Chapter 2: Living up to reality

Disclaimer: Mine? HAHAHA, you're funny. Do you really think I own them if I write a story about them? Seriously would MGM be so mad if I didn't put this thing up? I mean this is so obviously my work and not MGM's and although I'd very much like to steal the characters and claim them as my own, I can't. Cause although I'm screwing with their minds and bending them to my will. They're still MGM's and that fact alone sucks. Oh, and I get no money for doing this either. So, chill out MGM.

A/H: Sooo, sorry this one took me forever to put up. I've actually had this chapter rotting away on my hard drive for over a week. I simply haven't had time to update it. School's been hectic and well I wouldn't call it fun. But it's okay, I guess. Gives me something to do other than freaking out all over the place, because I simply don't know what I want to study after i'm done with this school. And basically I'm screwed. Maybe I should become a writer… I'd love to write fantasy books! Although I'm probably not good enough, so there goes that idea out the window. --Sigh-- Anyway, here I present to you…---Drum Ruffle-- Chapter 2!!! Enjoy it! Cause my next update is probably gonna take a while.

"Thera." He softly whispered, slowly brushing a few strands of blonde hair from her face.

The only answer her body gave was a slight stir against his chest but her eyes remained closed, her features relaxed and unguarded. No worries clouded her face, none whatsoever. And he decided that a few more moments of sleep probably wouldn't cause the devil to arise and claim them as his sinners. He watched her sleeping form with a feeling of intense satisfaction.

Had he ever shared such a moment with her like this before? In which she'd had no knowledge of him just watching her?

He'd like to think he had. Mesmerized by how all her worries and cares seemed to have just disappeared as she lay huddled against him. One arm draped across his chest the other raised above her head where her fingers lay twined with his.

Just a few more moments and he would have to wake her up.

He already regretted the act. But that was what they had agreed upon. Knowing that if Brenna found out about what they really were doing in the darkest corners of the facility, one of them would probably get transferred back to the mines.

It was funny really. Although he was starting to remember more about his life before the mines, with each passing day. Images, words, moments, feelings. They all seemed to tell him that what Thera and he were doing was out of line, not permitted. And Brenna only seemed to enhance that feeling of forbiddances. As though she knew something was going on, but didn't have proof that could back up her theory. Then again, he and Thera had been very careful. Not once had they been caught or seen together in more than a professional manner. But that was what they had agreed upon.

They all knew the rules and although being romantically involved with another worker wasn't forbidden, they needed permission. Getting permission wasn't easy and if you didn't get it a transfer would be put into motion, separating said couple. He'd discussed the option with

Thera, and they'd both agreed that secrecy was the best option in their case. And so it had been for the past couple of weeks now.

A low mumble suddenly left Thera's lips and she stirred against him a second time. Only this time her eyes opened of its own accord. Gazing straight into his watchful stare.

"Hey."

"Back at ya."

He smiled, threading his fingers through her hair again. Earning him another soft satisfied mumble as she closed her eyes, blinked and re-opened them.

He knew she realized it was time to wake up and go back to the side of the facility that was set off with bunks that were to be considered beds, their beds. He supposed luxury could have been described differently, but then again he shouldn't be complaining, it was not like he had known any different either, had he? He wasn't sure, the only thing he knew was that at some point in his life he must have known what luxury had been. Just like he knew Homer had played an important part in helping him relax. Whomever the hell Homer was anyway.

He sighed, earning him a questioning look from Thera.

Oh, well at least they slept near each other, that was the only comfort he had of making sure nothing could happen to her. Although she undoubtedly loathed the fact that he was being so overly protective of her. But he had seen the scum that walked around the plant. He had seen things happen no one ever mentioned to Brenna. And if he wanted to keep his position he'd also better keep his mouth shut about those happenings, not that he liked it one bit, but he had Thera to consider and although she was one hell of a tough cookie, she was also considered weaker than those bulldozers whom biased around the plant all day long, grunting incoherent words and looking like hit men's. Then again he supposed their brains to be very tiny.

"We have to go."

"I know." He smiled. But neither of them moved.

Instead Thera let her fingers travel up his face and touched the lines that spoke of stories unravelled and unremembered.

He caught her fingers and playfully held them up, his own fingers travelling the side of her arm, and stopped at her shoulder blade, where is got replaced by his lips and he softly brushed her flesh, earning him a light shiver from Thera.

"Jonah, we have to go." She repeated, her frustrated sigh didn't go unnoticed and he made no effort to stop his teasing exploration. He knew she would let him continue for a few more minutes. Putting off the inevitable.

