Feedback: Pretty please…it helps me improve

Authors Notes: Thank you to Willara4ever for all your help with this story. I appreciate your reading it and helping me make it cohesive.

Chapter 2

Willow sat there and cried for what could have been minutes, hours, days, she didn't care she just hurt so badly. Xander and Buffy couldn't handle watching the redhead cry alone any longer and made their way over and sat down next to her they each putting an arm around her to help console their grieving friend.

"I'm sorry guys, I thought I would be able to hold it together better," cried Willow.

"It's ok Will, we understand. We just want you to know that we're both here for you," said Buffy leaning her head on Willows shoulder.

"Yeah Will, we love you and want are here to help you as much as you need us. We all loved Tara and miss her," added Xander.

"I, I think that I need to do this in short visits..." said the redhead as she started to shake.

"That's fine, we'll do this in short visits, whatever you need," said Xander.

"Are you cold Willow or is it the emotions causing you to shake?"

"Emotions, I think we need to get me up and out of here before it turns into more," Willow said trying to stand up.

Xander and Buffy stood and then they both carefully helped their friend up. She was a bit unstable on her feet at first; they both supported her until she was able to stand on her own.

"I'm so sorry baby, I'll be back soon...I love you," whispered Willow.

The trio walked back to the Summers' house all lost in thought. Buffy and Xander replaying what they had seen with Willow at the cemetery and how fragile their friend looked, Willow her thoughts were as they always were - focused on Tara.

"You want something to eat Willow," asked Buffy as they entered the house.

"No thanks, I think I'm just going to go to my room," Willow said hoping that nobody would push her into being social.

"OK, but if you need anything you promise to just let us know."

"I will Buffy. Oh, and thank you both for, um, earlier. I knew it would be hard to go there, but it hurt more than I had thought it would."

"We're family Will, we'll always be there," said Xander giving her a quick hug and then watching her disappear up the stairs. "Do you think she's OK being alone after what happened at the cemetery?"

"She'll be fine Xander, but if it makes you feel better I'll go up and check on her in a bit."

"Thanks Buffy."

Willow reached the top of the stairs; to her left was Buffy's old room that was now hers...to her right, the room where her world and forever ended. Willow stood in the hall frozen at the memory of what had happened the last time she had been in that room.

"Things fall apart, they fall so hard..." started Tara as she stood in the doorway, Willow looked up from the bed where she was studying."

"Tara..." said Willow.

"You can't ever put them back the way they were..."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm sorry, it's just... you know it takes time. You can't just have coffee and expect," said Tara entering the room.

"I know," said Willow a bit ashamed.

"There's so much to work through. Trust has to build again, on both sides...you have to learn if you're even the same people you were, if you can fit in each other's lives, it's a long and important process and can we just skip it? Can you just be kissing me now?"

Willow searched Tara's face: 'did Tara just…' Tara stared back, nervous but sure. Willow stood as Tara moved to her and they kissed, passionately. Fingers interlocked, holding on to each other as tight as they could. They kept kissing. It was intense, it was passionate, and it was, above all else, love.

That night and into the next morning they made love for the first time since Tara had moved out. The next morning Willow went to check on Buffy after learning that she had been blind to her friends struggle and pain. While in the hall Willow ran into Dawn who then saw Tara peeking out of the bedroom covered only by a sheet causing Dawn to let out a loud squeal. Dawn was so happy and excited for them that she offered to go to the basement and watch TV really loudly.

They made love several more times and the next day that was the day her forever ended...

"Hey. Clothes." commented Willow

"Don't get too used to them," Tara warmly said with a sensual smile.

"Yes, ma'am," Willow said as she pulled Tara into a soft, tender, and loving kiss.

"Mmmm...Xander," said Tara.

"Okay, not quite the response I was fishing for."

"No, he's here."

"Think they're making up?"

"I hope so. That's the best part," Tara said turning back from the window to face Willow.

Then it happened...she felt the warmth of something on her face...

"Your shirt..." Tara started to say as she collapsed to the floor having been shot in the back by a stray bullet.

