I*18 years later*

I Alex Stackhouse am finally free!~~~

It's my birthday today and I'm moving out, sayonara suckers!

Goodbye Jerkson your manwhore ways shan't be missed, goodbye Sookie your nosiness,screechy voice, cow eyes, idiocy and goody two shoes way will NOT be missed, goodbye Bon Bum Fuck Nowhere you will not be recalled with nostalgia, Auf Wiedersehen The General Idiotic Populace you and your ignorant little thoughts will forever stay in my worst memories, bye Adele whom I am still waiting to sing Rolling in the deep…I guess I'll miss your enabling …a little…shut up.

Ahem.

So my ,,adopted parents" died in a flood because some water faries decided they were to retarded to live when I was two.

Do not judge me, I had my parental figures before coming into this world and those two were frankly idiots,Mommy dearest was like a copy pasted Sookie and dad,well, he was a moron…only good for his looks that one…kinda like Sookie…I am detecting a pattern here.

How are you moving out at age 18 you may ask quite stupidly, HAH I am a child prodigy I reply smugly…shut up... I can hear you judging me…literally…

The rundown went like this Alex is not to be called Alexandra ever ,she is a very smart child who skipped quite a few grades and finished college at 15, then she went to work making her own publishing company that flourished and brought her enough money to move out and then some,by the time she was 17 her company was very established and she had opened a few stores, now she is moving to Shelverport to her new house , and she is speaking in third person because second puberty may or may not have left her a smidge unhinged.

Stop judging! The period cramps! The tits growing again! The paiiiinnnnnn!The hormones…oh fuck the hormones..

Let me tell you it really really blows when you not only have to deal with your own crazy hormones but also the hormones of every other teenager in the vicinity.

You think this is funny? You think this is a game?!

And the anime and literature was behind!

Update on the whole Sookeh situation, no she can't her my thoughts, yes I (painstakingly) learned how to meditate, yes it helped me block shit out, yes I still couldn't stand her and no I didn't tell her I could do the same thing she did.

Do I look insane? She would blurt it out, or tell Billy-pooh…ew…I did not need that shit.

I had been quite the recluse in my past life and quite the homebody and though my recluse tendencies have not changed and have indeed gotten stronger (it's one thing to think people are annoying dumbass wastes of air it's another thing to know it) my homebody tendencies have left the building.

I had played it pretty safe in my old life and I had died young so I never got to do a lot of things…things I am now going to do, now that I am moving out and financially well off.

To be honest the first 18 years of my life felt like a purgatory…or a MMORPG, constant grinding and waiting…now was the time to live and be free!

Well for a little while…until the whole vampire shit happens…then I'd be in deep shit unless I :

a) was badass enough to protect myself

b) had someone powerful to do it for me

because lets face it faery blood was a sweet drug to the vamps and I had no intention of being a snack/slave.

I had worked on the offensive spectre of my abilities and I had found out some interesting shit.

Apparently my blood wasn't as diluted as Sookeh's and I was her opposite.

She was a being with honey hair and skin who loved the sun and had later developed an ability to use light as a weapon.

I on the other hand was pale had black hair hated the sun and the heat (yes living in Bon-fuck-you was horrid) was a general night owl and developed an obsession with moonlight and cold places…(and let me tell you Adele was not amused when she found me in the fridge).

So my theory was that she was Seelie and I was Unseelie…so logically I would have a power that was in the Unseelie spectrum.

I experimented a little (a lot) and found that I had the power to somewhat control shadows (which I was psyched at! Everything had a shadow ergo I could go Shikamaru on everyone that annoyed me and at night hehehehemwahahaha) and had an ice affinity (I was always chill).

That was awesome as all fuck but I got some quirks…like not being able to see in the sun without good shades, having pointy teeth (cool), my skin burning easily (I always smelled of sun screen and had taken to lugging around a parasol …laugh it up) and a fucking temper like woah (I already had a temper but this added the extra bloodthirsty oomph)

A-hem (I pause as every HP fan cringes)

So yeah I founded Red Velvet (hehehe) publishing company and the Red Velvet bookshop/coffee shop chain (what? I may think its blasphemy to have books so close to such liquids but people are slaves to caffeine and convenience and I like money…i'm not greedy I just…ok a little greedy) that are both unique and majorly successful.

So far my master plan has been unfolding awesomely, I was making bank, I was moving away from all the bullshit that is to come and I was finally going to be able to be alone~~

Able to do all the things I wished, like sit at my home where it is safe and dark like the hermit I am running my company , reading, writing and taking long baths in peace…maybe even get a cat…ah bliss~~

I'd also finally be free of Sookeh (she was jelly I made more bank sitting on my ass when she had to work hers off…haha stay in school kids) Jerkson (who probably collects STDs like people collect postmarks) and All hail Jesus Adelle.

So yeah screened people to work in my establishments , learned to hack (I had free time damn it …and was good at it) got a place and was now leaving~

Some part of me wanted to stay and save Adele from Renold…no….it's Rene but she was showing Jesus down my throat and honestly I didn't care….I know how heartless blah blgh blub.

A part of me also wanted to save Eric from Sookies magical fairy vagina ( Pam thank you for that one) and her gap teeth but…you can't just mess with someones feels plus what could I do?