Mornings on Serenity were not something Jayne usually saw, as he had a tendency to oversleep a bit. Okay, a lot. But Phase 1, Stage 1 required he be up. Tiredly, he dragged hisself into the mess and set up the coffee maker. Ruttin' girl better like this.

He pondered last night on the right way to go about this seduction thing. He'd never done it before. Since, he'd always bought his time. That ensured the women came easy and stayed as long as he could pay them to. Clearly that weren't of any use to him 'cause his usual adventures weren't 'bout love. So, he'd thought on it for a bit. Everything kept soundin' wrong in his head, though. Then it hit upon him that it seemed logical like to do everything backwards… well, for him. Maybe that was what was forwards for everyone else, but that much reverse logical thinkin' had made his head hurt a bit.

As a start, he'd worked up a list of things he generally avoided and figured that's what he'd do. Originally, it had been comprised almost completely of sneaky little roundabout ways of tellin' her he liked her: sly glances at mealtimes, all nice and planned out; also a lot of hand holdin' and poetry… but that got scrapped after he realized he prob'ly didn't wanna make her fall fer some guy weren't even remotely like him. Prob'ly a bad plan. So he'd crumpled the list into a ball and lit it on fire. He'd shuddered at the thought of someone finding that. If not because he might get his balls handed to him right ruttin' quick, then because he'd be so embarrassed he'd just have to leave this ship. The new list was better. Very honest, very Jayne.

He'd had trouble at first, but after an hour or so, he'd hit on the gold—the small stuff. Things he could do for her, say to her. Things they could do together. Even a few conversation starters. By the time he'd hit the sack, he was gorram proud of himself. The very first item on his agenda was the one that made him the most nervous, but he was gonna get it out of the way first an' not waste time pussyfootin' around the subject. Although there weren't no reason to outright scare the girl, so he was gonna ease into it.

He'd figured first to make coffee for the two of them, but then he remembered that River didn't drink coffee. He had a vague recollection of it happening once and the captain banning her from it on account of how jumpy she got. So orange juice it was. Not real orange juice, but Jayne had a trick or two up his sleeve. He'd figured it out a while back, but kept it a secret. If you took two protein flavors packs, sweet and tart, very standard, and mixed them almost equally, then added just the right amount of water, the result tasted exactly like fresh squeezed orange juice. Course, it ended up being bright pink in color. An' that's why he never let anyone see him drinking it.

He fetched the packets out of the cupboards along with a mug and a tall glass. After a couple minutes the coffee maker had automatically turned itself off, and Jayne poured himself a cup. Next he carefully mixed up the orange juice and poured it into the tall glass. Careful not to spill the coffee or River's juice, he walked slowly on up to the bridge.

He found his girl (shut up, brain) staring into the black peacefully. He wasn't clear on exactly when he'd started making note of where she was at all hours of the day, but he just took it as a blessing to be able to find her now. Around this time of morning, she was on the bridge, enjoying the quiet of the ship in sound and mentality. 'Least, that's what she kept sayin'. Without a word he sat down in the co-pilot's seat, silently handing her the juice, but not turning to face her. He didn't worry about startling her, not many things could sneak up on her; mind readin' genius and all that.

He could feel her eyes on him and she still hadn't taken the drink after almost a minute. He turned his head and found her staring at him. He grinned and pointedly looked at the drink in his hand. The pilot frowned slightly at the glass. "My arm's getting' tired girly, take the gorram drink," he muttered, trying not to laugh at the look on her face.

"What is it?" she said, finally reaching out and taking it. He rolled his eyes.

"It's good, is what it is. Take a sip already, would ya?"

She pouted at him, but took a ginger little sip from off the very top. After considering it for ten seconds or so she turned and smiled at him bemusedly.

"It tastes exactly like…"

"Orange juice."

There was a short pause before River took a long pull from the glass and moaned appreciatively. And loudly. Jayne thought he might have a heart failure. "Oh… run-tse duh fwotzoo, how did you make this?" she said while still trying to consume the entire glass.

He chuckled. "Maybe I'll show you some time."

"Well if you don't I'll be forced to puncture your carotid artery."

Jayne raised his eyebrows and hid his laughter in his coffee cup. "So…" she said, slowing down a bit in her drinking frenzy, instead nervously twisting her hands around the glass. "What is all this for? Do you need a favor?"

