Road To Acceptance
Summary: Basically the first chapter in Phil's POV...
Disclaimer: Don't own... enough said. If you sue all you will get is about 10 dollars, my new puppy and bass... actually you can have the puppy, just leave my money and bass! ::grin::
Warnings: Contains some slash
A/N: Hmm... longest chapter ever written! Go me! ::grin:: not really anywho... I wanted to write the story in Phil's POV to help explain things? hehe ok not really I just wanted to do another chapter... Ok go read now... enjoy...
'I see billboards on the horizon
I can imagine
what they'll tell me
What to wear
What to drink
Where to eat
It's so easy not to think
for youself anymore'- New Found Glory's No News is Good News
'By now I should have been somewhere
or gone to school, or fixed my hair
back down tell it to someone else
who gives a shit and needs your help
cause I've found
What I needed and I
don't need you to tell me how you feel
and if I fall you are
not the one that has to cope and deal
all my problems are for me...
All my problems are for me
I don't need your eyes to see
I will be what I will be'- Smile Empty Soul's All My Problems
Groaning as the bright light fell so heavily over my closed eyes, I turn to my side. Attempting to block the bright rays, I pull my black fuzzy comforter over my head and drift off into a light sleep. Atleast I try to as my twin sister demands I get up. I look over and her and fake a small smile.
We were so close when we were younger; what happened? She forces a smile back at me and pushes me off the bed. Laughing lightly, I pull her down on the floor beside me.
"Ugh, what was that for?" I ask rubbing my head, who has just met the floor.
"Because, now hurry up," she replies glaring and pulling herself off the floor.
"I hate you, sis," I mumble.
"Yeah, and I hate you," she replies.
I get up from the floor and head to my closet. I grab out my black chained-bondage pants, and a black t-shirt. My sister stares at them in disgust. She hates my choice in clothes, its a proven fact.
"Why do you wear that crap? If you wore decent clothes then people would actually like you," she tells me. "I mean haven't you heard about fashion?"
"Why do you care about what other people's views? They're worthless, wouldn't you like to act the way you wanted?" I ask in a defensive tone.
"I do what I want," she replies sounding insulted.
"Whatever, Lil you're my sis and I'll always love you, but back off. I mean I don't tell you what to wear or how to act," I say.
"You're so difficult!" she replies turning on her heel and storming out of my room.
'What the fuck?' I think as I head toward the bathroom. 'Shower time!'
Sighing deeply, I step into the steaming hot spray of water. I grab the shampoo and start to shampoo my hair as I fall into thoughts.
Just two years ago Lil and I were inseparable. Now we are at each others throats, and acting like we don't know each other. Man, seriously what happened to us? Why did we drift apart so much?
Feeling depressed I finsh up my shower and get ready for another useless day at school. I skip over doing my hair and head downstairs. The chains on my pants hitting against each other, creating a dinging sound. As I enter the kitchen my sister gives me a slight glare and my 'rents greet me.
"I'm gonna skip breakfast, I'm not to hungry," I tell them, hoping they let me go.
"Ok Philly, atleast take something with you," my mom says. "We'll talk after school." she mumbles as I pass by her.
She always seems to know when something is wrong. It's like a weird mother vibe or something. Nodding slightly, I grab a muffin and trudge out of the house. My Vans are alittle to big and fall off my feet slightly as I walk toward the bus stop.
My two great friends Chuckie and Kimi are already there. They wave over at me as I hurry over to them.
"Hey guys," I greet as I walk up.
"Yo Phil," Chukie replies.
Chuckie has flaming red hair with some black in it. He's wearing semi-baggy pants and a black KoRn shirt. He has the brightest blue eyes I have ever seen. And I've seen many blues eyes. Kimi is asian and has on tight black pants with a red shirt. She doesn't wear make-up and is really pretty without it.
Kimi and Chuckie are step siblings. Their father and mother met in Paris, for a convention. Kira and Chaz got along well and before we knew it, they were married. One thing I find really weird about this family is that the two girl's names start with a 'K' and the two guys a 'C.'
Kimi and I went out for some time before, but just recently I found out that I wasn't attracted to girls, but to guys. I was shocked by this discovery, but Chuckie, Kimi, and my parents supported me. Lil, on the other hand, wasn't so supportive, but she got over it. Other than my friends and family no one else knows, and I hope it stays that way.
