"Sunshine, there ain't a thing that you can do that's gonna ruin my night."
Assuring himself to move on was one hell of a task. It wasn't easy. And worse, it couldn't be solved by logic, no matter how clever a Red-X was.
Memories of her still spun in his head, and he seemed unable to get them out of his mind. They were intoxicating, leaving him with question whether that night they broke up was real or not. Then the questions grew; he wasn't even sure if those night he'd spent in the T-tower, not to pull a prank on the titans or steal anything from them, but to have Raven on his arms were actually real. Those nights seemed so far away now—as if it happened years ago, not days ago or weeks ago or months ago.
He felt sick every time he recalled her—hanging between reality and memories. Those passive lips and her hoarse, deep voice, and simply everything about her were impossible for him to remember without an escort of the stinging pain that went down his spine. It hurt—he didn't want to feel the pain that wasn't supposed to be there, because he was supposed to move on. But the pain still stubbornly lingered, reminding him that if he wasn't so selfish and cowardly, he wouldn't lose Raven at the first place.
But heck, Raven was his past. She broke up with him. He wasn't some desperate gruesome guy who'd be that broken just because of a girl. He was Red-X, the notorious thief. He was Matthew Voltair. Girls wanted him.
Striving for a girl, especially a titan, wasn't his style. He had to move on. He had to.
But inside, he knew he didn't want to. As much as he hated to admit it, he couldn't lie to himself.
He sighed again as he opened the door to his balcony, trying to assure himself that he was ready to face the night. It was the first day he worked again since he broke up with Raven a week ago—the whole week was wasted on him being an alcoholic jerk again, playing with those pretty girls in the bars. He even bought himself a new Ferrari, speeding with it through the winding road of the hill so that he could forget his aching chest for a while. But he couldn't stay that way—he was Red-X, the thief, the enemy of Teen Titans. He would make his comeback, no matter what; even when he knew he would have to face Raven again. He only made a wish that he wouldn't have to face her in one-on-one. Not within this month, at least.
If it happened, he wouldn't know what to say. He'd lost his quip when it was against Raven—at least when there were other titans he could make fun of any of them but her.
Red-X felt the wind going through the tiny holes of the fabric of his costume. He made sure everything was right, that he'd concealed his identity flawlessly. Nobody knew who Red-X really was, not even his father, who also happened to be the richest man in the city. He wouldn't let any of the titans reveal his identity, not that easily.
His target for the night was the newest collection of the museum. Apparently, the disappearance of the famous thief for the whole week had assured them that it was safe to put their new valuable things into the exhibition again. Stupid.
He was just on hiatus, healing his broken heart temporarily, but it didn't mean he was gone forever. Who would be the witty thief if he was gone? No. Red-X was back, and he would get that necklace. Nothing could ever prevent him from getting everything that he wanted.
He worked fairly fast that night. The plan went as smooth as expected. No alarm was damaged during the heist. No one was hurt—not even the titans. Normally, he'd wait for them to come just to add some fun to the whole heist. But this time, he was glad they didn't come.
All that he wanted to do by pulling the heist was to show the city that Red-X would never disappear, and to show Raven that he was still as strong as normal. That he was still the old Red-X. That their breaking up didn't change a thing.
He praised himself inwardly as he teleported himself to a rooftop. The success wasn't an expected one since his heart was still aching and his mind refused to think of anything but Raven. But Red-X was Red-X—his scheme was perfect, his motion was soft and careful as a cat. So there, the necklace was safely lying in his pocket.
He sat on a big pipe, pulling out his thievery reward for that night out of his secret pocket carefully. He admired the gleaming beauty which came from the gem, the amethyst which was the pendant of the expensive necklace. That color always reminded him of the girl he loved dearly, and it sent a question into his head, about why the titans didn't stop him, as normal.
He suddenly missed the fight he had with her now, even when he didn't expect it to happen; how he always threw the tape to shut her mouth up so that she couldn't murmur a mantra to stop him. He found her glare amusing whenever that happened.
