Author's Note: If you have clicked onto this chapter 2. Thank You for your faith in me( Bows Politely). But now comes the difficult part as:
Kanda- will have all the physical descriptions of the real Allen Walker's Body. Except when I tell that it is not.
Allen- will also have the physical decriptions of the real Kanda Yu's Body.
I shall try to make the story a bit more understanding for the part of you, the reader. If there are some parts of this story that you do not get, or want me to rewrite as so you could understand, feel free to review me and say what is wrong. But don't flame me! Please!
Thank You for your concern and understanding. Now, On to the Disclaimer.
But Before that... some warnings/corrections gratefully due to the concerns and suggestions thrown by the reviewers...
- Kanda's Cursing Habit. Uh, yeah. I typed too many vulgar rants coming from Kanda's sweet mouth and I know they may be a little/too overpowering but I shall correct them as much as possible But not too much since the reason why I wanted him to curse often will be explained in this chapter. Plus, from what I read from the real manga or from the other fanfics I read here, Kanda is popular because of his hot body and his bad-ass personality. Am I right? Was my research right or wrong? Hmmm (Scratches Head) But of course, if you, as a reader, feel uncomfortable about it...just tip me off with a review saying 'Tone it down to Zero'...or something like that. (^_^')
- I'm not sure if this can be called a tip but you can say that some of these people will not yet know about the mishap between Kanda and Allen so if one of their names are caught in dialogue bozes (" ") then they are actually looking at them through their physical appearances, Okay?
Disclaimer: D GrayMan is now owned by the writer of this fic, it is owned by it's owner, Hoshino Katsura-sensei. Thank You (Bows Politely)
Chapter 2: Komui Did It!
This was a load of crap.
Kanda felt like he was crap being trampled and crushed by a train. Crud. He didn't want to wake up with a seering headache overcoming his mentality. That would just make him all the more crappier. Why was the Overseer this cruel? He was a good exorcist who did his job well, no, exceptionally better than anyone else. He took good care of his well-built tanned body and superior mentality but why did he have to suffer with an annoying migraine?
" Damn, it's gonna be a fricking bad day." Kanda had taken into a habit that whenever he had a huge, pain-staking headache, it would later on result on a bad day. Like that time when the Usagi made him into a guinea pig to test out the crazy-headed Supervisor's potions in his place. Whether was a premonition or not, he didn't care. But he just caught onto the habit that Pain in the Head equals Bad Day.
" Tch." he walked over to the nearby mirror, noting that everything seemed larger than usual. But now, he just wanted to look how awful his appearance was and try to correct it before showing himself outside the halls of the Dark Order.
He took an overlooked towel at the bedside table, inspecting if he had drool over his chin again. He stepped groggily towards the mirror.
Knock!
Knock!
Knock!
" Ka—Kanda!" Tch. He knew who owned that weak girly voice but why did he come to his room this early in the morning? Did he want a special order of knuckle sandwich to add to his breakfast menu?
" Damn Moyashi. The hell do you want?!" he demanded with his low husky voice before opening the door which had the Moyashi behind it.
He glared at the figure towering the samurai.
" Tch. Why the hell am I looking at a mirror image of myself?"
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" Yaawwnn~" Lavi stretched his tired arms upward towards the ceiling. He was annoyed by the fact that Panda-jiji woke him 1 in the morning (He went to bed at 11) to go to the library to memorize three thick looking medical books from the library. What did it have to do with the recording they were obligated to observe within the hollowed halls of the Dark Order anyway?
" Whatever the hell that Panda wants, he always gets it." he roughly confessed to himself. He had no way of disobeying him without feeling the wrath of his Panda Punches.
" Fucking Hell! Fuck! Fuck!"
His keen ears sensed through the silent hall. The sounds emanated from the section that had Allen's and Kanda's room. His curiosity took over his body at the moment he heard Kanda's voice saying to do 'it' with somebody...or maybe he was just in his regular cursing rampage in the mornings again.
