Hey guys, Wensleydale here. With all the scenes I had to include last for either comedic effect or just because of me wanting to incorporate most of the class into the first chapter, I couldn't manage to put in the opening credits, so I'm posting them here. There will be a different opening theme every season starting from the ninth, so the seventeenth is no exception. I was thinking I'd parody or reference openings of other cartoons. This one is based on the Ducktales theme.
Oh, and just for the record, I'm dropping the production order. It's not so complicated, but I saw some people reviewed Bloody Kleptomania before reading The Other Fourth Grade and I'd like to ease the general confusion by Now TOFG is episode #2 and Bloody Kleptomania episode #3. For now, the chronological (plot-wise) order is the right one you're looking for.
Now I am worrying if there's really enough material to make BYE into a full seven-chapter episode, even with six plots intertwining. Each character's scenes are very short and their conflicts kinda-sorta easily solvable… Well, at least there'll be time for the characters to be characters and talk to each other. Some call it padding, I call it background character expansion. With this said, do you guys want this story to be seven chapters long, as the new schedule would suggest? Or should I release less content, but more relevant to the story?
Oh, and thank you all for your reviews. I sincerely wasn't expecting this much attention after my comeback. I'm sorry I haven't responded, but I decided I'd like to try doing it over here.
One of the common questions was about Stan Lee… Yeah, the name is intentional, but… you'll see what I do with it. Also, thanks for the advice on clothing, I screwed up, but what's done is done. I could probably use your excuse, John, since fifth grade is so super-special-awesome!
Coyote: You kinda misunderstood me. I was going to release the whole thing BEFORE the season premiere. However, now I haven't got a lot of time left and I like to have a little space between the updates, so I'm going to release it every five days or so. When we get to Season 9, I'm going to update weekly.
Of course they're happy! I mean, they're in fifth grade!
I was afraid you'd be pretty pissed about Bebe's reference. I'm glad I was wrong!
Was this buddy of yours also your guy, friend?
John: Yeah, Ama… I'm imagining Stan at the end of the chapter going like "Pony pandering? Seriously? Sooo low, dude."
That's kind of a given, since I'm the new you. I wish I had your ability to write the McCormicks.
Datgirl, Rhi Rhi, Guest, Floyd: Thank you all, I'm glad you liked it… Wait, someone prayed for me?
[The instrumental version to the Ducktales theme song starts playing while we see random scenes from South Park Aargh's previous episodes]
STAN:
Life is like a hurricane
Here in South Park.
CARTMAN:
Mary Sues with crazy names
It's a story arc!
KYLE:
We're being meta!
That makes us better,
CHORUS:
South Park! (Aah-aargh!)
KYLE:
Humble folks without temptation!
CHORUS:
South Park! (Aah-aargh!)
STAN:
People spouting howdy neighbor!
CHORUS:
South Park!
CARTMAN:
D-D-D-Danger! Watch behind you!
There's a slash fan out to find you!
What to do? Just click and read some
CHORUS:
Gen fics! (Aah-aargh!)
KENNY:
(I like girls with big fat titties!)
CHORUS:
South Park! (Aah-aargh!)
KENNY:
(I like girls with deep vaginas!)
CHORUS:
South Park! (Aah-aargh!)
KENNY:
(I have no new lines in this intro!)
CHORUS:
South Park! (Aah-aargh!)
[South Park Aargh – Episode 1717. Best Year Ever]
[The school hallway. We see Cartman and Butters walking down the corridor, almost passing Jimmy]
JIMMY: Hello, f-fellas. Why aren't you c-ca-cah… coming to class? The new p-peh… principal is going to give a speech in about t-ten minutes.
BUTTERS: Well, uh, Eric insisted we went somewhere, s-so…
JIMMY: W-well, you'd better be quick, b-because the it's about to start very much. [walks inside the gym]
BUTTERS: Uh, Eric, I was meanin' to ask… But what exactly are we doing?
CARTMAN: Look, Butters, it's quite simple! This is a new school year, right?
BUTTERS: Uh… right!
CARTMAN: So we'll have a bunch of new students, right?
BUTTERS: Right!
CARTMAN: So, it's our duty to take care of them!
BUTTERS: Uh… Eric, you mean we should kill them?
CARTMAN: …The fuck? No! Seriously, who the fuck gives you these ideas, asswipe?! I meant actually take care of them! This is basic manipulation! Now, follow me with this! First graders are dumb as shit. Kinda like you, Butters.
