Okay. It's been forever I know. I had to get through with some stuff before I started on DD again. But I'm here now, nothing to do for the rest of the day. My creative juices are flowing. I'm ready. Let's begin.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot and my own characters. J.K. Rowling owns the rest.

LONI

Chapter 2: Reborn

Mumbled and gargled voices were the first to break through to the unconscious mind of Harry Potter. As his mind traveled closer to consciousness, he became aware of words and their meaning.

"I didn't mean to scare him. It was his own fault for dieing." That voice, it belonged to Lucifer. Strange, such a childish, feminine voice would belong to the fallen star.

"Oh as if he really planned on dieing. You could have handled the situation a bit more tactfully," replied a deep baritone voice, clearly belonging to a male.

"Hey Salazar, just remember... applesauce."

At the mention of the other man's name, Harry's emerald eyes shot open, fear clearly evident in the shining orbs. He glanced around, noting the soft white bed he was resting in and the two figures beside either side of the bed. One was the girl who introduced herself as Lucifer. The other was who he assumed to be Salazar Slytherin. The man's shoulder length brown hair fell messily into sapphire eyes. His age seemed to be about 25, however Harry wasn't about to trust appearances. After all, Lucifer was how old, yet still looked 16. Yes, appearances were indeed deceiving. Salazar must have seen the fear in Harry's eyes. He frantically tried to explain. All the while, Lucifer wore an amused expression.

"Mr. Potter, before you jump to any conclusions yes I am Salazar Slytherin and no I'm not evil. She is though." At this, he motioned his head in Lucifer's direction, watching as her amused smirk became a scowl.

"I'm not evil, just misunderstood. There's a difference." She turned to Harry. "Harry, sweets, let me say a few things. First off, no one has called me Lucifer in a long time. I actually prefer Luc. Or if you want, you may call me Luci. Second, Hell is actually a decent place to spend the rest of eternity. It's not all fire and brimstone. That's just the vision I showed to those writers to install fear. Couldn't have my sanctuary crowded and what not. Third, this whole god is good devil is evil thing is a load of rubbish. Krys... also known as god... and I were actually in agreement on me being in control of an alternative place of rest. You see, Heaven started getting really crowded, so I came up with an idea. Why not have 2 places to go to? Of course, I do tend to get the bad ones, and truly evil people are sent to my 7th level. Usually after a while, they tend to mellow out and forget their grudges. After that, they really are great people to be around. There was no cosmic battle of good and evil. Just a chess game here and there. Any questions?" Luci looked at Harry with a curious glance.

Harry didn't know where to begin. Well, why not begin at the beginning. "Why did I get sent to hell?"

Luci smirked. "Well, you have been touched by evil. Krys looked into your life and decided I would be the best person suited for the tasks ahead concerning you."

Harry raised an eyebrow. "What tasks?"

"Well, you do have a dark lord to defeat, in case it slipped your mind. Once you're trained up a bit, you'll be ready for just about anything Mr. Riddle throws at you."

Emerald eyes bore into red. " And in case it slipped your mind, I'm dead." Salazar snorted, but covered it up with a cough.

"For now, yes. But you forget Harry. I'm Satan. I can do whatever I want."

" Oh how silly of me to forget. But wouldn't people get suspicious if all of a sudden I show up at Hogwarts saying ' Hey sorry about that. Luckily I made friends with the devil so no harm no foul.' Yeah right. I can smell the St. Mungo insanity ward now." Salazar fully laughed at that.

Luci just shook her head. "You, Mr. Potter, have greatly underestimated me. Do you really think I would send you back in your already decomposing body just to create a mass panic? Although it would be amusing, it just isn't my style."

Harry stopped. "Already decomposing?" His voice squeaked. " How long have I been dead?"

Salazar took this question. " Well, it's confusing but try to bear with me. You have been passed out for 3 years down here. Weird I know. Seems like you just got here really, but only 3 days have gone by up in the mortal world. And while 3 days doesn't really give the body time to decompose yet, your magic has sped up the process. To any doctor, you would seem to have been dead for 2 months instead of 3 days. Basically for every 24 hours up top, one year will pass down here. Get it?"

Harry just nodded dumbly. Luci looked at him with a worried expression. It soon grew into a warm smile.

"Don't worry though. You'll get to go home again. You will have to get a new body though. But we will discuss that at a later date. You will be trained by some of the most notorious figures in history, both muggle and wizard. I want you to leave all prejudices at the door, so to spreak. Training will begin immediately. Your teachers will be as follows. Teaching you dialect and oratory will be Adolf Hitler. Tactics will be Grindelwald. Multianimagus transformations will be taught by Merlin. Magical subjects will be divided by Merlin and Salazar, depending on the skill of the teacher for each subject.Philosophy will be taught by Aristotle. Meditation will be taught by Ghandi. Medics will be taught by Jack, though I suggest never mentioning prostitutes around him. And for magical auras, weaponry, and hand to hand combat, you will be taught by yours truly." Snapping her fingers, Luci grabbed a rolled up sheet of parchment and handed Harry the paper and a quill. "You will follow your teachers' rules unless specified by me and only me. If you agree to the terms, sign your name. If not, be warned you will remain forever in Hell, never to return to the mortal world. What is your choice, Harry Potter?"

Harry thought hard for only a few seconds before signing his name with a florish. Luci took the paper and looked at the name. She grimaced. " Also, calligraphy will be taught by William Shakespeare. Hell knows you need it." She turned to Harry and stood up. "Nice doing business with you Mr. Potter." With that, she left the room.

