He had only ever seen Hawke cry twice. The first time was when her mother died. She had held her mother's mutilated body in her arms and wept. How he had wanted to embrace her and console her at that time, but it was Fenris who she had needed at her side during her period of grief. Despite the fact that the miserable elf had broken her heart not long before, she still wanted him with her.
The second time he saw her cry, he had wanted to hold her close just like before, but he couldn't because this time he was the one responsible for her tears. The templars had all reconvened after what had happened, likely in an attempt to salvage whatever was left of their order. Carver, driven by duty, left with them, his only goodbye to his sister being a solemn but knowing look and a nod. Not long after, Hawke told her friends that she needed to leave Kirkwall. With a pained expression, she had to say goodbye to each of them. Still, she managed to hold back her tears. Until she got to Varric. When she looked him in the eyes she broke down, falling to her knees and sobbing.
The dwarf smiled sadly and wrapped his arms around her. "Hey now, don't cry," he said, his own voice tight as he gently patted her back. "How am I supposed to make your escape from Kirkwall sound gallant and daring if you're crying?"
Fenris had hurt Hawke once. He had broken her heart, and Anders had vowed that he would never forgive that man for hurting her. Though when he saw Hawke crying in Varric's arms, Anders knew that he had hurt her more than Fenris ever could have.
The last words the elf had said to him were, "If you ever come near her again, I'll kill you."
It was foolish of Anders to think that Hawke would ever come back for him.
"You don't remember me, then?" Solona asked, snapping Anders back to reality.
"What? No," he said. "I think I remember now. You're the one who helped a blood mage escape the Tower."
"I don't regret it."
"You don't regret helping a blood mage?"
"I didn't know he was a blood mage," she argued. "He wanted to escape the Tower with his lover; he wanted to be able to protect her, so he did something stupid. I didn't know. All he told me was that they were thinking of making him Tranquil, and I couldn't let that happen. Not to my best friend. We all ended up paying for his mistakes, anyway."
"All of you?"
"Yes. You see, Jowan—" Her cat meowed. "No, not you, the other Jowan," she said, shushing the feline. "Jowan and I always used to meet in the Fade. It wasn't like we planned it or anything, but whenever we fell asleep we'd find each other there. It's like it was fate telling us that we were supposed to be important to each other. Even after Jowan escaped, I would see him in my dreams, no matter how hard he tried to avoid me. Then one day he just stopped showing up. ...I pray they killed him. He was always terrified of the idea of becoming Tranquil. Death would have been a mercy.
"Lily was sent to Aeonar. After the templars took her away, I never saw her again after that. Then the templars had to make sure I wasn't a blood mage, too, before deciding on my punishment."
"And then what happend?" he asked. She hadn't been made Tranquil, so where had that left her?
Solona slowly stood up and turned around, undoing the buttons on the back of her dress. Anders' first instinct was to look away, but curiosity brought his eyes back on her. She parted the fabric to show her back, covered in scars caused by countless lashes. As if she could feel his eyes on her, she answered his unspoken question as she rebuttoned her dress. "Aeonar."
At first he was shocked, but that shock quickly turned into anger. This. This was why he did it. This was why he'd had to spur the mages into rebellion. This was why he'd been forced to do what he did back in Kirkwall.
"Believe it or not, the only reason I got out was because Darkspawn had overrun the tower. I mean, not completely. It was a small breach, but one that managed to knock down the wall in my cell. I froze one or two Darkspawn with what little strength I had left, and ran. My phylactery was in Denerim, and it was likely destroyed during the Battle. It's funny, isn't it? That the Blight saved me?"
Anders looked at her smile, but he saw how weary she looked. As if she were exhausted just from telling the story.
"So I guess what I'm saying is, I get it. You did what you had to do."
That's when he realized that she truly knew who he was. She knew exactly who he was.
A/N: No guarantee I'll finish this story. It's marked as complete because each chapter could be the last one I write. I'm sort of just doing this to get ideas out of my head.