2. Childhood, the Anderfels, and the Apostate:
"When I was a child I lived in a small village in the Anderfels."
The mountains rose high in the setting, snow almost always blanketing the ground. Sun set, sun rise, no matter what time of day the village barely ever got any sun light. Villagers called the upper part of town Skystead and the lower part of town Black Hollow. But the village itself was named Thralkeld; after the mountain it rested upon.
"The village was made up of a tavern called; The Lazy Whistle and-"
-X-
"Who names a pub 'The Lazy Whistle'?"
"I don't know! That place was like fifty years old! Do you want me to tell the story or not, Varric?"
"Right, continue."
-X-
"There was The Lazy Whistle, a farm, some houses, and a Keep. It was Chancellor's Keep, and built like a castle. It sat at the very top of Skystead, casting a shadow onto the rest of the village."
The shadow created a great gloominess about the place, when you visited you would feel an overwhelming sadness or desperation to get home. However, when you lived there you felt depressed to the bone and like clawing your own skin off. It was always cold and dark, dank and reeked from the stable of horses at the farm. No one was ever happy.
"It wasn't easy for me. Abandoned at the age of three, I lived in this town for nearly ten years. The earliest memory I have of this village is when I was four; there was a very old dwarven woman by the name of Kelavia Cadens. She was casteless I imagine, living in Black Hollow alone as she did. She took care of me like a grandmother would her grandchildren; her warm smile is my first memory, everything before that is fuzzy. But when Kelavia died, when I was six years old, I was left completely alone."
The memory of it snowing comes to my mind. It's cold and the hay in the barn, along with a newborn foal, is the only thing keeping me warm. My skin is pale and thin, the clothes I wear are dirty and torn, the only place I can bathe and have water to drink is lake Wrofyns down the mountain. But the walk is a long one, and I barely have the energy to beg for food or coin.
"There were some kind villagers with coin and food to spare, but they were few and far in-between and they had bad days too. Most villagers, if they saw me begging, would rather give me a good whipping instead of food. One becomes accustomed to abuse when given to it frequently enough. But there was one such soul who said to me; 'give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he'll eat for life'."
His name was Martus Theron, they called him Old Mart. He was a hunter and a good one. The man was getting on in his years and had many apprentices. They would hang on his every word, as he would tell them his life story over and over again. Old as he was he was strong, but also wise and kind; his apprentices however, not so much. They were each waiting for him to teach one of them his final secrets, as he said he would teach one of them to be a master hunter before he died. But really, that's not what he said. He said: 'I will teach whoever truly needs it the art of survival.'
-X-
Varric stares at me, an expression of 'oh really?' on his face.
"What?" I give him a confused look.
"You're making this too easy, Scar." He replied, shaking his head.
"Is my story that see-through?" I ask disappointedly.
The dwarf nods, I sigh.
-X-
"Martus announced one day, in the center of Black Hollow square, that he would be choosing a person to teach his final lessons too. Everyone thought it would be to his apprentices, but he went looking all over town, including his apprentice's houses. He watched people going about their day….then he saw me. I was eight years old and hanging on by a thread."
Usually on cold days I would be at the farm, the farmer there allowed me time with the animals, keeping them happy and calm, in exchange for permitting me to sleep in the barn with them. I've always had a way with animals, wild or otherwise. But I was as curious as anyone else who Martus would pick, and I was hungry. I thought I might do two things at once, watch the unfolding of events and beg for food.
"I was begging a woman for a slice of bread, she carried a basket full of loafs and was….plump herself. But instead of kindly telling me away she went to slap me, but her arm was caught mid-swing, and there Serah Theron was, holding her arm as he told the woman off for thinking about hitting a starving urchin. The woman still refused to give up her food but left without a struggle. I remember Martus' old kind gold eyes well."
'How long ago since you ate a full meal little one?' Martus asked, holding his hand out to help me up. I kept my head lowered, fearful I would say something wrong and he would strike me as all the others did.
'Many weeks, Serah.' I replied in a weak and scared voice.