"Phil?" someone calls as I see a hand waving in my face.
"Hu-huh?" I ask dazed.
"Dude, you totally spaced out. As I was saying, have you met your new neighbor yet?" Chuckie asks.
"No, I hear they have a kid, younger," I reply.
"What school?"
"Don't know, maybe ours," I reply. "Mom said that they were related to Angelica, the almighty bitch."
"Arg, great another snuck-up, close-minded person," Kimi mumbles under her breath.
"Maybe," Chuckie says.
"Most likely."
"Well, we will just have to see for ourselves, that is if we met him today," I tell them as the bus pulls up.
We all get on the bus, the front seats are taken by the smarter kids, the middle by the jocks and cheerleaders. Which leaves the back to the freaks, and other non-cool kids. I really don't understand the different standards and labels. It's a bunch of bull shit to me, but then again it's what the people on TV say. You have to dress this way and all this shit. I guess some kids just want to be accepted, loved.
Sighing deeply we take our usual seats in the back, but not before some stupid ass trips me. Standing up I glare over at my sister's boyfriend and captain of the football team. Flicking him off, I resume my walk to the back of the bus. He's glaring daggers at the back of my head, it brings a smirk to my face.
"Dumbass," I mumble sitting by myself, Chuckie and Kimi in front of me.
"Man, sometimes I wish I could just beat the shit out of them," Chuckie says.
"Yeah right, you beat them up? Bro, they will kill you before you even get one hit in. No offence, but bro you're a wimp," Kimi said smiling.
"Gee, thanks Kimi. That makes me more confident," he said slightly hitting the back of her head.
"Arg, you suck," she mumbles.
I watch the scene in amusment, they always fight. It's like they are blood related or something. It's really funny to watch. Sighing, I turn toward the window, thinking about Lil and me again.
I still can't believe we are so distant. It's like really sad if you look at it, I mean we are twins. Shouldn't we have a stronger bond than any other family member? It's all just so confusing.
"Yo, Phil man, what's eating you?" Chuckie asked. "You keep spacing out and getting the depressed look."
"Aw, it's nothing man, same shit." I mumble smiling.
"Right, but dude come on we are you're friends."
"No worries, just family stuff. You know,"
"Right," Kimi says sounding worried.
"Don't worry, I'm fine. I'm not gonna go home and kill myself."
"Good boy, changing subject," Kimi said. "Mood got to serious for me."
The three of us start to laugh and talk about a lighter subject. We arrive at school, and slowly get off the bus.
"Ready for another day of being called freak and being glared at?" I ask them.
"Yes," they replied.
"Good," I say.
The whole name-calling thing has become a game to use. Who ever is called the most names in the day get's a free soda at lunch. We head toward our usual hangout spot, heads held high.
"Hey, Chuck what's that on your shirt?" I ask.
"What, it's nothing, hey!"
"Ha, got you again."
"Man Chuckie you fall for that every single time."
"Shut up."
"Not nice to tell people to shut up! I mean, like, it, like, hurts, like, my ears!" I explain trying my best to do a girly voice.
"If you ever do that again I will personally kill you," Kimi told me pushing me.
Just as I was about to tell her off the bell rings, we all head of to different classes. I have English first, Chuckie has AP Math, and Kimi History. I make it to my class just as the bell rings. The teacher smiles at me as I walk to the back.
My teacher in this class is one of the nicer teachers. She doesn't allow outside looks to interfere with her- teaching skills? Well let's try again, she doesn't judge based on outside appearance. That sounds better. The class goes by slow, and I've been called freak five times and weird freak three times. Smiling slightly, I write that down, I'm winning the drink today.
The bell rings alittle later and I head toward second period, History. Kimi is just leaving the class as I walk up.
"Yo Kimi I have eight names so far! How bout you?" I ask grinning.
"Um, I lost count after twenty-five," She says laughing.
"Seriously?"
"No, I have five so far."
"Loser, get to class. Hey now you have six!"
"Dork, see you in forth, that is if you show up."
"I'll be there, now get to class!" I demand grinning. 'Did she just flick me off? Oh no way! She will pay! PAY I SAY! Hey that rhymes. '
I watch her walk down the hall, as she turned the corner I walk in. My second period teacher is one of the worst teachers ever. Well he is a really good teacher, but very strict. He thinks I'm a trouble maker so he watches me at all times. I don't know why though, it's usually the football players who cause the most trouble, but for some odd reason he always overlooks it.
