Chapter Two: Ramblings and Promiscuity

Bumblebee took the book from Speedy and grabbed a nearby chair to sit in in front of the others sitting on the couch. She opened the book to the first page, and started to read.

Lyke, hi every1! My name iz Sapphyre Gray, and I, lyke, totally LUV Robin! Lyke, if we were 2 get married, I wolud becum Sapphyre GraySON, hee-hee!

Robin had being getting paler by the second as soon as Bumblebee started reading, and by the end of the third sentence, all the color raced back into his face and he yelled, "How the HECK does she know my real name?!"

No one bothered to answer him.

Dis iz my stori, which iz, lyke, sooooo totally tragik and awsum and beautiful!111!! And u kno whut? I AM beautiful!

"What a surprise." Raven rolled her eyes.

Aqualad and Speedy exchanged nervous glances, and both were wondering if it had been a bad idea to read this book after all.

I'm tall, and I'm slim, and I, lyke, have curves in all the rite places! And my eyes are sapphye blu, and I have goldun blond hiar that flows 2 my wiast.

"So she looks like a dumb blonde, then?" Jericho signed mildly.

Everyone stared at him oddly.

"Uh, you realize that would be insulting yourself, right?" Kole asked, eyeing Jericho's curly blond hair. He just shrugged nonchalantly.

My skin iz pale and cleer and I have never had, lyke, a pimpel or nething in my life.

"That is most wonderful for you," Starfire muttered, scowling.

I'm so beautiful that every guy, lyke, TOTALLY wants me, tee-hee!

"That's a little disturbing," Jinx commented.

And for a 15 year old, I've had a lot of...ah, "experience," giggle giggle wink wink.

"And that's just disgusting," Cyborg said.

"So she's ditzy, vain, stupid, AND promiscuous?" Aqualad asked.

"Hey! The twins don't need to hear that!" Bumblebee snapped.

"Oh, come on," Speedy said, "they don't even know what 'promiscuous' means."

"¿Qué significa?" Más and Menos asked in unison.

"You don't need to know," Bumblebee said quickly.

So, lyke, newayz, 1 nyte, I wuz at my house watching teen titans.

"We have a TV show?" Beast Boy asked in confusion.

"In another dimension, yes," Raven replied. "It's apparently a very popular show, but it got cancelled after five seasons and a movie. Some Suefics have the Mary Sue be brought from that dimension to this one."

Everyone looked at her strangely. "And you know this, how?" Robin questioned.

"Internet," was Raven's curt response.

It iz sooooooooooo awsum!!!!!11111!! And Robin iz, lyke, soooooooooooooo HAWT!!11!!!!!!1!

"Whoa!" Bumblebee exclaimed. "You know someone's an idiot when the punctuation's longer than the words in a sentence. And why do the 'so's have so many 'O's?"

"She sure likes to ramble," Speedy mused, ignoring a twitching Robin.

But suddenly, my tv strated 2 glow! OMGWTF! A portel wuz appeering, suking me in! AAAAHHHH!

"Aw, crap!" Robin groaned. "She's probably gonna show up at the Tower any minute now!"

The world gave way 2 darknesss, and I new no mor.

"Well that's no surprise," Beast Boy couldn't help joking, "her brain's about the size of a pea!"

No one laughed.

When I cam 2, a pair of blak eyes and a pair of masked 1s were looking at me. I staired bak at teh blak-hiared boy and teh redheaded 1.

Aqualad and Speedy seemed to stiffen in their seats.

"...This is going to be bad, isn't it?" Speedy asked.

"Looks like it," Aqualad answered.

Most of the other occupants tried not to laugh at their misfortune--"most" being the keyword here, since Robin made no effort to control himself.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Robin spent the next minute or so pointing and laughing at Speedy and Aqualad, and he didn't seem to notice that they were glaring at him.

Bumblebee sighed and shook her head.

"Hey, whut r u doing here?" teh redheaded boy askd.

"I don't kno," I sed, my voice lyke teh sound of bellz. I recognised 1 of teh boyz as Speedy and teh other as Aqualad. 'I must b in teh, lyke, teen titans univurse!' I thawt.

"Uh, Robin, you can stop now," Cyborg said. "You're really creeping me out."

Robin was singing "Celebrate Good Times" and was causing everyone to look at him VERY weirdly. It wasn't that Robin was a bad singer, it was just that he really sounded like he was the verge of snapping (if that made any sense).

"Okay, okay," Robin finally said, "I'm calm now. I think." He set his mouth into a straight line.

Starfire was shaking her head in sympathy. Robin was being driven insane all over again, and he wasn't even a victim of this "Sapphyre" girl.

Author's Note: And that's the end of the second chapter! Stay tuned for the next chapter, where things are sure to get real interesting real quick.

Translations:

"¿Qué significa?" = "What does it mean?"