That was also the reason why he chose to finally answer his curiosity by coming to her room intensively, knowing there was a spot of weakness in the T tower's security system, only to watch her as she slept. He then found that serene face she had as she was sleeping was also as addictive as the face she showed him when they were fighting.
Shortly, everything about her suddenly became such an addiction to him, more than the heroine that he had ever tried once. He suddenly found a part of himself was attached to her unintentionally, and there was a binding feeling that made him unable to resist the temptation to talk to her. That was why he risked his life by speaking to her in her room—he almost died because of her sudden attack. That was the angriest Raven he'd ever seen. But even when it was hard, his skill finally brought him to win her acceptance. Friendship wasn't as difficult when it came to her, no matter what people always thought of Raven. He found her amusing and incredibly smart—the smartest girl he'd ever found, that he could talk about anything with her. If intelligence could attract people, Raven was surely one of the best examples for that.
Her voice was even more attractive to him, especially when those lips were parted not to murmur some spells. Shortly after that, he became completely defenseless against the feeling that grew in an instant, that he attempted on anything to make her look at him, although he knew he was just this criminal who she and her friends always wanted to jail.
Reminiscence of him trying so hard to get her until he finally got the consent to land a kiss on her cold lips for the first time while gazing on the necklace in his hand, shining under the city lights.
"You're not getting away as fast as I thought," a voice behind him said. The voice that made the hair on the nape of his neck rise.
Red-X was surprised, instinctively putting the gem back into his pocket. He turned back, facing the girl whose emotionless face he missed the most. His heart beat fast, and at the very same time, hurt. She flew toward him, her hood was on that he couldn't see her facial expression yet he was pretty much sure that she was deadpanning as normal.
But a part of him—a part that he always thought was stupid—wished that she was trying to cover her sorrow with that hood.
He did a backflip, creating a distance between them. Standing too close to her might result in his hands aching with the wanting to touch her silky skin.
"Hey, Sunshine," he forced his voice to sound as cheerful as he could. "Alone?"
"My friends are busy, but if you miss them, they're on their way," she replied him coldly. "But if you want to save us the trouble, you can give me the necklace back. Now."
He chuckled. "Raven, Raven," he said, entertained by the way she threatened him. "Are you really expecting me to give back the necklace just because you patronize me like that? If that's the only thing that it takes to make me do so, I wouldn't be a thief."
She moved her lips, was about to mutter the right spell, but he was hastier, pulling out the tape and throwing it on her. He was great in calculating how she would evade the tape, and as she tried to fly aside, thinking the tape would go straight to her mouth at her previous standing place, the tape went right to her mouth, gluing her lips. He knew she would automatically go to the left—being with her for a year did teach him something, if not many things, about her. She was getting angry, moving her hands toward her mouth to remove the tape, but he anticipated that by throwing another tape, the bigger one, to wrap her whole body. She lost her balance, and he directly dashed toward her, catching her before she hit the ground.
Now she was on his arms.
Shit, a voice in his head cursed. He didn't know why he did that—touching Raven was fatal, the most fatal mistake he could ever make.
Now he didn't think he was capable of letting her go.
"I didn't know you could be this weak, Raven. I expected something more from you, and you've turned me down. What a disappointment," he smirked within his mask, being defiant against the feeling that started taking over his logic. If he succumbed to his feeling, he would have brought her away, teleporting to his place which he had never showed her before. He would capture her for a moment, watching her being that near to him, just to ease his broken heart. But he couldn't—his pride as this thief was more precious than his feeling. "Anyway, happy struggling with the tape. Let's hope your friend will be able to find you here."
Those amethyst orbs glared at him again as she produced muffled sound, angry. God, how he wanted to kiss those lips that moved beneath that red tape.
Self-control. Self-control. He repeated that thought over and over again in his head.
Red-X set her down on the ground, very carefully and insincerely as if wanting to feel every second of it, that she lied flat on her back. She still struggled violently, like a worm in a cocoon, wanting to break free and become a butterfly. He recorded that into his memory even when he knew it was impossible to forget that pinpricking pain in his chest.