"Ok class today-" he starts his lesson and I space out not caring about what he is saying. I'll just get the notes from Kimi later.
'Bored, bored, bored-hey what's that? Dude there is a bug on my desk, awesome!' runs through my head as I poke at the bug. 'Heh, run free man! RUN!'
"Phil?!" someone yells as I look up.
"Uhh-yeah?" I ask.
"Is there someone you would like to introduce to the class?" he asks sounding a little pissed, but just a little bit.
"Huh? What are you--oh you mean the bug? Naw, he's just peachy, doesn't need anymore friends. Thanks for offering though," I reply cheeky.
"Detention, tomorrow at lunch," he says sounding a little more pissed, but just a little more.
'Oh yay, lunch detention,' I think. "Uh sir, since I already have detention, can I release my buddy back into the wild. The people in here are making him slightly uncomfortable," I question trying to hide a smile.
"Would you like to add another detention?"
"Um, no sir, but the bug he's scared." I tell him. 'Of your face that is!'
"Phil get out of my class, I don't want to see you for the rest of the-" he was cut off by the bell ringing.
"Bye sir, come along Mr. Flannigan Jr." I say cheerfully heading off to my third period class, biology, Mr. Flannigan glaring at me. "Once again bye teach, mad props dawg!"
A few people walk by me and give me an evil look, some even mutter mean things under their breath. Sighing deeply, I write down the names and number of times I've been called it. Turning toward the name-callers I say:
"You guys do know by calling me freak and stuff you are helping me get a free soda? And I thought you were trying to make my life hell."
They give me a certain finger, which isn't very nice, and continue walking down the hall. Sighing again I head toward my next class. Another class were I am outcasted, worst thing is there is only eight people in it, that includes me. Sitting in my usual seat, I stare up at the clock, everyone has already arrived and is sitting on the opposite side of the room.
The door creaks open and in comes this hot guy. He has on bondage pants similar to mine, his are cloth instead. He's System of A Down shirt hangs loosely and his many chains lie lightly on it. The one thing that catches my eye, a spiked leather choker.
'Oh yes, hottie in the class,' I think as I start intently at my desk and I feel his eyes on me. 'Oh yes score!'
"Class this is Dil Pickles," Mrs. Lambert says after a few minutes of silence. "He just moved here from Vegas."
Across the room harsh whispers break out, I can see he is feeling uncomfortable. Relief fills me as Mrs. L. told him to sit next to me. I figure I'll greet him in an emotionless voice, see if he is a jerk like the others or not. Wait he's Dil Pickles, maybe he's the one that just moved in. I remember mom saying that their son's name was Dil. Might as well ask him, later.
"Hi Dil, name's Phil," I mumble.
"Hi Phil," he replies, nervously.
"S.O.A.D huh?" I ask trying to get him to feel more comfortable.
"Yeah, pretty cool band," he said trying to sound cool, not quite working.
"So how have the bastards at this school been treating you?"
"Peachy, just peachy."
"I'll introduce you to the others, by the way are you related to Angelica?" I ask, hoping he wasn't. 'Please don't be, please don't be. Well atleast don't be like her.'
"Yeah, she's my cousin."
'He doesn't seem to happy about that, score! Wait isn't he suppose to have a brother?' I ponder. "Don't you have a brother, uh... Tommy?"
"I did, but he uh- isn't here anymore," he says in a small voice, and I see a speck of pain in his eyes.
"What do you mean did?" I think, but in reality I ask him. 'FUCK!'
"Nevermind, I don't really like talking about it."
"Sorry," I mumble. 'Shit, I screwed this shit up. Fuck, I'm such a dumbass.'
I get lost in my thoughts as we fall quiet. I can't believe I asked him that, without meaning to. I really am a dumbass. Sighing deeply, I wish Mrs. L would get up from the computer and actually teach us something today. She does this everything other day, sits behind the computer and checks her email. Either that or she works on the Cross-country website.
Before I know it the class has ended and I'm heading to my glass making class. Why I signed up for this class I will never know, and why they have one-I don't wanna know. Good thing about this class is that Chuckie and Kimi is in it, and the teacher is decent.
