Hey, Y'all! How are you doing? This is my redone, revamped second chapter. I hope you enjoy it!

It was a day like any other, spent not doing much more than sitting around and casting spells at my house so it would clean itself, while taking care of my daughter, Lily, who was very sick with Dragonpox. I was waiting for my husband, Sirius, to return from his job as an Auror. Little did I know that very shortly, my life would be turned upside down. This would be the day I would die.

Suddenly, the face of my beloved appeared in the fireplace.

"Hey, Sir," I said in the heavy, flirty voice I used quite often with him. "When are you getting home? I can't-" I immediately discarded my suggestive attitude when I saw the look on his face. It was grim, and he looked a touch scared. "What's wrong? What happened, Sirius?"

He bit his lip slightly, then said, "Harry has come to the Ministry."

I thought for a moment, "What is the problem with that?"

"He's gone to the Department of Mysteries."

"What? Why?"

"I believe he's come to save me."

"Are you all right? Did something happen?" I stood up from my chair and moved closer to the fire.

"Calm down, Rissy. I'm perfectly fine."

"Well then, why would he come to save you?"

"That's the thing. He must've thought I wasn't in good condition for some reason."

"I'm coming. Right now."

"No, Riss. Don't you dare. You have to stay here and take care of Lily."

"I'll take her to my mum. She can take care of her."

"No. I don't want you to get hurt, which you might if you come here. Stay there. I'll be home shortly. I love you." He smiled and locked gazes with me for a moment.

I smiled in return, "I love you, too. Be careful."

"I will be."

There was a heavy knock at my front door. I should have known that Sirius would never use the door to enter the house after work, for he always apparated home. My brain was too pumped up on adrenaline from worry and desire to see him again that I couldn't think correctly.

I opened the door and began speaking in a way much similar to that of the beginning of our fireside conversation. "You kept me waiting. I think you owe m-" I was startled into silence as I realized it was not Sirius who was standing in front of me.

It was Remus.

I cleared my throat and my voice normalized. "Oh, hello Re-" The sight of face stopped my speech in its tracks.

His face held a haunted, desolate look, the depths of which I had never beheld on a human face before. "Rissa." He said, in a hoarse voice.

"No. No. No. No!" I said. I knew what had happened, but I couldn't believe it.

"I'm so sorry, Rissa." I began to fall and Remus barely managed to catch me before I hit the ground.

"Is he really?" I could not bring myself to say it. That would make his death seem more real, something that I was unable to accept.

"Please, no. How could this happen? No. This has not happened. Why would you lie to me, Remus?" I rounded on him, still in his arms, quietly as I usually was with Sirius.

"I'm not lying, Rissa." He replied. He clipped my name and clenched his jaw as his eyes filled with tears.

"How could you?" I repeated, yelling this time. I began to sob, heart wrenching sobs. After all, my heart was being torn from my body. My body involuntarily shifted to hands and knees and Remus kept his hand around my waist.

I heard soft sounds on the staircase and heard a quiet, pained voice ask, "What's wrong with Mum?"

"Your mum just received some very bad news. You should probably go upstairs now."

I saw Lily shaking her head at Remus out of the corner of my eye. She said, "I won't leave my mum like this."

I spoke with extreme difficulty, barely understandable through the veil of tears, "Lily, go upstairs. Now. I need to speak with Remus alone."

She finally left the room, leaving it feeling more cold and dark than ever.

After quite some time of sobbing, I asked the question that I had wanted to ask, but had at the same time had not wanted to know the answer, "How did it happen?"

He hesitated, obviously unsure whether or not he could tell me, but said, "In the Department of Mysteries, there is a room with a gigantic archway, which holds a veil. The veil is a passageway to death. Someone hit him was a curse as he was in front of the archway. The force of the blast pushed him through the veil. As soon as a person touches that wretched veil, they die."

I let out a sob, but my voice was hard. "Who?"

He looked even more hesitant, "Bellatrix Lestrange."

My body convulsed as I heard the news. I whispered, almost to myself, "His cousin. How could someone hurt their own cousin. How?" I spoke much louder as continued to speak to myself, "No. No. No. Nothing happened. Nothing at all. Sirius will be along in a moment. He will be home soon. Nothing is wrong."

Remus' face held a look of concern. "Rissa, something did happen. Sirius is not coming along, he is not coming back. I'm sorry for being so frank, but I am concerned about you not being willing to accept the truth."

