Harley gaped at him in astonishment. "Jack Napier?" she repeated. "Who…who's that?"
"That's who I am," he retorted, firmly. "Jack Napier. I remember everything about my life very clearly, except…" He frowned. "Except…the recent past is very hazy. I was at…Ace Chemicals and there was…some guy in a Bat costume who…accidentally knocked me down into a vat…I remember falling down, down, down…but that's it. That's the last thing I remember before I woke up here. Wherever here is," he said, looking around. "This place is hideous. All these grinning clown images everywhere. I hate clowns. They creep me out. Which is why I want to know which practical joker did this to my face, with the makeup and everything. Was it you?" he asked. "You got some on your face too…"
He reached up a hand to try to rub what he thought was makeup off his face. And Harley saw him begin to panic when he saw that nothing was coming off in the mirror. "Oh…my God," he stammered. "This…this isn't makeup, is it?"
Harley shook her head. "It's…what happened to you because of the chemicals," she whispered. "It's permanent."
"Oh God!" he gasped. "Oh God, I look ridiculous! I can't walk around with a face like this! What will people say? What will Jeannie say? She won't want me after this! No woman would want a clown-faced freak!"
He buried his face in his hands, and then looked up at her. "Where is Jeannie?" he asked.
"Who's…Jeannie?" asked Harley, slowly.
"My wife," he said. "Where is my wife?"
"Wife?" repeated Harley, horrified. "But…but no, no, you ain't married, puddin'!"
"Of course I'm married!" he snapped. "I remember my wedding day very clearly! We got married in a little chapel in Gotham, and honeymooned in Niagara Falls. Jeannie always wanted to see Niagara Falls."
"No, I always wanted to see Niagara Falls!" shrieked Harley. "That dumb broad stole my honeymoon idea and my man! Doncha remember me at all, Mr. J?" she asked, desperately. "Your Harley girl, who gave up everything for you? Who gave up her job and her sanity to help you bust outta Arkham…"
"Arkham?" repeated Joker. "Arkham Asylum? I've never been to that horrible place."
"Oh yes, you have!" snapped Harley. "That's where we met! You can't have forgotten that! You can't have forgotten…me…"
She trailed off at the blank look in his eyes. "Mr. J, please," she whispered, touching his cheek. "Please stop pretending. Please just let this all be a joke. I won't even be mad. I just want my Joker back."
She leaned forward to kiss him, but he gently shoved her away. "Look, I'm…sorry," he stammered. "I don't know who you are. But I'm a married man, and I can't just…I mean, clearly there are some gaps in my memory, and clearly if I…didn't remember who I was, I might have…led you to believe…that there might be something between us. But I am married, and I love Jeannie. I don't know what's been going on since I fell into the chemicals, because I can't remember any of it. But I can remember my life before then very clearly, and I love my wife. I couldn't just…I'm sorry."
"But…but you're my Joker, puddin'," whispered Harley, tears in her eyes. "My Joker."
"I…don't know who that is," he repeated. "I'm sorry. I'm Jack Napier. If I can find Jeannie, I can prove it. She'll recognize me, even like this. She vowed to always love me, for better or for worse…I need to find her," he said, heading for the door.
"But puddin', it's the middle of the night!" exclaimed Harley.
"I know this city like the back of my hand – I grew up here," he said. "I know where our house is, and if she hasn't moved…"
"Wait for me, puddin' – I'm coming with you," said Harley, racing after him. "You're not yourself, and I can't leave you alone if you suddenly snap outta this. You got people out there looking for you, the cops and the Bat…you're a wanted man!"
He paused. "Wanted?" he repeated. "What am I wanted for?"
"You're…you're a criminal, puddin'," said Harley. "We both are, we…we commit crimes, for fun…"
"Fun?" he repeated, incredulous. "Since when is that a good motive for a crime? Maybe if you're starving or desperate, but…to be a criminal for fun…that's crazy!"
"Yes!" exclaimed Harley. "Yes, it is! Because we're both crazy, puddin'! Remember? We got a mad love! And the only reason to do anything is for fun, and the only way to feel alive is to be insane! You taught me that!"
Joker ran his fingers through his hair. "I've been…insane?" he stammered. "I…guess that explains why I was in Arkham…God, it must have been terrible! Thank goodness I've regained my sanity and my identity at last! And…you were in Arkham with me?" he asked.
"Yeah, puddin', remember? I was your shrink," said Harley.
"So…you'll know…did anyone ever come to see me there?" he asked. "Did Jeannie ever come? She must have, she wouldn't have left me alone in that horrible place, she loves me…"
Harley shook her head slowly. "You never had any visitors, puddin'. You didn't remember who you were, and neither did anyone else."