Kimi and Chuckie are already there as I enter the class room. Mr. Flannigan Jr. still in my hand. Grinning evilly I walk over to my two best friends, a plan forming in my head.
"You have to be kidding!" Chuckie exclaims in a worried voice.
"Nope, I am completely serious!" I reply.
"Alright let's get this thing underway!" Kimi butts in grinning madly.
Smiling slightly, I get up from my seat and walk over to the teachers desk. My buddy was left with Kimi and Chuckie. I start to talk to my teacher about an assignment that is due in a few weeks. As I do that, Kimi sneaks up behind on of the most popular girls in school, Mr. Flannigan Jr. in her hand. Chuckie is sitting in the back watching the scene, as soon as I told him about it he said no. He is one of the smartest kids in school, and he is afraid to ruin his perfect record.
Smirking, I watch Kimi walk up behind one of the Mr. Belkin's favorite students. Silently she walks up behind her and drops Mr. Flannigan Jr. on her back. Causing Kay to shriek and drop a vase she was working on. As it hit the floor is scattered creating a loud crash. Mr. Belkin rushes over to her and tries to help her get the bug. My buddy scrambles away from their hands as she does an amusing dance to try and get the offending creature off of her.
Kimi walks over to me with an amused smile on her face. Grinning back at her, we turn to Chuckie who looks close to laughter. We walk over there, our smiles small and hopefully nobody notices them.
"That was priceless, but we made her break the vase," Chuckie mumbles as we reach the table.
"That's true, but how about all the times she made us drop our projects and stuff," I tell him trying to ease his guilt.
"Yeah bro, I mean so many 'F's' we go because of them and they always get away with it," she tells him.
"True."
"Hmm... how much you wanna bet they are gonna blame it on us?" I ask grinning.
"Three, two, one," Kimi counted down, as soon as she hit one we were called up to the teacher's desk.
"I know you three did it," he said sounding pissed, just like Mr. Flannigan.
'I really need to stop pissing my teachers off.'
"Phil," someone calls him and I wipe the amused smirk off my face as I realize who did. "Which one of you came up with this plan?"
"I did," we all said at once.
"All three of you?"
"Well you see sir, it was me," I mumbled.
"He's lying sir, I did it," Chuckie spoke up.
"And I helped him," Kimi mumbled. "I put the bug on her. Phil couldn't have done it he was with you the whole time."
"That's true, Kimi and Chuckie detention at lunch today. Chuckie I'm dissappointed in you, your perfect record. You really should consider getting new friends."
Ignoring the last comment we head back to our table. The kids in the class glaring at us and mumbling under the breath. I'm not sure what they are saying but I'm pretty sure it's not very nice.
"Why did you guys take the blame?" I ask as we sit.
"Remember what he said last time. One more screw up and he's calling your mother," Chuckie said. "Then your ass is grounded."
"Oh yeah, well thanks guys," I tell them.
"What are friends for? Now we can cause trouble here at lunch!"
"Guys do you think I'll ever see Mr. Flannigan Jr. again?" I ask in a dramatic voice.
"I think they killed him."
"They killed Flannigan Jr.! Those bastards!"
The two of them gave me a weird look and we starts to laugh. Mr. B looks over at us and tells us to be quiet. The other kids in the class just give us dirty looks and continue their projects.
"Remind me why we signed up for this class," I comment.
"Because it looked like an easy A," Kimi replies.
"Keyword is 'looked'," I mumble.
"True dat dawg," Chuckie says trying to sound gangsta.
"Don't ever do that again."
"Don't worry I won't," he says as the bell rings. "And if I do I give you permission to beat the crap out of me."
"I'll catch you guys at lunch, so hurry over I want you to meet someone."
"Who?"
"A new kid in my bio class," I tell them.
"Hot?" Kimi ask.
"Hell yes, I have to go meet him. So I'll catch up with you people later, peace."
They say their byes and I head out the door and toward the lunch room. Upon entering I see Dil pulling himself up off the floor and football captain laughing. Anger surges though my body as I see Dil look down at the floor. I quickly head over to him, but the urge to tell Rob off is just to strong to ignore.
"Fucker, you leave him alone," I say getting up into Rob's face.
"Make me," he replies in a calm voice.
"Fuck you, he doesn't need your shit. Can't you find someone else to pick on today?"
"No."
"Leave him alone, or else," I say in a deadly calm voice.
