A/N: You, my bunnies, are priceless. Thank you so effing much for the warm welcome for this story and your warm comments regarding the fact I'm not done with FF. Appreciate it much.
Let me clarify something. I didn't want to lead anyone to believe there's no angst in this story, which is why I chose it as a descriptor, but it's not going to be some of the heart-wrenching stuff other authors do much better than me. There may be tears, but there are a lot of good times too.
I do appreciate some of you saying you couldn't take it with the story starting out with them divorced. I get it, and I appreciate the fact you were honest and respectful in your exit. I also know many, many of you hate Jake being the boyfriend, but I'm begging you to hang on…you have no idea how this is going to play out, and I'd really love it if you stuck it out.
Sorry, broke my promise about long-ass A/N.
SMEYER is a goddess…I'm merely a hand servant who'd never infringe.
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Chapter 2. A New Reality
##
I woke the next morning with a fucking headache because I sat on the back deck with my dad and talked about my time in Afghanistan while we downed a bottle of Jack Daniels. I'd been fortunate enough not to see active fire for the most part, but there was always the constant threat that hit a little too close to home one day when a supply truck rolled on base and blew up.
Insurgents had attached an IED to the undercarriage that was activated when the truck shifted into park. Dad listened when I told him about it. He asked about how much equipment had been redirected from Afghanistan and I told him what I could. A lot of shit was classified, and my dad being the man he was, didn't ask for any details.
When I crawled up to bed, I was pretty much hammered, and all night long, I dreamt about Bella.
"Edward, I have something to tell you, and I don't think you're going to like it," she told me as we were sitting at the diner after school. I'd just come from spring track practice, and she had a yearbook meeting, so I was giving her a ride home, and we were grabbing something to eat.
Both sets of parents were home, so the chance of us having sex was zilch, but I still loved spending time with her, and I loved her with all my heart.
"Baby, there's nothing you could tell me that would upset me, so just say it," I told her as I dove into a bacon cheeseburger and fries.
I noticed she wasn't touching her salad, so I offered her a bite of my burger, and when she got a whiff, she shot out of her side of the booth faster and more graceful than I'd ever seen her move since I'd known the girl.
After a few minutes, she came back and she looked pale. She sat down and grabbed my untouched water, taking a drink. By then, I'd finished my food and my soda, so I waited for her to tell me what was wrong while I waited for her to eat her food.
When she waved over the waitress for a doggy bag, I was worried. My girl had an appetite, even though she ate a lot of lettuce, but eating nothing at all wasn't like her. After I paid the bill, I drove us to the park so we could talk.
"Okay, what's wrong? You've been freaked out for a week, and I'm tired of you not telling me what's wrong," I told her as I took her hand and shifted in my seat inside my Mom's Volvo.
"Remember when you didn't have a condom that Friday night, and you pulled out?" she reminded.
She wasn't on birth control because her parents wouldn't allow it, but I'd bought condoms. One night after a party and a few beers on both of our parts, we'd gone bareback, and it felt so fucking great, I couldn't help myself. We were in the backseat of my mom's car, and as I started to come, I pulled out and finished on her stomach. I lied to her and told her I didn't come inside her, but the truth of the matter was I had a little.
"Yeah," I told her and gulped a little. I knew in my heart what she was going to tell me, and I didn't know what the fuck we were going to do about it.
"Well, you didn't pull out soon enough. I'm pregnant," she told me with tears in her eyes.
I sat there like a fucking fool and looked out the front window as she cried. I don't know how long I sat there watching my football scholarship disappear like a puff of smoke, but I knew I had responsibilities I'd never anticipated, and I had the girl I loved sobbing next to me.
I reached for her and pulled her over the console onto my lap. I held her close and when she finally quit sobbing, I took us both out of the car and settled us into the backseat where there was a hell of a lot more room.
I pulled her back onto my lap, and I fought with my dick because it had already betrayed me. "How do you know?" I asked.
"I'm late. Angela took me to the store, and she even went inside to buy the test for me. I took both of them, Edward. I'm pregnant," she stated without question.
I took a deep breath and thought about our options, not finding many. "Do your parents know?"
"God, I'd tell Carlisle and Esme before I'd tell Charlie and Renee. He's going to want to hurt you. What are we going to do?" she asked as she cried again.
I held her in my arms and stewed, not coming up with too many avenues of action. There was really only one course, and I knew she was going to hate it, but hell, I was going to be a teenaged dad.
"Bella, we can get married as soon as we graduate, and I'll enlist. I think that's the best thing we can offer our parents. I love you, and I'd love nothing more than to have you as my wife," I told her as I kissed across her chest.
