Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or the characters thereof.
Warning: Wincest! Sam/Dean/Antonio (my own character). John/Brenda (Own Character). Bobby/Ellen. Dorian/Dante (Own Characters). They are out of character, obviously. You don't like out of character in the boys then you should not read this. I keep them out of character, I prefer them that way. Besides, it's Wincest, obviously they are out of character, since they wouldn't consider sex with each other otherwise! There is also bad language, graphic imagery. Sexual Content. Dark content. Violent scenes occasionally are included here. Menage situations, fair warning here!
If you don't like Wincest, don't read! I get graphic with most of my Wincest and I don't want to offend you.
Plot:
Sam is at school with Antonio while John and Dean go hunting. Christmas coming up and they have invited everyone. And they deal with some issues that have come up, and they know just the person that could help them with it.
Xxxxxxxxxx
Sam was in class, Dean and John were on a hunt but due back soon. Christmas was days away and they'd managed to talk Bobby, Dorian, Dante, Ellen, Ash, and Jo into coming here for the holidays. He had six rooms in the place, and the den. The rooms were a bit smaller than the master ones but he was sure they wouldn't mind.
He knew time was close and could smell the demons at the door now.
"Well, ShowTime." He muttered under his breath and put on an innocent look. "Hi, Brady, come in. Jess, looking good. Brady seems to be treating you well."
"Yes, he is." The pretty blond said, her blue eyes innocent. Antonio knew better. There was a demon in there, he could see it behind her face, Brady's too. "Sam here? I was thinking we could do a study session together tonight, if you don't mind."
"Nah, he's finishing a final for Profession Hasbeck." Antonio said, going to the kitchen to put the potatoes in the oven, he figured eight would be plenty for all four of them. But held off on grilling the steaks, John had called that honor already.
Wiping his hands on his black plain apron, he untied it and hooked to the wall hook, and washed his hands, taking a deep breath as he sensed their waiting for him in the other room and knew what was coming.
"It won't kill me." He told himself mentally, psyching himself up to do it. "It won't kill me." and after the tenth time he said it, he nodded mentally to himself as he grabbed three beers from the fridge to make it look like he'd been getting that for them, not psyching himself up to be burned on a ceiling, nu uh! "Fine, It won't kill me…but it will hurt like fucking hell!" He growled mentally and headed in.
Sitting their beers in front of them, he waited but smiled as innocently as he could manage. "So…you want to wait for him…he's due back soon."
"We were counting on that actually." Brady said, his eyes going full black and Antonio saw Jess's doing the same. He cried out as he was slammed to a wall and began to slide up it, until he was on the ceiling. Then they used power to slash his flesh and he bled as he cried out in pain, which they stilled by making him mute, taking his voice.
Something he allowed for now but wouldn't soon.
"Sam loves you, so…you dying will turn him darker, drive him to revenge…like it did with dear old daddy John…his pain will be exquisite…" Brady taunted and with a flick of a hand, blue flames covered him and he tried to scream but couldn't.
The demons watched for a while then went to go, but found the door locked on them, turning around with nervous eyes, they saw Antonio float down from the ceiling and extinguish the flames by merely opening and closing his glowing blue eyes, solid glowing eyes. They trembled nervously at this sight, wondering what he was. Azazel had said he was human, but no human ever did that!
"I'm not human, but I cloak that way really well." Antonio said, summoning new clothes since his had already burned up with the flames. "I'm a MetaSeraphim, sent to protect and watch over the Winchesters. And you fucked up."
"We didn't know…" Brady gasped as he felt the Angel using power to pull them close enough to touch them.
"Obviously." Antonio said smiling then put hands to their heads. "Sam will not go dark nor will Azazel ever get him… I will not allow that." And smiled again wider. "Starting with you two." And with that, power flowed from him and they burned up from the inside then it spread to the outside, until they were undone and unmade from his touch alone. Not even vapor. They were just gone now.
He waved a hand at the burnt mark on the ceiling and it was gone, the ceiling pristine again.
Then drank a beer and tossed it in the trash.
And offered the other to Sam as he walked in the door.
Sam peeked around curiously. "I thought I heard someone in here, you were talking to them…"
"Nah, just fiddling with the radio…found some talk show." Antonio said, turning off the stereo as if he'd been listening to it, a good cover that he saw Sam buying. "Dinner's started, they are on their way. An hour at most, John said. Why don't you go out on the patio and stir the coals for me, keep it hot for the steaks, okay?"
"And chicken, boneless breasts, right?" Sam said with a hopeful expression.
"Of course, they are already marinating in the teriyaki sauce. I even have a large salad for us to share, along with fries and baked potatoes, with all the toppings, of course." Antonio said. He'd been cooking for hours and it was worth the kiss Sam gave him now, passionate and full of love. "Go on, check the grill. John will be mad if it's not ready when he gets here. You know how seriously he takes his grilling."
"Yeah, I do." Sam laughed, taking the stick his lover offered. And went to stir the coals and get the foil on the rack so they could get it on the grill soon.
