Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass. I do not make profit from writing this fanfiction.
An unrated version of this story is on my AO3 account (NeoDiji) and linked on my Tumblr (NeoDiji).
A/N: Chapter 2 is the same regardless of where it is posted.
Thank you ever so much to all those who have reviewed, favorited, followed, etc. :D
Chapter 2 is largely unchanged from its original version, for those who remember the story from several years back.
No active trigger happenings, but references to what happened in Chapter 1 (so still, beware violence and gore, sensitive situations, adult material overall). Nothing that needed to be watered-down, though.
Chapter Two – Guilt and Fear
Suzaku yawned. After the absolute chaos of the day before, the lab was extremely boring. Lloyd and Cecile were frantically dashing about making phone calls, calling in favors, ordering equipment, doing paperwork… Suzaku did all he could to help, but he was a pilot, not a researcher. He knew nothing about the development of Knightmares, and as an Eleven he had no connections he could call on for assistance. In short, he felt useless. That was why, even in a stressful environment, he was bored. The blue and gray walls of the lab space they rented at the university were enough to lull him to sleep, but the others' constant activity kept jerking his consciousness back to the matter at hand.
The Lancelot was wrecked. A small part of him was thankful he wasn't inside the machine at the time; a larger part reminded him he could have prevented this if he had been. At the thought, a sharp bout of shame flowed through his veins. He hunched over, arms wrapped protectively around his middle as if to hold himself together, and he had to blink back the burning liquid guilt that pooled in his eyes. He was to blame for everything; no wonder Lloyd wasn't speaking to him. Cecile did her best to assuage his self-doubt, but he stubbornly held onto the idea that it was entirely his fault. If only he could have been faster…better…
"Stop worrying so much, Suzaku," Cecile comforted, dropping into a seat next to him. She was often the voice of reason among the three of them, the only one capable of balancing intelligence and feelings. Acting as the link between the eccentric scientist and emotional teen pilot, she took all angles into consideration; Lloyd had no heart while Suzaku relied solely on his. The problem with Suzaku was that he could be totally irrational.
The boy didn't respond.
Cecile tilted her head at her younger coworker, mouth drawn and eyes dim as she tried to think what to say, how to explain and get through to the boy. Finally, she let her eyes slide from his slumped posture; her gaze landed on the yellow and white machine rubble on the floor one story below. The lab they rented had to have a high-vaulted ceiling in order to accommodate the Knightmare's impressive height. Acknowledging Suzaku's worries seemed like the best way to go. Her voice was light and clear when she spoke. "Yes, this is a major setback, but it's not the end of the world. The only one who got hurt was the Lancelot, and that's just a machine. That man Zero kept his word about not harming anyone."
The seventeen-year-old shrugged, a sullen "I guess so" falling from his lips. He remembered how Zero had called off one of the Black Knights who'd wanted to kill him—and how Zero himself had prevented him from rushing to his death. On top of that, the masked terrorist had even defended him with a speech, touching on his Japanese heritage and proclaiming him 'worthwhile' because of it. Did that mean the masked terrorist really did believe himself to be the ally of justice, and all the casualties he'd caused so far had been mistakes? But if such was the case, if Zero wanted to change the world for the better, he should have started with less violent means. Suzaku groaned, shaking his head. The only thing he was sure of was that Zero was a complicated individual.
The masked terrorist wasn't the only one weighing on his mind, though. "But what about Lloyd," Suzaku protested.
"Don't worry about him," Cecile said, cutting him off sharply. "He's just whining like a child because his favorite toy was crushed."
The teen frowned. "I wish there was more I could do to help."
His coworker smiled gently at him, laying a hand on his shoulder. "Suzaku, you're right. You're a pilot. Without a Knightmare, you don't have a job to do here. Why don't you go back to school for the time being? I'll come for you if we run into any problems we need your help with, all right?"
Suzaku clenched his jaw, weighing his options. If he returned to Ashford Academy, then he'd feel like he was running away from his responsibilities to the military. On the other hand, if he left the lab, then he could see all his friends on the Student Council—most importantly, Lelouch. His facial features relaxed as he imagined his lover. It was mid-afternoon by this point, so Lelouch would probably be complaining about something to Milly in the Student Council room, probably protesting some new project of hers. Was he missing Suzaku as much as Suzaku was missing him? Lelouch might act cold and distant, but he really was clingy when it came down to it. The Britannian boy had his own insecurities. No matter how he tried to hide them from the rest of the world, he always showed his vulnerable side to Suzaku. The Japanese teen loved his prince all the more for that show of trust.
Slight giggling interrupted his wandering thoughts. "What are you thinking about with that look on your face?"
Suzaku immediately snapped to attention and blushed, remembering his coworker was still sitting beside him, waiting for an answer. He'd been so lost in thought he hadn't realized his mouth had fallen open and his eyes had dropped half-mast.
"So it is a girl," the blue-haired woman chuckled knowingly at his reaction. She sounded like she'd been waiting days to tease him about it.
The seventeen-year-old furiously shook his head, willing the heat to leave his face. "No!" he protested. "I'm not…thinking about a girl." He wasn't lying, he rationalized to himself. Lelouch was anything but female.
"Whatever you say," Cecile shot back, light blue eyes twinkling. "I know a lovesick expression when I see one. So tell me, what's she like? Is she in your class?"
Suzaku wriggled uncomfortably in his seat. Sometimes Cecile could be more deadly than Lloyd when she asked those kinds of questions. Was he so obvious to read? He normally did come across honest, but he didn't think his inner thoughts could be dissected through a single look. Then again, this was Cecile, and she was good at reading him. Lelouch would be ashamed of him for not controlling his expressions. "Uh…" he stammered, stalling for time.
"Or maybe," Cecile continued thoughtfully, rubbing her chin, "it's a certain Third Princess of the Empire?" She laughed lightly. "Remember that time at Narita—"
Spluttering, Suzaku waved his hands. "NO! Euphy's just a friend. A very close friend, mind you, but not…I mean, we're not dating or anything."
The blue-haired woman laughed again. "'Euphy'?"