He quietly sighed as he realized he couldn't just stay there and watch her. He had to go.
He chuckled then, full of mockery, before teleporting himself back to his place with the necklace in his pocket.
He was winning tonight. But no, the victory didn't make him feel satisfaction like how he should feel.
He entered his room through the balcony door. His room was dark and cold, everything was at its place since his servants cleaned and tidied his room up every morning. He sighed again, turning on the bright yellow lamps.
He threw himself across his bed, moaning a little since an invisible knife had stabbed his heart due to the fresh memory of Raven. He cursed himself inwardly—he didn't want to be such a melancholic guy by thinking that she was the one and that he would never be able to get her out of his mind, but what else could he convince himself with, when the reality pointed out that it was the truth?
He loved her. He loved her so much.
And it wasn't like he could go out and find another Raven. She was irreplaceable.
Anger grew within him—he was a strong thief and nothing could beat him. What would the world say if the thief was broken just because of a girl? Especially when the girl was Raven, a titan. The world would laugh its ass off. Silly him, he shouldn't have let her seize his heart fully. But it wasn't like he got the power to save even the smallest bit of his heart from Raven.
That girl was too adorable. He couldn't help but to love her with all that he had.
All that he had but his pride. His ego. His selfishness.
Now that he'd chosen his ego over her, he had to forget her. He had to. He promised himself that he would, sooner or later, erase Raven from his mind. Time would hopefully heal.
His eyes flickered to the clock which was hanging on the white wall. It was still 1 AM. Normally, he'd reach home at 2 or 3, when it was too late to do anything. But the titans didn't give him any worthy fight.
He guessed that they were busy catching some bank burglars who'd recently caused some troubles. And what they did was sending the person he wanted to meet the least and it worsened the pain in him—those titans were sometimes being genius without even realizing it. Beating Raven in a fight was the easiest since he knew her weaknesses and that made his work that night a fast one—yet the pain that caused by the meeting lingered.
He unmasked himself, revealing the pale skin, messy brown hair, and a pair of fierce light blue eyes. He resembled his father, Drake Voltair the businessman, but he had his mother's hair instead of the neat blonde hair. That face usually had a naughty smirk attached—the smirk that was simply irresistible for the girls around him. But that night that face was an expressionless one, the one which tried hard to send the pain down below.
I have to move on, he reassured himself. He threw his mask onto the bed and took the proof of his victory out of his pouch, adoring its every gleaming surface before pushing it back into the pocket. He left his bed and walked toward his closet, pulling out his favorite t-shirt, a jacket, and a pair of faded black jeans.
He changed his clothes and hid all of his costume attributes in the secret wardrobe behind the closet wall.
He then grabbed his cell phones, wallet, and car key from his table and walked, heading toward his door. It was when he was stopped by the mirror—he checked his appearance and realized he looked gloomier than he'd expected. He tried to curl his lips into a smile that he usually pull to trap those naïve girls in the bars or city center. It wasn't as easy for him, apparently, since he hadn't formed that kind of smile for a while—he'd never used it to flirt on girls anymore since the day he decided to stop cheating on Raven, and it was already three months since that day. He tried several times until he found the right way to do it and he ensured himself one more time that he didn't let the sign of his heartache look as palpable as before.
Sunshine, you cannot have my heart forever. You won't ruin me, he thought as he watched his reflection staring back at him on the sleek surface of the mirror.
He walked out of the room after that, walking down the empty hallways of his massive house. His destination was clear; it was the place he used to go when he needed some kind of entertainment, out of his job as a thief. He wanted real entertainment, not some more booze. He needed entertainment that could surely please him—girls. Or hot girls, to be exact.
Thanks for reading! :D
By the way, the song's lyrics really have the "sunshine" part. One of the reasons why I chose to write Red-X and Raven on this song.
And I'm sorry for Fear readers, there's writer's block and assignments impeding my creativity right now. So instead, I'm finishing this shorter fic first. Unlike Fear, it has the whole story written already, so the only thing I need to do is editing and changing things a bit. But I promise I will finish Fear ;)