" Yu-chan? Is that you?" he asked the boy behind the door of, strangely, Allen's room. "Why're you inside Allen-chan's room. Don't tell me—!"
" Shut up! Idiot Usagi!" the force from Kanda's punch came through the door and banged into Lavi's poor nose. "Leave me alone. I—I'm calling the damn Moyashi because—"
"--we're supposed to go to Komui's office." Finished Allen albeit his voice sounded a little nervous.
" Oh, ya guys are goin' to get your weapons from Komui, right?" Lavi spoke, excited that he'll get his hammer back from that retard. "I'll come with ya—"
" Hell No!" both voices commanded from the other side of the door.
" I—I mean that...uhmm...I'm still changing." the voice of Allen stuttered.
" Then why's Yu there with ya?"
" And fucking why not?! I can get in and out of anyone's room whomever, Whenever I please!"
" But—"
" Follow us, no, even wait for us...and you shall die."
" Yu-chan—"
" My Word is Law! Damn it!" and that was all the older man spoke as Lavi shrugged off leaving him to deter to his plan of annoying Kanda and goofing off with his pal, Allen. They were having soo much fun with their quality time together.
" Fine Yu-chan!" he blurted. "Go make crazy fun with your little Allen-chan over there."
And that popped another vein in Kanda's set of blood vessels. The boy knew, and he snickered about it.
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" Tch. That retarded Rabbit's gonna pay once I get back to normal." a crack was formed from Kanda's punch, much to the aggravation of Allen.
" Shu—Shut up, Bakanda. This is my room remember and you're currently hurting my body." Allen retorted. Ugh, he still felt the slight nausea since the night before but with the addition of running to his own room wearing nothing but boxer shorts completely shocked his circuits.
No, wait. He was running around in boxers as Kanda. Pfft, that would actually make up for it, a lot.
"Oi, you're in my body and you just walked back here in boxer shorts." Gasp, he noticed!
Allen sheepishly turned around to face gloom and doom impersonating his own face, and grinned. "Yeah, so? I was still so shocked at the fact I'm in the worst possible 'body' to be stuck in."
" Tch." he began cussing. "You think you're humiliated. Just Look at Me! I feel like a girl with this frail body who has the equivalent height of a beansprout! "
" Ugh." Allen connected his hand to his head, sighing in defeat. "This is so wrong in so many ways."
"Maybe if we simultaneously ram into each other..."
Wham!
Allen's head was sizzling red with steam coming off as an after effect of his head colliding with Kanda's. "Tch. I knew your ideas would never work."
" The only one who can actually fix this shit is..." Kanda knowingly glared at the wall he had punched a while ago. He knew that that creep was the only one who had the clearly insane mentality to do this sort of shit to anyone available and...he was the only one who can save them from the horror they are currently looking at. How stupidly ironic.
" Komui."
But then after this. Both exorcists will have a pleasure ripping his brain out, slowly and painfully.
" Kanda...or more specifically...Kanda in my body..." Allen muttered and cursed. " Goodness, this is confusing."
" Just shut up Moyashi, I know what I'm supposed to do. We're gonna tell that bastard of a scientist to fix our problem and tell us how he did this shit to us and destroy all unnecessary data about this 'project' of his completely and then Hell will break loose on his poor defenseless soul."
Okay, to put it bluntly, that was what Allen was thinking of doing. He agreed but then going out of their safety zone which was currently Allen's room, with an 'Allen' who was spitting out profanities like it was suddenly a daily basis and glaring daggers at Finders (or in their current situation, anyone looking at him) and a 'Kanda' who looked like he hasn't shaved for two days and currently down to his boxer shorts.
" Oi, Moyashi. Once we get out of this room, no one will know about this. Agreed?"
He nodded. "Agreed." but he still wondered...
'What have I done to deserve this kind of treatment?'
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" Do you know how long it took me to shave this beard of yours?!" complained the younger of the two who was currently contained in the body of one called Kanda Yu . He had his clothes on by now since they were heading towards the source of their misery.