"She insists I call her that because we're friends," Suzaku explained, emphasizing their platonic relationship. "Maybe things would be different if Le—if I wasn't already seeing someone," he finished lamely, clapping a hand over his mouth in embarrassment. He hadn't meant to let that slip.
"Oh?" His coworker inquired deviously, latching on to the fact that Suzaku was dating somebody after all. "And just who might that be?"
Suzaku clenched his jaw, not willing to spill anything more than he had already. He looked pointedly away, his eyes automatically falling on the wrecked Knightmare frame—another example of failure.
"Answer Miss Cecile's question. It's rude not to," Lloyd called over to them, speaking to Suzaku for the first time that day. He never looked up from his data and theories. He was working at a high-tech computer on a raised platform; stray papers littered the ground around him, some threatening to fall onto the base level floor.
The teen swallowed audibly as he thought things over. Miss Cecile was always respectful of his private life, and she normally didn't nose into his business. Whenever she asked questions, it was simply out of concern for him. She always did have his best interests at heart, and Suzaku knew she was probably just curious about his social life. Also, he really had to rectify her misinterpretation of that Narita incident with Euphy. Coming to a decision, the boy sighed, "Ah…well, like I said, there is no girl."
Cecile frowned, about to admonish him for lying, but Lloyd didn't miss a beat and yelled out, "Boy, then. What's your boyfriend like?"
Looking to the ceiling for guidance, the brunet groaned. Was his boss that perceptive, or was he just throwing out whatever came to mind in the hopes of embarrassing him? Knowing Lloyd Asplund, it could be either—especially since Lloyd still seemed to be angry at him for his recent screw-up.
"Is that true, Suzaku?" Cecile asked, trying to get over the initial shock. "It's all right if it is. We're not judgmental here." Wide blue eyes stared at the teen, but there was a wealth of warmth mixed in with the surprise.
The green-eyed youth—still not looking at them—slowly nodded. "Yeah. I…well…he's…how do I explain him? He's a bit complicated to—but I really like him. No, I'm fairly sure it's more than that. Ah, he's…um…" His old blush returned, and he awkwardly rubbed the back of his head. Being with Lelouch was so easy (sometimes), but talking about him proved to be hard.
Cecile giggled again, covering her hand with her mouth. "I'm sorry," she apologized, still chuckling. "It's just rare you're so flustered and happy. I'm glad to see you acting like a normal teenager. Have you told him how you feel?"
Lloyd suddenly popped up out of nowhere to lean over the teen, trying to intimidate him. "Have you done the naughty with him?" The wicked smirk on his face made the Japanese boy very uneasy.
The young pilot instinctively shrank back from the looming face of his boss. The mad scientist was far too close, was invading his personal space, and those cool blue eyes boring into his own put him on edge. How did he get off his raised platform so quickly? Lloyd's knowing leer stretched all the way across his face, making his entire visage appear misshapen and out of proportion. It was hard to tell what was going on in Lloyd Asplund's mind sometimes, but Suzaku was sure he didn't want to touch this issue regardless.
Cecile smiled widely and grabbed Lloyd by the ear. "Please, Suzaku, disregard any too-personal question Lloyd asks. He still doesn't understand that it's improper to nose into people's business like that. Whatever you do with this boy is your own business, and it has nothing to do with us here at work." Tuning out the scientist's yelps of pain, the blue-haired researcher dragged him away, presumably to continue lecturing him in private.
Suzaku watched them leave before letting out all his frustration and embarrassment in a sigh. He'd never actually planned on telling Cecile and Lloyd about his relationship. Lelouch was the one who'd suggested they keep everything quiet, just on the off-chance something could go wrong. He grinned to himself, noticing he was once again alone. Would Lelouch be home by now, perhaps lying on that sinfully wonderful bed of his?
It was decided. He was going to Ashford Academy.
Just as he was about to leave, the phone rang.
Only half the Student Council members were present at the customary meeting time. Afternoon sunshine slanted through the windows, falling upon the piles of untouched paperwork lying on the center table. One corner of the room was set up for its permanent resident with scratching posts and cat tree furniture, food and water bowls, and a litter box; Arthur himself dozed on a carpeted platform, his black tail neatly tucked around his body as his light purr sounded through the room. Open cardboard boxes lay strewn across the floor, half-packed with costumes for the next cosplay event; the lacy women's undergarments hanging out would surely have made Lelouch shudder had he been present to see them.
Shirley sighed and let her head drop on the table. She was still reeling from the fact that her precious Lelou had it bad for another guy—for Suzaku of all people! Of course Lelouch would always be her friend, but right now she didn't know how to face him. She wondered how often he'd laughed at her behind her back, pitying her poor attempts at flirtation. But no, Lelouch wasn't that kind of person. She'd watched him enough over the years to know that much, at least. She sniffled, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. How long was she expected to cry over him?
"Awww, stop being so melodramatic!" Milly waltzed over and thumped her on the back. She stared at her friend's downcast expression before her tone softened in understanding. "I know you're upset, but being sad over Lelouch isn't going to change things. And we all know Suzaku will take good care of him." She stood confidently, hip cocked to one side, and lifted her head high. She was the only perky person in the Student Council room. She could empathize with Shirley's pain—more so than anyone realized—but she didn't want to start off the meeting on a sad note.
Nina was hunched over on her computer, as always, not bothering to check in with the rest of the world. Especially when that Eleven was invading the school. No matter that he wasn't physically present at the moment; the mere threat of him was enough to make her turn away. Her purple eyes stayed glued to the computer screen, long fingers flying over the keys as she worked on something nobody else bothered to understand.
Rivalz plopped down next to Shirley, shaking his head. "Man, I can't believe I didn't notice! Lelouch is my best friend. How could I not have seen the connection between him and Suzaku?" Mimicking the orange-haired girl, he laid his head on the table. After a long moment of silence, he raised his head and asked, "…Hey, does this make me the only straight guy on the Student Council?" He looked hopefully at Milly, wanting to remind her just how heterosexual he still remained.
