With an Amazon Village just down the road, you would think to find a great many more springs of drowned men…
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TAKE 01
He put up a token resistance really despite his actions and spoken warnings. It had become a universal truth that people who trained at Jusenkyo became cursed by Jusenkyo.
So when a loud 'Sploosh' interrupted his warnings he was anything but surprised.
The 'Sploosh' had been precluded by a 'Splash" as a fat 500 LBS Scotsman leapt out of the pool and balanced on a bamboo pole he shouldn't have had the grace to do.
"Oh! Honored guest fall into spring of drowned Fat Bastard! Not so tragic tale of Fat Bastard who drown in spring two years ago."
If Ranma heard, he did not heed as he was probably too grossed out staring at the fat guy that was literally pouring out of his fathers cloths.
"Get in mah belly!"
KICK
SPLOOSH
The guide winced as the boy fell into the opposing pool to Gen- Fat Bastard. He clapped his hands in prayer. "Honored guest fall into spring of drowned bad oral hygiene British super spy who drown two years ago." He paused in memory of the event. "Not tragic at all." He paused again.
A European sports car painted in the style of the British flag drove out of the pool with a very 60's style pimp behind the wheel. "Yeah Baby!"
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TAKE 02
Ranma smiled as his kick sent his father flying from the bamboo pole and into the spring below him.
Ramna stopped smiling as six Genma's bobbed to the surface of the pool. "BOY!" He cringed as the six Genma's yelled at him in stereo. As one they jumped back onto a bamboo pole.
That is, they all tried to jump back onto the same bamboo pole…
"Oh, Honored guest has fallen into spring of drowned men! Tragic tale of man who fall into spring six times before drowning three years ago!
The six Genma collided with each other atop the pole rather than land on it, causing them to fall back into the other springs.
SPLOOSH, SPLOOSH, SPLOOSH, SPLOOSH-SPLOOSH,SPLOOSH!
Ranma smiled again.
"Oh, Honored customer has also fallen into springs of drowned preteen girl, spring of drowned geisha, spring of drowned hermaphrodite, spring of drowned old lady, spring of drowned Pam Anderson but revived shortly after on an unseen episode of Bay Watch, and spring of drowned rock."
Karma's a bitch.
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TAKE 03
Ranma gaped at the panda dressed in his father's cloths and balanced on the bamboo pole across from him. Unfortunately shocked enough that the guide's words went completely unheard as the panda rocketed forward and kicked him off his own pole and into a spring…
"Oh, Honored customer fall into spring of drowned Amazon Men! Tragic tale of Amazon men who run away from village 3000 years ago!"
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Two days travel from the spring, an ancient woman looked up as a set of bells began to chime in her hut. The bells signaled a bit of magic at a certain cursed spring.
Smiling, Cologne hobbled out of her hut to a group of assembled Amazon warriors who readied for patrol. "Look alive Grand Daughters! The Great Amazon Husband hunt is upon us!" Cheers erupted around her as they began the celebration of a great day in history.
It was actually their main source of new blood into the tribe. It wasn't every day that forty-two Amazon men were returned to the village. Just every century or so.
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TAKE 04
"Oh, honored customer fall into spring of drowned red nosed reindeer! Tragic Christmas tale of drunken deer that crash into pool last Christmas!"
SPLOOSH!
A reindeer flew out of the pool to land daintily back atop the bamboo pole over the spring. "Now that wasn't very nice…" It spoke with a nasally voice as its nose began to glow an angry red.
"Wha?" Ranma's coherent thoughts were cut short by a pair of antlers to the gut, sending him into the pool below.
"Oh dear!" The guide rushed over to the spring with the deer following him. "Young honored customer fall into spring of drowned Snowman! Tragic Christmas tale of Snowman who fall off drunken deer last Christmas!"
Slowly, a silk top hat and corn cob pipe floated to the surface of the pool. The guide looked over at the horrified expression on the deer. "Sorry?" He offered.