Yes, Thera was good at doing just that, belaying the inevitable. But he also knew that the inevitable was called the inevitable because belaying it was all that could be done about it. And therefore he gradually let her go, giving her time to change back into the grim working cloths, they all but showered in.

He did the same, knowing he should go back too, however reluctant he felt about that. He knew Karlan was having some concerning suspicions about Jonah's motives for leaving the dorm every night. And somehow the guy always exactly knew when he and Thera returned. Still he hadn't reported their little late night outings, to Brenna, which in his book meant that Karlan could be trusted.

Picking up his discharged sweater he pulled it over his head in one swift movement.

"What?"

He asked, as he caught Thera's eyes the moment his head reappeared and he started readjusting the cap on his head that had come with the outfit. When had he actually received the outfit?

"Nothing." She shook her head and broke her gaze away from his. But he had caught the changing glow in her features. And turned her face back, his fingers lingering on her chin.

"What?" He repeated his question. And this time her face broke into a smile and she slowly rested her head against his, in a now familiarized way.

"It's silly really." She told him, nervously looking at the space between his shoulder and neck.

"Silly? You? That's unimaginable!"

"Hey! I can be silly." She insultingly pulled her head from his and stared him down with a penetrating look that told him she only half meant the seriousness in which she had spoken.

"Of course you can." And before she could reply to his humorous sarcastic answer, he pulled her closer, his lips against her ear, whispering soft words that caused her to shiver a second time and close her eyes.

His lips hovered closer to hers, and before he could bring in a protesting; 'we really should be going now'. She'd already closed the lingering gap between their mouths and was teasingly exploring the outer lines of his lips with the tip of her tongue.

"Thera." He groaned. The sound muffled by their closeness. He did not favour the idea of pulling back and putting a stop to whatever they were intend on doing a second time that evening. But knowing that everyone was due for breakfast without the next hour, he pulled away.

"Spoil sport." She sighed as he kept her at arms length.

He laughed at the irony of the situation. Were it not for Brenna he wouldn't have cared about the rules, Thera had set for them. But in fact they made sense. And although he'd rather spend the whole night with her and wake up next to her at his side, he knew circumstances did not allow such luxury. Again that word luxury. Where was Homer when you needed him?

Taking her by the hand he let them back to the safety of the bunks and sleeping workers. Only letting go of her when he knew for sure she was save of prying eyes that lingered between unguarded corners. The men around here were not stupid. Giving into their desires was forbidden. But did that prevent them from doing it? He sure as hell had ignored the ground rules. He was sure the other guys cared just as must about those rules as he'd liked to cross them. So just to be on the save side and against Thera's protesting demands; that she could take care of herself, he went with her until he knew for sure she was safe.

"Thera?"

A familiar voice from behind her caught Sam's attention and she slowly turned around to see Kegan looking at her from a side corridor she'd passed moments before. Having been too lost in thought she hadn't noticed the woman's approach and although she had managed to avoid Kegan ever since she had come back with them and the other workers through the Stargate it seemed avoidance wasn't working out for her today.

"Kegan." She stated.

Her voice sounding flat, even to her. But to be honest she'd never been all that fond of Kegan anyway. Examining the woman's appearance more closely, Sam noted, Kegan was wearing one of the SGC's standard military BDU's. They looked unusual. And although Kegan's appearance had certainly improved, meaning she'd probably had a warm shower and wasn't smelling of sweat and gravel all day long anymore, she still looked out of place and foreign.

"It's Sam." She finally stated, feeling the need to correct the person in front of her.

A confused look graced Kegan's face for a moment.

"Sam?"

"It's my name, Major Samantha Carter."

"That's a mouth full." The woman stated. The hostility in which she had once spoken to Sam, or rather Thera, gone. But to call it friendly would have been an understatement.

"Listen I have a lot of work that needs to be done, did you want to talk about anything specific or are you just here to mock me?"

Kegan's eyes darkened. And Sam knew she had once again stepped on the darker woman's pride. But at the moment she couldn't care less. Her emotions being as they were, already on the verge of breaking, she didn't give a damn about Kegan's feelings.

"This was a bad idea." She heard the woman mutter under her breath and Sam felt she couldn't agree more. An overwhelming feeling of to just walk away, possessed her for a moment but when Kegan's next words cut into the icy atmosphere surrounding them, Sam decided to listen to whatever the ex-worker had to say.

"I wanted to thank you."

Surprised Sam raised an eyebrow and curiously crossed her arms in front of her.