Milly didn't take the hint; rather, she blatantly ignored it, as usual. "Can you believe the gossip today? The whole school is buzzing! It's understandable, of course. Lelouch is a popular boy, after all, and this whole affair is pretty scandalous."
"It is kind of shocking that he'd choose Suzaku," Rivalz input, scratching his head. Though disappointed that the object of his affections hadn't risen to the bait, he was always interested in hearing her speak.
The blonde president shrugged flippantly. "Oh, I dunno. Not when you look back on how they treated each other. I always knew there was something special between them; though, I must say, I never expected anything quite like this." She turned to the orange-haired girl, a devilish smirk gracing her face, winked, and roguishly asked, "Hey Shirley, want to imagine the finer details?" Milly was rewarded with her friend's usual spark.
Olive green eyes widened, and Shirley blushed before snapping, "No thank you, Madame President; I've seen and heard just about enough of this! The only one I want an explanation from is Lelou himself!"
Milly chuckled, glad to see Shirley was beginning to act like her old self. "Don't we all?" She chanced a look around, noticing that half the Council was absent yet again. "Kallen must be feeling sick today, and Suzaku must be holed up at work." Snapping her fingers, she exclaimed, "Did you guys hear about the attack yesterday? The Black Knights broke into the university across the street! It hasn't made the news yet, but it will soon, I'm sure."
Rivalz tilted his head at her. "How do you know about it then?"
The blonde laughed, head thrown back and eyes shut in exaggerated merriment. "Oh, Rivalz. You know I know everything!" She slid into a seat on the other side of her wayward admirer, clear blue eyes softening as she tried to compose herself to explain. "Well, actually, my parents had set me up for another blind date." It could have been disastrous, revealing this information in front of Rivalz, but for once he was calm at the mention—or possibly just too in shock to speak. Milly continued, "This time, it was scheduled with a well-respected scientist who works on top-secret projects for the military. He's currently doing his work over at the university, and he had to call and cancel his appointment with me because of the damage the terrorists did. He's completely booked now, trying to salvage his project. It's fine with me if he wants to postpone our meeting! It just means I have my freedom for a little while longer."
The blue-haired boy was torn between crying (at the idea of Milly having another "blind date") and laughing (that it was canceled).
"I thought it was a blind date?" Shirley subtly asked. Her eyes focused with new determination, having gained a new perspective on things: Lelouch may not ever feel for her the way she wished, but she at least still had the freedom to choose her own love. Milly was being forced to marry someone of high rank just for her family's status; the blonde definitely had a worse situation.
Milly shrugged. "Well, my parents had to explain to me why he suddenly backed out. It seems he likes to ramble on about his work. Something about 'Lancelot.'"
"'Lancelot'?" Shirley asked, raising an eyebrow.
Milly shook her head, an amused smile gracing her lips. "Don't ask me. Anyway, let's talk about something more cheerful! Do any of you know where Lelouch is? He's the only one not accounted for. I know he likes to skip, but…"
Shirley blanched. "No, he was definitely planning on coming. He was the one who suggested he explain everything to us during the Council meeting."
"That's weird," the blonde murmured thoughtfully. "Lelouch always keeps his word in the end. Do you think he got held up in the hallway?" She started dividing the paperwork on the table, giving Shirley and Rivalz equally sized stacks. Even if Lelouch wasn't present yet to explain things, there was Council business to attend to in the meantime.
Rivalz shook his head. "Based on how everyone treated him today? I wouldn't think so. People are avoiding him like the plague. I think they believe they'll 'catch the Eleven' if they get too close, like it's some kind of contagious disease." He took his share of the paperwork with a groan, but dutifully grabbed a pencil to start outlining club budgets.
The president whipped out her cell phone. "The only way we'll find out what's going on is if we call him." She dialed Lelouch's number, frowning as it became apparent he wasn't going to answer. "Nothing," she informed the others after a few moments.
Shirley gasped at a sudden thought. "Lelou could be tied up somewhere!"
Milly shook her head, giggling a little at her friend. "Listen to that imagination! I'm sure he's on his way here."
Rivalz looked up from his work. "Or maybe he just went home for a little peace and quiet. You know the first thing he'd do in a situation like this would be to—"
"—run to Nunnally!" Milly and Shirley chimed in unison.
"Er, right," the blue-haired boy said slowly, a bit freaked out at how both the girls finished his sentence together.
Milly nodded, as if everything was clear and decided. "I'm sure that's what happened. Lelouch needs a little time to himself before he can face everyone, so let's give him a couple days. We'll be sure to let him know that we're here waiting for him in the Student Council Room—for whenever he's ready."
Shirley nodded glumly. "Yeah, but he promised…"
"What else was the guy gonna say?" Rivalz interjected. "He was totally put on the spot."
The orange-haired girl flinched. "I didn't mean to. I just…needed to know…"
Milly reached around Rivalz to squeeze Shirley's hand. "It's all right. No one's blaming you for asking questions. I wasn't there, but I know Lelouch. I'm sure he's just embarrassed; I don't think he'd be mad at you or anything. Not over something like this."
Shirley brightened a bit. "You're right. Thanks, Pres!" Lifting her head, she attacked her own pile of paperwork with renewed enthusiasm. "I just have to be patient. Lelou needs to relax, and he doesn't need me bothering him right now! Oh, I hope he's getting a good rest."
"I'm sure he is," Rivalz assured her. "He didn't sleep through class like he normally does, so I'm guessing he'd be pretty tired. Honestly, I don't blame the guy for wanting some alone time."
The blonde chuckled. "None of us do. Okay, so we'll hold off on worrying about the whole Lelouch situation for now and give him space. As soon as he's ready, we'll be here to listen. Agreed?"
"Agreed," Rivalz and Shirley answered firmly. With that settled, they worked on Council business for another hour or so. Since half the members were absent, there was a lot of paperwork to keep the present members busy.
Eventually, Shirley lifted her head. "Hey, Madame President?" she asked softly. "Are you going to do anything to the Culture Club for spreading this rumor around?"