Harry just stared at the door as though he had never seen it before, which to him he hadn't. It had just appeared. Salazar laughed and clapped Harry on the back.

"Congratulations Harry. You just made a deal with the devil herself." Salazar turned to walk out of the room. " I look forward to being your teacher." Slazar had said this with such an evil undertone that Harry actually had second thoughts about signing that piece of parchment. As Salazar left, a pair of black dress pants and a silk black button up shirt appeared at the foot of Harry's bed. A voice inside his head ( which oddly enough sounded like Luci) told him to get ready. Thus, Harry proceeded to dress for his first (conscious) day in Hell.

61 years in hell/ 2 months up top later ( if you want his training chapter, email me)

"Oh Ry...I'll miss you!" Harry Potter was enveloped in a hug by his eccentric calligraphy teacher. Everyone was either excited or mournful because today was the day that Harry Potter would ( unknowingly) return to the mortal world. All of his teachers had gathered in his luxurious bedroom to see him off. Only two people were not there. Luci and Salazar were running a bit behind.

In the 61 years Harry had spent in Hell, he had grown from a malnurished skrawny kid into a well developed slender man. He wasn't blossoming with muscles everywhere, yet a very defined stomach and firm arms and thighs suggested he was a fit young man. His hair had grown only slightly to where it fell around his face, giving him a boyish look. His face had lost all baby fat and now was defined and sharp. He no longer looked like James Potter, but his own person. His emerald eyes held a spark in them never before seen in Harry Potter. He was now a proud 5' 8''. Prying himself loose from the man firmly latched onto him, he smiled with a gentle warmth.

"I'll miss you too, Willy. Be sure to send me the next act of your play soon." Willy nodded and stepped back from the handsome youth. A man appraoched next who had a dark short beard, black hair to his shoulders, and shining brown eyes. He clapped the youth on the back soundly.

" Remember to give Albus my best will you lad. It's been great corrupting his treasured student."

Harry smirked and nodded to the man. "I'll be sure to do that Grind. And it's been a blast being corrupted."

"Bah what's this about being corrupted! He's still as innocent as he ever was and I refuse to hear anything to the contrary." An old wiard stepped forth with a gleam of mirth in his black eyes. His white beard and hair reminded Harry of Dumbledore.

"Of course Merlin. I'm such an innocent lamb. I'll forever remain that way too."

Merlin snorted. " More like a wolf in lamb's clothing. The dark lord won't know what bit him."

Harry shook his head with a fond smile gracing his lips. He turned around when he felt someone trying to gain entrance into his thoughts. He smirked at a man with a yellow robe on and sent an image of a hamburger into his mind. The man glared fondly and bowed to him. Harry bowed back.

A satchel was thrusted into Harry's arms as soon as he stood up from his bow. He opened the bag to find all kinds of medical equipment. Harry turned to look at a man with round glasses and dark brown hair tied at the nape of his neck.

"For me? You're giving me your equipment?" The man nodded and cleared his throat.

"Take good care of it boy. It's served me well and it should do the same for you if you need it. Just...stay away from prostitutes."

Harry nodded. "I will Jack. I promise."

Jack nodded and stepped to the side to let a balding middle aged man through. He was wearing a toga and simple sandals.

"Be aware of all the opportunities given to you, though some will seem as if they are forced on you. This will assure your victory."

Harry's face grew solemn and he curtly nodded.

"Be sure to give that Malfoy boy hell. He may look like the perfect boy, but his attitude needs a serious adjustment," came a richly accented voice from behind Harry. turning around, Harry was greeted with his last teacher. Harry smirked cruelly.

"That is a promise I will gladly keep."

The man with a weird mustache just smirked back.

All the inhabitants of the room jumped when the door flew open with a bang. In ran Luci, dressed as a normal 6th year who attended Hogwarts with a green snake around her arm and wrist.

"Sorry we're late. Had to change and Sal took forever." The snake hissed angrily at Luci. Harry looked at the both of them before it clicked in his mind what they were doing.

"Why are you coming with me? I thought I had to do it on my own."

"Yeah right! Your cover would be blown the second someone said Potter. We will be at your side to help you. Besides, it's boring down here at best and with you gone, I'll be bound to plan some mass homicide attack or something. We are going with you. I'm going to be your daughter and Sal is going to be your familiar. Oh! Have you thought of a name yet?"

Harry nodded. " Yeah. I'm going to go by Romulus Evan Grimm. What's your name going to be Luci?"

The devil snorted. "Why I'm Nova Jamie Grimm. Daughter of the new Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher! "

Harry shook his head. " What did I do to deserve this?"

Luci laughed. "You died of course!"

Salazar hissed. " I'd hate to break up your sssquabble, but we have an appointment to make."

Both Harry and Luci nodded, faces serious. In a flash of black flames, Harry, Luci and Salazar were gone from Hell and transported to the Headmaster's office at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

End Chapter

Okay... Harry will now be called Romulus( comrades) Daddy( luci around other people) or Harry ( just luci and harry)

Lucifer will now be called Miss Grimm( teachers) Nova ( harry with other people around) or Luci ( lust harry and her)

I'll try to get the next chapter out soon. Again, if you want to hear about Harry's training, email me and I'll try to get you the training chapter. Just to warn you, it's EXTREMELY long, thus is why I didn't put it in the story.