Antonio watched him go with glowing eyes, monitoring John and Dean as well as watching Sam. They were close and his protections on them were holding. He smiled as he felt them pass the school and take a left to his private lane. Sipping his beer, he carried the steaks to the counter, and got the chicken out of the fridge.
He heard the knock and let them in, hugging Dean tightly, kissing him against a wall passionately until he was breathless and melting. John just rolled his eyes and headed to his room to shower and change. "I'll be down in twenty…I'm sure you'll be done molesting my other son by then, right?" His dark eyes glittered with humor as they both threw him amused looks.
"Yeah, I will be…how about you find someone to molest yourself? You seem repressed, old man!" Dean called back to him.
"Uh, not right now. Thank you! Got ghoul guts everywhere, maybe next time…" John said and walked out of sight. Then they heard, "What the hell? How did it get there?! I had my pants on the whole time, shit!" And they had to laugh. And wonder where 'there' was…they'd tease him later about it, over supper.
For now, Antonio knelt before Dean and undid his pants, then pulled him to their bedroom. Where he frog-walked him backward and let Dean fall back on the bed with a sultry chuckle. A chuckle that died a quick death as he began to suck his cock and Sam came in to help…and by help, he meant to shove his own cock into Dean's more than willing mouth for him to suck him as well.
"That's it, Dean…take it, take all of it!" Sam growled as he fucked his lover's hot sucking mouth and got close to cumming but held off as he felt Dean's body tensing below him, his own orgasm cumming as well, "Fist yourself, Antonio, cum with us, baby…" Sam moaned, his control slipping. "I'm close…"
Then several moments later, Dean came hard in Antonio's mouth and Sam let his go, cumming and making Dean drink every drop of him. Antonio's lap was covered in his own cum but he looked happy anyway. They cleaned up quickly and redressed while Dean went to shower, after cuddling in their arms for a minute and kissing with them. "I missed you, Love you!" Antonio exclaimed.
"Missed you, too. I love you, too." Dean said and squeezed them tightly. "Thank you for taking care of Sam for us, Tony." He whispered in his ear.
"No problem, I like taking care of Sam." Antonio said just as softly back in his lover's ear.
"Missed you, Dean." Sam said and kissed him hard.
But both let him do to clean up, then bagged up the nasty clothes he'd just taken off to burn them later. He could get new ones, these were covered in ghoul flesh and rot. And they stunk.
Antonio was in the kitchen again while Sam tended the grill until John came out, when the man in question emerged from upstairs, drying his hair on a towel and tossing it in the hamper in his sons' room. "Okay, where's the meat? The Grill King has arrived!" He laughed and admitted he liked the homey feel of the place, the sense of family and stability it gave him. He'd missed this since he'd lost Mary…And Antonio was a good addition to the family, and good for his boys, even if it was a threesome. He didn't care anymore. They were happy and Antonio and Sam took good care of each other while they away from them. He trusted and knew that now Sam would be well protected by his lover when John and Dean couldn't be there.
And had to admit, Antonio was the best thing that had ever happened to him and his family, and thanked God for him every day.
Xxxxxxxxxxxx
They were eating at the table on the patio an hour later and talking.
"So…tell us about the hunt." Sam said. "Tony, this salad is amazing…what is it?"
"Asian Salad. It's a theme one to go with the Teriyaki Steaks and Chicken." Antonio said happy he liked it. He liked to make themed meals, matching sides to meats perfectly. It took a while but he liked how it worked out, so it was worth it. "So…the hunt? Dish…"
"Well, Newberry had a witch who had Necromancer powers, and she summoned a ghoul to kill her ex. We had a bitch of a time finding her but we did it. Every one said she was this perfect woman, until we found her other ex who said she was a controlling bitch…so we listened to him and found out he was a good warlock and she had tried to kill him in a similar way. He'd killed the ghoul easily and told her if she tried it again, he'd just send the ghoul back on her and she'd hate that…" John laughed at the thought. "Apparently not the only necromancer in that relationship."
"What did you do with him?" Antonio asked.
"Well, he offered to assist on hunts, he and his new wife were bored. So they asked to offer assistance sometime, said they'd keep the secret of who we were. So when we killed the bad witch, he helped get the ghoul back to its crypt and helped us burn her body up in a mortuary nearby he owns." Dean said chewing his steak and looking like he was having an orgasm while he was doing it, something that got his lover's hard under the table and resolving to make him make that face for the right reasons later on. "Dad will leave their number with you and Bobby, too, in case you need them."
Antonio was sure he wouldn't but giving it to Bobby was a good idea, he could use their help. "What were their names?" He asked curiously, he'd be checking on them later. The Angel way, of course. To be sure they were safe from danger from the pair of witches, if not, he'd just get rid of them, good witches or not.
"Stern…Straker…Stone…oh, Stark. Maggie and Donald Stark. Very powerful from what we saw. They will be good allies, we need some witches on our side. Not all of them have to try to kill us, right?" Dean said and John nodded and laughed. "What?" Dean asked at his expression.
"Dean, they are the first witches I've met you didn't manage to piss off ten minutes after meeting you… a record really." John chuckled. "I don't like curses, son. Don't do that to me again."
"Curses?" Antonio said worried.
