A/N: There will be one more chapter to this. I know I have already used this song in another of my Anders/F!Hawke fics but it appealed to me while I was writing this too so I'm using it again. And again I do not own Dragon Age or anything thereof. Not for profit just for fun. Enjoy!

I have burned my tomorrow
And I stand inside today
At the edge of the future
And my dreams all fade away

And burn my shadow away
And burn my shadow away

Fate's my destroyer
I was ambushed by a lie
And you judged me once for falling
This wounded heart arrives

And burn my shadow away
And burn my shadow away

And burn my shadow away
Oh how I loved you

"Burn my Shadow"—Unkle

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"You have news for me Seeker?" She rises as I enter the room. Unusual for her and so very telling.

"Yes, your Grace." I stand straight hands clasped behind my back eyes forward the filth of the road still clinging to me. I am weary to my very core.

"The rebel took our bait did he?" She smirks. She thinks she's so clever. I want to wrap my fingers around her throat.

"Yes, your Grace." I knew he would as much as I'd hoped he wouldn't. I am an irresistible carrot.

Excitement burns in her eyes dark and fevered. "Where is he?"

There is a short sharp pain in my chest as my heart skips several beats.

"I can't let you go. Not this time."

"I know."

Do you know what it's doing to me?

"Dead. Your Grace." Like my honor. Like another piece of my soul.

"Dead?" Her tone takes an edge to rival any steel. Her body stiffens. The air vibrates.

"Yes, your Grace."

"Dead!" She slams her hands against the top of her desk with a crack like thunder.

I do not flinch. To do so now would mean a death sentence. Not just for me but for my Beth. "Yes, your Grace."

She inhales sharply and I can feel the atmosphere in the room change. I watch her from my peripheral. A brief but very intense battle flashes across her features. Then she is once again a paragon of calm control. "He was to be brought before me alive."

"Yes, your Grace. Unless he were to fight, your Grace. In which case we were given leave to defend ourselves however necessary." My stomach begins to churn. I am walking a very fine line here.

"Ah yes, of course." She begins pacing back and forth slow deliberate steps that take her from one end of her enormous desk to the other. "And so he attacked you?"

"Yes, your Grace. In the woods beyond the prison. I had tracked him there." I curl my toes into a fist and will myself not to flinch as I am bombarded with images.

He looks so much older. Worn. Ragged around the edges. And it's been so long. The look in his eyes as he places his life in my hands is almost too much for me to bear. Sweet blessed Andraste why?

"You were alone Seeker?" She stops pacing and places her hands on the desktop.

"Yes, your Grace." I keep my gaze forward. My breathing even.

"Is it a common practice for you to confront dangerous individuals without benefit of a second?" She looks up at me one eyebrow raised. I stare at the soft blue vein that bisects her forehead.

"No, your Grace. But I saw an opportunity and didn't want to lose it. I have been, as I'm sure you know, very ….. motivated of late and I felt the reward outweighed the risk." She tilts her head to the side and the corner of her mouth tilts up the smallest fraction. It's bonechilling. I've put my foot right on the line with that comment and she wants me to know it but, Makers breath I am tired of playing puppet.

"Where is the body?" She speaks low and even never taking her eyes from my face.

"Below, your Grace. In the dungeon where it's cold." In the makerforsaken dungeon. Back to where it all began. I am so ashamed. I feel…. I bite the inside of my cheek. The pain is instant and clarifying and serves to help me keep what little control I have left.

"Fitting." She straightens closing her eyes. The silence in the room is broken only by the sound of her breathing. Her nostrils flare with each deep exhalation.

"Do you have any idea what you have done?" She sits. Tents her fingers beneath her chin.

"I have done what was asked of me your Grace."

"Oh child you have done so much more. He will become a martyr to those fools." She rubs the center of her forehead with two fingers.

"Forgive me your Grace. I thought only of completing my mission. It was foolish of me to follow him alone." My left knee loosens the toll of the last few days finally catching up as the last of the adrenaline fades.

She barks out a laugh. "Very foolish indeed. I had hoped with your…intimate knowledge of the man that you might be able to persuade him into accepting our merciful justice. Instead you bring me a corpse. It seems I had misjudged the situation."

She studies me openly. Watching me for some sign that I am anything less than a completely loyal servant. I focus on the air flowing in and out of my lungs. The smell of embrium that permeates her quarters. The way the sun slants through the large widows behind her. Anything but the pain that threatens to rip me apart.

"I am ...disappointed. However, I'm sure I will find a way to turn even this to our advantage. You are dismissed."

That hurts. More than the hell that has been my life since I came to the chantry seeking a way to protect my sister. I am dismissed. I murdered the only man I have ever loved and the enormity of that is swallowed by the fact that this woman has to make do with only his corpse. Oh dear merciful Maker give me strength to stay my blades.

"Go home Serah Hawke. Your sister awaits you there." She waves me off.

"Thank you, your Grace." I force my body to bend into a show of respect even though I have already ceased to exist for her and retreat while I still have control of my hands.

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A/NII: Any constructive criticism is welcome. Inbox it please as I am always trying to improve. I use fanfiction to practice my writing skills for original works. Thanks!