Episode 2: Nimbus Cloud of Roshi
Before much time had passed, the sun began to dip lower and lower into the western sky, and Bulma, deciding to stop for the night to set up camp, slowed her motorcycle to a stop.
"I get the soft leaves for my bed!" Goku shouted happily, hopping down from the seat.
"As if," Bulma scoffed. "You really think I'd sleep outside?"
Goku furrowed his brow. "Well, where else are you gonna sleep? I don't see any houses around here."
Bulma produced the capsule case from her fanny pack. "No way!" Goku said. "You're not really gonna pop a house out of one of those things!"
"They're called 'Poké Balls', and you can put anything inside them." Bulma climbed off of the motorcycle and scanned the area in the fading light. "This looks like a nice, level spot. Better clear out, monkey boy," she said, tossing another capsule, which exploded in a puff of smoke into a white dome-shaped house with a long antenna and a small tower extending from the top.
Bulma turned to see Goku shaking several feet behind her. "Well, still wanna sleep outside?" she asked, smirking.
"Are you sure you're not a witch?" Goku asked, suspicious.
"Oh, will you just shut up and come inside?" Bulma said irritably, opening the door to the tiny house and stepping inside. Goku tentatively followed. Bulma clapped her hands, and the lights blinked on.
"Sheesh," Bulma said, fanning the air in front of her nose, "you're really stinking up the joint. You need a bath."
"Bath? What's that?" Goku asked.
"You've gotta be joking!" Bulma shrieked.
A few moments later, the tub in the house's bathroom was full of warm water, and Bulma kneeled beside it, clutching a loofah in one hand and shutting the faucet with the other. "Come on, I guess I gotta help you."
Goku entered the bathroom completely naked, staring curiously at a towel.
"Will you hurry up and get in!" Bulma said. Goku obediently climbed in, standing knee-deep in water. Bulma squirted a large amount of shampoo into one hand and lathered it into Goku's hair.
"What is that? It feels weird," Goku complained.
"Oh, shut up. You know how many guys dream of this?" Bulma replied, grabbing the soapy loofah. "Turn around so I can wash your back."
Goku turned, his tail waving in the air like a tentacle. "You actually attached this thing to your butt?" Bulma said, grabbing it.
"Hey, don't touch my tail!" Goku said, yanking it out of Bulma's hand and grabbing the loofah. "I can wash my own butt."
Bulma's screams could be heard from a very impressive distance.
Bulma sank into the warm bubbly waters, crossing her legs and hanging them over the edge of the tub. "Is this kid for real?" she said to herself. "He acts like I'm the weirdo."
She glanced over and found Goku staring at her, and collapsed beneath the bubbles. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE LOOKING AT, PIPSQUEAK!" she screamed.
"So instead of a tail, you've got an extra butt," he said.
"IT'S NOT A BUTT, YOU MORON! ALL GIRLS HAVE THEM!"
Goku and Bulma's eyes locked for a few moments.
"Goku..." Bulma growled when the Chimchar didn't leave.
"What?"
"GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT!" Bulma yelled, hurling everything she could reach at him, sending him scurrying out the bathroom door.
"This is food?" Goku said, looking at everything set on the table. He picked up a loaf of bread and took a large bite, and chewed a few times before spitting it out. "Ew, this bread stuff is gross!" He grabbed a mug of dark brown coffee to wash it down, and spat that back into the mug. "And this soup is bitter!"
"That's coffee, stupid," Bulma said, "and if you don't like it, you can go find your own food!"
So Goku left the house, walking into the night.
About thirty minutes later, a massive object soared by overhead and landed in a canyon. "Oh, wow! That's a big bird!" Goku cried, hurrying after it, and leaping down into the canyon.
He searched for the bird through a thick forest of dead trees at the bottom of the canyon, and finally found it sitting on top of a large rock slab. A yellow-furred Persian with dressed in a black trench coat and a red Vulpix dressed in ninja attire stood next to it.
"According to our agent, the Evolution Stone should be somewhere in this canyon," the Persian was saying.
"I dunno, maybe we should go back and tell Emperor Pilaf that it was a dud? This place gives me the creeps," the Vulpix said.
"Oh, quit your whining, Shu!" the Persian said.
"Hey, that's my bird! It saw it first! You can't have it!" Goku shouted, brandishing his Power Stick.
"Hey, look, Mai," the Vulpix said. "Who's the kid?"
Suddenly, the snarls of a multitude of Watchog filled the air, as the beasts attacked. Mai, the Persian, and Shu, the Vulpix, screamed and quickly climbed back into what Goku thought was a bird and took off.
Goku fended off the Watchog from all sides with his Power Stick, smacking them in their faces, their sides, their hind-quarters, and even killed one by punching it in the forehead. Before long, the Watchog retreated, and Goku carried the dead one back to camp.
