I got bored again… . . …
Yeah that's it *shrug*
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"So can I go now?" Neji asked Hiashi.
Hiashi up and down "will you remember what I told you?"
"A minute on the lips is a lifetime on the hips…?" Neji replied.
"NO THE OTHER THING!" Hiashi yelled.
"Don't trust strange men that want me to get in a van with candy unless it's a willy wonka bar?" Neji replied raising a brow.
"NO- well yes… BUT NO! You have to marry Tenten now that she's pregnant" Hiashi explained.
"Oh that" Neji shrugged "whatever, just get me out of here"
Oh how he had missed the sun. The beautiful gorgeous being that was the sun. The light. The wonder. He had taken all the worlds happiness and beauty for granted.
Neji walked down the streets of Konoha in utter happiness. Nothing could ruin this. Nothing.
"HEY NEJI! I HEARD YOU KNOCKED UP TENTEN! NAME IT AFTER ME!"
He was wrong…
Neji turned around to face the blonde idiot, his eye twitched in frustration… After spending the entire day with Hiashi and having to put up with his utter stupidity making him want to do horrible, horrible things to Hiashi and almost drove him to the point of insanity. He didn't want to have to talk to this moron.
"Naruto" Neji muttered.
"Where did you go? By the way where's Tenten? AND OH MY GOD! GOOD NEWS!" Naruto screamed in Neji's face "I figured out which sock goes where"
Neji grit his teeth "Naruto" he said darkly "if I hear one more word come out of your mouth. I will take this penny" Neji took out a penny he had in his pocket "I will kill you with it. I will shove it so far up your ass you'll taste copper, after that I'll skin you with it. I will use a penny to skin you. I will slowly and painfully shove this penny into your eye. I will than suffocate it with you. You will still be alive. And at this point when you're practically dead anyway. I'll kick you. I will kick you and laugh. Then. And only THEN. I will put you out of your (and mine) misery. And kill you"
A moments silence passed.
Naruto blinked "… wait where did you get that penny? It's so shiny…"
Kakashi and Anko of somewhere…
"Yeah so apparently that's why Sai constantly talks about dick-"
"DEAR MOTHER OF GOD! NEJI! STOP! DEAR GOD! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRRYYYYYYYYYYYY!"
Anko and Kakashi looked at each other weirdly
"Did you just hear that?" Anko asked
To Naruto…
Tears ran down Naruto's face as he arm crawled across the stairs to his building using nothing but his pinkie finger and thumb. Sasuke Uchiha stood above him with raised eyebrow on the stairs staring down at the blonde crippled pile of yellow. He smirked.
"What happened to you dobe?" Sasuke asked.
"N-Neji… B-Bad… PENNY!" Naruto screamed.
Sasuke raised an eyebrow "… right…" He then smirked.
Sasuke leant down and grabbed Naruto's hands forcing them off the stairs with a sadistic smirk on his face.
"NO! SASUKE!" Naruto yelled in fear.
"Hey Naruto… Wanna hear a secret?" Sasuke asked him.
"Sure!" Naruto smiled eagerly.
Sasuke leant his mouth to Naruto's ear and whispered "I… killed… Mufasa"
"What?" was the last thing Naruto said before Sasuke let go letting the blonde fall to his doom… Ok not really, only a few steps in reality… But Naruto was crippled and he fell and passed out due to the slight fall…
Back to Neji…
Neji walked through the streets of Konoha, he was quite content with the way things had turned out… Now that he had experience true hell (Hiashi and Naruto's utter stupidity) he didn't take life for granted anymore.
Speaking of which… Where the hell was Tenten? He had to force her to get married to h- uh… ASK her to get married to him.
"Neji?" Tenten's familiar voice broke the silence.
"Hm? Tenten… There you are" Neji turned around to face Tenten. The mother of his child.
"Where have you been the last three days?" Tenten asked confused.
"Oh… I got kidnapped by Hiashi in his basement I think, where I was passed out for three days and when I awoke he interrogated me on my future plans and made me want to claw my eyes out with a pencil" Neji explained calmly.
"Cool" Tenten nodded "by the way, everyone knows I'm pregnant"
"okay" Neji commented "Anyway, Marry me"
"no" Tenten answered "now go buy me some ramen"
"What?" Neji was taken aback "why the hell not? I'm not good enough for you? THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAID UNDER THE HOTDOG STAND!"
Tenten rolled her eyes "it's not THAT! If you want to MARRY me! You're going to have to find a fancy and awesome way to propose. Not just 'marry me' I WANT YOU TO GET ON A CAR WITH BALOONS AND DECLARE TO THE WORLD YOU LOVE ME AND YOU WANT TO MARRY ME!"
"… But it's the ninja world, we have no cars… I can… go stand on a camel?" Neji answered.
Tenten rolled her eyes "JUST DO SOMETHING FANCY!"
Neji sighed "fine… But you're paying for the ramen"
"Speaking of ramen… Where's Naruto? I swear I heard his voice before"
Meanwhile with Naruto…
Sakura and Sasuke looked down at the crippled body.