"I don't understand why you would talk about your best friend like that." I was very, uncharacteristically, angry. I stood, stumbled to the couch, and slumped onto it.

Remus, exacerbated, ran to the fireplace, "I am going to have Tonks come over. She can help."

A few minutes later, Tonks emerged from the fireplace. As I soon as I saw her mousy brown hair and sad look, a fresh wave of tears hit me.

I tried to sit up as Tonks sat next to me, but I was too weak. My head ended up in her lap.

"I am so sorry, Rissa. I-I just can't quite express to you how awful I am feeling right now, but I know you feel a million times worse. Let me and Remus to stay with you for a few days."

I sobbed even stronger, if possible, than before. "No," I cried, "I want Sirius. I need him."

"Rissa," Tonks was very firm, "Sirius is dead. You cannot have him except in your heart."

"You are all nutters. Of course I can have him. He will walk through that fireplace in just a few moments." I feebly pointed at the aforementioned item.

I did almost nothing that night, but mourn. After Lily's repeated questioning, I decided it was time to tell her what had happened.

Lily sat on the couch across from me, looking concerned and apprehensive, yet still very prim as she always was.

Remus and Tonks sat on either side of me, lightly holding hands behind my back.

"What's happened? Where's Dad? What's going on?" Lily's questions came rapid fire.

"Your father is…" I struggled for a moment but a look from Tonks gave me strength. "Your father has been k-k-killed."

Her face fell and she slipped onto the floor in front of me, leaning on my legs facing me. "What?"

Suddenly, the fire burned green and James appeared. He took one look at me and ran upstairs. He came back downstairs a moment later, pulling a trunk behind him.

I found my voice, "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to the Weasley's." He replied.

Remus stood. "James. Look at your mother." James was obedient. "She needs you. You can't leave."

James stepped forward and looked Remus in the eye. "I. Don't. Care." He fled in to the fire.

I began to cry and Tonks gently rubbed my back as she said quietly to Remus, "Anger is a major stage of grief. It'll hopefully wear off in a few days."

For the next few days, I did nothing but mourn the love of my life.

Sirius is in front of me, so close I can almost touch him. I reach my hand out to grab his arm. My arm is just a touch too short. I stretch, but he remains just out of my grasp. Sirius was as youthful and happy as he had been before he disappeared. He shakes his head and mouths something to me, unable to speak. I read it as, "No, Rissy. You can't have me. I am gone, forever. Let go. Let go." As he finishes speaking, he begins to disappear. I open my mouth to yell for him to come back, but as is common in the dream world, no sound would come out. I moved to catch him, but he moved as well. A moment later, he disappeared from my sight.

I screamed and sat bolt upright. Trying to console myself, I whispered, "It's ok, Riss. It's just a dream." Suddenly, the door to our bedroom burst open and Tonks and Remus appeared. When they realized that nothing was seriously wrong with me, they slipped back out of the room. I lay crying. This was the first night I had slept in eight days. After I composed myself, I quietly opened our door and went downstairs.

I spied my best friends at our kitchen table, speaking in hushed voices, through the cracked door. They immediately stopped talking when I entered the room. I had a feeling they were speaking about me. Remus stood up and pulled a chair out for me to sit in. Tonks stood up as well, asking, "Wotcher, Rissa. Would you like me to get you something to eat? I'll make anything you want."

"No, thank you. I'm not hungry."

"Well, how about some water?"

"No, thank you." I replied with extreme dislike.
"Rissa. You haven't eaten anything in eight days! You have only drunk water because I forced it upon you. I don't care if you are still in mourning. That doesn't mean I'm going to let you die, too." Her voice was shrill and her words stung.

I felt tears falling, though I had not noticed them building. I had to get out of there, at least away from those who I had once thought were my friends.

I ran out of the kitchen and sought refuge in our master bedroom bathroom. I glimpsed my reflection in the mirror, and it enticed me to look more fully.

I looked horrid. My hair was a rat's nest, messily pulled back into a ponytail. I had deep bags under my eyes. My face and eyes were red and puffy from crying, and my cheeks were also tear stained.

I felt disgusted with myself. I suddenly realized what Tonks had been trying to tell me. I looked absolutely hideous. At the same time, I had no real desire to change. I used to pride myself on my appearance. Now, since Sirius disappeared, I couldn't bring myself to change.

Life is defined as what separates us from inorganic and dead organisms, the ability to adapt and change. I had nearly lost that ability. My family should have been bound more tightly together due to our grieving, but they had pulled away. My life was falling apart. I was dying.

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