Chapter 2

A/N I first thought of this as a one-shot, but manygreentrees intervened and put some ideas in my head. Thank you! So here's chapter 2:

o-o-o-o

She kept an eye on him. She had only once before found him as upset as she did that evening, that one night when he told her about his proclivities, not that she hadn't known about that long before. Since that day she'd looked out for him, and now she tried to talk to her husband.

'There's nothing we can do about it. We're overstaffed and really, who needs an underbutler these days,' he'd growled.

She knew he was right, on the other hand it seemed so wrong. But really, there was nothing they could do about it.

So she kept an eye on the young, dark underbutler.

That night wen he had opened up to her was weeks ago now, and if anything he had locked himself away even more since then. The playful banter about her hidden supply of whisky seemed to be forgotten, and she had fully expected him to tease her about it.

Instead, he seemed to have stopped teasing anyone at all. Seemed to have stopped talking to anyone at all, after the schoolteacher had advised him not to help Andy with his reading lessons anymore. He did his job, did it very well, even Mr Carson had nothing to complain about.

But she couldn't help worrying about him.

'Are you all right, Thomas?' she had asked him and the answer had been predictable; 'I am very well Mrs Hughes.'

'You know you can come to me if anything bothers you, you do don't you? Never mind Mr Carson.'

'Yes, I know, thank you Mrs Hughes,' he said, and she believed she had seen a very faint shadow of the spark that used to be in his eyes, when he smiled at her.

o-o-o-o

She had asked for a word with Miss Baxter, and found the lady's maid was worried about Thomas as well.

'I can see he is not happy, Mrs Hughes, just like you do. But he doesn't talk to me about it. He just tells me he's all right and I know he isn't. I don't know what to do, and I don't even know if I should do anything at all. Perhaps it's just the stress of having to find a new job, I don't know. Or the fact that he knows he is supposed to leave this place as soon as possible,' Miss Baxter had told her.

Mrs Hughes had chewed on that remark.

'I think you may be right,' she mused. 'Knowing your colleagues want you to leave must be hard. And yet it is not true, because I know you and me and Mrs Patmore and Daisy, and Andy don't want him to leave.'

'So it would seem he's mistaken about that, but there is the fact that as an under butler he became redundant and Mr Carson has not made that a secret, I'm sorry to say.'

Miss Baxter's cheeks coloured a bit, having criticized the butler in front of his wife, but the housekeeper smiled reassuringly.

'That's all right Miss Baxter, and just between you and me, that has annoyed me as well. Especially since Thomas actually applied for other jobs and couldn't find anything suitable. I spoke to Mr Carson about it but he is adamant about that point, if not downright stubborn.' She sighed.

'It seems all we can do is keep an eye on Thomas,' she said.

'I know I do, and I'm glad to know you do as well,' Miss Baxter had answered.

o-o-o-o

Ever since that first conversation, weeks ago, she had had several talks with the Lady's maid and both of them had reached out to Thomas more than once, but to no avail. After allowing himself to drop his stoic mask in front of the housekeeper, the young man apparently had decided to pull up his walls even more firmly. Even a repeated offer of Glenfiddich one evening didn't do the trick.

He had smiled kindly enough, and she had seen a small spark of the old Mr Barrow in his eyes when he politely refused her invitation.

'Thank you Mrs Hughes, but I think it would be unwise for me to form personal bonds with anyone, now that my days here are numbered,' he had said.

'Numbered? Have you found another job then?' she asked surprised.

'No, not that, not yet. But I will, very soon I suppose.'

She'd smiled at him.

'I will be sad to see you go Thomas, and I know for a fact Master George and Miss Marigold will miss you terribly.'

He had swallowed at that.

'Thank you Mrs Hughes, you have always been kind to me, even if I didn't deserve it.'

He quickly left after that statement, leaving her somewhat confused. What was that about? It almost sounded like a goodbye… was he planning to sneak out during the night, just like that wretched O'Brien had done? No, that wasn't Thomas, he would not leave like that. Still, his words kept nagging at her, and she felt the urge to follow him, to ask him about his plans, to… She couldn't put a finger on her feelings and didn't know what to do.

And so, because it was rather late, she was tired and her husband, who had complained earlier about her being late so many evenings was waiting for her at their cottage, she decided she'd sort it out tomorrow. But no matter how tired she was, she lay awake most of the night and not because of Mr Carson's snoring. She just couldn't shed the feeling of uneasiness…

o-o-o-o

Now it was tomorrow, and she almost pulled her hair out in grief and misery.

Young Andy had burst into her sitting room that afternoon and had all but dragged her upstairs to the bathroom, where she found Thomas lying in the bath, in a horrifying mix of water and blood and Miss Baxter tearing up her slip, using the straps to bandage his wrists. She had been able to put on her Housekeeper persona and began giving orders, as she was expected to do.

'Get him out of that tub….you take his legs and we'll take an arm each…have him out of those wet clothes… in bed.'

Dr Clarkson had arrived. He had stitched up the wounds, gave orders how to take care of the patient, and then kindly complimented Andy, Miss Baxter and herself with their quick and accurate actions, which probably saved Thomas's life.

