Scattered Napkin
Kagura was gone by the morning.
Momiji heard it from Rin, who told him that she hadn't said where she was going, only that she would be back in a few weeks. Momiji suspected that she'd bought a random ticket with little regard to her destination. He hoped she ended up somewhere nice.
He had started planning his trip to Germany well before the party, so he had long boarded his flight by the time Kagura returned from her sabbatical. He endured another party the day before he left, this time in his honor. Tohru organized it.
"I can't believe you're leaving," she told him. Her lips were turned up into a smile, but her eyes were sad. Momiji felt some guilty satisfaction. "But I'm also so excited for you! What are you going to see?"
"Everything I can," he answered. "You should come with me, Tohru. We'd have a good time."
Tohru laughed. "You're leaving tomorrow!"
"Better pack your bags, then," Momiji teased. He was only half kidding. If Tohru wanted to come, he would have done anything to make it happen.
"I'd like to travel one day," she said wistfully. Her eyes were full of the places she wished to go. "Maybe we'll go to Germany with you next time. Kyo, wouldn't it be fun to go to Germany?"
Momiji's teeth came down on his tongue so hard that he tasted blood. Tohru and Kyo were already we. He didn't know how many times a heart could break, but he thought his was reaching its limit.
"Maybe," Kyo said, drifting over to them. "You've got the right idea, though, Momiji. Traveling is something the Sohmas have never been able to do, might as well take advantage of it, right?"
"Right," he replied.
He was the first to leave his own party.
Thinking back on it, Momiji wishes he had stayed a little longer. Berlin has offered days of enchanting distraction, but every night he returns to his suite dreading the cold sheets next to him. He knows that if he had convinced Tohru to come with him, he could have easily fooled her into sharing his bed. Not that he would have pressured her, or taken advantage of her. But he could have been close to her every night, fallen asleep to the quiet sound of her breathing. He could have pretended, if only for a moment, that they had a chance.
The only thing better is imagining how furious it would have made Kyo.
A week in Berlin, the waitress at Momiji's favorite café writes her telephone number on a napkin and leaves it on the table. He takes the napkin home and spends a long time staring at it. Momiji had expected something like this; the Sohmas are notoriously beautiful and Momiji is no exception. Since the end of the curse, he has grown out of the boyishness that kept women at bay.
Now, he doesn't know what to do.
He came to Germany to get over Tohru, so dating German women seems like a logical step forward. Momiji doesn't know the waitress very well, so the most he would risk by going on a date is the spot at his favorite café. At least, that's what he tells himself.
Momiji falls asleep clutching the napkin in his hand. For once, he doesn't think about Tohru. He calls the waitress and asks her to dinner as soon as he wakes up.
They meet at the café and walk to a nearby restaurant. The waitress's name is Jana. Momiji learns that she's in college for architecture and is working at the café part-time until she can find an internship with a company. She has four younger brothers and two loving parents that live in a small town near the Polish border. Her dog lives with her in a small apartment close to the café that she shares with two of her best friends. Her blonde curls bounce around her face when she talks. Sometimes she brushes them away from her forehead with her hands. Her laughter is deep and rich.
Jana is talkative, but Momiji can tell it's only to fill the awkward silence he leaves in the conversation. All the words dry up in his mouth. He can't talk to her about his family or his friends without mentioning Tohru. The rest of his stories are nothing but dark and twisted Sohma sagas. In comparison to his own life, Jana is living a fairytale.
Regardless, they have a nice dinner and agree to ice cream cones on the walk to Jana's apartment. Their hands are sticky by the time they reach the entrance to her apartment complex. Momiji doesn't intend to go inside, he doesn't even intend to kiss her, but she draws him in by the collar of his shirt. She tastes like red wine and strawberry ice cream.
He pulls back when she takes a step toward the door. "Goodnight, Jana," he says gently. Jana blushes at his polite rejection, but wishes him a goodnight and watches with some regret as he walks down the street. He walks until the early hours of the morning and sleeps for the rest of the day. He doesn't go back to the café. Two days later he leaves for Leipzig, only after meeting with a family friend to arrange a position for Jana at an architectural firm.
On the train, he tears the napkin apart and scatters the unreadable pieces at his feet.