"Why are you still standing out here? I thought you were going to hide in the RV today?" Provenza asked Andy as he walked up to him in the dirt parking area and looked around at the surroundings. Andy was standing outside the RV, his small bag at his side, sunglasses on, and he frowned as he looked at Provenza.
"I am trying to hide in the RV. I can't get inside it at the moment! Clay is still in there working on that bathroom window. I need to get in there and into some corner before Radyor gets out here. Last thing I want to do is chit chat after last night. I can't believe I was such an idiot," he groaned.
"Oh, I can," Provenza gestured at him with a finger in the air. "You just can't even keep to yourself. You had to have THAT," he enunciated and shuddered. "I will never understand that at all. Now, even when I have to deal with her, I will think of you and your stupid mistake. Idiot," he grumbled.
"What could be taking Clay so long? We taped up that window the other day, and it's been holding. It's not going to fix itself right now. I need to get out of sight," Andy said and looked around the place. No one else was visible. He shook his head, irritated at the current situation. This trip was a nightmare, and all he wanted to do was get back to L.A. now. Chief and Fritz had gone to grab some food. She'd been complaining about running out of candy bars and other snacks, and Brenda had made it known to everyone that her mother didn't like her junk food addiction. Wille Rae and their suspect were inside the RV where she had cooked him eggs and bacon. Andy had tried to sit in there to wait it out, but Clay had told him to wait outside so he had room to move around in the RV.
"Just where do you think you are going to hide today? That RV is big, but not big enough to hide from her. Don't even think we are going to let you two cozy it up back there in the bedroom," he smirked at Andy.
"Are you insane?" Andy turned to him, now irritated. He started to gesture with his hands, "Once was dumb enough. I'm not going after Raydor while we are all stuck in an RV across the country. I just want to curl up in a corner and pretend I'm sleeping all day. The less I have to see her, the better."
"Huh, little formal to be still calling her Raydor, isn't it?" Provenza looked at him.
"That's her name! I call you Provenza. I don't see a problem," Andy continued to gesture.
"Well, let me remind you that you and I are FRIENDS, only friends. You aren't even that with her, but with what you did, I'd say you should be on a first name basis. I mean, did you talk to her at all? What did you call her?" You know she has a name," Provenza tried not to chuckle.
"Of course, I know she has a name!" Andy exclaimed. "I'm not going to start calling her Sharon because we," he gestured wildly before continuing, "you know, that. I'm perfectly fine forgetting it ever happened and getting this awful trip over now. It's almost Christmas, and I need to be back in L.A., really anywhere else other than stuck around Raydor after that."
"Was she that bad?" Provenza grimaced and then his eyes got wide. "Were you that bad?"
"Provenza! Can we drop it? Now, I can't believe I told you. Why did I have to just let things happen? Slept with Radyor," Andy sighed and dropped his head.
"That is the question of the day, Flynn," Provenza pointed his finger at him again. "Why did you? So, she kissed you, and you decided to go for it? You're that desperate she was the best thing around here. Work will never be the same."
"It was just in the moment. I can't explain. I don't know what I was thinking, and obviously, I wasn't. Oh, she's coming," Andy turned away, trying to look casual as he did so, but it was clear that he didn't want to talk to her. Provenza looked toward Sharon. She was walking across the parking lot, her bag still by the door. As she was walking toward them, Brenda and Fritz walked around the corner.
"Why are y'all standing out here?" she gestured at them. "Let's get a move on today. The sooner we get going, the sooner we can get back home. I need to get out of this RV."
"You and me both, Chief," Andy nodded and sighed. "Just exactly when are we going to get to L.A.?" he asked, trying to avoid eye contact with Sharon who had now joined the group. The door to the RV opened, and Clay started down the stairs.
Clay cleared his throat to address the group, "We should be in L.A. in another couple days, Lieutenant Flynn. By my calculations, we can get to El Paso tonight. It's a haul across this big state of Texas, and with gas stops, it's going to take us all day to get to El Paso."
"All day?" Provenza asked. "We're going to still be in the same state tonight? That's almost depressing," he sighed and let out a low chuckle as he turned to Andy where he rolled his eyes.
"All day," Clay nodded. "Now, tomorrow, we will make some progress. We should get to the other side of Phoenix that day. Desert driving most of the way for us, so get ready. That will make Wille Rae happy. She has a cousin who lives in Lake Havasu who wants to meet us for dinner that night in Quartzsite. Plus, I've heard stories about the great RV campground there, and we can check it out."
"Oh, Daddy, at that point, we aren't that far from L.A., so wouldn't it be better to just get us home? We have a suspect with us and all," Brenda sighed.