"It's hardly a 'rumor,'" Milly pointed out matter-of-factly. "And of course! I can't let them get away with defiling our darling Lelou's precious image, can I? It's just a question of what's within my influence…"
"Let's not give them any funds!" Rivalz suggested. "Then we can give up on this paperwork!"
Shirley glared at the lazy boy. "Aren't you worried about Lelou?"
Shifting uncomfortably under that heated look, Rivalz managed, "Yeah, of course! But I'm sure he's fine. I don't think anyone would do anything to him—no one's approached him all day, remember? Lelouch is the 'diseased Eleven-lover.'"
Milly sighed and looked out the window. "Ashford Academy is supposed to be accepting of Elevens. Suzaku has proven himself to be a good person, hasn't he? Everyone here should have begun to see that the stereotypes don't apply. Besides, Lelouch himself is Britannian…"
Nina huddled into herself on the other side of the room, finally deeming it necessary to contribute to the conversation. Struggling to voice her opinion, she said, "That's what makes it so much worse, though. The Elevens can't help being born what they are, but Lelouch actively chose to date one." Her fingers slowed on her keyboard, but she continued to type, needing something solid to occupy her mind.
Shirley, Rivalz, and Milly all stared at her, speechless for a moment or two. Then, having regained the ability to speak, the orange-haired girl shrieked, "You don't still think Elevens are bad?!"
Shaking, Nina offered a half-hearted shrug. She hated speaking anyway, but going against the majority just made it that much harder. Especially when the majority consisted of her closest friends. Luckily for her, the unpleasant conversation was interrupted by a frantic knock on the door.
"Lelouch! Milly! Shirley! Is anyone in there?"
The members of the Student Council all raised their heads at the inquiry. Nunnally Lamperouge had never sounded so upset.
"Yes, Nunnally. We're here!" Milly called back, standing to greet the newcomers. Then, she amended under her breath, "Well, your brother isn't…"
The door opened with a bang, and Sayoko dipped her head, a worried expression clouding her face. "We can't find Master Lelouch anywhere, and he's not answering his cell phone. He's definitely nowhere in the residence, so we figured he might be here with you. I don't see him, though. Do any of you have an idea of where he might have gone?"
The wheelchair-bound girl shivered. "I've just got this real bad feeling…I need to talk to my brother…"
Shirley and Rivalz glanced at each other before speaking. "He was definitely in last period. We thought he would come to the Council meeting, but he didn't. We figured he was just too ashamed to come because of…you know…" Neither of them wanted to voice words about the Suzaku-and-Lelouch picture incident, not when it was unknown as to whether innocent little Nunnally actually understood everything.
The nursemaid pursed her lips, signifying she caught their meaning. "I know it's very possible Master Lelouch was simply upset and needed some time alone—that's what we'd decided earlier—but it has been a couple hours since anyone has seen him. Considering how most people at this school think about Elevens, Lady Nunnally is right to be concerned about his whereabouts."
"Right, we'll find Lelouch!" Milly shouted, giving everyone a thumbs up. If Nunnally was worried, that overruled the previous plan to give Lelouch distance. Milly knew Lelouch would have agreed, too; he'd never want to upset his little sister. The blonde's genuine enthusiasm caused the young princess to let her shoulders drop in momentary relief. "Lelouch knows there isn't anywhere in this school where he can hide from me," Milly cackled, hand on her hip. Shirley and Rivalz dropped the documents they had been working on, and even Nina abandoned her computer to join in the search. Only Arthur shrugged off the concern, flicking his ears at the rowdy group of students.
Nunnally held her hand out, seeking contact from her Japanese nurse. "Someone should call Suzaku. I know it's silly, but just in case something is wrong…"
"It's a good idea anyway," Sayoko reassured her, moving to squeeze her charge's hand. "Suzaku knows Master Lelouch very well. Perhaps he might have some clues as to where your brother might be hiding." She grabbed her cell phone, then glided over to Nina's abandoned computer. "Suzaku doesn't answer his phone when he's on duty, right? We'll need to contact him through his work. Do you remember what department he was part of, Lady Nunnally?" Her voice was strict and business-like, to the point, but still gentle and comforting to her disabled ward.
The young blind girl took a moment to think, crinkling her forehead in concentration. "He mentioned the Engineering Corp," she finally answered. "Something sounded off in his voice when he said it, but that's the only branch he's ever mentioned by name."
Sayoko took a few seconds to locate the military base's contact information online. It was a potential emergency, knowing Lelouch. That boy had a penchant for getting into trouble. Sayoko knew Nunnally was scared—scared that the day had finally come when Lelouch's skills failed to save him.
"Yes, this is the Advanced Special Envoy Engineering Corp," Cecile confirmed, shuffling some papers as she listened to the woman on the phone. The person on the other line wasn't anyone concerned with the budget, data, equipment, or anything related to the Lancelot's destruction. In fact, she didn't seem to be interested in military operations at all. "…You wish to speak with Suzaku?" The blue-haired woman looked surprised as she listened to the other's hurried explanation before a worried look overtook her features. "Oh, oh I see! Well, Suzaku was just about to head over there anyway. Here, let me get him for you real quick." Putting a hand over the mouthpiece, Cecile called for the Eleven pilot, ignoring Lloyd's quizzical stare.
Suzaku bounded over, already dressed in his school uniform. He tilted his head at his coworker, clearly confused when she held out the phone to him. Nobody had ever contacted him at work before. "He-hello?" he asked. He listened for a moment, green eyes widening. His fingers clutched the phone tighter. "Sayoko! What are you…why are you calling me? Did something happen to Nunnally?!" His face paled at her next words, but then he shook his head a bit to clear his mind. "Well, that's not unusual. Lelouch disappears a lot; you know that. Why would this time mean anything serious?" There was a long, ominous silence. "…Sayoko? Okay, fine, explain it to me when I get over there. In the meantime, are you sure he didn't sneak out to gamble? I know it's a bad habit, but he does that a lot, too—oh, Rivalz is still there? Yeah. Um. Check the roof, the kitchens…" Suzaku rambled off a list of places, racking his brain for any ideas of where Lelouch may have ended up. Finally, he hung up the phone and turned to the others, a worried glint gracing his eyes. "Something must have happened today. She was hiding something from me."