BUTTERS: Uh, that wasn't very nice-
CARTMAN: So, if we're friendly to them, they'll do anything we want! Now that I'm old enough, I can finally have mah own private army! This is gonna be sweet, Butters! So, what do you say?!
BUTTERS: W-well, Eric, that's all very swell an' all… But gee, first graders aren't gonna make us popular, are they? We should try to hang out with the cool kids!
CARTMAN: …The fuck do you mean?
BUTTERS: Well, uh, I heard there are some transfer students this year in the 5th grade… W-we should try to make friends with them!
CARTMAN: …Butters, why are you so fuckin' stupid? If you're a dork, you're always gonna be a dork, no matter who you hang out with! Instead of sucking up to some new kids, why don't you try to make something of yourself and become the cool kid, GOD-DAMNIT!?
BUTTERS: [offended] Well, maybe I am goin' to try and make something of myself, Eric! Maybe the new kids aren't gonna call me a stupid dork, and, uh, respect me!
CARTMAN: Oh, please, the idea that even one person is going to respect you sounds like a fuckin' fairy tale, asshole!
BUTTERS: Goshdarnit, I've had it with you, Eric! Every single time you put me through one of your schemes, I get nothin' but sufferin' and disrespect! Well, not anymore! I'm gonna go out and make some new friends! [walks away]
CARTMAN: Well, be that way, asshole! That's fine! THAT'S FINE! Let's see what you say when I get mah army and authoritah!
[Eric walks away in the other direction. After a second, the heads of Red and Annie appear from behind the door]
RED: See? I told you they were gonna split up!
ANNIE: Aww… That's a… [pause] …shame.
[We cut to a close-up of the cover of a notebook. It features a baseball player and is signed "K. Broflovski"]
STAN'S VOICE: Kyle! Kyle, I'm talking to you! KYLE!
[We see Kyle reading the notebook in the 5th grade classroom, Stan sitting right next to him]
KYLE: [flinches and raises his eyes] Huh?
STAN: Dude, why are you reading this stuff? Nobody's gonna care what Garrison taught us, because he didn't teach us jack.
KYLE: Duh, this isn't from Garrison's lessons. I had to make my own notes from the proper school curriculum.
STAN: Huh?
KYLE: Basically I found out through the Cotswolds about what 4th graders are supposed to learn and just went through it myself. Mark's still pissed at me for some reason, but fortunately he helped me with that.
STAN: [picks up the notebook and looks at it] You did this all on your own? While still adventuring with us, playing Warcraft and all that?
KYLE: [smirks] Hey, fourth grade lasted for quite some time, in case you haven't noticed.
STAN: [also smirks] I don't know whether to call you super-smart… or incredibly dumb.
KYLE: [punches him playfully] Dick.
STAN: But in all seriousness, dude… Why are you doing this now?
KYLE: Well, since we're gonna have a new teacher, I want to make sure I'll still be considered the best student in class. During the first few minutes we're gonna make an impression on them, so I wanted to make a good one. This way, they'll cut me some slack later this year. Besides, this is fifth grade. Somehow, I've got a feeling it's gonna change everything.
STAN: [rolls his eyes] Goddamnit, why is it that everyone thinks fifth grade is so special? Nothing interesting's gonna change!
FIONA: [walking by and approaching the two boys] Still nae convinced this is gonnae be a guid year, Stan? Well, A've got a surprise fer ye, something's gonnae change! …Ah decided tae quit stealin'!
STAN: [lowers his eyelids] Sure you did.
FIONA: Ah mean it! Ah decided frae now on, Aa'm gonna live me life as an honest lass!
KYLE: And how do you plan to accomplish that?
FIONA: Simple! Aa'm gonnae tak' over th' newspaper stand! A'm finally gonnae hae an earnest job!
STAN: [sighs] Look, Fiona, it's cool that you're trying to stop your addiction, but don't do it to prove me wrong. Your change, even if it is real, has nothing to do with the fact that we're in the fifth grade. I mean, last year there weren't any grand changes, nor two years ago. Why should this one be different?
FIONA: Really? Ah dornae remember any change... nae happenin'.
KYLE: You weren't with us back then! …And even if you were, this wouldn't make any nick of sense!
FIONA: Sae basically... Ye dorn't want me tae stop stealin'?
STAN: I don't care.
KYLE: I do! But what's that got to do with anything?
FIONA: Naethin', Ah just thooght Ah wouldnae hae yer blessin'.
KYLE: You… need our permission for working for a school newspaper?