" I was so prepared for puberty hitting on me but I sincerely hope that I won't end up with the same situation you're in every stinking day of the rest of your life." he continued nagging while comforting the few spots on his chin that had wounds from the shaving experience.
" Shut it." Silver eyes glared at the taller one. "I have hormonal issues, okay? Unlike yours..." and so began the ranting of Kanda inside the body of the shorty, Allen Walker.
"...I've been trying to get a book from that abnormally large bookshelf your room had while I had to wait an hour for you to finish 'touching up' or whatever the hell you were doing there!"
" Oh Yeah, well at least you confessed that you have Testosterone Issues." snorted Allen.
" Gak, Well, I'm about to puke because you have too much estrogen in yours" Kanda continued by making a fake puking action in front of him.
" I swear..." Allen continued their...conversation...unknowingly being stared by a couple of passersby. It wasn't all that strange to find those two arguing like there's no tomorrow but Allen with High Testosterone and Kanda with...Estrogen Problems? Okay, either they've messed up with their Biology/Anatomy or they, the passersby, were actually in an alternate universe of some sort...
" Al—Allen?" a voice of a lady called out from behind the pair.
" Fuck. What do you WANT?" Kanda turned to glare at Leenalee's confused violet eyes.
" Did you catch a cold Allen? Your voice seems...hoarse." Leenalee arched an eyebrow. Not knowing how to respond well to a grumpy Allen Walker. " You know you have something to do today, right?"
" What the he—" Kanda was stopped by a slight pinch on his—he couldn't believe he was saying this—cursed left arm.
" Don't let them suspect. Just follow what Leenalee says, nod at whatever she says, and stick with her." Kanda heard him whisper cautiously but what would they do about the Komui-thing?
As if Allen had read his mind, he relieved him by continuing that he'd meet with him later at the cafeteria during breakfast. Kanda agreed and went off with the female exorcist.
" Tch. Whatever Moyashi. I hope you fall off a long stair case and break your neck on your way to wherever the hell you're going." Kanda gave off a twitch in annoyance. He had a feeling he had wanted to say that to him for a long, long time.
Allen bid them goodbye with a glare, like the real Kanda. However, he took note of the 'cafeteria' and 'breakfast', he wondered if he would still have the same appetite he had while in his own body or must he eat those raw looking soba tempura noodles he would always see Kanda eating.
' I hope not...'
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Kanda's silver eyes, cautiously took glances at the surrounding area. As if he was awaiting a horde of akuma to pounce on him unannounced. Tch. This is so fucked up. Where the hell was he anyway?
" Allen, I was kinda worried with you back there." Leenalee spoke to him, while dragging him to God knows where. " I saw you with Kanda and when you were talking, it seemed like you were Kanda."
Heck, this woman was good! Damn those woman's intuition. " I—I don't know what you mean, Ms.—Miss Leenalee. I was just on my way to Komui's office to get him to check my arm for me and then I saw that Bakanda and we argued.." With his high squeaky voice and fake-English mannerism, he swore he would never let Leenalee know this embarrassing secret.
" Moyashi-chan!" That voice, Kanda knew that voice all too well. "Are you done with Yu-chan already? I thought you two were going at it till noon." Going at it till noon? Kanda gritted his teeth, what was he thinking of Allen anyway...gay? Well, he probably was but with Kanda? No, Kanda was straight. STRAIGHT.
" La—Lavi you idiot. Why would you think of that about me." Kanda faked a pout. "I'm hurt." Damn, being the Moyashi was getting harder and harder to accomplish.
" Peace, Man!" Lavi, as if his cry for rest was made void when he met Allen and Kanda a while ago, made a peace sign to Kanda and hung his free arm to the small lad's shoulder. "I'm thinking about doing it tonight." he whispered it into Kanda's ear.
" Tonight?" Kanda wondered. What the fuck is he planning with Allen's body?Maybe he had gender issues
" Just Three words mi amigo: Kanda, Pink, Hair." Shit, he knew it! He was plotting to destroy Kanda's beautifully kept blue hair. That imbecile... "I know you've been waiting for this opportunity for a while Moyashi-chan. I mean You gave me this idea in the first place. And now that he's weaponless and Mugen far, Far from his breech." the red-head smirked. "He's ours for the taking."