"Yeah, Dean pissed off this one witch so bad I spent three days as a woman, before Bobby found a counter spell and we got the witch to reverse in exchange for Dean apologizing for lying to her to get her to sleep with him. You'd think it wouldn't be that hard to apologize… but it was." John growled in annoyance.
"But you were so pretty…" Dean teased and got a face full of potato salad for it. "Hey!"
"Don't 'hey' me, you need to apologize more, Mr. former manwhore!" John said pointing with a finger at him, looking stern. "I am a man, I shouldn't have to have boobs and girl parts because you were horny and needed to get laid."
"You had all the parts?" Sam asked, chuckling at his father's not-so-amused expression.
"Yes, I did, son. And I could have given birth, too, I suspect. I was all woman…no thanks to Dean's wandering cock and lying mouth. Thank goodness he's not like that anymore, less witches to piss off that way. Commitment's mellowed him, he listens much better now." John said and caught Dean's look. "It's true, don't sulk, son. It's not attractive."
Antonio and Sam winked at Dean, telling him otherwise, they found him adorable when he sulked or pouted…it must be a 'father' thing. Dean smiled and soon cheered up, and turned the discussion to the subject of the holidays. "Bobby call yet?" Dean asked anxiously.
"Yeah, he's coming early, said he'd be here by tomorrow night. Relax, I already got the Den done up for him. There's a smaller room attached in a hidden wall space, he can take that one. Dorian and Dante can take the twin beds in one room. Ash, Jo, and Ellen have their own rooms, too. Dorian will be here by tonight, Dante's flying her in by private jet. I've gone grocery shopping and got it all ready. We do need to clean up after this so he can meet me in a cleaner house, but Brenda, my housekeeper, will be here in a few minutes; she'll do most of the work. We just need to do our bedrooms ourselves. Usually I do ours anyway, I assumed you felt the same way, John. Do you want her to clean yours for you? I can tell her to do it…" Antonio asked.
"Nah, I don't want anyone in there, I can do it myself. That's my space." John agreed.
"That's how we feel, too." Antonio said then heard the doorbell ring. "Shit, she's early. Stay here, I'll let her in. We can stay out here while she cleans." He rushed to the door and she came in, motioning and talking to him, a happy type of woman. John saw she was pretty, too. And around his age.
"So that's Brenda…" He said quietly, eyes watching her get to dusting already. The boys noticed this and smirked. 'Finally he gets interested, good for him.' They thought to themselves but didn't say a word.
"She'll only be a couple hours. Want to go for a drive?" Antonio said, letting her have the house while he got them out from under her feet.
"Sure." Dean said and tugged Sam along.
"I…I should clean my room." John said quietly, eyes still on the woman. "My weapons aren't put away yet…"
Antonio smiled at his preoccupation with the woman and shrugged. They were single adults, both human and lonely, so why not see if they could get together. "Well, we'll go and see a movie. You clean your room and stay out of her way. Dorian said they'd be here by eleven and I gave them the gate code to let themselves in, so you won't have to. It's only seven now, so we have plenty of time. Brenda will finish getting their rooms ready for them, I'm paying her extra to do it. Let's go, lovers, I wanted time alone with you anyway." He said and waved to John as he picked up the patio stuff.
"I'll pick this up and wash it myself, plus I need to clean the grill off while she works in there, it's filthy." John said and it was true, it was a mess.
And after the happy group left he rushed to lock his bedroom door. Then headed out to clean up their dinner mess, and the grill, and to watch the attractive blond woman clean the house, and not in that specific order either.
Xxxxxxxxxxx
"Dad has an eye for the housekeeper, baby." Dean said sipping his soda and letting Sam steal some.
"Good, Brenda has been widowed for a long time, too. They could be good for each other." Antonio said smiling, watching as the woman ran in heels through the woods. "Heels in the woods, yeah, she'll get away…that and all that looking behind her is really slowing her down…he'd going to kill her for sure." He whispered to dean.
"I know!" Dean said in amusement. "I love Slasher films; I think I'm a sadist."
"I already knew that." Sam teased back and was shushed. "Oops."
"Yeah." Dean chuckled quietly. Antonio watched them interact, not watching the movie very intently at all. He was more into spending time with them anyway.
And, after the film, they headed to a bar and got a beer, watched part of a football game, and headed home after that.
John answered the door with a hickey on his neck. They smirked. "Did you harass my maid, John? Do I even still have a housekeeper?" Antonio teased. He knew she wouldn't quit on him. She was devoted to him and they both knew it; she'd always be loyal.
"Yes, and I didn't harass her…but I did get to know her better." John said smiling in a way that told them exactly how much better they knew each other. "I knew her husband, and he was a hunter friend of mine. We got to talking after she got done and one thing led to another, and then…sex! But she really is a nice lady, boys. We have a date for next week set up. I think I like her."
"Thought so." Dean said laughing and tugging his lovers to the bedroom. "Dad, let Dorian and Dante in if we don't finish in time, would you? They have the room by ours, on the left, with the twin beds in it." He had plans for his lovers and, from the looks they shared, they had plans for him, too, John saw.