Jayne decided not to be hurt by that. She wasn't in on the situation, yet. Plus, before he'd had his little… what was that word— epiphany?... Yeah, epiphany; well until he'd had it, the only circumstances he mighta done this under woulda been if he'd wanted something in return. "Nope. Don' need a favor…" he said, letting the sentence linger on purpose.

"Is there something else you require, Jayne?"

He didn't know (and chose not to examine too closely) why exactly it was that when she said his name he got tingles down to his toes. He hoped it wasn't part of this whole love thing. Useless bodily reactions were not something he was accustomed to. He shifted around in the chair; maybe his legs were fallin' asleep.

"Reqire? Not really. Alls I want is a minute ta talk to ya."

She paled. "Have I done something wrong?"

He frowned at her. "Take it easy, little bit. No, ya didn't do nothing wrong. I jus' got a question."

She looked horribly confused, it was a little cute. He mighta drawn out the talk he was about to have with her just for her expression, but he was startin' to get a mite twitchy. He realized belatedly that maybe coffee wasn't the best choice in drink. "Alright." She said softly. "Shoot."

Jayne shrugged and took a deep breathe in. This was it. Now or never. "Wanna join me in my bunk tonight?"

River choked on her juice and sputtered a little bit. Like the cute girl version of flustered Simon. It was a little bit funny but Jayne didn't laugh, didn't want her to think he was kidding. "Shuh muh?" she said, blinking furiously.

"Ya heard me loud and clear darlin'. We could have some fun."

She blushed a bright rosy pink and ducked her head, not meeting his eyes. Still shy, still cute. Jayne thought.

"Uh…" she said elegantly. She seemed stunned. "What kind of… um, fun did you have in mind?"

"Watch a movie?"

Another moment spent in shock.

"Why? Why me?"

"Uh… yer really hot? I need another reason?"

He'd figured it would be best to leave out the whole "I realized I'm in love with you" thing, maybe still save it with a compliment. That didn't really work how he thought it would though. She went from shy to furious in five seconds flat. Jayne wished her glare wasn't so damn sexy.

"Romantic." She noted dryly. "Darling, you're so convenient must go over real well with your many whores Jayne, but I am not one of them."

He sighed and ran his big hand over his face. It became obvious to him then that The Plan was gonna have to be more like guidelines, she was just too damn unpredictable. "That didn't take long."

"For me to turn you down? Apparently not." she said, her mouth in a tight line.

"Fer you to assume the very worst 'bout me."

She turned to him. He graced her with a 'You fucked it up, not me' look and assumed she got it when she looked down quickly at her bare toes. A stressed pause followed.

"I… I apologize. I just… I admit I thought we didn't get along very well. The invitation was taken out of context. I'm sorry for the miscommunication."

He shrugged a bit. "Not really a total mis-comm-unication. I definitely wanna sex you." She turned bright red. He grinned and winked at her. "Not just yet. Tonight'd be more of a date than anythin' else. Nothin' yer not ready for."

She looked him dead in the eye despite her fierce blush. After a moment that seemed like forever to Jayne, she spoke.

"I'm not sure this is a good idea."

He scoffed. "An' why is it not a good idea? This happens to be a grade-A, prime condition idea."

"Jayne, we can barely have a whole conversation without insulting each other."

"Well, that's the sexual tension, way I see it," he said with a teasing grin.

She sat stunned and he took the opportunity to just look at her. The long brown hair, the dark haunting eyes. He didn't even bother trying to hide his leer. Her body was so small, and tight. Nothing he usually went for, but it was making his mouth water. He decided that was because he just didn't know what was best for him 'most the time. Now he knew.

"Are you serious? You're not playing a cruel joke on me?"

"Couldn't do that if I tried."

"I could easily read you, yes, but… I don't do that just for fun, Jayne. I stay out of people's heads when at all possible. And so I'd appreciate it if you would be honest with me."

Jayne shook his head in an irritated manner and his well known scowl slipped on his face. "Wuh de ma, I didn't mean it like that. Jus' meant that I wouldn't be nothin' but straight with ya 'bout this. I aint got a lot o' things I care particular about but this is one of 'em. So… so, what, you comin' to my bunk tonight or do I gotta drag ya there hog tied?"

She made a face. "Bondage is not necessary."

"Less'n yer feelin' in that mood," he said with a smirk, waggling his eyebrows for effect. She sighed in an exasperated manner and threw a dinosaur at him. He laughed loudly and rose from the co-pilot's chair.