" I—I—" Kanda was a lost for coherent words; all words that came off from his mind were vulgar and plans of strangling the Rabbit right then and there. But the Real Moyashi was also part of this evil 'Destroy-Kanda's-Hair' loop, so he must keep his cool and wait for the opportune moment.
" Moyashi-chan?" Lavi stared incredulously at his friend's lost of words. Sure, dying Kanda's hair will be a great feat but the co-plotter himself in a stutter? No way, Allen was more than this especially when his Evil Pokerfaced Ego was activated. " Don't tell me you've chickened out."
Kanda snapped back to reality at his words. No way was he a chicken whether he was in Allen's body or a real chicken's body. " No—No way. I'm no chicken!" he scowled, bringing back Lavi's faith in him for the operation.
" Good—here's the plan—"
" Wait a minute!" the plotters were then interrupted by Leenalee who thought she was ignored by the coniving pair. "You guys shouldn't be doing this. Think of Kanda's feelings..." Yes, think of how I will strangle you once I get back my real body. "and you should be afraid of what may become of yourselves as an aftermath."
Lavi pouted. " But you don't know how long Allen-chan's been waiting for this opportunity. Just look at him and his puppy face!" he pulled Kanda in front of Leenalee's face, awaiting for his reaction.
Buddha, I can't believe I'm doing this. Yes, he did the 'Puppy Face'. Those glittery and watery eyes with wet lips that were pouting and shaking.
Lenalee smacked Lavi with her clipboard and proceeded to drag Kanda from the clutches of the evil prankster. " Come on Allen, you've got better things to do than this."
" We'll talk later in the cafeteria." Lavi mouthed the words to Kanda. He nodded back at him. He was going to enjoy this, after all, what comes around goes around.
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" Oh, hello there Kanda. What brings you to the cafeteria this early in the morning?" Jerry, the pink haired chef greeted the tall raven-haired exorcist. "Funny, you usually come later and you usually don't break your schedule for anything."
The smell of food was intoxicating. Allen dreamt that he was floating in the air with all of his favorite food smiling and inviting him to eat them all. Damn, was this his own strong sense of smell or Kanda's? He couldn't believe how strong his willpower was to resist all this sensory goodness.
" I want—" he stopped midsentence. What was he going to do? This wasn't his parasitic body anymore so he didn't have to consume so much food like in the past but that didn't mean his brain would register that right away as a 'go' for ordering just one plain soba. No Way.
" I want everything that is available right now and make that times 5" he poked his bruised chin, thinking. " And soba. The usual." he grunted and left to get the tray and cart to carry the load.
Jerry abruptly stared at the teenager. " O—okay." Was this Kanda he was cooking for, or another Allen Walker in the making?
Allen stopped his light skipping towards the cart as he was blocked by a Finder who was chatting with his friends. Completely ignoring the fact that 'Kanda Yu' was in their presence. Allen thought hard, "Move, you Useless Idiots! You're blocking my way." He didn't have to be 'Polite' to them...It gave off a certain relief to the Englishman. This was the first time that he didn't have to kneel down to their low just for them to step on him like before.
At that suggestion, the Finders creeped away. Insulted by the fact that they were insulted by yet again that Kanda exorcist.
'But being kind is still much better than this' Allen sighed. He didn't want to enjoy being a sadistic bastard like Kanda, and no way was he going to start liking it now!
" Here you go Kanda dear." Allen was so happy that he had a hungry stomach even if it was Kanda's, the only problem was 'fitting the mountain into the hole'.
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Kanda tched silently in his mind. He never would've guessed that that Moyashi would be doing this with the other people.
" Allen, could you help me compile these documents for me?"
" Allen, does this report come before or after Vienna's recent attack?"
" Allen, could you get me some more ink for my quill? I'm running low on ink."
" Allen, can you check the map for me...where the heck is this place in Arabia anyways!"