Disgusted, Bulma refused Goku entry until he'd gotten rid of the dead Pokémon, as well as a miniscule Scolipede he'd found on the way back. Shrugging, Goku sat his meal down and gathered stones into a circle, gathered some firewood, and cooked both before devouring them.
"All right, Bulma, I'm done!" Goku said, bursting through the door.
"At least brush your teeth!" Bulma said, grabbing a set of blankets in the bedroom. But instead, Goku immediately went to the bed and began to jump excitedly on it.
"This bed is so soft!" he said. "It's been a long time since I've had somebody to sleep with!"
"'Sleep with'?" Bulma said incredulously. "You're kidding. Here's your blanket, and here's the floor."
"Aw, but Grandpa always used to let me use him for a pillow!" Goku protested.
"YOU'RE NOT USING ME FOR A PILLOW, FREAK!" Bulma shouted.
The morning sun broke over the horizon, spilling soft yellow light into the capsule house through the windows. Goku climbed out of his palette and yawned, stretching. He glanced over at Bulma, who had kicked off all of her blankets, with a sudden curiosity.
"Her pillow's not as big as Grandpa's, but I can try it!" he said, climbing onto the bed and laying his head on Bulma's crotch. He felt something missing, though, so he rolled over onto his hands and knees, and patted the area where his head had been, before pulling Bulma's panties off. What he found shocked him.
He jumped off the bed, screaming, "Bulma, your stones are gone!"
"What, what!" Bulma said, instantly awake. She leapt out of bed and ran to a table next to the wall, and opened a bag on it.
"What are you talking about, the Evolution Stones are right here! Stop having nightmares, will you, you're freaking me out!" Bulma said, replacing the stones.
An hour later, Goku waited boredly for Bulma to finish getting herself ready for the day. "Bul-ma! How much longer?" he whined. "You're so slow, you're going to turn into a turtle!"
"Excuse me, you're the one who wakes up way too early!" Bulma shouted back from the bathroom.
"I guess I'll go get some exercise, then," Goku said, exiting the house and running up to a group of boulders nearby. With a grunt, he lifted the first, smashing it to pieces in his hands, and then a second, before picking up a dark blue mass that squirmed as he lifted it.
"Huh?" Goku said, sitting the object back on the ground.
"Dear me, what a fright," it said.
"Oh, no! You really did turn into a turtle!" Goku said, realizing that what he'd just picked up was in fact a rather large Tirtouga.
"What are you babbling about?" Bulma demanded, sticking her head out the front door. "What's with the turtle?"
"So it's not you?" Goku said.
"Pssh," Bulma replied. "It looks like a sea turtle, but what's it doing so far from the sea?"
"Pardon me, but may I trouble you for a bucket of seawater?" the Tirtouga said politely.
"Sure," Bulma said, shrugging, and disappearing inside the door. She reappeared a few moments later carrying a large pail full of water, which the Tirtouga submerged his head in and sucked up like a vacuum.
"Thank you so much," the Tirtouga said. "I should explain. You see, I'm a turtle."
"Shocking," Bulma said flatly.
"I'm a sea turtle, to be precise, but I went gathering mushrooms, don't you know, and, well, darn it all, I took a wrong turn. I've been wandering around for the past year or so, hoping to find my way back to the ocean," the Tirtouga explained.
"Wow!" Goku said.
"Well, you're going in the wrong direction," Bulma said. "The ocean is about 120 kilometers to the south."
"That far? Oh dear," the Tirtouga said. "It'll take me twenty years to go that far!"
"How exactly does that work?" Bulma muttered under her breath.
"Hey, we'll take you!" Goku said.
"Really? Oh, thank you so much!" the Tirtouga said.
"Are you NUTS?" Bulma said. "I am on summer vacation, you know. There's only thirty days left to find all the Evolution Stones! It's not our responsibility, we've got our own quest to think about!"
"Then I'll go without you," Goku said, lifting the Tirtouga onto his back.
"FINE!" Bulma screamed, "BUT DON'T YOU EVER DARKEN MY DOOR AGAIN!"
Goku began walking southward, leaving Bulma alone.
"Who needs ya, anyways?" Bulma said aloud.
"Wait, I forgot to get his Evolution Stone! If I can't get it back..."
The roar of a Tyranitar sent shivers down Bulma's spine, and she turned to see the massive Pokémon stomping a few hundred meters away. Not long after, she was speeding after Goku on her capsule motorcycle, still wearing her pajamas.
"Wait up!" she called. "You can't do this without me!"
"But I thought," Goku began.
"Listen, I'm just too noble for my own good!" Bulma replied.