"Yeah, we'll wait for you to finish." John said, "I'll warm up the leftovers for them, too. They might be hungry."
"Sure, tell them we'll be out soon." Sam said then laughed at something Dean whispered in his ear. "Okay, not that soon apparently… so glad I'm not a virgin here." Then was dragged along behind them, grinning happily. "I'm so screwed…or I will be soon."
"Too much information, son. Go get laid. I'm a big boy, I'll be fine all alone, really I will." John said shooing them away. Then relaxed on the sofa to sip a soda and nibble on some chips.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hours later, they emerged showered and clean, dressed casually. They hugged their cousins and introduced Antonio. The gifts were taken to the study to be locked up, and then they proceeded to get to know each other right after that. The tree was soon to be put up. They'd just got too busy to do it, but the house was getting more decorated every day, a little at a time. Sam and Dean had insisted so he let them do it.
Then they headed out to introduce their lover to their cousins, who eyed him with great curiosity and with knowing looks exchanged between each other already.
"Dorian, Dante, this is Antonio Vasquez. Our lover and Mate, we're a threesome couple and…I'm with Sam now that way, too. Not brothers anymore, so to speak." Dean said nervously.
"I do vaguely recall you telling us that already…" Dorian teased.
Dean blushed and nodded. "You never said if you'd accept our relationship though, Dori…" He bit a lip nervously. "Do you? We really do love each other, he's a great guy…and he takes care of all of us, even Dad. Please, be a part of our lives, try to get to know him, okay? He means a lot to us…" He pleaded. Then whispered sadly, as if it was a prayer. "Please like him?"
"I do, I accept you guys this way and he does seem nice, De. I think you guys will be very happy with him…congratulations." Dorian said and was relieved to see Dean smile finally. "He's so hot! Wherever did you find him?" She teased. "And where can I find one like him?"
"Sam found him…not me." Dean said proudly. "He had great tastes in men."
"Yes, he did." Dorian agreed.
"Dante?" Sam asked worried as well.
"I accept it, too. And he does seem great. Good for you guys." Dante said smiling. "A threesome, I didn't see that coming…the incest, yeah, but not that. You two never were conventional."
"What? How did you see it coming?" John demanded in surprise, he hadn't seen it so when had they?
"When he was twelve and gave Dean the valentine instead of the neighbor girl." Dante said chuckling.
"And when he gave Dean your Christmas present…even though he got a Sapphire Barbie and a sparkly baton that Dean stole from some rich person's house so he could have a Christmas." Dorian pointed out.
"Oh, well…" John said then groaned, thinking back to them growing up in motel rooms, the furtive looks, the shameful blushing, the strange eye contact, the avoiding looking at each other for days…yeah, he should have seen it, couldn't have done anything about it but he could have seen it coming. "Hey, when did you do that valentine thing, Sam? Just asking. Hey, grab us some beers, Dante. How about we sit on the patio and talk?" John offered.
"Sure, go ahead, I'll load the cooler for us." Dante said and headed to the kitchen to do it.
When they were settled in and relaxed, John looked at them, and so did their cousins. They had the grace to stare at the table, knowing why. "Well, tell all of it. I mean it." John said sternly. "I'm fine with it, just be honest. You've kept the secret long enough, damn it!"
"Well, we were strictly brothers until around…Sam was twelve and I was sixteen. We were in Belkamp, North Carolina and you were hunting the demon. You'd said you'd found omens again and left us at some motel." Dean began.
"No, the Barbie thing…back farther." John said. He eyed the amulet and felt a stab to his heart. He'd disappointed Sam so much he gave his gift to dean instead…that was supposed to be his amulet. Shame hit him at that thought. If he'd been around more…shit, he'd fucked up.
"We were mostly alone, I took care of Sam. Killed for him a few times, too. Wolves, and such. And some pervert who tried to….I can explain." Dean said at John's shocked look. "Sam was six and I had went to get us some sodas and snacks; I wasn't gone more than a minute. Sam was gone when I got back so I ran to find him. Hey, I'd told him to lock the door and let no one in! Anyway, I caught him being forced to go into another room out of the corner of my eye and ran to get him." Dean sighed and Sam took his hand, nodding for him to continue, even though everyone else looked pissed. "The jerk was trying to undo his pants while holding him down on the floor…so I shot him between the eyes and got Sam out of there. Grabbed our stuff and hid in the bushes. Cops came then you showed up. We ran out to the car and left. You had a concussion. We told you what happened, Dad. You forgot. I thought you remembered that, sorry."
"You left him alone…" John growled.
"I was only gone a damn minute and I was 10…so let's not get into who was more irresponsible here, shall we? Because a ten year old has no business raising his six year old brother either! Fuck you, too!" Dean said angrily, hurt by his Dad's attitude. "I saved him and killed a man…I was ten, Dad. How many kids do you know are forced to kill a man at ten…speak up, I'm listening."
"None that I know of…" John said quietly, unpuffing now. "Sorry, that was…my fault."
