"Hello, boys," The Doctor was surrounded by a dozen armed guards; why on earth would River have left him to fend for himself? "Would you fellows believe I was looking for the loo?" The TARDIS materialized soundlessly around him and he breathed a sigh of relief before yelling at his wife, "You left me!"

River stood smirking at the controls, "Well, Dear, I thought this the best alternative to you breaking your neck trying to follow me out the window."

"Oi, I take offense to that!" He grasped the lapels of his coat, "Graceful as a cat, I am."

"Bless," River sashayed towards him and gave him a peck on the cheek before heading back to the console, "Where to?"

Following his wife, he wrapped his arms around her waist and nuzzled into the crook of her neck, forgiving her instantly, "Mmm, absolutely nowhere Professor."

"Oh no?" She sounded slightly disappointed, "I hear the whole Rigel system is ready for an uprising, not up for a little post coital rebel rousing?"

He ground his hips into her arse, "Rebel rousing isn't quite what I'm up for."

River spun in his arms and grinned up into his lust filled eyes, rubbing a hand over the bulge in his trousers, "Oh, I see," and rose up on her toes to give him a kiss. He captured her face in his hands and kissed her for all he was worth; his tongue searing as he parted her lips, his hearts racing as he felt the lush curves of her body melt against his.

A needy whine stuck in her throat and she broke from the kiss just long enough to say, "Bed, now," in a breathy whisper.

"Professor Song, always so demanding."

"Oh, shut up and fuck me!"

The Doctor didn't need to be told twice. He easily lifted his wife off her feet and slung her over his shoulder, "You've been a very bad girl tonight Professor," he said twirling them towards the bedroom. She laughed as he gave her arse a stinging swat and smacked his in turn.

It was the searing heat that woke him. He had been dreaming of River even though her body was molded against his in the bed. Her full lips had been kissing a trail down his chest in his dream when the heat and pain had woken him. He opened his eyes to a blinding golden light radiating from his wife's sleeping form.

"That's impossible!" He said, springing from the bed to avoid the wave of energy as he maneuvered around to the other side. He had to get a good look at her to make sure.

"Oh," he scratched his head and spun around the room, "but I, no," his voice trailed off. River was going to kill him. Not that it was all his fault; she hadn't exactly been an unwilling participant but somehow he didn't think she'd see it that way.

It was difficult to see with the gold cloud around her, he could only make out the wild curls against the blue silk of the sheets, but he was pretty sure of what he'd find when he could. Finally, when the glow and heat subsided, he ventured a peak under the sheet, jumping back and spinning in disbelief. Definitely going to kill him.

River stirred, "Sweetie, what are you doing?" Her eyes slowly opened, The Doctor looked like a little boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar, "Why are you looking at me like that?" Her voice had a degree of alarm in it.

"Um," the words just wouldn't come out so he pointed.

"What?" She sat up, "will you just say something!" Then she looked down at herself, "Oh, but …"she was looking down at a very pregnant belly. "Oh, I hate you," it wasn't said in the lighthearted flirtatious manner it usually was, but rather one which made him glad her gun was out of reach. She struggled to heave her gravid figure out of the bed, "I'm going to kill you." He was at her side at once, offering a hand but she swatted it away, "Don't touch me."

"Think it's a bit late for that," he stood watching her as she finally made it to a standing position.

"Don't," she said and headed towards the door.

"Don't what?"

"Look at me, talk to me, act like this isn't serious. What am I supposed to do with this!" Her hands gestured at the swell of her stomach as she turned briefly back to him before throwing the bedroom door open.

"River, wait, where are you going?" Her clothes were scattered across the room, not that they would fit her rounder figure, and certainly not that he minded the very naked form of his wife walking away from him, but still, she couldn't exactly go out like that.

"I have to pee, because apparently, I'm pregnant and I have a Time Lord nesting on my bladder! I'm going to find a damn bathroom, then I'm going to come back here, find my blaster and use it on you."

"But, wait" he said, following her into the Tardis' hallway; there was one more thing he needed to explain but River rounded on him in all her glorious pregnant fury.

"No! Not one more thing!" With that she whirled and slammed the newly created bathroom door behind her before he could gather himself to speak. How was she the one creature in the universe that could render him a mute?

He didn't know whether to knock or just leave her be; he settled for standing by in quiet anticipation, expecting a stream of expletives in various dead languages to be flung at him through the door but the silence was even more terrifying.

On the other side River couldn't make a sound as she caught her appearance in the mirror. Her breasts and belly had swollen to what she deemed were mammoth proportions, she looked ready to pop, but that wasn't the cause of her silence. She was young, well younger; gone were the faint lines and circles around her eyes, the smile lines and crease between her brows. Her hair was longer than she'd ever worn it, brushing against her bare breasts in red gold spirals, her lips were fuller and her wide cheekbones more pronounced. She looked a good twenty years younger then she had just last night. She let out a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding and burst into tears.