"Tara?" said Willow kneeling over Tara trying to get her to move. "Tara? Come, on baby. Get up. Please. Tara..."

She gently stroked her lovers hair as she sobbed. "No... no... no...

Oh God. No- Please, please...

Come on, come on... Tara! Come back, baby..."

It was then lost in grief and anger that she lost control and her world spiraled into the hell it now was.

Willow squeezed her eyes closed and placed her hand on the door, "Oh god baby, how do I live without you?" Willow quickly moved into her room she could feel her self-control waning.

"Do you think that she'll be ok here? I mean there are so many memories of Tara here," said Xander.

"I'm certain she'll be just fine," Giles stated as he entered the living room.

"Hey G-man," said Xander to the former Watcher who had returned with Willow from England. "I just meant if it is too much for her in such a fragile state she can come and stay at my place. I don't have a lot of space, but it would be a safe environment devoid of memories."

"We'll have to see how she's doing either later tonight or tomorrow," said Buffy.

"Ok, I'm just worried about her."

"We all are, but the coven wouldn't have let her leave if they didn't feel that she was capable of handling herself," said Giles.

"Yeah Giles, but thinking someone can handle something and having them actually do it our two VERY different things. You didn't see her at the cemetery," said Buffy.

"Bloody hell, you guys took her to the cemetery. What were you thinking?"

"We were thinking that it was where she wanted to go and it might help her being able to talk to Tara and tell her goodbye," Xander said defensively.

"How did she handle it?"

"Not well, though better than I had anticipated. How would you think she would handle it, honestly," said Buffy.

"Well, I don't suppose anyone would handle that well," admitted Giles.

"I was really proud of her for being the one to make the call to leave…she knew her limit and was the one that said we needed to leave," Xander reminded Buffy.

"That's true, she did tell us that she needed to leave," Buffy said proud of her friend.

"Wow, I wasn't sure she'd be able to do that, ever," said Giles.

"Tara, baby? I hope that you can hear me…I love you," whispered Willow as she closed the door to the bedroom behind her and tears started to slowly roll down her face.

Willow went to the chair by the bed and pulled out from the bag on the chair some herbs and salts to help her create a cleansed place to meditate from. Willow had worked with the coven on how to use meditation to help with overwhelming emotions. She had spent a lot of time at the coven in a meditative state.

Spreading the salts into a circle on the floor, Willow then changed into some loose clothes and put the herbs into a mortar and ground the herbs together and placed them into a herb oil infuser, she moved over to the circle and placed the infuser in it. Willow moved around the room and lit a few candles and then turned the lights down. Looked around the room to make sure everything was correct to get the best energy, Willow the sat down into the circle and lit the infuser. She closed her eyes and began her chant; easing herself into that state she knew so well from her time in England.

"Hey Buffy," said Xander after they finished eating.

"Yeah," replied Buffy.

"Do you think we should maybe check on Willow? It's been pretty quiet up there and she didn't come down for dinner."

"Sure, I'll go check on her and see if she is ready for dinner," with that Buffy left the room and headed upstairs to check on Willow.

Buffy reached the top of the stairs and it struck her how hard it must have been for Willow to walk past the room where Tara died in her arms. Buffy's heart broke remembering finding the body on the floor she couldn't imagine how hard it would have been for Willow.

After standing there for a couple of minutes Buffy noticed a scent coming from Willows room and softly knocked on the door but didn't receive a response.

"Hey Will," said Buffy softly as she started to open the door hoping not to wake her friend if she was asleep. As she opened the door the scent became stronger. She looked inside and saw Willow in a deep meditative trance. Buffy watched as the redhead sat there looking so serene. A closer look showed tears streaming down the red-heads face. Buffy wanted to reach out and touch her friend but knew that while she was meditating that would be a bad thing. She sat down on the bed and watched the redhead, Buffy wanted to make sure she was there when Willow finished meditating. She wanted to make sure that Willow was OK, that today wasn't too much for her.

TBC…