"You fuckin' bitch," Rob exclaimed. "Don't tell me what to fuckin' do!"
"Look leave him alone, there are plenty of other people to torture!" I reply anger still surging through my body. 'Stay calm, don't start a fight.'
"Fuck off, before I decided to beat the-what?" he started to say before my sister cut him off.
"Leave him," she told him in a pleading voice.
"You're lucky freak."
"Whatever," I reply not really caring. 'Lil stood up for me once, I'm surprise. And I didn't exactly tell him off, what's up with me today?'
I turn and head toward Dil who is standing. I'm pretty sure he saw that had just happened, and I feel a bit proud.
"Thanks," he says in his quiet, sweet voice.
"No prob, the others aren't here yet. They have lunch detention," I tell him grinning. 'Oh that prank was so awesome.'
"Ok."
We fall into an uncomfortable silence, not quite knowing what to say. I'm usually calm and collected and know just what to say, but around him I'm a wreck. So many thoughts run through my head and it's just so confusing. Plus I'm scared I'm going to reveal to much to him and he won't accept me. The growling of my stomach pulls me from my thoughts.
"Are you hungry?" I ask.
"What?" he said coming out of thoughts.
'I wonder what he's thinking.' pops into my head. "You hungry?"
"Not really."
I knew he was lying, I could see it in his eyes, but I couldn't say anything. I didn't want to seem like a controlling person, I'll just grab him something anyways. Act like I just took to much or something.
"Alright, I'ma go get some food, you sure you're not hungry?" I ask once more.
"Yeah, I'll stay here."
"Ok," I reply getting up and walking toward the line.
Everyone around me was in bright colors and actually ignoring me. Usually I have about five people cutting in front of me or pushing me around. I'm grateful that no one is bugging me, I didn't want Dil to see me get pissed, well see me pissed again. Smiling, I feel his eyes on me and I look up a little. As I look up I see Angelica walk over to him, an evil smirk on her face. I don't get to see what she is saying, because I am pushed into the food area.
It takes awhile for me to get out because people don't seem to know what a line is. As I leave I head back over to the table, noting two things. One: Dil isn't there and two: Chuckie and Kimi are sitting there with food already.
"How did you get the food? I was here before you!" I ask in disbelief.
"Mr. B gave us some, he said something about gross school lunch," Chuckie said.
"Damn I wish I would have stayed for detention."
"Heh, so let's see who has the most names?" Chuckie ask. "And where is the person that you were introducing us to?"
"Oh shit, I forgot, I don't know where he ran off to. Think we should look for him?" I ask.
"We should," Kimi said getting up.
"Alright."
"We'll skip the free soda thing today. Last time I saw him Angelica was saying something to him. That stupid bitch."
"True."
We headed out into the quad area were a few kids hang out. He was nowhere to be found, so we checked each hallway. Still nothing, he wasn't in the bathrooms or the gym.
"Damn guys, he's a good hider," I say grinning widely. "He would have ruled at Hide-and-seek."
"Heh, think he's behind the school?" Kimi asks. "I used to go there to think."
"Let's check," I say as we head toward the back.
"Guys we have about one minut-" Chuckie says as the bell rings ending lunch. "I stand corrected, come on we have to go to class. I'm sure he'll turn up somewhere."
"Yeah alright."
I head off toward my Latin class, Dil still running through my head. I'm hoping Angelica didn't say anything to harsh to him, I mean they are related after all. I'm suddently pulled out of my thoughts as my teacher calls on me to translate some stuff. Sighing quietly I translate some old text thing.
Latin flys by and before I know it I'm in Algebra two. Sitting in my usual seat I'm surprised to see Dil enter the class. He hads Mr. Turner, or Mr. T as the everyone calls him, his shedule. Mr. T allows him to sit anywhere, and he picks a seat near mine.
'Yes, he's safe and chose a seat near me,' was the only thing running through my head during the whole class.
The class seems to fly by, and before I know it we are able to talk quietly to each other. Turning toward Dil I ask him where he ran off to during lunch.
"I had to get away," he said a frown present on his face.
"What happened?" I ask. 'Stupid Angelica.'
"Things," he says looking down.
"Look I know we just met and all, but we're friends right?" I ask. 'Please say yes!'
"Yeah," he says still looking down at the desk.