"Oh, I get it," Goku said with a grin. "You got scared." He snickered.
"Shows what you know, doofus! The great Bulma is never scared!"
After a few hours of traveling, and an encounter with a particularly nasty Ursaring who seemed to have a taste for Tirtouga flesh, Goku, Bulma, and the Tirtouga arrived at the beach.
"We've arrived! You've done it, lad, it's the ocean!" the Tirtouga cried happily.
"Woah!" Goku shouted. "That's the biggest river I've ever seen! Must be pretty roomy, huh?"
"Could you wait here for just a little bit? Such great generosity shouldn't go unrewarded!" the Tirtouga said, climbing into the ocean.
"Gee, I can't wait to see a turtle's idea of a reward," Bulma said sarcastically.
"Reward?" Goku said, running into the water after the Tirtouga, who quickly disappeared.
Bulma slipped out of her shoes and stepped into the water. "Y'know, if I'd known I'd end up here, I would've packed a swimsuit."
Goku dunked his head beneath the surface, and came out sputtering. "Gross! Who put all this salt in the water?"
Not long after, something in the distance caught Bulma's eye. "Hey, what's that?" she said, retreating to the sandy beach.
"Hey, it the turtle!" Goku said. "But there's somebody riding on him!"
"You can see that far?" Bulma said. "But who would ride a turtle?"
"Aloha!" cried the passenger, an elderly Blastoise wearing sunglasses and a white mustache and beard and carrying a wooden cane with a large bulb on the end.
"Sorry to keep you waiting!" the Tirtouga said.
"Oh, just what we need, an old man," Bulma muttered.
"Hello!" the Blastoise said. "I heard you helped my friend here!"
"Who are you?" Goku asked.
"Who am I? Why, my boy, I am the Turtle Hermit, Master Roshi!" the Blastoise answered dramatically.
"Did they both help you?" Roshi asked the Tirtouga.
"Only the boy, I'm afraid," the Tirtouga answered, shaking his head.
"Well, my boy," Master Roshi said, stepping toward Goku, "we owe you one, and I'm payin' up with a mighty nice reward!"
Roshi paused for dramatic effect, before holding his cane in the air and crying, "COME TO ME, IMMORTAL MOLTRES!"
A few moments passed, and nothing happened.
"Maybe he meant 'invisible'," Bulma muttered.
"Sir, if you'll recall the unpleasantness with the tainted bird seed..." the Tirtouga said.
"Gah! You're right! We lost the poor fellow!" Master Roshi said.
"So the 'Immortal Moltres'... died?" Bulma said.
"I was gonna have him grant you immortality, but I guess that won't happen now. But I know what I'll do!" Roshi said. "This is even better! COME TO ME, FLYING ALTARIA!" Roshi struck the same pose as when he'd called for the Immortal Moltres. Sure enough, a white cloud-like Altaria zipped through the sky toward them.
"It's a cloud!" Bulma gasped.
"This," Roshi said, as the Altaria stopped in front of him, "is the Flying Altaria, and I'm giving it to you."
"So how do you eat it?" Goku asked.
"You don't eat it! You ride it!" Roshi replied. "It'll take you wherever you want!"
"You mean it'll really fly me around?" Goku said.
"Yes," Roshi said, "but only if your heart is pure. Watch this." Roshi hopped onto the Altaria, and promptly fell through it, landing hard on the sand.
"Help, I've fallen and I can't get up!" Roshi said, as the Tirtouga helped him to his feet.
"M-master, how can this be?" the Tirtouga asked.
"Let me try!" Goku said, leaping nimbly onto the Altaria, which seemed now as solid as the Tirtouga's shell. "Whoo-hoo!" Goku cried, as the Altaria soared high into the air, looping and spiraling.
Suddenly, Bulma noticed something hanging around Master Roshi's neck. The old man was wearing a necklace- and the jewel was the bright orange Sun Stone!
"Hey, hey! What about me, give me something!" Bulma blurted before she could stop herself.
"You said this girl didn't help you?" Roshi asked the Tirtouga.
"No, sir, she did not," the Tirtouga answered firmly.
"Well, I've only got the one Altaria, b-but I s-s'pose there is something else I could give you i-if you let me t-take a p-p-peek at your p-p-panties!" Roshi said, going red in the face.
"Now sir! Really? I guess now we know why you can't ride the cloud," the Tirtouga said.
"Hey, cut me some slack! It's hard living hundreds of years all alone!" Roshi said. "I deserve a little peek every now and then!"
"Well, I guess..." Bulma said, blushing. "If it's only my panties... LOOK FAST!" Bulma jerked her dress up for a split-second, bearing herself to Roshi, whose blood pressure spiked, causing a fountain of blood to spray from his nostrils.