"No, it was our fault. I shouldn't have left him alone, I'm sorry, too." Dean said quietly. "I had nightmares for weeks about that. Ones where he didn't die but killed us both instead when my shot when wide, in another my gun jammed, another where I didn't find him and he raped and killed him, another…there were so many…Sam held me when I had them to remind me I was with him. That the man hadn't got him…he chased the bad dreams away." He said. "That's…where my love for him began to change…not sexually but my heart…it was loving him differently…sex played no role in it…I had no perverted fantasies of fucking him…just a warm feeling and the need to hold him sometimes…that's all." He said. "It was pure, nothing like now."
"I trust you, I believe you. Go on." John urged, taking his hand. "I see it was pure…you were ten, you wouldn't have had the urges then, I know that."
"The usual happened after that, but I just got more protective and watched him all the time, punched a lot of bullies that tried to hurt him for being skinny and smart…Sam was so fucking smart, even then." Dean said and kissed his lover's cheek. "He always was. Then at twelve…Sam surprised me with this necklace. I robbed some rich guy's house when you were late for Christmas and Sam almost had no presents…so I got him some. It was girl toys but…he still kissed my cheek anyway." He smiled a little at the memory. "I loved that part most…it touched my heart, especially the adoring way he looked at me…like he felt like I did, but I didn't say anything. I just hugged him and he gave me this little package, wrapped in newspaper. " He smiled and chuckled, tears in his eyes as he stroked the amulet. "It was this and…he said it was to protect me the way I protected him…and I loved him even more for that as well. I gave him my heart then. I didn't realize it until we were 14 and 18. Then I used every girl I could find to try to wipe the shame and desire I felt for him away after that. And did my damndest to just be his brother."
"What happened then?" John asked.
"Well, you asked about the valentine first so…" Dean said.
"The girl I wanted to give it to, she seemed interested in me. We talked, went to the library together, and even swam in pool at the apartments where we were staying. I thought I loved her but…I heard sounds from a closet at school one day…it was one of the times we got to go to school for more than a week…and it was her, with some other guy. He was kissing her and his hand was up her shirt." Sam said sadly. "I was so hurt that I ran home, skipped the rest of the day of school. Dean was there, Dante and Dorian were visiting with Bobby… and he was babysitting us. I was crying and Dean caught me, held me while I did it. Kissed my forehead and said I'd be okay…said he loved me and would always listen to me, kept asking what was wrong." Sam said and sighed. "So I gave it to him…since he seemed more worthy than the girl was. I knew he'd always love me, even as a brother…the valentine symbolized love… so…"
"You figured love deserved love in return…" Dean said softly and Sam blushed, nodding. "Oh, Sam, thank you. I loved it by the way, even with the doily look and sparkles."
"I know… that's how I knew I gave it to the right person." Sam said shyly.
John was suddenly overwhelmed by how much of their falling in love he'd missed; damn he'd been dense. These were obvious clues, too.
"So, 14 and 18…" John urged.
"We were wrestling, playing around that's all. But then we…our cocks were hard and rubbing… and our lips touched and we…kissed and rubbed into each other, no longer wrestling…and we, we came and kissed passionately…and I ran. I left him panting on the floor, with a hurt look in his eyes, a confused one, and cum crusting in his sweats. I was…ashamed and in love with my brother, completely 'head over heels, passionately 'he's the only one for me' kind of love." Dean said and shrugged. "I went right out, got drunk, found a girl and fucked her against a wall. Then I came home, saw Sam looked normal; a little upset but I expected that. We didn't say anything about it, and pretended it didn't happen. Sam got quiet and ignored me more. Disobeyed me when I told him what to do and he refused my help if I tried to help him. We fought all the time by then. And then at nineteen, he was gone, not a damn word…we had tried to get along more after he hit Sophomore year but we never got back to where we were."
"What changed?" John said. Poor Sam, no wonder he was so unruly. He had hated Dean for breaking his heart, then rubbing it in by always being around and by fucking and flirting with women in front of him or in the same room…damn. All because he was ashamed of being attracted to him. He was in love with him, too…shit. And having John pushing him at Dean to be protected, he'd only made it worse.
"Sam, I'm sorry." John said. "I didn't know."
"No one did. I thought he felt the same as me. He was kissing me, touching me, we were both rubbing, and then we…came. Then he was just gone. I was so ashamed, thought he thought I was a pervert and that I'd…I didn't know what to think. Then he was with the ladies, pretending nothing had happened between us, and having sex with them when he thought I was asleep in the other bed. It was like he was slapping me in face, saying I wasn't good enough, that I was just a naïve kid who dared to think that the man I loved just might love me back and want me as badly as I wanted him." Sam admitted then sighed. "I was angry for a while, then Dean told me… I…he was hurt in the hospital, a wendigo nearly tore his arm off. He was on pain meds and he never did well on those, he got way too honest." Sam chuckled at that. Then got serious. "Dad had went to show the insurance card and I…he was so helpless and I'd thought I lost him…so I stole kiss and told him how I felt. I just had to tell him one time…it was choking me for years to keep it quiet! I told him I was in love with him and he opened his eyes, clear and green, gave me a troubled smile, then said "I love you, too. But it doesn't change the fact we can't be together, Sammy." He seemed so sad about that. Then fell asleep again."