Cecile laid a hand on his shoulder, offering support. "Do you want us to go with you? If there are problems…" Her face was taut with concern, eyebrows drawn together in worry.
The Japanese teen shook his head. "No, it's all right. You have enough to do here. Besides, my friends might just be overreacting." Despite his words, his hands were shaking; Sayoko's fear and uneasiness were contagious. What would he do if something had happened to Lelouch?
Lloyd stood up from the computer he was working at. "Well, we can't do anything more until our royal patronage arrives to oversee our work."
His assistant gasped. "You mean the emperor is taking a personal interest in our projects?!"
Chortling, the scientist shook his head. "No, not the emperor. I meant Second Prince Schneizel. He is the head of our branch, is he not? He was going to come to Area 11 sometime soon anyway to see the Lancelot in action; yesterday's attack just made him speed up his time schedule. Too bad he won't get to see my precious Lancelot operational." He clucked his tongue in disappointment and added, "He also wants to meet you, Suzaku. Your piloting skills are famous throughout the entire Britannian Army, and I think he's heard some good things about you from the Third Princess." Lloyd waggled his eyebrows suggestively in the brunet's direction, but Suzaku studiously ignored him.
Cecile smiled in the youth's direction. "That's wonderful, Suzaku! You're being recognized for your abilities. And if the Second Prince wants to direct recovery operations, we have to wait for him before continuing our work. Say, Lloyd, when is Prince Schneizel getting here?"
"The earliest he can come is tomorrow. Did you hear they completed a float system…?"
"Don't you need to get things ready for his arrival?" Suzaku interrupted, glancing around the lab. The place was a mess still. As he looked, some nameless soldiers carried in replacement Knightmare parts, making the lab that much more cluttered. They dropped the mechanical machine limbs on the floor, making a resounding clang echo through the lab. The body of the Knightmare would be easy to replace; it would be harder to gather enough sakuradite to power another system like the Lancelot.
Cecile followed his gaze and smiled weakly. "You're right, Suzaku, we do still need to finish some minor things in preparation. But still, please feel free to call us if there's anything we can do to help."
The offer lay heavy in the air between them before Suzaku nodded, his face a firm mask of determination. It wouldn't come to that; there should be nothing amiss at school to warrant such aid.
Suzaku burst through the door of the Clubhouse Hall, barely pausing to catch his breath before making his way to the Student Council room. Campus seemed normal, if a bit tense. Other students kept throwing alarmed looks his way, but he supposed he understood: He must have looked like a madman running through the halls. He knew Sayoko was keeping something from him over the phone, and the fact that she was worried about Lelouch made him anxious. There was something not quite right about this whole situation, and his imagination was not helping matters. Lelouch was probably fine. After all, what could possibly have happened to him in Ashford Academy?
Sayoko looked up at the sound of thudding footsteps. She waited only a moment to confirm who it was before speaking up. "Lady Nunnally," the trained professional said, lightly touching the blind girl's hand. "Suzaku is here."
Nunnally breathed a sigh of relief, turning her unseeing face towards the doorway. "Oh, Suzaku, thank goodness! I know I'm being silly and irrational, but…well…I heard some students in my class making harsh remarks about my brother, and now he's nowhere to be found. The others say the rumors were even worse in the high school section, so I just can't imagine what my brother went through all day. I'm really worried about him." She motored a few feet forward and reached out with her free hand, searching for contact from her childhood friend. Sayoko dutifully followed her charge forward, careful to maintain physical touch. Nunnally needed comfort.
The Japanese narrowed his eyes during the young girl's explanation. "I don't understand. What happened today? Why would anything bad happen to Lelouch?" Suzaku determinedly grabbed hold of Nunnally's grasping fingers, letting her feel his confusion.
Before Nunnally or Sayoko could answer, the intercom buzzed and Milly's voice echoed through the school, bright and cheerful. "Attention all students, teachers, and faculty! This is your Student Council President, Milly Ashford, speaking! We seem to be missing a certain vice president of ours. If anyone catches sight of Lelouch Lamperouge, please escort him to the Clubhouse Hall immediately! You are allowed to use force if necessary. I repeat, please find Lelouch Lamperouge and bring him to me!" she ordered, then giggled. "No prize kiss this time, folks. We all know by now that our esteemed vice president only has eyes for one certain Eleven, so please bear that in mind when dragging Lelouch over here," she reminded, the echoing sing-song in her voice apparent. She didn't mention Suzaku by name, but the damage was done; everyone knew there was only one Eleven who attended Ashford Academy.
Suzaku's face burned. It was bad enough Milly discovered his and Lelouch's secret relationship, but did she have to broadcast word of it over the school airwaves?! And just how did Milly find out in the first place? Did Lelouch let something slip? Suzaku would have understood that from anyone else, but not from Lelouch. The Britannian prince was just too mindful of things to say something accidentally.
"Well, you can see why Master Lelouch might be hiding," Sayoko replied dryly. "Nunnally and I are staying here in case he comes home on his own. Nina is checking the rooftops, kitchens, and laboratories. Rivalz is scouting the outside perimeter and lawn on his motorbike. Milly is checking the dorms and classroom buildings. And Shirley is checking the gym and swimming pool areas."
Suzaku nodded, mentally filing away the information. Briefly, the thought flew through his mind that this must be the reason why people at school kept looking at him strangely. He found he couldn't process all the details—not when he had a job to do. Not when Lelouch was still missing. "All right. I'll start with the auditorium and then help Milly since she's got the most ground to cover." He turned and was halfway out the door before he popped his head back in. "Just out of curiosity, how did word leak out?"
No one needed to be told what he was asking about. "Um," Nunnally stammered, "this picture apparently portrays the two of you…being indecent with one another." Though she couldn't gain any information from a visual piece of evidence, the young blind girl still clutched the photograph, running her fingers over its smooth, glossy surface.