The Doctor heard a loud sob behind the door and knocked, "River? River, are you alright?"

She wasn't sure; this was such a huge shock. She had grown used to the Doctor's taunts about their apparent age difference, but they had never ceased to sting. He looked like such a boy in this current body of his, and no matter that he thought her the most amazing woman in the universe, to everyone else she looked old enough to be his mother. His very sexy mother, she reminded herself, but still, the body she'd inhabited only served as a reminder that he had all of time and space and she had given all her lifetimes for one with him. A long life to be sure, but even Timelords aged and every day she caught herself squinting into a mirror trying to remember if a certain line had been there the day before. Never let him see you age, never let him see the damage, she'd told her mother; words she'd tried to live by herself. So, if not for her immense belly and the cause of it, she would have been ecstatic at her age regression. She did look amazing, but, everything comes with a price, she thought and wiped away the tears and stared into her own green eyes, "I'm going to be a mother," her breath caught and she choked back another sob, What on earth was she going to do with a baby?

The TARDIS had been kind enough to supply a settee and she sat down on it now, pulling her legs against her stomach, hugging her arms around her middle. She wasn't one to panic, but she was panicking now, tapping the back of her head against the wall in time with her heartbeats. "Ok, River, pull yourself together. This is…" she was struggling to name what she was feeling, struggling through about a thousand warring emotions, "this is amazing," she felt herself break into a huge grin more befitting of the Doctor than her usual self. But, there it was, she was happy, over the moon, ridiculously happy. She ran a hand cautiously over her stomach, "You poor thing, " she smirked, "your parents are completely insane," she took a deep breath, "but I promise I will love you more than anything else in the universe."

The Doctor smiled, able to hear even the slightest whisper through the door: River was happy. She flung the door wide and let her husband take her nude form in, "Well, I don't think you can call me Mrs. Robinson anymore."

His face broke into a stupid grin, "No, I really can't," he said and let out a huge sigh of relief then pulled her towards him for a kiss; he was rewarded with a hard slap. "What have you done to me?"

The tears were starting up again and this time when he wrapped his arms around her she let them stay. The Doctor held her close and maneuvered them back into the bed, pulling the covers up around them and holding her tight, her back against his chest.

"River, shhh," he stroked her curls and kissed the top of her head gently, "it's going to be alright. It's the baby that triggered the regeneration."

He felt her stiffen in his arms at the word, regeneration. She twisted in his arms, green eyes large and frightened, "But Doctor, you said once a regeneration has started it can't be stopped."

She thought she was about to cease to exist he realized, "Oh, River," he stroked her cheek and kissed her gently, "you won't change, it's just taken your body back to its optimal state for the pregnancy."

She relaxed back into his arms, "And how did this happen?" Her tone had changed, taken on a bit of its usual brass once she realized she was in no danger of turning into a stranger.

Taking a note from her changed tone he ventured, "Well, you see when a man loves a woman very very much," he began but shut up very quickly when he saw that look which usually preceded another slap or pulse blast. "River, I swear I didn't think it was possible, I mean, you're human, mostly, sort of. Shit!"

"You said we didn't have to worry!"

To be fair, he really hadn't thought it a possibility, not that he had ever been able to think very clearly when River was around. But, still, it wasn't as if they hadn't been shagging for centuries, which, when he thought about it, really it was amazing said situation hadn't arisen earlier. He raised an eyebrow, "Rule one?"

"Oh don't you dare Rule One me! Not on this! I'm your wife and I've woken to find myself not only pregnant but looking like I've swallowed a planet! You must have always known this was a possibility, you shouldn't have kept it from me."

He was back in the library, cuffed to a wall watching the woman he knew he would someday love, sacrifice herself for him. She'd never mentioned a child, even in those last seconds, which even minding spoilers, surely she would have, that's why he'd never given the possibility a thought. Of course now, with all that behind them, he should have realized all bets were off.

"The library, you didn't say anything about a child," she heard the same heaviness in his voice that was always there when that dark day came up.

"You're right, god, I didn't even think. Of course I would have." Her hand went protectively around the mound of her stomach, "Well, what now my love?"

The Doctor's hand found hers and pressed a kiss to the back of it before joining her other around her middle, "Now, we make sure we keep you and this little one healthy and safe," he pulled her more tightly against him, folding his arms around her in a warm squeeze, "six months! This is going to be brilliant! We've never been together that long!"

River pushed herself out of his grasp and turned on him, "Six months!" The tears were gone now, replaced by furious indignation, "six months like this?" She threw the covers off and heaved herself out of the bed.

"River, what are you doing?" She was kicking at the piles of clothes strewn across the bedroom, clearly in search of something.

"Finding my gun, this time I really am going to shoot you!"