"And he didn't remember saying it?" Dante asked.
"Nope, but then again, when he's high on pain killers, he tends to do that then forget what he says as soon as they wear off…I was used to it. I just figured if he said it, he was being honest for once. I actually asked him another time why he ran off that day on me and you know what he said…he said he couldn't stay or he would have made love to me. Said he'd loved me too long to risk it. He'd been scared. Said he was sorry about cheating on me with all the women…that's when I knew he really did love me…even if he forgot it when the pills wore off; at least that meant that he was honest when he said it." Sam said smiling. "So I tried harder to get along with him. Just because he wouldn't admit outside of being drugged out of his head, didn't mean he loved me any less. And that meant more than any proclamation of true love and all the things I used to wish for but never thought I'd get…I gave up on those things soon after he brought his first girl home, and introduced another to Dad and they did that proud smug look…I fucking hated that look then! Dean and Dad gushing over some girl he was doomed to leave behind and couldn't see me, the man who really loved him! Was ashamed to be with me…that's mostly why I left as soon I got out of high school and got that Stanford scholarship. But then at 17 and 21, we got with Antonio."
"17?" John said in shock.
"Yes, let me tell it, Dad." Sam said.
"Fine." John said and listened.
"I went to a bar, Dean was out getting laid. I was a junior in high school and supposed to be studying. I'd already had been singled out for possibly getting the Stanford scholarship. I didn't want to hunt and had mostly gotten over Dean; I was dealing with it much better by then. I was gay and wanted to know a man's touch for once. So I went to a bar to get laid." Sam said and smiled. "Antonio came up to me, and said, "Can I buy you a drink?" and told me his name. I saw what he looked like and we went back to the room and had sex. Dean followed me, watched to make sure I was safe then walked in and offered to join us. He said he wanted to be with us and made sure Antonio was in for the long haul or a quick fuck. I said Dean was worth more than that and he said…we told him the truth, all of it. About being brothers, about wanting him that way, about hunting with you. Mom and…all of it. We said we wanted to make it work and wanted to wait to tell you since we thought maybe you'd disown us if you knew or hurt us for it to make us stop, which we would never do. So he fucked us both and we did him, and we were a couple then. He followed us in case you tried to hurt or kill us if you found out; he wanted to protect us."
"So he knew how old you were, you loved them anyway?" John asked. "And I would never have hurt you guys, not even over incest. I'd have been mad but I'd have adjusted, tried to talk you out of it."
"Yes, they were with me and I was in love with them from the start. I didn't know he was 17 until after we had sex though, sorry. But then, after we had sex, we discussed his age and him staying in school. That's why we didn't say anything at first. We didn't want him kicked out before he finished school." Antonio said regretfully but not like he'd do it any different if he could. Something they all noticed.
"He was going to go to Stanford, and we found out Tony lived here and went there, too. So we agreed we'd tell you once he graduated then got ready to go to Stanford. Then we'd tell you about it and us, we'd live with him here. I wanted to keep hunting with you; we still wanted to be your sons. I didn't want to lose you, Dad. I didn't want to lose your love but then…I was afraid to push it. So I used the gun to keep you at a distance when we told you. We really were committed to each other, Dad. A real couple and in love. We were so afraid you'd freak out and try to hurt us if you knew we were sleeping together, let alone sleeping with Tony." Dean said softly. "You weren't exactly the paragon of open-mindedness where homosexuality was concerned, let alone incest! More than once you said the people we found that were having incest were perverts and freaks, not to mention the 'fag' and 'queer' comments, that sneer you got at the sight of a flaming gay guy…yeah, we thought you would hurt us. You were really…intense."
"Wait, you told him at gunpoint." Dante said in surprise. "Damn, I'd say that showed some serious trust issues."
"I thought he would hurt Sam." Dean said regretfully. "And we've since fixed the trust issues, thank you very much. We get along much better now."
"Would you have killed him if he tried?" Dorian asked worried. He sounded so cold when he said that he kill his own father…what had John done to him, to them!
"Yes, I'd have regretted it but I'd have done it without blinking or flinching." Dean admitted. "I'd killed for Sam before, so it was no new concept for me. I was taught to protect him, take care of him, but I learned to love him and need him in my life more than I'd ever needed anyone else…so for that, all of that, I'd kill for him as well." Dean said as if he'd regretted that, too. "Sam was and still is my heart, Antonio now, too. Killing isn't hard. We all die, someone kills us…but love…that's much harder to find, let alone keep. I'd killed monsters, witches, humans not turned to wolves yet, and I've learned that killing is easy; it's stopping yourself that's hard. I'm not like you, Dad. You…you feel when you kill, you feel something. I go to a cold place, feel nothing, I go empty inside then…I pull the trigger. I care afterward but not during. You care during but not after." Dean said softly. "You said you hated hunting. And so did I. I never told you why. This is why. I hate what it makes me. How cold it makes me feel. Hunting takes the things that make me feel love away from me and I want to save them…but when it comes killing time…I don't feel a thing. It's been like that since I killed that pervert trying to hurt Sam…I'm a killer because of hunting, and that's what I never wanted to be. What I never wanted Sam to be. So…now you know why I hate hunting."