"As a friend I'm asking you to open up and tell me what happened," I tell him hoping I don't sound like I'm pleading. 'Damn I've never felt like this, helping someone I only met a few hours ago. I still hope he tells me though.'
"Come after school and I'll tell you," he blurts out, without thinking.
"Yeah alright, where do you-" I'm cut off by the bell releasing us from this dreadful place.
As we walk towards the bus area I ask him again. I already know he's my neighbor but he doesn't need to know that I know.
"I don't know the name of the street, I ride bus ten though," he mumbles.
"No shit? Me too, along with my friends, you can finally meet them!" I exclaim, in a fake surprised voice. 'I am so good! Maybe I should take up acting!'
"Cool," he states forcing a smile.
"Don't worry, they aren't like the bastards here," I tell him. 'Oh yeah you are so good at reading minds. Maybe I should become a mind reader, what's the actual term again? I know I can become an actor who reads people's minds!'
"Yeah, alright," he replies as a cute blush appears on his pale face.
The area around us becomes quiet, I'm staring at the ground, pondering. I wonder what it would be like to hold him, how soft his lips are.
'Shit, you can't be thinking like that. You barely know the kid, and he's younger! Plus you don't know if he even likes guys.'
Suddently I feel eyes on me, and I look over at my right. I see Dil's head snap away and look at the ground. I small blush appears on his face. Grinning inwardly, the bus pulls up and we head over to it. I'm hoping to get a middle seat for one, I'm sick of the back already. I'm not lucky enough, we are forced to sit in the back. Dil and I share a seat, he's by the window and I'm on the outside.
Soon enough Chuckie and Kimi board the bus. They luckily get the seat in front of Dil and me. Grinning slightly, Chuckie and Kimi turn around. A questioning look in their eyes. Nodding slightly, I give them a reassuring smile.
"Hi I'm Chuckie," he starts, "And this is my sister Kimi."
"Hi, I'm Dil," he replies in a small voice.
"Are you the one that moved into the house next to us?" I ask. 'Well duh! I know the answer yet I have to ask. I'm a dumbass'
"Where do you-" he starts to question, but is cut off by the jerk of the bus.
"Well nevermind, we'll find out!" I exclaiming, grinning. 'I already know!'
Chuckie, Kimi, and I tell Dil about all the good hang-out spots and who to avoid. We share stories about stupid stuff that happens at our school. In return he tells us about his experince in Vegas.
"Oh and there was this one time I was in middle school. The principal decided to RPC, Required Parent Conference, if you didn't do your homework. Half the school was RPCed, it was so awesome," he tells us.
"Really? Wow that's kinda ghetto," Kimi says.
"Yeah I know, but you should have see the neighborhood! Every house had bars on the doors and windows. Almost every house had either a pit bull or some other mean dog," he says smiling. "Vegas rules, but that place is so run-down."
As he said that we jerked to the stop. Forcing us to fly foward a little bit. To my surprise Dil gets off at our stop. Grinning inwardly, I say bye to Chuckie and Kimi. They give us a small wave and nod and head off toward their house. Dil looks guilty, and I wonder if it's because he's telling me this and not them.
'I hope he still tells me. I really want to know what happened. Damn it! Why do I care so much? I just met the kid today!'
A sigh pulls me from my thoughts as we enter his house. His parents are no where to be found, which is a good thing and a bad thing. Frowning, I remember I was suppose to talk to my mom after school, oh well. I admire the house around me as we head upstairs to his room.
As we enter his room I notice that there is nothing in it. The only thing I can see is a bed, dresser and a few boxes. His walls are white and bare, kinda scary if you ask me. Before he moved in there was a girl that lived here. Her walls were plastered in posters of boy bands and pink heart things. We throw our stuff to the floor and down. I'm leaning against his twin size bed, taking in everything.
"Nice room, very plain," I say in a joking tone.
"Yeah I know," he replies smiling slightly, worry still in his eyes.
"I'll help you unpack, if you want," I offer trying to change the subject for the time being. 'I hope you say yes to the offer, if you do I get to stay longer!'
"Sure, later though... long day," he replies looking thankful, and a little excited?
"So, I don't want to seem to pushy but what happened at lunch?" I ask after a moment of silence. 'Please don't pull away, please don't!'
The room falls quiet and he seems to be debating with himself. Looking up I see an odd glint, determination? As I stare into his eyes I get lost and I'm pulled out when he starts to talk.