"Thank me? For what?" She coldly replied, giving Kegan the benefit of the doubt.

"For feeling so damn superior. If it hadn't been for you and the others we would still be working down at the underground facility, never knowing the truth. So, I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I appreciate what you did."

Silence enveloped the two women for a moment, as Sam dumbfounded stared at the reluctance in Kegan's eyes. Although the apology had seemed rather strained even forced to the point of utter unwillingness, and besides the fact that the idea had Daniel, written all over it, she had to admit that she admired Kegan's courage.

After all, they both had been arch nemesis from the moment Sam had voiced her ideas about improving the plant. Those ideas had gone way beyond Kegan's simple take of life down under. To be honest if memory served her right, Kegan reminded Sam of the popular kids in her class during her high school years. She'd had the same effect on those people, so Kegan's reluctance hadn't really come as a complete surprise. Even if the memory stamp had prevented her from recalling her high school memories. She'd recognized the feeling. Apparently that had been the only thing the memory stamp hadn't been able to erase. Feelings. She forced down the thought.

"You're welcome." She knew she probably would never really like Kegan and the chance of them meeting again in this life time would be very slim. But she accepted her apologies and she could only hope Kegan could look through her own reluctance for a few moments and she the sincerity in which Sam had spoken. She had meant it.

"Yeah, well pass my apologies along to Jonah if you'd like, me and the other workers are leaving this afternoon. It appears your people have found a suitable world for us to live."

Sam's features suddenly hardened. An act she hoped Kegan hadn't picked up on. Jonah. She hadn't heard the name in a week and although she unsuccessfully had been trying to forgot 'Jonah' ever since they got back. The fact someone still knew what he had represented to her, hit her like a lightning bolt. Kegan had known, Kegan had observed. And like many other workers; Kegan hadn't cared.

"I'll be sure to inform Colonel O'Neill of your apologies." She swallowed down her emotions, genuinely feeling confident Kegan hadn't noticed her little switch in attitude. And as Sam was about to leave the corridor and the uninvited vulnerability that had arisen deep within her a second time that week. Kegan's questioning voice suddenly filled her senses.

"Colonel O'Neill?" She unsurely asked. God, the woman really wasn't the brightest crayon in the can, now was she? Sam observed. Swallowing her bitterness she simply nodded again.

"'Jonah' was merely the personality the Colonel had been stamped with back on P3R-118 His real name is Colonel Jack O'Neill."

"I see." Kegan answered, realization travelling through her features. Yet Sam supposed she was hidding her question about what P3R-118 really was behind a façade of smiles.

"Well, I should go."

Kegan uncomfortable nodded, and pointed toward the corridor behind her.

"See what Karlan is up to."

Sam suppressed the urge to sigh as she nodded her head for what felt like the hundred time that day. And saw Kegan disappear behind a group of SF's heading her way.

"Major, you're needed in the control room, General Hammond's requesting your assistance."

He spotted them in a far off corner, working side by side, although Jonah had merely been studying her expression with a longing gaze for some while now. Thera on the other hand seemed to be hypnotised by something Jonah liked to call her newest 'Doohickey'

"Jonah, back off." Thera spoke in a semi-serious voice. Masterly hiding her smile, as she pushed his hand away from the device she was studying.

They didn't fool him for a second. He'd noticed since the very beginning. He knew how protective he was of her and from the sidelines probably he'd always been. He felt happy for them, although he wasn't sure why they were being so secretive about it toward him. It wasn't like he would tell on them.

But then there was the concern of not knowing who they really were. And maybe that was why they kept it a secret from him. Much the same why he'd kept his closeness with Kegan to himself. He wasn't even sure what he and Kegan had. A mutual friendship of some kind? One that sometimes went beyond friendship? Yet he couldn't shake the feeling of sharing a bond with someone else. Someone he'd lost and had loved, still loved, much more than he cared for Kegan.

Looking at Jonah and Thera he realized he must have had something similair with someone else. Someone he had lost a long time ago. A memory of a woman and him, glowing eyes, agonizing screams.

He shook the thoughts from his head. Approaching the couple in front of him. They hadn't noticed him getting closer and he sincerely doubted they would even notice a herd of approaching elephants in their current state of unfaltering stares.

He stopped for a moment as he observed how Jonah slowly crept closer to Thera and wickedly enveloped her in an intimate hug. She briefly protested against it, but melted in his embrace the moment Jonah dropped his face to her throat.