With trepidation, the brunet marched over to take the picture. He gasped upon noticing the scene captured on film. There was silence for a long moment before he slowly pocketed the picture. "You don't mind if I…?"
Sayoko shook her head. "Go ahead and keep it. But you should know there are multiple copies floating around campus; holding that one picture on your person won't stop the evidence from spreading."
Nunnally nodded determinedly, her face scrunched with worry. "You need a copy more than I do. Just bring my brother back safe and sound, Suzaku!"
Emerald eyes shone warmly in the young girl's direction. "Of course, Nunnally. It's a promise." Failure was not an option. He would find Lelouch—for Nunnally's sake, as well as his own.
It was funny how most school scandals seemed to involve Lelouch. Shirley still giggled at the memory of the cat chase; that had been months ago when Suzaku first transferred into the school. The giggles stopped as the heartbroken girl remembered: they also always seemed to involve the Eleven boy. Not that she minded—terribly—but it was hard not to be bitter when she thought of how the Japanese boy had stolen her Lelou. Not that he was ever hers to begin with, but she was in the middle of working on it! She sighed, her jealousy and anger dissipating as she stepped over a puddle on the pool deck. As Milly had pointed out, Suzaku could make Lelouch happy. That was what she wanted, wasn't it? Of course she'd have preferred to be the one to make him happy, but there was just no way to compete with Suzaku when Lelouch had clearly already made his choice.
"Lelou!" she called, cupping her hands over her mouth to make her voice carry. There was no swim practice today, so the pool area was empty. The chlorine water sparkled under the late afternoon sun. "Lelou, come out! Nobody's mad at you, you know! It's all right if you love Suzaku, just don't hide from us! We're your friends! Leeeloooouuuu!" She stopped shouting, waiting to see if he, or anyone, answered her calls. Nothing. Huffing, she continued the search. With every area thoroughly combed over and no sign of her target, Shirley grew frustrated. What a jerk that boy could be! Making them all worry like this…
"Oooh, he better not have run off to gamble…" she muttered, stomping towards the gym. It was official. He was nowhere near the pool.
Suzaku, of all people, understood how the school could become a center of festering hate. Of course Lelouch would slip away from such an unpleasant environment. He would hole himself up in his own hiding place until he thought of a suitable plan to work things to his advantage. Normally he was excellent at thinking things up on the spot, but Suzaku could understand his wanting some time alone to let everything sink in. Even knowing that, the Japanese boy was uneasy. It was no secret around campus that Lelouch was not the fittest person around, and the thought of the weak Britannian boy being subject to physical torture made his stomach churn. Still, Lelouch was capable. What he lacked in strength, he made up for with intelligence. He possessed excellent skills in verbal persuasion and mind games. Surely he could get himself out of a dire situation…
Lost in thought, he was jerked back to reality by a jeer. "Hey look, it's the Eleven!"
Suzaku paused in his trek across the lawn to the auditorium. A slight breeze blew by, ruffling the grass under his feet; the shadow of the auditorium slanted over him as the late afternoon sun sailed the sky. Swiveling to the left, he noticed a huddled group of students passing something amongst themselves. Changing direction, he approached them and caught sight of an identical picture to the one resting in his school jacket being passed around. "What are you doing with that?" he asked in a dangerously low tone. He ignored the others' surprised gasps as he thrust his way into the circle, green eyes blazing. Snatching their copy of the photo, he ripped it into little pieces, letting his worry and anger surface. He and Lelouch were not a main attraction at a circus, and their private life was not meant to be mocked and ridiculed by the masses. Did people not understand how serious this was?
One of the students growled, "You think you can just come up and destroy our property? Think again, lowly Eleven scum!"
The athletic Japanese teen easily dodged the fist that came flying towards his nose, and he had to check himself that he didn't react like he would on the battlefield. These were his classmates, unskilled if misguided civilians, and he was a trained soldier. He couldn't unleash his full attack strength on them; it wouldn't be a fair fight. They'd gossiped and intruded into his and Lelouch's personal matters, but it wasn't as if they'd committed any great crime. They'd done nothing against Britannian law. He had no right to attack them, even in self-defense. So long as he could avoid their blows…
The group of students laughed. "Coward! Look, the Eleven won't fight back. He must be a really useless soldier."
Seething, Suzaku snarled back, "I don't want to hurt you!" He ducked under his current opponent's arm, emerald eyes scanning the crowd for any sign of Lelouch. It didn't make sense that his Britannian lover would be here among these hateful students—at least willingly—but he had to check to be sure.
The fight was drawing obvious attention. More teenagers came spilling out of nearby buildings to investigate what was going on. They packed the lawn and colonnade, jostling each other to get a closer look.
"Hey, it's the man of the hour!" shouted one of the students, jabbing his neighbor in the side with an elbow.
"How'd you land a beauty like Lamperouge?"
"Congratulations on your relationship! You two make such a cute couple!"
"How dare you turn Lelouch gay?!"
"Can you kiss him for the school newspaper?"
"Stupid Eleven!"
"How far have you gone with him?" The girl who'd asked that was sent dirty looks by her surrounding classmates. "What?" she asked indignantly. "It's a valid question. They might not have gone all the way yet!"
"That's enough!" Suzaku roared, backpedaling to safety. The oncoming rush of students broke apart the circle of fighting, and his original assailants were lost in the swirl of newcomers. Nervously, the Japanese tugged on his collar. Too many of his peers surrounded him to fight his way through, at least without causing unnecessary damage, and the solid wall they presented blocked off any escape routes. What should he say? There was no way out of this without throwing them a speech or an answer of some sort, but he wasn't nearly as good with words as Lelouch was. His eyelids slipped shut as he tried desperately to think of a way out of this. He couldn't hurt his fellow students; he wouldn't disrespect them as they had disrespected him—him and Lelouch.
Nerves steeling, he opened his eyes, emerald fire burning in their depths. He might not be as good a speaker as his lover, but this situation only called for the simple truth. He could handle that. "What Lelouch and I do when we're together is nobody's business but our own. Thank you to those who support us, but we'd really appreciate it if you'd all just stop making such a big deal over this." He held out his arms to ward off the students crowding around him, sweating as they closed in from every side. Not all of them were giving off hostile vibes, but he didn't have time to deal with this; he still had to locate Lelouch.