" Allen, can you hand me a bandage for the patient on the other side of the clinic?"
" Allen, does this skirt make my butt look big?"
" Allen!"
"Allen!"
"ALLEN!"
Kanda took a few steps backward. Yes, he was dragged by that Lenalee to another side of the infirmary that held a large white office filled with nurses hot on their heels with paperwork and helping to treat injured personnels on the other side of the room. What was this Moyashi to them anyway? Aside from being one of the strongest exorcists available, he was also their part-time Secretary! And from that skirt question...did they really think Allen was Gay enough to say his comment? This was a whole new side of the Moyashi that Kanda, regrettably, discovered.
Kanda did as he was instructed by that Moyashi to nod and follow everything that Lenalee asked him to do but this was getting exhausting even if it was just morning. And he still had to meet up with his counterpart at the cafeteria by breakfast. He had to think fast...
Grrooowwwllll~
Luckily, Moyashi's stomach was done thinking up of a great escape plan.
" So—sorry about that Lenalee." he squeaked. "I guess I need to fill this black hole of mine with breakfast." he hurriedly backed away from the women, a little embarrassed at himself because of the horrible sound emitted by the Beansprout's stomach. Shit. That was embarrassing.
He grumbled his way to the cafeteria, ignoring the greetings sent by the other members of the Order.
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Allen stared at the huge luscious mountain before him. All of his favorites were there, everything that was in Jerry's menu as a matter of fact. Drool was dripping from his mouth while he readied his spoon, fork, and table knife for the inhalation of said food.
" Hello there Idiot. " Every word on that sentence was dripped with venom. " What the hell were you thinking Kanda? Were you trying to plot on stealing every bit of food that was supposedly for my body?"
Allen stared at the hand that slammed at the only empty space available at the table then following his blue gaze to a grumpy Kanda in Allen Walker's body. " Don't you dare inhale those greasy foods into my body. You piece of shit." he whispered threateningly at him.
" Tch. So what? I'd rather see you starve than let all this food go to the bowels of that stomach of yours." Allen acted like Kanda and snorted out loud as Kanda sat at the other side of the table with him.
" This body needs it more than you do." he stated , before a hand fell upon the mountain of greasy goodness. Allen inwardly pouted to himself. " Those Soba Tempura Noodles are better anyways so I'm giving it to you."
Those Soba Noodles? Allen gave off an incredulous look at him. He didn't like it. It was the only thing that he didn't like in his three basic food groups. He didn't know why but eating those things were worse than eating raw fish. Maybe it was because it had always reminded him of Kanda's baboon like face.
" Tch. I've lost my appetite because you're here." it was partially true since he never liked the evil aura that Kanda always emanated whenever they were in a close range of each other. It was disturbing him too much.
" So you're done?" Kanda spoke, his eyes closed and concentrating on gourging at the present mountain of food until it became a little like a hill.
" Yeah. I told you I've lost my appetite because of you." he snorted, putting his chin on top of his open palm while lazily looking around the large corridor. He didn't want to face that idiot.
" Stop doing that. I do Not Slouch." he hissed at him and returned to eating his food. "Tch. I can't believe I have to eat this entire mountain of food just for 'bodily needs'."
Allen glared at the man opposite him. Yeah, he needed to eat that much as compensation for his parasitic-innocence and that didn't bother him much nowadays but seeing Kanda scrutinize that compensation, it seemed that Kanda was scrutinizing his entire existence!
" So how did those errands with Lenalee go?" he straightened his back just as Kanda ordered but he still didn't want to look into Kanda's side of the table.
Kanda was currently slurping a plate of spaghetti and glared at the back of Allen's long dark blue hair. "...Shut Up and just eat that damn soba of yours. I don't like to waste what little food I have."
Allen grunted. Little food was right. Just looking at his plate of soba, he suspected that it was less than a fistful of noodles and more on the sauce. But Allen reluctantly agreed as his own, no, Kanda's body's stomach let off a small growl. Damn it, but he still hated soba.
" We're going to Komui after I finished gourging on this." Kanda said, he was at his last pile of plates.