Feeling in a sudden and ridiculously playful mood, he grabbed the arm of her chair and swiveled her around to face him. With a hand on each side of the chair he leaned forward and she tilted her face back. His face hovered just about a centimeter above hers. Gorramit, how he wanted to kiss her. And that was new and weird as hell for Jayne. Instead of runnin' away like half of him sure as hell wanted to do, he grinned and looked her dead in the eye.

"So, s'that mean yer gonna be in bunk at 7:30?"

She bit her lip nervously. "Yes," she said, slightly unsure. Then with more confidence, "Yes, it does." And she smiled.

"Good," he said, not aware that his voice had dropped to a low growl. Jayne wasn't used to such a simple thing as a woman smiling making his feet go numb. She shivered and the large mercenary felt it shake the air between them. "7:30," he repeated and ducked his head to brush his lips light as air on her cheek.

She sucked in air in a sharp little gasp. He smirked against her skin and left without any further commentary. Between the bridge and galley his walk became a skip, and by the time he stomped down the stairs into the cargo hold it had become a confident strut.

Phase One, Stage One? Complete.

River was well on her way to throwing her entire wardrobe on the floor of her bunk. Mostly, she loved that the Captain had moved her into the crew quarters. Right now though, she longed for the larger closet space in the passenger dorms.

She never thought she'd ever think it, but she had nothing to wear. A veritable carpet of clothes lay on her floor so that she couldn't see the carpet beneath it, yet she had nothing to wear. She felt like screaming. She didn't dare look over at the bed. The only outfit she could even fathom wearing was laid out on her bed, and it was just too much pressure to think about.

She frantically glanced at the clock on her beside table. 7:15. She felt sick. With a heavy sigh she turned to the bed. She knew it was absurd to hope that somehow the outfit had changed. That somehow, the dark blue skirt had gotten longer, more like when she had first received it form Kaylee. Before her legs had gotten longer. Now it hit her much farther above the knee than she'd like and no matter how hard she pulled it just didn't go down any more. The sweater from Inara was a light blue cashmere. It was ever so soft and quite lovely, but it fit her so tightly. Not so tight as to be uncomfortable, no. Still though, she was sure Jayne would take notice.

It flipped her stomach upside down to realize that she was not completely adverse to the idea. That she, in fact, wanted him to notice her. It was a mystery to her why she was so welcome to his advances. She'd never guessed that his scheme would be to… date her. Obviously, there was more implied. Intercourse. How could sex not be a factor with Jayne Cobb?

But even when she'd just picked up on what he was feeling strongly, it had been more than just a random case of lust. He wanted to spend time around her, talk with her. She was touched. No one had ever thought thoughts like that about her. It was very new. It was making her a little twitchy.

With a forlorn glance at the clock she realized that it was 7:20. After a few deep and calming breathes she changed into her outfit. She turned to the mirror once she was dressed and studied her reflection carefully. And unless she'd gone crazy again, she looked… really nice. She turned this way and that way, trying to find any flaw from some new angle. She was a little shocked not to see anything worth worrying over. A big grin worked its way unbidden onto her face at the thought of Jayne's reaction.

She didn't know how she felt about the feeling it gave her. She had never felt sexy before. Was she supposed to feel a little sick, like she might throw up? Was that nerves? Was this what it meant to be a sexual being? River nearly vomited. Half because she realized in that very second that she wasn't ready for sexual intercourse at all, and half because she desperately wanted to do it anyway. With Jayne. The thought made her shiver all over.

Simon was going to faint. Kaylee would giggle and jump up and down. Inara would raise one graceful eyebrow. Mal would yell. Loudly. Zoe would crack her first smile since Miranda. River would have done just about anything in that moment for an amygdale to stamp down her feelings.

She instead wobbled over to the nearest cool steel wall of her bunk and gently rested her forehead there. The change in temperature was soothing and she took a few deep steadying breathes. The Shepherd had taught her that. That when it got too much, to just remember how to do the most basic of all things and go from there. She missed him at times like these.

After a minute she steeled herself and climbed her ladder and out of her bunk. When she had locked her room and straightened her skirt, she strolled over to Jayne's hatch and saw that it was already open.

"Jayne?" she yelled down.

"Yeah, come on down!" he hollered back.

She did her best to ignore her shaking knees as she climbed down the ladder towards her very first date.