"So what happened to him?" Sakura put her hand on her hip looking down at the mess of a man.
"Something about Neji and a penny" Sasuke shrugged.
"Huh… So why didn't you help him or call me earlier?" Sakura looked at the Uchiha.
Sasuke shrugged "its fun to watch him struggle"
"I'M THE RIGHTFUL KING!" Naruto yelled out suddenly clawing the air as Sasuke and Sakura raised a brow at the idiot.
"What's that about?" Sakura asked looking at Naruto.
Sasuke smirked "nothing…"
3 hours later…
Neji sat across Shikamaru's dad as they both played Shogi.
"Alright… So why did you call me here?" Shikamaru's dad asked the Hyuga.
"I suppouse you've heard the news already" Neji assumed "Tenten's pregnant"
"Wha-? Tenten? THE tenten? YOU got TENTEN- yeah I already knew" Shikamaru's dad shrugged "what of it?"
"Well… In order for Hiashi to stop annoying me. I need to marry her. In order to marry her I need to propose. I already did that… But it wasn't good enough… And since you're the only Naruto character I know who's married… How did you propose to Shikamaru's mum?" Neji explained.
Shikamaru's dad raised a brow…
"Well you see…"
Flash-
"Wait!" Neji interrupted him "are we going into a flashback?"
"Obviously. This is an anime. How do you think we keep the plot line going?" Shikamaru's dad scoffed.
Neji sighed "Alright… Let me get some popcorn"
"Anyway…" Shikamaru's dad continued.
Flashback…
Shikaku (AN: I just recently found out his name U.U) sat across from Yoshino in the fancy restaurant.
"Is this good?" Shikaku asked motioning to the restaurant.
"Yeah" Yoshino smiled.
"So now?" Shikaku asked.
"Now's good…" Yoshino answered.
Shikaku stood up dusting off his suit and got to Yoshino's left hand side on one knee, Yoshina looked at Shikaku with fake surprise.
"Wait no. Do it on the other side it has better light…" Yoshino ordered.
Shikaku sighed getting up and moving to her right side where he got down on one knee and took Yoshino's hand.
"Yoshino…" Shikaku started "Please tell me if I do anything wrong"
"I will" Yoshino nodded.
"Will you marry me?" Shikaku asked.
"Say it louder and with more love" Yoshino answered.
Shikaku fought the urge to face palm and hung his head low, he finally raised his head and with a louder voice said "will you marry me?"
"Where the fuck is the love Shikaku?" Yoshino glared at her future husband.
Shikaku sighed "Yoshino my dear wonderful beautiful hunk of a woman… Will you do the honour of marrying me?"
Yoshino studied Shikaku "OH DEAR YES! YES! YES! A THOUSAND TIMES YES!"
Everyone clapped as Yoshino put on her ring happily.
End of the flashback…
"You've got to be fucking kidding me…" Neji looked at the man with pity.
Shikaku shrugged "You gotta do what you gotta do to please the mrs"
"Yeah, but- … Ugh… I can never look at you the same way again… Fuck this shit… I'm leaving" Neji left in horror.
Shikaku only watched the young man leave with pity in his eyes… He would soon understand.
Neji and Kakashi…
"I honestly have no idea why I came to you…" Neji stated in confusion as he sat across Kakashi.
"Well… it's simple; you want my advice on proposing to Tenten" Kakashi explained.
"No I don't... You're not even married" Neji stated.
"I was once…" Kakashi muttered sadly as memories fludded his head.
"Uh… You were?" Neji looked at the man with doubt.
"Yeah…" Kakashi nodded "want to know how I proposed to her?"
"Sure"
"WELL…" Kakashi began.
Flashback…
Kakashi sat on the bench… Looking at her… God she was so beautiful. He wanted to hold her. And love her. And care for her. And make her make him a sandwich which would on result in him getting bashed.
"Kakashi? Why are you staring at her?" Shikaku asked raising a brow.
"She's so beautiful… I'm going to ask her to marry me… I finally know what love is" Kakashi answered smiling.
"Uh… Seriously?" Shikaku asked surprised "I hear Asuma's going to ask her to marry him" (AN: and no. This isn't Kurenai)
Kakashi's eyes widened "NO"
Kakashi ran to her. He ran and ran and ran until he couldn't run anymore (basically across the street to where she was standing)
He looked at her as she looked at him "Will you marry me?"
"What?" She asked surprised.
He grabbed her hand as his cheeks tinted pink and he smiled shyly "will you marry me?"
She smiled widely "OF COURSE"
Kakashi picked up the ring part of the coke can, and put it on her finger "we'll always be together"
"YEAH!" She grinned happily
End of flashback…
Neji blinked as Kakashi sighed remembering the happy memories…
"So what happened?" Neji asked "did she die or something?"
Kakashi shrugged "no… the next day we graduated kindergarten and it all went downhill from there" Kakashi suddenly looked angry "I swear she was swapping lollies with Inoichi"
Neji face palmed so hard he might've broken his nose.
Half an hour later…
What had been a few hours seemed more like days to Neji. He still had no idea how to propose to Tenten… What was he going to do?
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