Just as he was being backed up against the building wall, the intercom buzzed again. A familiar voice rang over the lawn. "Would all members of the Student Council report to the Clubhouse Hall? It's an emergency."
Suzaku's eyes widened in fear. There was none of the usual playfulness found in Milly's voice, and his gut lurched at the word 'emergency.' Somehow, he knew it involved Lelouch. The adrenaline rush kicked in, giving him the resolve to brave the sea of students standing in his way. In a daze, he pushed his way through the throng and dashed back to the Student Council room. As he burst inside and ran along the hallways, he noticed other students shooting him sympathetic looks; the ones milling about the school must have been the ones helping to look for Lelouch out of the goodness of their hearts. That, or they were the few who didn't really care about the latest school news. His feet pounded against the floor, the sound oddly reminiscent of his heart pounding wildly against his ribcage. There was room for only a single thought in the muddled recesses of his mind: Please, Lelouch, be okay.
He had to believe in his lover. He'd made a promise.
"I know what you're thinking, Suzaku. Stop it." Lelouch frowned in the brunet's direction, pushing at his chest to send the younger sprawling.
The brown-haired boy laughed cautiously from his new spot on the bedroom floor. A small glob of lube sprayed the wooden floorboard, accidentally spilling as it fell off the bed with him; he knew Lelouch would be upset when he noticed that his room was no longer completely spotless. Holding the other's gaze, the brunet blindly tried to scoop the lube onto his hands. They still had a use for it, after all. "Oh, so you can read minds now?" he asked, going for playful, ducking the pillow that was thrown at him for his cheek.
The exiled prince sighed dramatically, folding his arms over his chest. Unfortunately per his intentions, he didn't look imposing at all; in fact, in his vulnerable undressed state, he reinforced the image he detested: fragile.
With a small, upward curve of his lips, Lelouch fondly murmured, "Your mind is so simple an idiot could read it." He held up a hand to ward off any protests, specks of concern floating in his eyes. There was a bigger issue to discuss. "Suzaku, listen. I can take care of myself. I don't need you to worry about me or baby me or shelter me or protect me or anything else along those lines you're thinking of doing. I can handle the world, so give me more credit." They both knew his speech was not limited to their activities within the bedroom.
With an apologetic look, the Japanese boy ignored the teasing to focus on his lover's more serious words. "I don't mean to underestimate you. It's just…I care about you, Lelouch, so it's natural for me to worry. Don't you worry about me? About Nunnally?" Suzaku pressed earnestly, slowly climbing back on the bed. Lelouch didn't push him off this time.
The black-haired boy blushed a darker red, snapping a harsh, "That's different!" in the other's direction.
Suzaku hummed in his throat but didn't press the issue. 'Different,' of course. Lelouch just always had to be difficult. The young soldier leaned forward, dropping a hand on Lelouch's shoulder. "Fine," he acquiesced. "I'll humor you. I can't promise I won't worry, but I'll try to remember that you can handle yourself."
"And now you're mocking me," Lelouch growled, clenching fistfuls of the sheet in his lap. "You don't really believe—" He was interrupted by a hard kiss, quite effectively silencing him. As soon as Suzaku pulled back, he continued as if the disruption never took place, "—that I can take care of myself. Well, let me remind you that I've been doing it for the past seven years—"
"Lelouch, I know that. I just—"
"—Nunnally, too—"
"— I'm sorry, I—"
"—don't need you looking down on me—"
"—I'd never—"
"—need your help," Lelouch finished with a huff.
There was an unpleasant, metallic scent lingering in the gym. Shirley had to hold her hands over her nose and mouth as soon as she entered; it wasn't that it was overpowering, but that it was out-of-place. Sports-related injuries weren't uncommon, but the scent of blood was never this prominent for a minor scrape or cut. Besides, the last gym class ended hours ago; there was no reason for the iron tang of blood to taint the air. A twisting knot of anticipation settled in her stomach, and the poor girl dreaded what she would find at the source of the awful stench. "Please don't be Lelou," she prayed, but with every step, the certainty and revulsion at the idea grew. She followed her nose to the back, her breath hitching as she caught sight of the first splash of red. Bloody footprints stained the floor heading away from the boy's locker room.
There wasn't enough blood to indicate a major wound, but there was enough to assure her there was something amiss. The footprints only lasted a few paces, the vibrant red at the door fading with each step outward. Panic seized the girl's heart, and she wrung her hands together nervously. What if the dangerous people came back? A shudder ran through her body, but she straightened and steadfastly put her hand on the door. Lelou might be inside.
Painstakingly, Shirley pushed the door open. She breathed a slight sigh of relief when she didn't notice anything amiss in her direct line of vision, but the fearful anticipation came back twice as strong when she remembered she still had the rest of the room to search. The smell of blood was stronger here, and she held her breath as she stepped over the threshold onto the wet tiled floor. She clutched the protruding door for as long as she could, trying to regain her bearings, before she had to let go in order to move forward. The loud click of the door closing behind her made her freeze; she felt trapped. "Lelou?" she called softly, her voice catching.
A rustle to her left caught her attention, and she swung around in that direction. It was the same one the footprints originated from. The layout of the boy's locker room was similar to that of the girl's. There were rows of dark blue lockers stacked the length of the room which blocked her from seeing anything beyond the closest metal compartments. She had to traverse the aisle near the wall in order to peer into each sectioned off area; lockers were normally grouped together by class. "Hello?" she called out again. So intent was she upon looking for Lelouch, she tripped over a metal baseball bat that was lying carelessly on the ground. With a shriek, she fell on her face.
When she lifted her eyes, she was privy to the most glorious and most disturbing sight she'd ever beheld.