"Y'see that, boy?" Roshi said, turning to the Tirtouga. "Like I always say, 'live right, and life throws you a prize every now and then!'"
"Okay, now! Come on!" Bulma said impatiently. "You owe me now, right?"
"Oh, I suppose so," Roshi said, scratching his head.
"Gimme that!" Bulma said, stepping forward and snatching the Sun Stone from around Roshi's neck.
"Pretty, huh? I skimmed it off the ocean a couple hundred years ago and put it in this necklace," Master Roshi said.
"HEY GOKU!" Bulma called. Goku descended on his Altaria, stopping at Bulma's side.
"What's up?" he said.
"Look at this!" Bulma said, holding up the Stone for Goku to see.
"Wow, an Evolution Stone!" Goku said.
"Then I'm right, right? My radar showed one way to the south, so this must be it! It would've been a pain getting it out of the ocean!"
"This must be the Sun Stone!" Goku said, grinning widely.
"Hold on just a minute!" Roshi said. "I never said anything about givin' it to you. Especially since it's apparently valuable."
"Oh, didn't you?" Bulma said, winking seductively, and flashing Master Roshi several more times.
"Okay, okay!" Roshi said, recoiling and burying his nose in a handkerchief. "You can keep it!"
A few moments later, Master Roshi was riding his Tirtouga back to his island home, and Goku and Bulma were traveling back to their capsule house.
Approaching the house, much more quickly this time due to the speed of Goku's Flying Altaria, Goku shouted, "Aren't you glad we helped that Tirtouga now!"
"You bet!" Bulma said, stopping her motorcycle. "Soon as I get dressed, we can go looking for the other three! That's all that's left!"
Bulma ran inside, and there was a piercing scream. "MY PANTIES!" Goku rushed inside.
"Then that means... I had nothing..." Bulma whimpered.
"Oh, don't worry! You'll survive without those parts!" Goku laughed.
Bulma spun around, her face contorting with rage. "You mean you... YOU TOOK OFF MY PANTIES!"
"What're panties?"
"THESE!" Bulma shouted, holding up the plain white pair of underwear that Goku had so casually tossed aside that morning.
"Oh yeah, I did that," Goku answered.
Bulma replied with a round of machine gun fire, chasing Goku out of the house.
A few moments later, Bulma was dressed, and pressed a button on the outside of the house, which immediately returned to its capsulized form, shrinking into the shape of a red and white sphere.
"If you ever do something like that again, I'm shooting to kill!" Bulma said angrily.
"I guess you could make it up by letting me on your cloud. We'll make much better time that way," Bulma said.
"I wouldn't try that," Goku said. "The Turtle Hermit said that you have to have a pure heart."
"Nobody's heart is purer than mine!" Bulma said, hopping onto the cloud, and promptly falling flat on her face on the ground.
"Told ya so!" Goku said, grinning.
"Is it a sin to be too beautiful?" Bulma said, picking herself up off the ground. She sighed, and climbed on her motorcycle, and she and Goku began to head west.
A ship beached itself on a small island marked only by a large, white house with the words "KAME HOUSE" written across the front wall, and out hopped the Vulpix named Shu, the Persian named Mai, and a fat, blue Palpitoad.
"Where is he? Where is the old man?" the Palpitoad demanded.
"Uh, sir, there's nobody-" Mai began.
"Shut up, Mai. There is indeed somebody!" the Palpitoad growled, pointing to a blue-scaled Croconaw wearing sunglasses and laying in a lawnchair in front of the house.
"What the hell are you doing here? You won't ever appear in the series again, and I demand to know wear the old man is!" the Palpitoad said, brandishing a knife threateningly.
"Hey, now, there's no need for that! The old man's right here!" called a voice.
The Palpitoad and his underlings turned to see a Blastoise approaching them on a Tirtouga.
"Give us your Evolution Stone!" the Palpitoad demanded.
"Sorry, I already gave it away," Master Roshi said, climbing off of the Tirtouga. "To a pretty girl on the beach."
At this, the Palpitoad screamed in frustration.
"Are you okay, sire?" Shu asked.
"Fine, fine," the Palpitoad said. "Well, we're beached here. Care to give us a hand, old man?"
"Sure," Roshi agreed.
The Palpitoad, Mai, and Shu climbed back into the ship, and Master Roshi placed his hands firmly against the hull and groaned, pushing with all his might. He pushed so hard, in fact, that one of his hands tore a hole in the hull. Chuckling to himself, Master Roshi pushed the boat back out into the ocean.
"Thank you!" the Palpitoad called.
"Don't mention it!" Roshi said.
It wasn't long before the Palpitoad was impatiently ordering Mai and Shu to bail as much water out of the ship as they could as it sunk deeper and deeper below the water.