"Babe, your scholarship," she gasped as I lifted her shirt and pulled down her bra, sucking on her nipple as I unbuttoned her jeans.
I pulled away and looked into her eyes. "I love you, Bella, and you're more important to me than a goddamn football scholarship. We'll figure it out together."
Yeah, we figured it out. We got married in June, and I went to basic in July. She joined me in a little house on the first base I was stationed, and we did our damnedest to make a life. It was a lot harder than I thought it would be in my naïve, teenage mind, but we lasted fifteen years. They weren't always great because of my job responsibilities, and it finally got to the point she couldn't do it anymore. I had no one to blame but myself and my stubborn, stupid pride.
I woke with a jolt and saw the bed empty next to me like too many times before. I thought about what a fucking douche I'd been to her when she told me about Rosalie. Instead of being the comforting boyfriend I should have been, my fucking sex-addled brain said, "Well, she can't get pregnant again." God I hated myself for the man I wasn't back then. I took a shower and got dressed, and I went downstairs to the kitchen expecting to see my mom at the stove.
"Sarge, welcome home," Bella called, and good God, she was more beautiful than ever. She was flipping pancakes and I wanted to walk over and wrap my arms around her and kiss her senseless, but I no longer had the right.
"Bells? Why are you cooking me breakfast?" I asked because I really didn't know.
"Well, your mom had an appointment, and Carlisle is at the hospital. JC's at work and Rose's at Emmett's house from what I can get out of her. She's going to be twenty, and she tells me nothing, so I'm hoping maybe you can get her to open up to you while you're home.
"I've missed you, Sarge," she told me as she poured more batter on the griddle. Dear God, I'd missed her so much.
"Well, Mrs. Cullen, what have you missed?" I asked as I sipped the coffee she offered which was exactly the way I loved it. A splash of cream and a teaspoon of sugar. I'd consumed enough strong, black coffee in my time. She knew my weaknesses, spoiled me, and I appreciated it.
She plated up some pancakes and bacon, and she sat down next to me with her own coffee. I looked at her for the first time in a year, and I saw the stunning woman she'd grown into from the beautiful girl I'd married.
She'd cut her long hair to just below her shoulders, but it was still gorgeous. She had a few creases in her forehead, but they only gave her a look of wisdom. She was the perfect woman, and I'd fucked it away. I was a fool.
"Where are you going to be stationed next? Are you staying at Campbell, or are you off again to an overseas station?" she asked as I ate the glorious pancakes without taking my eyes off her.
"Does it matter to you?" I asked between bites. I finished the breakfast and pushed away the plate, prepared to clean it up when she left. My question might have sounded shitty, but I was looking to gauge her interest. What she said next would either give me hope or shatter me.
She laughed a familiar laugh, and my arms ached to pull her close. "Of course it does, Sarge. We have kids in common. They miss you, and while Rose pretends she doesn't need anyone, she needs you. Hell, JC needs you every day because he has a girlfriend, and I'm so damn scared he's going to follow in our footsteps.
"Shit, I bought him condoms, Edward. That's not me, but I don't want him to mess up his life like I messed up yours. You could have gone to college and likely gone pro. JC has that same opportunity, and I don't want him to fuck it up…literally," she told me.
I sighed as I took a sip of my coffee. How to tell her how I felt wasn't something I was prepared to do, but I needed to tell her. I needed to make sure she knew it as the cold, hard truth.
"Isabella, you might see it that way, but I don't. I'll never see it that way. I loved you so much, and when you told me about Rosalie, well, it wasn't convenient, but I didn't hate the idea. We had a gorgeous daughter and a great son together, and I'll never be sorry about that. Tell me you don't regret it," I implored.
She looked at me and smiled. "I'd never, ever regret Rose or JC. She's so much like you, you know. I worry about them so much, and I do the best I can, Edward. They love you, and I know you have commitments, but they need you," she whispered.
I finished my coffee and looked into those eyes that had owned me for years. "I'm here to ride out my vacation and find a place to live. I'm retiring, Bella. I should have quit before I lost you, but I was stupid. I'm going to stay here with Mom and Dad until I can find a place of my own, but I'm out.
"Can I take you to dinner next week? Um, how about Tuesday night?" I asked. Her eyes grew wide, and I knew it was a surprise, but I had a mission.
"I, uh, I have a guy I'm seeing," she told me.
"Oh, I know. I just thought, for the sake of the kids, we should catch up, especially since I'm moving back to town. We're friends, Bella. I'm just looking for the opportunity to catch up with a good friend I've lost contact with. We have kids in common, after all," I reminded like the horse's ass I was. I wasn't playing fair, but if she was serious about this dick, I needed to do something to head him off.