FIONA: Ah just thooght ye lads woold think o' it as... Sue-like. Or stuff.
[There is a moment of silence. Stan raises an eyebrow]
STAN: Uh-huh. Perfect evidence that nothing's gonna change. Fione's gonna keep talking about Sues, Butters is gonna go on being a pussy, Kyle and Cartman are gonna keep arguing and what class we're in isn't gonna influence anything.
[Stan walks out of the classroom. Kyle and Fiona follow him with their eyes]
FIONA: Why duz he keep walkin' away when we're talkin' tae him?
[Kyle frowns at her and follows Stan in silence]
FIONA: [disappointedly] … Aww…
[The school hallway again. We see Kenny leaving the bathroom when he notices something that astonishes him. The camera revolves around his surprised face and we see him oogling some girls' cleavages]
KENNY: [to himself] (Holy shit… They developed even more than I expected!)
[While Kenny talks, the camera cuts to each of the mentioned girls and follows them for a second]
KENNY: [to himself] (Half an inch more… An inch… Oh, yeah… Inch and a quarter… Inch and a half… Oh, god, look, nearly two inches! This is just incredible! Woohoo!)
[We cut to two sixth grade girls whispering to each other while glancing at Kenny]
GIRL 1: Why is that kid talking to himself?
GIRL 2: I dunno… Maybe he had a psychotic episode. Just ignore him.
[Back to Kenny]
KENNY: (Just you wait, future D-cups! I will get my hands on you soon enough! It won't be long until you come to daddy!)
[There is a moment of silence. Kenny stops]
KENNY: Oh, God, can't hold it in any longer!
[Kenny runs off to the bathroom, stumbling upon Wendy and Bebe in the process]
WENDY: Ah, Kenny. I wanted to talk to you about-
KENNY: [interrupting her] (Not now! Need to jack off! Right now!)
[He slams the bathroom door in their faces. There is a moment of silence]
WENDY: …Charming.
BEBE: Don't worry. Everything's gonna change, you won't need HIS signature.
WENDY: [smiles] As long as people support me, I don't really care if they're perverts, Bebe. I need to secure my position.
[They see Stan walking out of the classroom]
BEBE: Oh, hey, Stan! Sign Wendy's petition, will you?
STAN: [points at the sheet of paper] What's this?
WENDY: I'm going to run again as a candidate for the Student Body Council President. I need to show the new principal I have the continuous support of the students.
STAN: Finally someone that doesn't blindly believe in change!
BEBE: How so?
STAN: Well, you know, like Wendy was the president last year.
BEBE: Yeah?
STAN: And she's running this year, too?
BEBE: …Oh. Maybe I shouldn't vote for you, after all… [Wendy glares at her]
STAN: Anyway, sure, I'll sign it. So, how's the new principal?
WENDY: Oh, I haven't met him yet, but I heard only good things about him from my mom.
STAN: Your mom knows the guy?
WENDY: Yeah, apparently, he taught her art at her old school. He moved on to being a principal in Middle Park and introduced some decent reforms there.
BRADLEY: [approaching the three kids] Is it true his name is Stan Lee?
WENDY: Yeah, that's right.
BRADLEY: Like former chief editor of Marvel Stan Lee?
WENDY: I don't think so, why?
BRADLEY: Oh. Well, that's disappointing. I've been pitching him my script for the Mintberry Crunch comic for a while now, but he never answered my mail… I wanted to ask him about it now… Oh, well. Shablagoo, everyone! [runs off]
STAN: [sighs] That guy never ceases to amaze me…
[Meanwhile, Kenny comes back from the bathroom, content]
KENNY: (What did you want from me? Oh, right.)
[Without a second thought, he grabs the petition, signs it and hands it back to Wendy. She sniffs it and expresses disgust]
WENDY: [trying to remain composed] …I'll get a clean copy.
Actually, while writing this chapter, I decided I prefer more content with less relevance. This way, my writing style isn't restricted and the conversations can feel natural, not forced. Well, at least that's how I see it, my opinion may be biased. However, I'm trying to gradually improve my storytelling ability, so I'd still like to see your opinions on how this chapter turned out.
Like Wendy, I'd like to thank you for your continued support. It's thanks to you guys that I can find energy to write my silly little stories about South Park and I hope you can continue reading it until the very last one.
Okay, but I need to stop writing this and go help my friend with the Ice Bucket Challenge, so until the next chapter, please read and review!
Cheers,
WDC