Then he turned around, believing that the rest of the moment his two friends were sharing weren't for his prying eyes to see. He stalked off walking away from the secrets he kept from Brenna, knowing they would do the same in his position. Yet he wondered why, whenever he saw Jonah and Thera together, images of sandstorms and black hair consumed his own thoughts and filled his heart with sadness.

Tic….

Tic….

Tic, tic, tic…

Tic….

"Could you please stop that."

Tic…

Tic, tic, tic…

"Jack!"

"What?"

"Stop that!"

"What?"

"That thing you're doing!" Daniel irritably motioned with his hands to the source of his discomfort.

"Oh,…sorry." looking down at the pen in his hand, Jack realized he'd absentmindedly been tapping it against the briefing room table for the past minute and a half. His team having been cleared for duty two days ago, were all seated around the table, awaiting Hammond's further instructions for their next off world mission.

The air that hang in the room felt thick and weighed heavily on his mind. He hoped Hammond would hurry up and brief them so they could get the hell out of here. And do whatever they were supposed to do on this standard but boring recon mission. Then again, boring was good. He welcomed boring after what he and his team had been through on P3R-118.

He did not dare let his mind linger on the memories, instead he coughed up the guts to glance in his 2IC's direction, something he'd been avoiding doing all morning but knew to be inevitable.

What he saw, slightly worried him. Although Carter was still avoiding his eyes, like she had done all morning. He silently noticed how she tensed under his scrutiny and he knew she had noticed his observant gaze, examining her features. Reminding him that nothing went unnoticed by Sam Carter. Thera had been no different. Always observant, hesitant, thinking every detail through.

But although she had noticed his gaze the rest of her, looked sleep deprived, and if he hadn't known better he probably wouldn't even have noticed the extra lines, worry lines that had appeared on her face and darkened her features. Lines that hadn't been there a week ago and as though the thought burned him he swiftly looked away. Pushing away the memory that a week ago had been so very real. Not anymore. Not ever.

"Good morning, SG-1."

Jack startled out of his reverie as the sudden voice that filled the room cut into the deafening silence. Silence. He inwardly snickered at the thought. How uncommon for the most lively team in the whole of the SGC to be silent. Yet they were. For the past five minutes, since he'd entered the briefing room; Daniel had been engrossed in one of his 'history' books. But the archaeologist had merely seemed to have been staring at the pages, lost in deep thought. The same could be said for Teal'c, but the Jaffa's expression had remained as neutral as always. No emotions flickered across his face as he stonily stared at his hands on the table, making him wonder whether the Jaffa was thinking about something serious or just pondering the fact what kind of desert he should be eating after dinner. Jack guessed it to be the first.

Carter's expression however had been the one that hadn't changed since his arrival. The only inclination he had of making sure she had noticed him enter was, when her features

had noticeably hardened the moment he'd entered the room.

If General Hammond noticed the absent state in which his best team appeared to be in, he didn't let it affect his mood. Instead he sat down, seemingly satisfied as he placed the mug of coffee he was holding on the table beside him and started addressing the people in front of him.

"It's good to see you're all back in good health."

"Well, it's good to be back, sir." Jack nodded putting on a smile for the occasion. Daniel beside him nodded his agreement, but remained silent. Teal'c merely inclined his head once more and Carter,… Carter remained silent. Staring down at the papers in front of her with a far of look in her eyes. It concerned him, it concerned him more than her appearance. He knew Carter, she'd looked like hell before. But she'd never let that affect her ability to do her job, always eager to make a difference. Today her eagerness was gone, replaced by something Jack could only describe as a soldiers defeat.

As Hammond started the briefing and dragged Daniel and Teal'c along with him in the conversation, Jack tried to listen to the words that got idly spoken by the archaeologist, the brief inclinations Teal'c gave and to lighten the mood he, himself threw in a sarcastic remark every now and then. Hoping that Hammond didn't notice he was only listening to half of what the men were saying, the other half of his thoughts lay across the table from him where his eyes got once again drawn to Carter's absentminded appearance. She still hadn't spoken a word. Mesmerized by the briefing table, yet the far off gaze told him she probably didn't even notice she was looking at it and when emotion after emotion flickered across her features he knew exactly where her thoughts lay. Light-years from the briefing.

Suddenly she looked up, startled when she noticed he'd been studying her. She flushed slightly redder when neither she nor he looked away, and although the knowledge that he had such an effect on her used to thrill him to no extent, now made him feel miserable.

Her features hardened and his expression darkened.

The room fell silent.

And both soldiers looked away. Harshly reminded of the reality of the situation, What they once had shared could never be more.