She pulled out her phone and sent off a text. She looked at me and smiled my smile. "Sure. What time?"
"I'll pick you up at seven. Nothing fancy. Just pizza," I told her. She nodded and started to leave.
I hopped up and walked her to the door. I put my hand on the knob before hers, and when she looked at me, she smiled. "You don't have to be all gentlemanly, you know. I've gone down that road before."
I reached under my shirt and pulled off the dog tags I'd worn for too many years. My wedding ring was still there, but I wasn't embarrassed for her to see it meant as much to me as the tags. I placed them around her neck and asked, "Sorry, honey, but Esme raised a gentleman. Did you get the gifts I sent you for your birthday, Christmas, and Mother's Day? You never mentioned anything when we talked the few times we did without the kids."
She sighed. "Rose and I enjoyed the spa in Arizona, and the other gift cards and books were sweet and completely inappropriate. We're divorced, Edward. You don't owe me any gifts. The kids get me things for occasions, but I suspect that's because you send them money and remind them to do it. Your obligation to me ended years ago," she told me as she fingered my wedding ring on the chain.
I chuckled a bit. "Bella, as far as I'm concerned, my obligation to you never ends. You, my beautiful girl, are the mother of my children, and it doesn't matter to me you're not my wife legally. In my heart, Bella, you'll always be mine. I still love you, you know. I know how much I fucked up with you, but I'm not a smart man.
"Trust me, I've had time to look at it all, and I've lived our life in my head over and over. I know every time I fucked things up for us, and I could tell you I'm sorry for the rest of my life, but it wouldn't begin to make it up to you," I told her.
She looked at me with stunned surprise. I was waiting for her to go ballistic on me for my comment, which wasn't uncharacteristic for her because she was a spitfire, but she didn't. She smiled at me. "Edward, I let you go a long time ago. I had to. If I didn't, I wouldn't have been able to raise our kids.
"I'm glad you're out of harm's way, but I've moved on. I'm dating a great guy. I think I might be able to fall in love with him and make a life," she told me.
"Good, Bella. You should do that. Can we still have dinner? I'd like to know what our kids are up to, and we both know I won't get straight answers from them. I promise, I'll be on my best behavior. Hell, bring the guy. If you're serious about him, I guess I should meet him, right?" I offered as my heart crumbled in my chest.
"Are you sure?" she asked.
"Yes, honey. Bring him, and I'll be on my best behavior. I only want the best for you, Bella. If this guy's going to be in your life, then I should meet him, right?"
She didn't look too optimistic, with good reason, but I had to meet the competition. I had to know what I was up against.
She nodded, and I let her leave, which nearly broke me, but I'd put it out there that I still loved her, and I knew she'd think about it. I had to know what type of guy she was interested in so I knew what to fight against. I was getting her back. It was solidified in my mind and I was a stubborn son-of-a-bitch. All I had to wonder about was how long it would take.
##
The day of the date was upon me, and I was nervous. I went for a run, and when I got back to my parents' house, I walked inside and heard my mom talking to my son in the kitchen. I said a quick "hi" and headed up to get cleaned up because I had something to take care of in less than an hour.
Rose had gone to Seattle to get organized for the upcoming school year, but before she left, we'd spent some time together.
She told me she was in love with Emmett McCarty and was worried about being in Seattle with him still being in Forks. It reminded me of figuring out I was in love that first time. Hell, I was still in love with my first love. I told Rose the same stupid things my dad had told me. "If it's meant to be, it will figure itself out. Don't do anything stupid because love takes time. If you two love each other, then you'll end up together."
My daughter looked at me as if I'd lost my fucking mind, and I knew she was right. Love didn't follow a familiar path. It led you down a path you didn't understand, regardless of age.
"Okay, I have no advice for you. Maybe you have some for me. I want to get your mother to fall in love with me again. Any suggestions?"
Rosalie looked at me with wide eyes. "You what? She…she's dating the coach of the football team, Daddy. You screwed this up five years ago," she told me.
I looked into my daughter's eyes and smiled. "Posy, I remember when we brought you home from the hospital. I'd gone through basic and was working in the motor pool and I was a cocky asshole, believing there was nothing out there that would scare me because I'd been trained by the Army on how to handle nearly every situation. That was until the night we brought you home from the hospital.
"You scared the living shit out of me. You were little and couldn't do anything for yourself. I was afraid to hold you because I thought I'd hurt you. Your mom, though, she was amazing with you. She didn't know how to do everything, but she called one or the other of the grandmas and asked questions. I'd have never thought to do that, but she did. She always knew what to do, and instead of me trying to learn how to do that stuff right along with her, I let her handle it herself.