"Shirley said it was an emergency," Milly informed the others once they'd all gathered at the Clubhouse Hall. She didn't even try to hide the urgency in her voice, which was a huge tip-off that something was dreadfully wrong. "I didn't want to broadcast the place she found him. We don't need bystanders getting in our way. Listen, I need a volunteer or two to go to the front gates and direct the ambulance once it gets here. I've already called one. We're going to the gym—the boy's locker room to be precise." Deep blue eyes were set and determined; it would take someone who knew Milly very well to understand she was holding back tears. Immediately, the members of the Student Council gasped and started tossing questions at their blonde president.
Suzaku didn't stick around to hear anymore; he'd figure things out for himself after he saw Lelouch. As soon as the word 'gym' left the president's mouth, he was out the door and running harder than he ever had—even with all his years of military training. The mention of an ambulance only spurred him on faster, and all his old half-imagined outrageous fantasies roared to life inside his head. He needed to see Lelouch, needed to know he would be okay.
He reached the gym in record time and cursed to himself that he had to slow down to open doors. "Lelouch," he murmured to himself. "You told me you could handle yourself. Please…" He didn't even know what he was mumbling anymore when he finally burst into the boy's locker room, drawn there by the hysterical sobs of one orange-haired friend.
Shirley's cell phone was shaking in her lap. It wasn't vibrating because of an incoming call, but because the girl herself was quivering so hard. Olive green eyes were trained on an unmoving lump of skin, blood, and Ashford Academy uniform.
Suzaku followed her line of sight and choked. He suddenly didn't have enough air, and his chest was burning. He started shaking, too overwhelmed with shock. He barely heard Shirley's frantic cries of, "We shouldn't move him; we can't move him!" as he took a step closer, forcing himself to look.
Come. And spit. Smeared over his Britannian lover's face. Suzaku gasped and swayed on his feet at the sight, his vision swimming with tears as he shook his head in disbelief. Burning rage warred with numb shock, and his blackened tunnel-vision focused only on Lelouch. Through the haze, he noticed the striking red cut on the Britannian's backside; the wound promised to scar in the near future into a permanent numerical shape: 11. He stumbled forward the rest of the way, his chest tight as he hyperventilated. He tried to get his breathing under control, but it was impossible. He had too many emotions whirling inside him to concentrate; sobbing, he reached out to his lover. His pulse raced, and his mind was a panicked jumble of thoughts. Oh god, Lelouch. That is…you've been…how could this have…because of me…should've been here…need you to…should've protected you…open your eyes…please…wake up…who the hell did this…must kill…I'm so sorry…Lelouch, I…
His eyes grazed over his lover's form. The damage seemed to be mostly restricted to Lelouch's lower body, but the wounds there were enough to tear at his heartstrings. The victimized Britannian's bare legs were covered in bruises and bits of blood; in some instances, the skin had peeled away to reveal raw, jagged bone. His limbs looked like mashed pulp where the bones had been struck so often they'd broken into many unrecognizable lumps of connective tissue. Purplish-red blotches circled his neck; the intense color was visible peeking out from under his uniform collar. Ebony hair was mussed. Both his arms and legs were tied securely around a wooden changing bench, and his eyes were covered by a blindfold. It was worse than he'd imagined, and to top it all off, Lelouch wasn't moving.
Almost reverently, he tugged the accursed blindfold from Lelouch's eyes and smoothed back his sweat-matted hair. As soon as his fingers made contact with the raven-haired boy's body, Lelouch very visibly flinched. Suzaku paused, letting his hand hover, not wanting to cause his lover any more pain. Another garbled sob caught in his throat; he never ever wanted Lelouch to be afraid of him. It was understandable why the beaten Britannian boy was adverse to touch, but it still hurt; Suzaku had never wanted to hug Lelouch more in his life. Slowly, he tested the waters and ran a finger along the older boy's cheek, deeply relieved to feel breath issuing steadily from between open lips. Lelouch had stiffened at first, but he'd made no move to shake the brunet's hand off his head. Was that because deep down he recognized Suzaku's touch, or because he had been recently conditioned not to fight? Cringing at the fluids on the older boy's face, the Japanese let himself cry over the prone figure, his tears dripping into soft black locks. He closed his eyes, praying it was all a horrible dream, and whispered a quiet, broken, pleading, "Lelouch."
"Suzaku…"
His eyes snapped open at the weak, scratchy sound of his name being uttered. Green eyes sought out purple, and he wept harder at the uncharacteristically defeated, dull look he found in them. So Lelouch was awake after all—if not completely there, judging by the hazy look in his eyes. Suzaku felt as if there were claws piercing his heart. And he knew, as he stared into Lelouch's dim eyes, that the self-blame and self-loathing he'd felt earlier that day were incomparable to the way he felt now, with sharp tendrils of suffocating fiery shame engulfing his entire body. The Lancelot was just a Knightmare, a military resource—it could always be replaced.
But Lelouch…
Chest tightening further at the thought, he cupped his lover's cheek—dirtied as it was—and fell to his knees, his uniform pants getting stained with blood and sweat. He lovingly rubbed his thumb in a comforting circular motion beneath Lelouch's left eye, never breaking his gaze. Swallowing, he tried to force some words out, but found he couldn't make his voice work; only a strangled hiccup sounded for all his efforts.
The other members of the Student Council arrived, but could only stare in shock, not wanting to intrude. Milly dropped down beside Shirley, not having the willpower to hold back her tears any longer at the sight of Lelouch's current state. Rivalz stayed on his feet, but only barely. Nina and Sayoko had been elected to fetch the ambulance. It was only when the whirring buzz of Nunnally's wheelchair sounded that Suzaku realized he was not alone with Lelouch, never mind Shirley who had been there from the beginning.
"What's going on?" the young blind girl asked, her voice quaking in the tense atmosphere. "That smell…is it blood? Someone please tell me if my brother is all right!" In a rare show of frustration, she slammed her hand down on the armrest of her wheelchair and motored forward another few inches. "Please! Someone…"
Lelouch didn't even turn at the sound of his beloved sister's worried tone.
Suzaku lifted his head, never ceasing his ministrations, and found his voice. "I'm sorry, Nunnally. I've failed."
-End Chapter-