Dean sighed. "I want to save people, help others, stop evil… but I'm so afraid I'll become just as evil in the process. Aren't you? Don't you feel the darkness taking you with every kill you make, with every bit of distance you put between you and the people you love in favor of chasing the fucking demon and every evil thing you manage to find? There's darkness in us, Dad. And, before I put that gun to you and told you we were leaving and why, the darkness all but owned you. You just didn't know it. We saw it but…you didn't. We were losing you and, while I could lose you, I never could handle losing Sam. He makes me feel. He makes me feel the good things and love and all the things you forgot to."
"I never forgot those things." John said sternly, eyes hard. "I hunted because of those things."
"Then you should have called that your sons and said you were raising it, because you damn sure barely raised me, and you damn sure didn't raise him…I did!" Dean said and stalked off. "I did the best I could, and became a killer because of it; all to please you! What's your excuse?"
John watched him go in shock and got up, following, motioning for them to let him go alone. He caught Dean by the living room wall and tried to pull him back but ended up having to pin him to a wall, Dean spinning around to fight him off. Then John realized one very important thing…
Dean was crying.
"Dean…" John said tearing up. "I did it for you boys, all for you boys. But…I got so caught up in revenge and chasing him, I forgot you needed me, too. I'm sorry…you did raise him yourself, no wonder you love each other so much and, if you ever see me about to hurt him, you kill me for real. And…once we get the demon…maybe we should concentrate on our family more and your relationship with Sam and Antonio, and less on hunting. So maybe we both will learn to kill less easily…I never meant to make you a killer. I just wanted you able to protect Sam and yourself. I never realized by pushing you to hunt or him to hunt, I was doing this to you. I made you a sociopath. At least where killing is concerned, and I'm sorry for that. So… do we have a deal? Less hunting when we finally get that bastard, make sure he can never come after Sam again?" He released his hold and found Dean clinging to him crying.
"I don't want to be a killer, Dad. Sam's not the only one that wanted a normal life, I did, too. But he seems to be the only one that seems to get it. I love you, Dad. And sometimes, I swear you just forgot to love me back. I was just someone who could kill for you, with you. And if I become that, I will lose Sam forever, Tony, too."
"You won't, Dean. I won't let you. The darkness, I think it has taken enough from us. Let's not let it do that anymore. So you kill less and I'll find ways so we don't have to. Okay?" John said gently. "Less killing from now on, I mean it."
"Yes, sir." Dean said softly and wiped his eyes. "But we kill the demon and any of his minions that come after us, right?" His voice was so cold it made John flinch, reminding him of how cold that Dean got when he thought of killing. Yeah, he was going to make sure that Dean didn't have to kill as much anymore, he was cold enough as it was. Now he and Dean needed to learn to kill less willingly.
"Yes, we kill him." John agreed but mentally promised himself that Dean wouldn't be the one to do it.
In john's opinion, Dean had killed enough.
"I'm sorry I said what I did before…I know you did what you thought was best. I was just mad." Dean said. "I have so much anger for you when it comes to us growing up, it just…comes out sometimes."
"Yeah, maybe we should get some help with that, all three of us. I have a friend who could help us with some counseling. She know we hunt, she knows what, who, why, and where we hunt. She also knows what it turns us into, and that sometimes we become the monsters we hunt because of that." John said. "I'd like to do some therapy with her, have all three of us do it." John said. "I want to fix us…I never realized how broken we really were until now. Please, Dean, let's try it? Maybe see if she can help you with the killing thing, too, Dean…she's psychic and she counsels hunters mostly; she gets us."
"Okay, we'll do the counseling." Dean said softly. John stepped back from him and let him go further from him now. "I know you love me, and him, and we love you, too. But there is also hate there, too. And a helluva a lot of pain. It's confusing. But when I'm with Sam and Antonio, and they are touching me, holding me, kissing me, hell, just saying they love me…it takes that hate away, and I need that." Dean said then sighed. "Yes, he was seventeen when we started sleeping together and he was underage but it was what we needed and wanted, and it was love. Just because others may see it as wrong, doesn't mean it was. They always will see me and Sam loving each other this way as wrong and we have to live with that. We mostly don't care. But, with you, we cared. And, while the evil shit might kill us, you not loving us anymore because of it, that would have killed us for sure. The world we can live without giving damn about us, but not you! We need you to give a damn about us, even a little one. Please never give up on us? I know we're perverted and stuff but we need you." Dean pleaded. "We're still your sons, no matter what."
"Damn it, Dean! I always cared about you, and him. I don't see it as wrong, not anymore. I see it as you and he in love and happier than you've been in years. I will always and have always given a damn about you guys; you are all I have left in this world. You aren't perverted or sick, and I will not tolerate you ever calling yourselves that again! I am happy for you three and you should know one thing, if you never know anything else…" John said and touched his face gently, wiping his tears away.
"What's that?" Dean said softly.
"You are my son and so is Sam, and you always were. And I love you." John said. "I'm so proud of you guys; you can never know how much."