"She's always been stronger than me, and I took that for granted, but since we got divorced, I've relived every damn mistake I made, and I'm not happy with myself at all. Hell, you're in college, and JC's only got two more years before he's going…" I began.
"Daddy, JC's a senior this year. He's going to graduate next spring, and he's got letters of interest from a lot of colleges. Mom's had to sit down with a few of them and talk about their programs, but she made it clear that until you were back in the States, JC wouldn't be making any declarations," she told me, knocking me on my ass.
"Why didn't anyone tell me any of this shit when we Skyped or e-mailed? As far as I know, I'm still a member of this goddamn family," I yelled. We were at the diner, and I was making an ass of myself, but I was pissed.
"Shhh! You're embarrassing me. Look, Mom said we shouldn't tell you that kind of stuff because we wanted you to concentrate on staying safe. That's why we didn't tell you, but now that your home for good, I guess you'll be finding out a whole bunch of stuff.
"I need to go because I need to get home and pack up my car, but I'll stop by Grandma's tomorrow before I leave town," she told me as the waitress delivered the bill.
"You sure you don't want me to go with you and help you move your stuff?" I asked. Maybe it wasn't her freshman year, but I could help her get settled for her second year.
"Daddy, I moved my stuff into the sorority house at the end of last year. All I have are my clothes. It'll be fine," she told me.
"You're in a sorority?" God, how much shit didn't I know?
She giggled. "I did tell you that, Daddy, but I think it was around the same time you found out Mom was going to Cancun for Aunt Angela's birthday party." Yeah, that was news I wasn't happy about, especially when JC told me he was pissed about the bikini she'd bought. That shit was all kinds of wrong.
I sighed in exasperation. "Okay, fine. No more secrets. From now on, you tell me everything, and I'll do my best to listen and not say the first stupid thing that pops into my head. I'm hoping your mom can help me find a goddamn filter," I told her as I paid the bill and we walked out of the diner.
I hugged her good-bye, and the next morning, she stopped by to tell me and her grandparents' good-bye. I actually had tears in my eyes as I watched her little red Honda drive out of the driveway. I was dressed for a run, so I went hoping the good sweat I'd work up hid the tears I couldn't stop. My baby girl was in college, in love with a boy, and in a sorority? That couldn't possibly be right.
The knock on my bedroom door brought me out of the memory, and I checked my face, not thrilled to find a few stray tears I hadn't noticed at the memory of Rose's leaving. I walked over and opened the door, seeing JC and a very sheepish Emmett McCarty standing there.
I didn't know the kid from Adam, but I knew he and my son had run together since Bella moved to Forks, and a lot of the time when JC was in trouble, Emmett was sitting right next to him. If he was dating my daughter, we needed to get a few things straight.
"Come on in. McCarty, thanks for coming over. JC, run downstairs and get us a couple of sodas, will you?" I ordered. I saw JC smirk as he walked out of the room and closed the door. McCarty looked scared as hell, and I was happy.
"So, McCarty, I understand you and I love the same girl. What are we gonna do about that?"
His eyes got so wide I thought they'd pop out of their sockets. "Sir, I don't…I mean, Mrs. Cullen is a great person, and she's been like a Mom to me since I met her after my Mom died, but I've never…I mean, I love her like you'd love an aunt or something, but not…" he babbled.
I held in the laugh, not thinking about how he knew I was still in love with Bella. "Not my wife, you idiot, my daughter. I'm assuming my Rose wasn't just a summer fling for you. That wouldn't make me very happy, and one thing I learned in combat training was how to disable the enemy with these three fingers," I told him as I held up my thumb, index, and middle fingers. The color draining from his face was quite satisfying.
"Oh, yeah, Rosie. Yes, sir. I definitely love her. You should know, sir, Mrs. Cullen made it very clear to me the way in which she expects me to treat her…I mean, your daughter, and I've followed every rule she laid out. I respect Rosalie more than anything, and I'd never treat her badly or hurt her."
He was definitely sweating, and I was definitely enjoying it. It made me miss being around to deal with all the little bastards who came before him, but from what he said, it sounded like Bella had, yet again, stepped up and taken care of things.
That didn't exactly make me feel good because she'd definitely adjusted her life to be both Mom and Dad to our kids, and I was fucking obsolete at this point in time. She didn't need me, and that was definitely something I was going to have to fix, but I needed to get a handle on the coach she was seeing to understand what he gave her I didn't. That thought made my stomach turn.
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E/N: Well, he's got some things to think about. So, whaddya think, friends? Can't wait to hear from you.
Thank you for reading and reviewing, and if you stop by, please do review.
Till next time…xoxo (P.S. Next up…the date.)