"Remember I told you I once had a brother?" he asks and I nod. "Well my loveable cousin cousin decided to have fun. I've always blamed myself for his leaving-"
"Leaving?" I question.
"Er-he ran away six months ago. Anyways we had always been close and like one day he came to me and was like 'I can't live like this.' I asked him what he meant, but he didn't answer. He just handed me a box, which had the chocker I am wearing, and left. I couldn't have stopped him, maybe if I wasn't such a freak he wouldn't have left me-alone," he tells me, his voice cracks slightly and tears rush to his eyes.
"I'm sure it wasn't your fault. Look your cousin is a bitch, she must've known what she said would have gotten to you," I try to tell him, but he doesn't believe it. 'He really believes it was his fault, Angelica is so gonna pay when I leave. So gonna pay.Ok maybe not, but I can dream can't I?'
"You don't understand, what she said was true. Tommy and I were complete opposites, he was football captain, everyone loved him. Where as I was the little freak, who was ignored. No one picked on me, because of Tommy. He kept them in check. Maybe if I wasn't such a freak he would haven't had the pressure and meybe he wouldn't have left. Maybe we would have been closer, and maybe he wouldn't have been so ashamed," he tells me as the tears run down his face, and he tries to wipe them away without me noticing.
'My god, how can he blame himself for this? It couldn't have been his fault, I mean he's bro sounds like he wouldn't have cared.' I think as I do the only thing that seems right, hold him until he calms down.
"It wasn't your fault," I whisper to him as he grabs on to me. Out of nowhere he attempts to break away from me. 'Not happening.' I grab on to him harder; until he finally gives in.
Soon his tears are gone and the only thing that could be heard was his sniffling. He looks up at me blushing.
"It's ok, feel better?" I ask as he nods.
A silent agreement is formed, and we both get up and start unpacking his posters and other objects. It's takes us hours to unpack and hang the posters up, along with finding all his swords and daggers. Which are pretty sweet, hopefully he doesn't use them to harm himself. Soon enough we are done and his room looks pretty awesome, it isn't so bare.
"Yo Dil, man I really don't want to go, but I have to," I tell him, dreading the departure. "I'll see you tomorrow though."
"Yeah alright," he tells me. "Thanks."
"No prob," I reply as I grab my stuff and he walks me out. 'Hmm... its dark out was I really there for that long. I wonder what time it is, and what we're having for dinner.'
"Phil?" someone calls from behind me.
"What?" I ask as the person comes into closer view.
"Where have you been?" she asks.
"Friends house, Lil," I reply. "What about you?"
"Rob's, and who's your friend?"
"Dil Pickles."
"The neighbor? I heard he made his brother move out, why do you want to hang with him?"
"Shut up, he didn't make his bro move out. That's just fuckin' rumors and because unlike some people I know, he's really nice."
"And you think he's hot," she says taunting.
"Shh... anyone can hear you," I tell her in a harsh whisper.
"That's nice, but admit it you do, you wouldn't have stuck up for him if you didn't."
"Whatever," I mumble as we enter the house. "Mom, I'm home."
"Phil! Where were you? We were suppose to have a mom-to-son talk this afternoon!"
"Sorry mom, I went over to a friends house."
"I called Chuck, they said you weren't there."
"No I was at Dil's house, the neighbor," I tell her and her face lights up.
"That's great! I knew you two would become fast friends!" she says a weird smile on her face.
'I wonder what she knows, and I don't.'
"Mom what's for dinner?" Lil asks.
"Get your own night," she says. "Your father and I have cooked every night for the last week, we deserve a break."
"Yeah alright," we say together.
'What to eat, what to eat?' I chant in my head as I search for some food. I decided on a frozen pizza. "Want one?" I ask my sister.
"Yeah sure," she replies.
I grab two of them and put them on a pizza pan. Pre-heating the oven I sit on one of the chairs and wait for it to pre-heat. After about five minutes the little beeping thing goes off and I get off and pop the pizza into the oven.
The room is quiet and very boring. I stare up at the light cover and count the little dots on it. As soon as I get to the last few the oven beeps making me loose my place. Saying a few choice words under my breath I get up and retreive the food. I usually don't wait for it to cool down, and this time isn't different.
"Foods ready," I tell my sister as I enter the living room.
"You're crazy, eating it straight out of the oven."