"I'm proud of you, too, Dad." Dean said and they headed out again. "You should call your friend soon. I want to get started with that counseling as soon as we can." He took his hand and hugged the man, then let go smiling but looking serious. "I want to fix us, too."
"I'll call her in the morning." John said. He wouldn't lose his sons, fuck that! Not over this stupid shit.
And, as they headed to the table again, they sat closer together with Sam sat between them, and took his hands. Then both looked at him and smiled. "We're going to fix us. All of us." Dean said. "We are a family, and to find a reason to be thankful, I just have to look at you to remind me of that fact."
"You won't kill as much if you are too busy studying…" Sam said looking down.
"And where would I be studying at?" Dean asked as he tried to tease Sam to make him smile again. "When would I be doing that?"
"Here with us." Sam said and added hesitantly. "Every other Semester would be good."
"What field do you see me studying, baby?" Dena asked, liking this idea already.
"Anything you want, as long as you do it with me." Sam said softly.
"After we kill the demon." Dean said and meant it. "How would I pay for it?"
"I'd pay for you." Antonio said smiling. "What's the point in having billions if you can't spend them to help your loved ones out?"
"You're a billionaire? How does that work?" Dean said in shock, he'd known he was rich but not that rich.
"My father inherited it from his Dad, and I inherited it from him. Then I invested it, got into real estate and other lucrative areas, and it eventually got into the billions." Antonio said. "And I've been on the cover of 'Forbes' three times."
"That's where I knew you from…" Dorian blurted out. "I knew I saw you somewhere! I told you, Dante."
"Yeah, you did." Dante said and added. "Now that you mention it, I've seen you on it, too."
"So, what's your story, Tony?" john asked.
"Not much, I was born in L.A. and raised in Beverly Hills. My father was in the service and my mom was a socialite who never let him forget how he'd given up such a chance at a lucrative job with her father to go into the service, always belittled him for it. So they ended up divorced shortly after he got out of the service, and I chose to live with my Dad. Mom married some CEO and got the husband she wanted. We were all happy. Then his Dad died and Dad inherited his money. Dad trained me with all he knew and I was as good as him. Until he was ran off the road by a drunk driver and killed. Some little bimbo with too much to drink and too much money and too much car that she should never have been allowed to have! She got a good lawyer and a slap on the wrist and I got a dead father….I was bitter for years. I hated everyone and everything, including myself for a long time. I drank too much, whored around with women, then with men when I got tired of women, using them at will, feeling worse with everyone I fucked. I got into drugs, tried rehab, got more into them while in there and eventually O. . I almost died, and I was only twenty." Antonio said. "I was alone and this man found me, a street guy, and he began stopping by to visit me while I was in my rehab. Even when he was starving and dirty, he still came to talk to me, and I opened up to him eventually. Then he got me to tell him everything." He smiled at the memory. "He saved me…literally. I was dying by the inch, and he pulled me back. I never remembered how I'd met him or where but however it happened, I was thankful he had showed up."
"I got home and brought him with me. He hated it at first but did it to make me happy. And he's still there. I love him so much. He's indispensable to me now." Antonio finished.
"What does he do?" Dorian had to ask.
"He runs my companies, of course. And manages my money for me. He has quite a head for business and accounting. He's married now with two kids of his own…he's great." Antonio said and Sam had to ask.
"Did you ever…were you guys…um, lovers?" Sam asked. Hoping it didn't piss him off.
"No, but he's a great uncle though." Antonio said. "I was gay by then and he was straight. But sex never entered into it." He smiled and nudged Sam. "We were never lovers, you jealous thing."
"Was just checking." Sam said and nodded. "Sorry, was a little jealous there."
"I just love you guys, I promise. I always will." Antonio said.
"You better." Sam teased back and laughed as he nuzzled his ear. Kissing there where it turned on him on most. "Stop that, you tease…we're still talking here."
"No, we're not. I'm done." Antonio said and slipped a hand along his thigh. "And you're done, and he's done…" He was cupping his dick now, rubbing him along his cock now.
"Speaking of done, you keep doing that and I'll be done for real." Sam advised and smiled. Pressing a hand on Antonio's though, encouraging him to rub harder. "Time for bed, guys." He said not breaking eye contact with his lover right then.
"I agree." Dean said and joined them, all practically running to their bedroom.
"I have jet lag, and need a drink. I'm not nearly ready for bed." Dorian said. "They aren't going to stop for hours, are they?"
"Not really." John said stretching. "I'm tired, I'm going to bed. Dante?"
"I'm with Dorian, I need a drink." Dante said and they headed to a bar.
And the house rang with sounds of their pleasure again. Sam undressing with them as soon as the door shut behind them, and being ordered to suck them both, which he happily did. And soon they both took him first. "You're next, Dean." Antonio warned with a dark chuckle.
"Then you are." Dean pointed out as he thrust into Sam's mouth.
"Of course." Antonio said. "It's only fair really."
"Of course it is." Dean teased then moaned, and Antonio soon joined him, Sam whimpered in pleasure around his lover's cock as well. Antonio taking him from one end, Dean the other. Driving him mad with need as they did so.
All knowing this would take hours, they were too wound up for it not to.
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