He smiled, holding my hand tightly. 'Then I will teach you how to hunt, so that you may never go hungry again.'
-X-
Varric raised a brow.
"Sorry my life story is so predictable." I grumble, arms crossed.
"Oh no, not at all. Although," He pauses dramatically. "If you could speed up a bit and get to the action-y parts that would be great!"
I pout at his words.
-X-
So for the next year Martus teaches me how to hunt, so that I might live without begging. He dies months after our last lesson. But because of his kind act, his apprentices and the families of his apprentices began to hate me, and without him around they turn my life into a living shit fest.
"Abuse from the villagers is now a common courtesy, and I hide at the farm to stay away from them, or at least I try. They stalk me, berate me, and hurt me, at every turn. It's on one of the worst days I meet…her. The woman I made that promise to; Falline."
It's the grown sons of the three apprentices that attack me that day, as I was going to buy more string from the tavern. I cannot retaliate; for fear that there would be more ammunition against me. So, I just take it, like I have all my life. But then a beautiful woman appeared, dressed in robes of blue that match her incredible starlight eyes.
'Stop! Stop! I command you bastards to stop!' Her voice echoes and even though it too is beautiful, at the moment it was full of hatred and fury, it was terrifying. The boys vanish, fearful of this woman and who she might or might not be. I am on the ground, bleeding, she kneels before me and touches my cheek ever so gently. I have not felt so comfortable with someone since Kelavia died. 'Are you alright child?'
"I am nine years old and struck speechless. This woman is beautiful, clean, her skin fair, and she has the most amazing soul. Her entire being is made of brightness, a magnificent presence that no one could possibly ignore. I am in awe and the very first thing I say to this woman is how beautiful I believe she is. And when I hear her laugh and smile I feel warm all over."
'You are very kind child. What is your name?' She asks, her dark silk hair draping across her shoulders as she tilts her head. I tell her I am Scarlett, though most call me Scar. She asks why and I point to the deep red scar perfectly across the top of my nose. When she asks how I got such a thing I shiver. At seven years old you are not strong enough to fight against guards, I learned that the hard way. I was just lucky no one had taken my virginity yet. But looking as I did, being dirty, smelly, and nothing but bones, helps to dissuade them. 'You are an orphan then?' I nod to her and she gives me such a sympathetic smile.
'I lost my family when I was young as well. My name is Falline.' She helps me up and dusts off my shoulders. 'And you will be coming home with me.'
"I wonder what she means by such, no one but Martus and Kelavia had ever offered me true kindness. So I confuse easily in the face of it. However, things become clear when she takes me to a nice house in Skystead. It is warm and filled with paintings of flowers. She bathes me, feeds me a big warm meal, gives me new clothes, and puts me to bed. I sleep there and wake up three years later. Three years of bliss, happiness, and warmth. Falline allows me to continue hunting, and I feel an urge to stay in shape just in case my world comes tumbling down again. It's in the forest I usually hunt in, two years into our life together, I learn something."
It is bear season, and usually this would not concern me. Neither bears nor wolves have ever bothered me, but Falline wished to accompany me that day. She was in no way a hunter, her steps were loud and clumsy, but she wished to paint a landscape as she does. So I let her and as I checked the last trap of the day I feel heavy warm breath on my back. The roar comes after I turn around, knife at the ready. But I was only eleven years old, and the bear was much bigger than I. I do not scream when its claws come down on me, scratching deeply into my chest, pain was an old friend of mine. But when I hear Falline scream, utter terror turns my veins to ice.
"She screams my name louder than I have ever heard anyone shout. You never expect to hear someone with such true horror in their voice, or for it to sound like that. It scars just as deeply as any physical wound, even today I can still hear her screaming in the back of my head, it echoing in my skull."
Before the bear can take another swing it freezes.
-X-
"Freezes?" Varric asks, confused. "Why does the bear stop?"
"No, I mean…" I shake my head and try to figure out how to explain what I mean. "I mean he's frozen, covered in ice, literally."
"Wow, I know you said it was cold but-" I cut Varric off.
