And now it's time for Hype Reviews with Mikey M. Hype.

Tonight's Review…

"War with the Zodiacs" by Nukid

I burst onto the scene, excitedly, as I shouted…

"OH MY GOSH! This is the GREATEST fanfic I've ever read in my life!"

I stifled a laugh before beginning the review. "This fanfic is SO FUNNY! It's like the funniest fic I ever read!"

"So," (snigger) "So, there's this group of people called the Author Fighters and they fight against these beings called 'Darksides'."

"Oh, the look on their faces when they realize how many times THAT name's been used on fanfiction!"

"So, the Author Fighters go to this museum where they hear that the Darksides are going to raid for this artifact." I laughed a good bit, "I mean, where it came from or what the heck people are doing in possession of these dangerous artifacts never came to mind. THAT adds to the comedy!"

"So, they beat up all these 'Jake Long: American Dragon' guys until this other guy named Nukid comes in. And..." (snicker), "He beats them all up even though there are like a bajillion of them in one place!"

"So, this one Author Fighter hits him with that stare from Ghost Rider. And Nukid is like..."

"Huh. I've seen the worst."

"PFFBTH! It's funny because he claims to have seen what's beyond death and that all his beliefs have been proven false! NOBODY would be cool after that!"

"So, the leader of the Darksides, named after a Duck Dodgers villain is like..."

"I have become God, even though in other fics, I am the lowest of the low and, in a sense am not God who created something from nothing."

"So, he creates these Darksides from his blood and they all look like various animals of the Chinese Zodiac."

"What inspired this, a placemat at a Chinese Restaurant?" I ask with a laugh.

"And so all these Author Fighters do battle with a few of them at first, but all the while, Nukid keeps getting in their way while promoting Trigun, No More Heroes, and loads of other pretentious stuff!"

"So, he goes around and he's like..."

"Superpowers and weapons are for lame idiots like you, even though I can do things no real human can do and sort of have powers in future fanfictions. Oops! SPOILERS!"

"Then we also get this flashback that takes you away from the story to rub his ego. Oh, and he has a girlfriend who is killed." I laughed, then said, "Oh my gosh, that's been used a ba-jillion other times and it's STILL hilarious to read!"

"So, there's another girl and Nukid's all like..."

"Life sucks because my girl died." I said, sounding overly-emo.

"Y'know, I'm her sister." I said in a more feminine voice.

"Really?" I said, sounding more hopeful.

(Pretending to make out with someone)

"What follows is several chapters of the Author Fighters going out and fighting all these animals until this other. And, for some reason, the author thinks that the strongest animals are the monkey, snake, and rooster."

I chuckled. "How on earth does someone think that something without limbs, a chicken, and a hairy creature that scratches its butt all day be the most powerful animals in the Zodiac?"

"So then this super-powerful Darkside comes in and starts beating the crap out of one of their 'strongest teams'."

"And they..." I stifled a laugh, "And they beat him with a team attack, even though all of them barely did anything in the past before! OH MY GOSH! THAT'S HILARIOUS!"

"So, we go on to the stronger members of the Zodiac and, when Nukid reaches the rooster fight, he..." I held in a laugh to regain myself, "He starts writing this admiration for the guy fighting him! Gay humor at its BEST!"

"Before all this, Nukid is having nightmares about some villain painting bloody pictures and his name is..." I held up a hand as though saying "hold on", trying to get the laugh out of my system, "OLDKID!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH MY GOSH! This guy's trying to be all serious, but being so STUPID!"

"And then Nukid goes to fight the monkey and gets manga/anime cliche #489: UNEXPLAINED POWER GAINAGE! He's now twice as strong as he used to be without ANY transition!"

"So, after getting beat down by the monkey a little, he has this vision that goes into ANOTHER cliche! A message from beyond the grave! AH-HAHAHAHAHA!"

"And so, the now-inspired Nukid takes down the monkey and fights the head of the Darksides who's supposed to be a whimp elsewhere and he's like..."

"I'm a humble and just author, but I can fight this guy to a standstill (maybe even have an advantage), thus making you all SAPS!"

"But Drake tricks him and extracts Oldkid..." I coughed to hide a laugh at the name, "And Oldkid is all like..."

"Religion SUCKS! And that's what Nukid thinks. Don't let any other words fool you!"

"Ah, unfair religion bashing! What would media be without you?"

"And so, three MORE super-powerful Darksides show up and beat up even the strongest members of the Author Fighters! And what do they do? Vow to get stronger in one year so they can beat them!"

"And so," I held in a laugh, "Nukid, he..." I held in another one, "He pulls another cliche while trying to be cool and JOINS THE AUTHOR FIGHTERS!"

I burst out laughing at the end. "Like we ALL didn't see THAT coming! Oh my gosh was that funny! I mean it! War with the Zodiacs is the FUNNIEST fanfic EVER! ONE HUNDRED STARS! IT'S..."

(beep)

I peered at my laptop. "Oh...hold on a sec..."

(Please Stand By)

"Okay, I have just gone through twenty-nine E-mails telling me that I'm stupid and that War with the Zodiacs is NOT a comedy. It is, in fact, an anime-like epic fanfiction...I am most be-doozled."

I scratched my head in confusion. "Really? There are people that take this seriously?"

"O-kay, this is the greatest ANIME-LIKE EPIC fanfiction I've ever read in my life!"

"I can see why people call this one of the greatest works out there! It trash-talks religion for no real reason other than the sake of it and EVERYONE loves it when people do that!"

"Except for 'Golden Compass'..."

"The 'Clash of the Titans' remake..."

"And...anything by Richard Dawkins."

"And the whole dang story is the hero's fault and people love THAT in media!"

"Except for 'X-Men 3'..."

"James Cameron's 'Avatar'..."

"And anything having to do with 'Twilight'..."

"And it's nothing more than an ego-rub for the creator and EVERYONE loves it when people do that!"

"Except for Christian Weston Chandler..."

"Tommy Wiseau..."

"Uwe Boll..."

"And just about every self-insertion fanfiction."

"But it also includes lots of anime and video games which...just about every crossover fanfic has done!"

"And it's filled to the brim with hypocrisy...which has gotten TONS of hate among fanfiction-goers."

"And it talks up people in a very confusing and somewhat-wrong way...Lord KNOWS if anyone likes that!"

I paused, tapping my chin.

"Why do people think this is the greatest fanfiction ever? All this came from some of the WORST movies, books, comics, and games out there!"

"Hmm..." I thought, then an idea hit, "Oh, wait, I KNOW! Many people like this because of the mindlessly-fun action scenes, the inclusion of their self-inserts, and its resemblance to anime. It's not like it needs an enjoyable story, less-pretentious themes, and worship of one's self and beliefs to be true and that everyone else is stupid."

"This is Mikey M. Hype saying...CASH!" I said, picking up a cup and rattling its contents, "Oh, c'mon! The sign says 'Will Review for Cash'! C'mon, CASH! I can make a fic like this only ten times as pretentious and ego-rubbing...What? He already DID IT!"

Seriously, though, the guy blatantly insults his friends, talks himself up and doesn't shut up when someone points it out, and is the cause for this whole freakin' mess of a storyline and people actually think this fic is good? He didn't take into account the members of his team who are religious, have inserts that use powers and weapons, and instead wastes time making himself look like God? The hero should feel guilt for starting this whole freakin' mess of a story, but no, he's too stupid or too into his own image to feel that. He needs to get help fa-man, I write too much.