That was the straw that broke her. She muttered an excuse and fled the room, practically ran the stairs, straight into her sitting room, where she locked the door and burst out in tears. Heavily sobbing at her desk, her head on her arms, she bitterly regretted her actions the previous night. That poor, poor boy, how terribly lonely he must have been, and she had FELT it for heaven's sake, she had KNOWN something was very wrong and she had done nothing. Because she was tired. Tired! And because her husband had been nagging about her being late so often. And while he had been a major cause of Thomas's problems, she had chosen to go home to him, instead of listening to her instincts. She should have…she should have….

It took a long time, almost half an hour, before she realised she was exhausted and had no more tears to spill.

A knock on the door finally pulled her out of her almost numb state. She ignored it, but the person knocking was persistent. She kept ignoring them but when she recognised young Andrew´s voice, she rose from her chair and opened the door.

´Mrs Hughes, I am sorry but…I am so sorry…but…I feel…,´ the young man stammered, looking shocked and dishevelled with red rimmed eyes . She allowed him in and pointed towards her settee.

´Sit down please Andy,´ she said and moved to sit beside him.

He turned to her and she saw the horror in his eyes.

´I feel so awful Mrs Hughes! I have been so horrible to him!´

´No Andy, don't say that. You became a friend to him eventually.´

´But…´

´I know how you feel,´ she told the young man. ´You blame yourself. You think you should have done more, should have paid more attention to him, anything that could have prevented him feeling so desperate and alone. I know, because I feel the same. And I´m sure Miss Baxter does, too. And Anna.´

He sniffed and she gave him a clean handkerchief from the supply she kept in her desk drawer, for homesick housemaids and yes, footmen.

´Do you think so, Mrs Hughes?'

He looked at her and noticed her red nose and puffy eyes.

'Yes, I do Andy, she said gently.

They shared a weak smile and shed some more tears.

Another soft knock on the door announced the arrival of Miss Baxter. She smiled when she noticed Andy and sat down with him. 'I thought I'd find you here,' she said.

'I think I know how you feel, we're all so very sorry and we blame ourselves.'

'Yes,' Andy said. 'Though I feel a little bit better now, knowing that I'm not the only one.'

'You certainly aren't,' Miss Baxter assured him. 'There is a little something we can do though, and that is keep him company the next days. He's asleep now and Anna is with him, she will call me when she goes home and then…'

'Perhaps it's better if I take over during the night, Miss Baxter,' Andy interrupted. 'You are needed in the morning to help the ladies, I am not really needed until lunch so I can take a few hours extra in the morning. I'm sure Mr Molesley won't mind.'

'That's a good idea, if you're up to it. I'll leave the door unlocked and you may call me anytime you need help. That is…if that's all right with you, Mrs Hughes?'

'Of course it is. Mr Carson doesn't agree, I'm sure, but then he doesn't need to know,' the housekeeper answered. 'Very well, Andy, then I suggest you take a nap now, before your night shift starts.'

'Thank you Mrs Hughes, I'll go right up then.' He left the room, leaving the two women.

Mrs Hughes went to the kitchen and fetched them both a cup of tea.

'Poor boy,' Miss Baxter said, while sipping her drink.

'He'll be fine, I'm sure. But that other poor boy, wat about him?'

'I suppose all we can do is pray that he will find his place in the world.'

Mrs Hughes nodded.

'Who knows, something good may come out of this.'

The clock chimed and Miss Baxter jumped; 'Heavens, it's almost time to dress for dinner…I must hurry, I'll have to tend to both her Ladyship and Lady Mary, what with Anna looking after Thomas . Thank you Mrs Hughes.'

'And you, Miss Baxter,' she smiled.

o-o-o-o

His Lordship, also shocked by the events, had given his butler permission to retire early. So it was just past eight when he entered his wife's sitting room and told them they could return to their cottage.

'But before we leave, I think we deserve a sip of that excellent whisky you store in here, my love,' he said, much to her shock.

'Charles! Who told you that?'

He smiled at that. 'Nobody did. But I married a Scotswoman and so I would expect nothing else. Also, for some reason I feel we should drink to poor Thomas's health.'

That shocked her even more and she stared at him in bewilderment.

'But Charles, you never cared for the lad. In fact, I have to say you were very rude to him at times.'

He frowned. 'I know Elsie, and now, when it was almost too late, I regret that. His Lordship knows what happened, I could hardly keep that from him, but I told everyone else he has the flu. Dr Clarkson agreed and will tell no one either.'

She couldn't help it, she suddenly felt an overwhelming wave of affection for him. She smiled, walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his large frame. 'Thank you Charles. That was very considerate of you,' she whispered and he dropped a kiss on her hair.

'That's what being married to you does to me,' he said softly. 'It turns me into a human being. I suddenly find myself, not that often mind you, caring about other people than…'

'The holy Family,' they finished together.

'You are the sweetest man,' she said happily.

He kissed her and murmured: 'Let's skip the whisky and go straight home and to bed, my love. I want to celebrate life with you.'

o-o-o-o

A/N one more chapter, I think…. Please leave a review if you can find the time. They keep me going, x george