Allen just slurped his soba in compliance. But he hadn't reached half of his 'smaller than a fistful' of soba noodles as he was having a hard time holding those wooden chopsticks Kanda usually uses.
" Yu-chan!" the real Kanda tched in annoyance as his real body was currently being hugged by the ever-so irritating Usagi. What the hell are you waiting for?! He glared at Allen who finally got the point.
" What the damn hell are you saying my name for? I said stop calling me that you Freak!" Kanda was leaning more on the slicing the Usagi with just a pair of chopstick but that will have to suffice.
Lavi blinked. He thought Kanda would be slicing him with the chopsticks by now. " Yu-chan, is this the continuation of what you and Allen-chan were doing in his room."
A few pairs of eyes glanced at the conversation at their table. Allen, in Kanda's body, was having a difficult time covering his red tinged cheeks. "The—The Hell are you talking about, Rabbit!"
He slapped the good man's arm away from his shoulders and continued slurping at his soba.
" Aaww, is the little Yu-chan finally all grown-up?" Lavi continued to tease him but Allen continued to ignore him, thinking that that was what the real Kanda would do. But oh, he was wrong. Kanda, in Allen's body, was finished with his mountain of food and was now currently glaring at the victorious smirk that Baka-Usagi contained and there was nothing that damn idiot of a Beansprout was doing!
Lavi was still wierded out at the lack of attention but continued to tease his companion. "You're so silent, Yu-chan. And is that a blush I see?" his face was now a few centimeters away from Allen's pursing mouth, he snickered.
Kanda couldn't take it anymore as he proceeded to smack the back of Lavi's head and with his one free hand, dragged a dazed Allen in Kanda's body away from the cafeteria and into their target's office.
" Th—Thanks." Allen muttered, still a little hot in the head with the teases he was reduced to listen.
" Shut up. I was only doing that to contain what little dignity I still had left." Allen grunted at what Kanda said and he was slightly disappointed at the fact he was so selfish and that since the first time they had met, he had not change that selfish, self-centered attitude he had.
Well, at least after this, they will never speak about this incident again and all evidence about this reluctant and ridiculous morning will have been erased.
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Komui, with his fogged up glasses, stared impassively at the odd pair. Kanda and Allen were waiting excitedly for the return of their normal bodies.
" I don't know what you two are talking about...Pfftt. Body Switching."
Two pairs of eyes stared at him in horror. If it wasn't the result of Komui's experimentation...
" Then how the HELL did we end up like THIS?!" they both screamed in terror.
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Author's Note: And that signals the end of the second chapter of this fic. Do you still like it? Then please show your love by clicking on the review button or favoriting/alerting button or Both!. Any would make me REAL Happy :)
Also, I have to say sorry for all the grammatical errors found in the first chapter. It was only later on that I knew that there were some missing words and grammatical errors in the first part . But I've updated it now!I don't know how it ended up like that when I uploaded my file to my account (Scratches Head). My program is OpenOffice Writer...is it the fault of my own program?
Also, if you're expecting much from me...please look up the warning found on my profile about my updating. Suminase---(Excuse me)
The Origin of 'Saraba'- For the better explanation for a reviewer. I wanted it to be a catchphrase of mine. I first discovered it in an episode from CG-R2 (Code Geass R2) wherein fake-Lelouch jumps from a horde of crazed sports jockeys while shouting 'Saraba'. Real-Lelouch got all embarrassed about it, saying how it was so underneath him. Hehe, I liked how he reacted. Oh and it means Farewell in a old ninja-type way since ninja's usually say those things. No, not Naruto ninjas...traditional ninjas.
Author's Favorite Part:
I liked the part where Kanda yells. "My Word is Law! Damn It!" hehe, it feels like a combination of his Superiority Complex and Angsty Mode.
What about yours?( Stares expectedly at computer screen) You can type it off in the Review Section of the story, if you like.
Well, then. So ends the Author's Side of the Story... (Handsigns and SmokeBomb) SARABA *Vooosssshhhh*