine was truly sorry, and wanted a future with Kurt. That never happened, thanks to Sam's reality check. Blaine still hoped they would navigate back together again. They even hooked up twice during Blaine's Senior year, after two Will and Emma-weddings, but Adam never left the picture completely, so Blaine backed off. Kurt had obviously moved on, enjoyed some carnal fun with Blaine, but never gave any sign of wanting more from him. Blaine had been devastated after the break up, drowned in his insecurities, and hadn't been confident and strong enough to fight for Kurt. He'd taken the scraps Kurt would give him, but never asked for more, something Sam had supported. Sam had expressed he was afraid Blaine would do something rushed, ending up even more heartbroken.
After high school, they moved together to Los Angeles. With some geographical distance, it was easier to nurture his broken heart. He bloomed at LAADA, Los Angeles Academy of Dramatic Arts, and gained confidence, friends, flirty attention and self-esteem. Therefore, it didn't hurt as much when they hooked up for the third time, even if it left him ridiculously grateful for getting that miniscule taste of Kurt in his life again. As far as Blaine knew, Adam wasn't any longer a part of Kurt's life, but it didn't feel right to initiate anything when they lived on opposite ends of the country. Besides, even if Adam was gone, there were probably other young men lining up for Kurt. Someone who didn't cheat, and disappoint, and wreck hearts.
Kurt and Blaine weren't the only ex-couple messing with boundaries, though. When New Directions came to Los Angeles for Nationals their Senior year, Sam had ended up in Mercedes' arms and bed, and when the two young men moved to the west coast, it didn't take long for his friend to get in touch with his ex-girlfriend. It didn't really take all that long before they could remove the ex from that label either. When Mercedes decided to move to New York in hopes of improving the inspiration for her record, Sam blindly followed her. Blaine tried living alone for half a year, but it didn't suit him. After having boarded at Dalton, lived and breathed with the intensity of New Directions, and then roomed with Sam, he just felt lonely. It was Cooper who suggested Blaine move in with him, and take advantage of the spare room Coop merely used for his assorted headshots and old manuscripts from former auditions. It wasn't an easy sacrifice for Cooper, to box it and place them in the apartment's storage unit in the basement, or so he said. But he claimed to be sick and tired of watching Blaine mope, and his baby brother already came over regularly for Anderbro-dinners.
So they lived together until Blaine graduated from LAADA. Now, however, he's ready to live on his own, alone in the apartment Sam helped him pick. He's been a true friend, bending the truth to his girlfriend in order to help Blaine. Sam had looked at a bunch of crappy apartments for him, until he finally found something good enough. Even if Blaine studied the online advertisements and talked to the owner or real estate-agency on the phone, Sam had gotten some bad surprises when he showed up at what had seemed to be promising prospects. One place had failed to mention that the shower was in the kitchen. Another place was smelling so badly of pot, Sam wasn't sure it would ever clear out. The third place had deep cuts in the entrance door, resembling that scene from The Shining. Sam didn't even ring the bell. But eventually, they found a place that fit the description. It wasn't huge; Blaine knew enough about the business to know that not all new musicals take off and receive success, he could be out of work in merely months. He's determined and willing to work hard, but if it isn't a hit among the audience, there is no ticket sale to cover his salary, and if he doesn't have an income, he can't have a sky high rent. So he had decided to be sober when choosing his first NY home.
"This is the Blaine shack!" Sam exclaims, arms spread wide, and he turns around 360 degrees like an excited circus director. "Let me give you the tour!"
Blaine grins, and follows his enthusiastic friend around in the moderate apartment. A tiny entry hall, and Blaine makes a mental note to buy more hooks for his coats and scarves. The living room seems bigger than it probably is. As soon as Blaine starts filling it with furniture, he'll undoubtedly run out of space too soon. He has a wide screen TV, DVD-player, a few game consoles, a media set and a bookshelf in the truck on its way from LA, which he hopes will fit. He'll need to buy a couch and a table eventually, after taking measurements. Fortunately, the kitchen has all the appliances he needs, but maybe he can fit a bar bench and two tall stools later. It's not a priority compared to a comfortable couch, though, and his first paycheck will go towards that. The bedroom will be crowded with the large bed Cooper convinced him to take from his room there. Blaine hates to admit that his brother made a valid point when he reminded him that he's old enough to bring boys to his place, but too old to invite them to stay in a bunk bed. So he'd blushingly accepted the extra wide bed. He'd never stomached the thought of bringing anyone home for a night, and exposing them to Cooper's eccentricity. It was easier to go to someone's home. The thought of inviting a hot guy home makes him feel ridiculously grown up. Until he remembers there's really only one person in New York he wants. It takes him back to being a clueless, helpless teenager.
"Do you want me to help you unpack?" Sam offers when the tour has gone full circle.
"Thank you, but I'll manage," Blaine smiles disarmingly. Sam has the biggest heart, but there are no concept of structure and order to his system. Blaine knows exactly how chaotic Sam's closet is, and he spent a fair amount of time cleaning up after him in their shared space while rooming.
"Great!" Sam grins, almost looking relieved. "It's time to celebrate your arrival to The Big Apple," he says, and drags Blaine over to the kitchen. There he opens the refrigerator. "I took the liberty of stocking the fridge with some essentials."
Blaine steps up on his toes to peak over Sam's shoulder, and there he sees a six pack of beer and two frozen pizzas. It's probably too early for alcohol, but Blaine decides to be a rebel for once.
"To your new life," Sam clinks the bottle neck against Blaine's.
"To my new life," Blaine agrees, settling more comfortably. They rolled out his sleeping bag, and is leaning against the wall.
"What did you tell Mercedes?"
"Audition. But I have to tell her eventually."
"I know." Blaine takes a larger sip to buy himself some time. "I want to tell Kurt myself. If she knows… They're so close, I can't imagine she would keep it to herself. And I want him to hear it from me."
"Fair enough," Sam nods. "What exactly is it that he's going to hear from you, though?"
"That there's a new boy in town?" That I still love him. That I think something's wrong with him…
"Just… Don't get your hopes up, okay? I know how easily you daydream about the two of you, I know how little it takes from him for you to imagine a second chance."
"We shared the night this weekend," Blaine admits. Both Sam and Mercedes were in the wedding, but he doesn't think they noticed, considering how caught up they had been in each other.
"Blaine…" Sam sighs. "You guys have the weirdest tradition. But you have to remember that it was sex. Just sex. Don't you think Kurt would have said something by now, if he saw it as more?"
"I'm in New York now," Blaine mutters, staring sadly at his empty beer bottle. He gets up to retrieve one more, Tuesday early afternoon be damned, and gestures at Sam to wordlessly ask if he wants another.
"The thing is," he says as he sits down, handing Sam his new beer, "I'm not the naïve teenager I was back at McKinley. I know I broke his heart. I broke my own heart. But I also lost my best friend. No offence," he hurriedly adds, looking apologetically at Sam. "But he was my best friend, and he was a friend in ways you can never be. Just like you're a friend in ways he never was. If I can earn his friendship again…"
"Just… Don't do anything rushed. Or stupid."
"I swear, "Blaine nods, raising his beer in the air.
"Do you think perhaps you could inform Kurt about your new address by Friday? Mercedes and I are having a party on Saturday, and it would suck if you couldn't be there."
"Of course!" Blaine beams. "That's, what, 96 hours away? Plenty of time to tell him."