"It's better when it's still really hot, plus its fun."
"Right," she says turing her attention back to the TV screen.
'Hot hot hot, ouch fuck!' I think as I eat my dinner. "Crap it's hot!"
"Well duh!"
"Did I say that aloud?" I ask. 'Hmm... interesting.'
"Loser," she mumbles getting up and getting her food.
I finsh the rest of dinner quickly and head back up to my room. Flopping down on my bed, I think the days events over in my head.
'There's a new hot kid in my class, he is in a very negative state of mind, and he's hot.'
Frowning slightly I fall into a deep sleep, I'm not sure what I dream of. But I know the next morning I'm awoke by an angry looking face. Once again I'm pushed off the bed, and the angry face mocks my style again. 'Hmm, maybe yesterday was just a dream. I sure as hell hope not though.'
I quickly get ready for another day at school, which is really rare for me. I eat breakfast and hurry out the door. A huge smile appears on my face as I see Dil standing at the bus stop. As I walk over to him, my two best friends join me. We all greet each other and fall into an easy conversation.
The rest of the week flies by, and Dil and I grow closer. It's really weird, cause he gives me these signs, like he likes me like I like him. I'm not sure though if that is what he means, but maybe one day I'll find out. One day soon.
Soon a month has passed, and I still haven't asked him about it. I've never been this scared to tell someone how I felt. I guess he's different, plus I've never really told a guy I liked them before.
"One day soon," I mumble to myself.
A few more months pass by and I have yet to tell him. We are so close now, I don't want to ruin it. I don't want to scare him away, I guess friendship is good enough. Actually I don't think that would be good enough, oh well. Maybe I'll tell him today, we are suppose to be hanging out.
Grinning slightly, I get up from my bed and head over to the shower. Just as I shut the door I hear a knock on the front door. Stepping out of the bathroom I head over to it. As I open it I see a familiar face.
'Dil,' I think. 'Wait what's up with the troubled look. Shit this can't be good.'
Grabbing his arm lightly I drag him into the house and up to my bedroom. I look over at him, and ask him what is wrong. Before I know it I'm hit with everything that has happened to him.
"And then Tommy called, and I miss him so much!" he says as he starts to sob.
'Shit, this isn't good.' I again grab him and hold him. He calms down almost instantly, which really surprises me.
He looks up at me and smiles, and as I look down at him and smile. We lock eyes and his face is coming closer to mine, as mine goes closer to his. He doesn't seem to notice and before I know it our lips meet in a small kiss. He pulls back quickly, and I let out a silent groan in protest.
"I'm sorry, I'm just going-I can't believe-I'm sorry," he keep saying as he attempted to get out of my room.
'Oh please tell me that it wasn't a mistake. I guess now is the time to tell him, before its too late.' I look over at him. "Look, don't be, you don't know how long I've wanted you to do that," I tell him.
I pull him into a warm embrace and slowly bring his face to mine, just incase he changes his mind. Our lips met again and I run my tongue over his lips, wanting to taste him. He parts his lips and we stand there, kissing like there's no tomorrow.
We break apart when air is needed, and he smiles widely at me. His face is flushed and it makes him look even hotter than before, I smile back at him. I can tell his thinking about something, and his smile widens.
"The one day I've been waiting for has finally come," I say to myself quietly.
"What was that?" he asks smiling.
"Nothing, nothing," I mumble. 'One day soon.'
fin.
A/N: This chapter took me weeks to write... I would have been done sooner, but my computer froze and I lost half the chapter so I had to re-write it. Anywho, I hope you liked it.
Review Thanks:
Spice Of Life (Too lazy to log in): Hehe the perks of being my soul sis! ::grin:: Anywho thanks for the review...
FREEGI: Hehe glad to hear you luv it! ::grin:: hope you luv this chapter just as much! Thanks for the review!
tomgreensbigtoe: It's good to be back! ::grin:: Hope you enjoyed this chapter... Thanks for the review!
Dani-poo: Wait Dani aren't you suppose to be Dani-boo? You stole my poo! LMAO that sounded so wrong! I hope you liked it! Thanks for the review! Diz says 'bark!'
A/N: Everyone who reviewed gets some ice cream! ::grin:: Well yeah I'ma go attempt to finish up WMoOC's next chapter... either that or attempt to learn how to play bass, in which I suck at! Peace...
CrazyLake42