"Now, Brenda, you and I both know this trip is only happening because you made us change our Christmas plans. I know you aren't suggesting we not see your momma's relatives because you want to get back to L.A. for work. You told me that you didn't have to be in L.A. by any certain day or time. Your suspect is fine and will enjoy a nice dinner with us before he's thrown in jail. I know you won't complain about the drive or how long it's taking. We'll stop in El Paso tonight, Quartzite tomorrow night, and then we'll drive into L.A. after that. That way, we also won't hit rush hour traffic," Clay explained. "We'll still make it to L.A. before Christmas Day, and you can get your work done while we park the RV in front of your house. Then, we can spend Christmas together and send your colleagues here home to their families to save what little is left of the holiday."
"No offense, Clay," Provenza shook his head, "but there's no such thing as light traffic in L.A. as far as I'm concerned. It always feels like rush hour traffic, and with this plan, we'll be getting in on Christmas Eve anyway. At that point, at least to me, it doesn't really matter when we get back. We have work to do whatever day it is, even if it's Christmas."
"Still, we are going to enjoy our drive since we have to drive," he looked to everyone. "The RV can only go so fast, and Brenda, remember, this is your mess. Now, we are ready to go. Everyone ready? Captain Raydor, adding you makes things a little tight," Clay turned to address her. "The RV is filling up quickly."
"Oh, I won't be riding in the RV," Sharon spoke up, and the group turned toward her.
"Thank goodness," Brenda flashed a grin and continued, "Pope already wants you back in L.A., I suppose? You heading to the airport this morning after you saw with your own eyes that everything here is okay?"
"Nothing like that," Sharon smiled. "I'll just be following the RV with that car I rented. That's what Chief Pope asked me to do. The suspect stays in your possession, but I'll be following along for the duration of the trip. I'm not here to impose, but I'm here as more of an escort to L.A., per Chief Pope's request."
"Are you kidding me?" Provenza turned to Sharon. "Captain, not to be questioning your authority or that of His Holiness, but you are here to just follow along? It's like a cross country vacation adventure for you."
"Rest assured, Lieutenant," she said crisply, "it is not a vacation. Trust me. I would much rather be home for Christmas to spend the trip with my family." Sharon turned her eyes from Provenza and surveyed most of the group. She briefly looked to Andy, but he'd put on his sunglasses and was making sure not to look her way. Provenza called her back to the conversation.
"Captain, did His Holiness give you any additional instructions for this drive?" he asked.
"Lieutenant," Brenda interrupted and smiled at him, "I'm sure if Captain Raydor is going to be tagging along with us, we could spare one body in the RV to ride with her, and maybe you could ask your questions there. I'm here to do my job, not worry about hers. Since you are so interested in her transportation, I'll let you decide if that is going to be you or Lieutenant Flynn first. Everyone else, let's load up and get on the road."
"I'll ride with the captain," Provenza raised his hand, knowing it was the last thing he wanted to do, but trying to spare Andy. At the same moment, Sharon spoke too.
"Lieutenant Flynn can ride with me first. I'd rather not spend the first couple hours of the drive today arguing more with Lieutenant Provenza about this work trip," Sharon explained.
"Me?" Andy piped in, looking around and pointing at himself. "I didn't sleep well. I was going to stretch out in the RV. Provenza volunteered."
"Hmm, you can sleep just fine in the car, and it should be nice and quiet," Sharon said.
Andy threw a glance toward Provenza, and even with the sunglasses, Provenza caught on and tried to speak.
"Chief?" he asked.
"Oh, this is getting out of hand. I don't want to deal with arguing. Honestly, it's like you are children in a fight. Andy, ride with the captain. Lieutenant, get inside and start working on your crossword," Brenda gestured.
"I've made hard boiled eggs that I turned into egg salad for lunch!" Willie Rae said happily to the group. "Oh, this is going to be a good day. We won't even have to stop for lunch."
Andy frowned at Provenza and shook his head. He looked toward Sharon, the first he'd done so for the day, "I'm sleeping, and we are stopping for lunch, even if you have to catch up to them later. I'm not eating egg salad sandwiches," he told her as he walked by her. She just nodded and turned to follow him.
Provenza stood there, waiting for the group to get inside the RV as he looked back at Andy with the Sharon following behind him. The two walked toward her rental car, and he just shook his head while he mumbled, "Idiots."
It was going to be a long day, and at this point, Provenza wasn't sure who had the better situation. Andy was stuck riding in the car with the captain, but he was stuck in the RV with everyone else and egg salad sandwiches for lunch.