Fear shot into Joker's eyes, which was an equally bizarre thing to see in them as nonrecognition. "Oh my God, something must have happened to her!" he whispered. "Otherwise there's no way she would have abandoned me! Something terrible must have…"
He raced out the door without another word. "Puddin', wait!" shrieked Harley, running after him. "Wait for me!"
She followed him as he ran through the pelting rain, through the glistening streets until at last he stopped in front of a ruined building. It showed signs of fire damage, and stood blackened and empty against the darkness.
Joker clapped a hand to his mouth. "No!" he gasped, racing inside the empty building. But it was deserted. "No, Jeannie! Where are you?! Oh God, what on earth happened to our home?!"
"Puddin', come out," said Harley, grabbing his arm and dragging him back outside into the rain. "That house isn't safe – it could collapse at any moment."
"Do you think she got out?" gasped Joker, desperately. "Do you think she's safe somewhere else? Or do you think she…"
He choked, and Harley saw tears trailing down his face, mingling with the rain. This was definitely not an act, she realized with a lurch of agony. Mr. J was a good actor, but even he wouldn't be able to cry over an imaginary woman.
"Hey! People are sleeping here!" shouted an old lady from a neighboring window. "Stop all that shouting!"
"She's awake - maybe she'll know what happened to Jeannie," began Joker, hopefully, racing toward the neighboring door.
"Hang on, puddin'," said Harley, grabbing his arm. "You're kinda…recognizable. Let me handle this."
She wiped off her clown makeup and let down her hair, and then knocked on the door. "Decent people are trying to sleep, y'know!" snapped the old woman, when she opened the door a few moments later.
"I'm real sorry to bother you," said Harley, sincerely, putting on her most innocent face. "But I was looking for…the couple who used to live in that house, and I was wondering if you knew what happened to them."
The old woman's face fell. "I knew 'em," she said, nodding. "Nice couple, really in love, y'know? You could just tell from their eyes, from the way they looked at each other. Tragic what happened to 'em."
"Oh yeah?" asked Harley, trying to control her jealousy.
"He disappeared one night," continued the woman. "She was frantic. Searched everywhere for him, but he never came back. Wasn't the type to just abandon her or anything, so something bad must have happened to him. Not too uncommon here in Gotham for people to run afoul of some criminal or another. And then there was the fire a few months after, destroyed everything she had left of him and their married life. Tragic."
"But she…survived the fire?" pressed Harley.
"Oh yes," said the old lady. "Went to live in some other part of Gotham, and never came back. Can't say I blame her – too many memories here."
"Do you know where exactly she went?" asked Harley. "I'm her…uh…third cousin twice removed and I really wanna find her."
The old lady shrugged. "She didn't tell me. Maybe you should check with the cops. Always a good place to start when you're searching for missing people in this town. Not saying she's dead or anything, but you never know in Gotham. A lotta bodies turn up at the GCPD, although his never did. She went there every day to check, but they never found his body."
"Well…thanks," said Harley, nodding at her. She returned to the Joker, who was pacing.
"Well?" he demanded.
Harley repeated what the woman had told her. "Ok, let's go to the cops," he said.
"We can't, puddin'," retorted Harley. "They'll think this is a joke – you're kinda known for those. They'll just lock you up in Arkham again, and you'll never bust outta there if you ain't thinking straight. Or at least, ain't thinking like my Mr. J does."
"But we have to find her!" said Joker, desperately. "I have to know what's happened to her! She's the love of my life! When the whole world seems crazy and unfamiliar, you need the love of your life to restore balance, and make you see sense again!"
"Yeah, you…sure do," agreed Harley, slowly, tears in her eyes.
She took his hand. "Look, puddin', we've had a long night. Why don't we go home and sleep on it, and tomorrow, if you still ain't feeling better, we'll do everything we can to find Jeannie. We got a lotta friends who can help, we got connections all throughout Gotham, and if worst comes to worst, we got a guy who never fails to find missing people – Batman."
"Batman?" repeated Joker. "The man who did this to me?" he said, gesturing to his face.
"Yeah, but he's always there for you in a crisis," said Harley. "You guys are buddies."
Joker stared at her. "I…I really did go crazy, didn't I?" he whispered. "I must have completely lost all sense of reason or rationality. What kind of insane person would be buddies with that freak in a bat costume? And you…you must be crazy too, otherwise why would you be with me?"
"Because…I love you, puddin'," stammered Harley. "I love you."
He snorted. "How could you love a crazy person? How could anybody? How could…Jeannie ever…"
He choked on a sob, and Harley tried to comfort him, a mixture of pain and fury burning inside her. If she heard Jeannie's name one more time, she might scream. The idea that Mr. J had been married before he met her, to a woman who he described as 'the love of my life,' which he never described Harley as, made the very mention of her name like a dagger in her heart. But sleep would help, she reassured herself. In the morning, he was gonna be his regular laughing, happy, crazy self. He just had to be.