"With magic! Maker, Varric!" I rub my head as I shake it more vigorously.
"Oh!" He pauses. "OH! Falline's an apostate?"
I nod.
-X-
"It's not too much of a surprise, not really; and when Falline runs to me, catching me before I fall over, I feel sorrier for the bear than myself. She's not the best healer but she gives it her all, and I think she was scared I would fear her after I found out she was an apostate. The look she gives me is one of insecurity, a deep unsure feeling glistening in her eyes. But with my last bit of strength I hug her, as tightly as I can, this woman is like a mother to me, and should never feel unsure of my love for her."
She takes me back to our home in Skystead and bandages me up. Falline cooks me soup, and waits hand and foot on me until I am healed, as much as that pains me; the night after the incident I ask her to tell me about her magic. She weaves a grand tale about how she was born in Ferelden, her father a Redcliffe guard in the castle. Her family was close and strong, and the day she discovered she was a mage she was not afraid to tell her mother and father. It pained her father to send her to The Circle, but she understood.
Behind the Templars backs, her father would send her letters with some silver in them. Each week she would save the money and put it in a coin purse. Then one night, after years of training, she felt save leaving the Circle. She used a distraction and fled the tower, after that she transformed into a fox and traveled to the Anderfels. With so much money it was easy for her to find a house, but she told me, with a kiss on my head, that the house did not become a home until I began to live in it with her.
"It's two years later, I am thirteen and strong, that even Falline is taken from me. She thought she would be safe in Thralkeld. There was no chantry there, no Templars, yet they find us."
-X-
It's been over ten years, but even thinking about that day still brings tears to my eyes. No one has ever replaced Falline, and my heart is still cold from her death.
Varric is looking very solemnly at me. There is concern deep in his eyes.
I wave him off and recompose myself.
"It's not a weakness to cry Scar, no matter what the others have told you." He says very seriously.
I shake my head. "She wouldn't want me crying." And in answer to that, Rune; my pet fox and longest companion, jumps onto my desk and puts his face on my chest. I pet him back.
-X-
"The Templars search the village, I see them when I go for more hunting supplies, not that Falline lets me hunt as much anymore. I thought I could outrun them, get to the house before they find Falline, but when I get home they're pulling her away in chains."
It's cold, colder than ever before, the day they take her away. I scream at them to let her go, but they push me away and ignore me. 'Please!' I beg them. 'She is all I have!' Falline warns me away, but I refuse to give up. The last five years with her have been the happiest years of my life, and I want them to continue, I want them to last forever.
"They are not there to take Falline back to The Circle. Instead they take her down to the square in Black Hollow; where they decapitate her in front of all of Thralkeld."
I follow them down to Black Hollow, and I don't understand why they chain her up at the square. One Templar tells me I have a minute with her before they end it. I don't understand what they mean, but Falline ignores his words and beckons me over. She tells me, with her starlight eyes glistening with tears: 'When I look into your eyes I see the soul of someone with a magnificent destiny. Don't ever give up Scarlett, keep going, find that destiny, the life you deserve, and make me proud!' I can tell she wants to put her hands on my cheeks as she does so often, but this time I hold her face in my palm and try to be strong for her.
"The moment they break out the axe I understand. A Templar holds me back as I kick and shout. Falline yells to me; 'Don't look, close your eyes Scarlett!' But I watch anyway. The moment her head rolls away and the Templars bag it up, I scream, with every feeling of sorrow and hatred in my heart, I scream. Before I even have time to truly morn, villagers are pointing fingers at me, they say I'm a demon and Falline was a blood mage controlling me. For the first time in my life I know what it truly feels like to have a blood lust. I wanted to kill them all; the villagers, the Templars, the guards, all of them. I wanted to blame her death upon them and take revenge. But I wasn't strong enough, so I ran."
I ran as fast as I could down the mountain. With nothing but a dagger, some hunting gear, and the coin Falline had given me to keep for a rainy day, I ran. It was a year's journey, all the way to Ferelden, where Falline was from, to look for the destiny she thought I deserved.