2035.4.11 – The Accelerator Comes to Work

"FUCKING THUGS! CHRIST!" Misaka hears for the third time in a row as 20001's totally not hot boyfriend slams his cube telephone onto the receiver. Misaka is not sure why anyone thought it was a good idea to give this pimple-faced and terminally pissy teenager a phone and hook him up to the stupid masses in Academy City, but yet, he is here.

Somewhere along the line, Mister Crowley decided it would be a good idea for the Accelerator to "apologize" to all Misakas by helping Misaka with our workload twice a month. Misaka does not know how the Accelerator's behavior is in any way an apology, considering he rarely shows up to the office and steals Misaka's coffee from the break room every time he bothers to show his face. Mister Crowley says to be thankful for what we get. 20001 asks why we are being so mean to her boyfriend.

Misaka is also not sure how 20001's boyfriend is the Accelerator. Misaka was told during the experiments that the Accelerator is a fierce opponent who has slain countless Misakas without any concern for life or humanity, but to this Misaka, he looks like a pimple-faced teenager who lives off coffee and walks like a nursing home patient. Kamijou Touma is clearly a much better male specimen who deserves Misaka's attention through and through, on every part of him. Yum. I can feel onee-sama glaring daggers at me from two miles away.

What is worse is that 20001 is always sickly sweet when he is here. Any other time, she seems to get some sick pleasure out of either messing with our lives or completely ignoring us. Misaka cannot stand that 20001 is only human when he's around, since every other time she's the batshit insane admin who loves to torture us all.

Misaka 14534 shoots a foam missile at Misaka from the cube over; it bounces harmlessly off Misaka's head and lands on the floor. Attached is a little note:

This asshole has been stealing Misaka's specialty coffee and tea sandwiches! Does 12294 want to go fuck with him, requests Misaka 14534 as she pleads for help in her plotting?

Misaka doesn't really care about 14534's special coffee or tea sandwiches, but it wouldn't hurt to get some revenge on the kid. Hell yes, Misaka scribbles on a note and tosses it back over the cube wall; 14534 flashes a thumbs up, and no less than three minutes later, I see a report on my feed.

PRIORITY: Urgent

Coffee missing from break room

FILED BY: Misaka 14534

STEPS TO REPRODUCE:

Go to break room

Open refrigerator

No coffee

SUGGESTED FIX: 20001 should tell Accelerator to stop drinking Misaka's coffee

Nice. This isn't the way I imagined Misaka would get revenge, but this will get someone's attention.

Accelerator:

Fuck you, I didn't steal shit.

Or it'll just get his. Misaka sighs.

Misaka 14534:

You are a liar, Misaka can confidently say. The Accelerator is the only one who would steal Misaka's tea sandwiches. The other Misakas all pack lunch.

Misaka 12294:

Bug reproduced. Accelerator told.

Accelerator:

Fuck your tea sandwiches. They were delicious.

Misaka 20001:

Accelerator…

I hear 20001 screaming something about "I TOLD YOU NOT TO STEAL PEOPLE'S COFFEE MISAKA IS ASHAMED OF YOU!" The Accelerator is suddenly on the floor speaking some kind of gibberish. 20001 stomps off.

MARKED: Fixed

That is how the Accelerator was banned from the break room.