Chap. 2

Those damn green eyes could see right through her. She was certain of that. How the hell did he do that? She was the one that had gone through years of school to be able to do that.

"So Bobby tells me he's known you since you were what four? Five?"

"It's all in your notes. You tell me about myself and I'll just correct the parts that are untrue."

Vera knew from the get go that this kid would not be at all cooperative. Hunters rarely were when it came to emotions and such. They tended to bury whatever they were feeling and forget it existed. Dean Winchester had been doing that since he was in kindergarten.

"Fine. Sam tells me you work all the time and very rarely take time to relax."

"The job really doesn't allow for rest and relaxation. You know that."

"Bobby says you're really good with electronics."

"I know how to play with a TV remote if that's what he meant."

"John said you are one of the most observant people he's ever met."

"Kinda comes with the job. You're either ready for the hunt and anything that could happen or you die. I wasn't gonna let that happen to Sam."

"Dean tell me the best thing about yourself."

"My devilish good looks."

The twinkle in those all seeing eyes made her laugh. She wondered what Dean's personality would have been had he not been forced into this life. Already he was a force of nature, surely with a little encouragement and support the kid would have been out of this world. According to Bobby Dean Winchester was the most intelligent person he had ever met. Talking with Sam and John, she realized that Dean was stronger than either of them would ever be. Getting Dean to see that though would be something. His self-confidence was shot. Several factors converged to make that happen. She needed to explore each one individually first.

"So other than your stunning good looks, what else would you consider good about yourself?"

"Does any of this really matter?"

"It matters to me. So tell me five good things about yourself."

"You mean other than the stunning good looks?"

"Other than the stunning good looks."

"Well, I…um. Okay, Sam. He's intelligent and kind and he's a great hunter."

"I said five things about yourself."

"Sam is a part of me. I raised the kid."

Vera knew from talking with the other Winchesters and Bobby that that was true. Dean had been more of a parent to Sam than John had ever thought about being. Moreover, he had done an incredible job being just a kid himself.

"Okay, I'll give you that one. Four more."

"Dad. He was able to become the hunter he is because he had me to take care of Sam. I can't imagine the lives he's saved because he didn't have to worry about us."

"That it?"

"That's it. That's all I got."

Vera glanced at her notes to hide the sadness in her eyes. Not once had Dean mentioned anything about himself. Well, his stunning good looks aside. She gathered that for Dean his self worth was all wrapped up in Sam. He measured his value by how Sam turned out. If Sam was happy and safe, Dean was content.

"What do you want to talk about Dean?"

"Silence is a great thing sometimes. Talking is way overrated."

"Is that why you never said anything about being abused?"

The sharp intake of breath alerted her that maybe this topic was still an unwelcome conversation. She watched silently as Dean stood and bolted out the back door, only stopping to grab a beer from the fridge.

"Well, that went well!"

Bobby elbowed John as he caught sight of Dean guzzling the beer.

"Bobby I'm really not sure about the whole Vera thing. Maybe forgetting is better for him."

"So he can have nightmares about this for the rest of his life? So he can continue to think that sacrificing himself for you and Sam is okay? Here, it's almost freezing out here and he doesn't even have on his coat."

John took the offered jacket and made his way to Dean. Draping the jacket over his son's still thin shoulders, John sat beside him."

"Thanks. I left mine on the rack in the living room."

"Usually when you storm out a coat really isn't the first thing on your mind."

"I should find Sam."

"Sam's fine. He's in the library reading God only knows what. Why don't you tell me why you stormed out on Vera?"

"I just got tired of answering stupid questions. My life is my life. She doesn't need to know anything about it."

"She's just trying to help son."

"I don't need her help. I'm fine."

"Oh, clearly."

Dean didn't miss his father's sarcastic tone. That sarcasm was just one more thing he had inherited from the man.

"You never needed any help."

John snorted his laughter as he glanced at the now empty beer bottle in his son's hand. Drinking like a fish wasn't helping Dean at all.

"I was never in your situation, either."

"No, what you went through was worse. You lost your wife. I didn't lose anything."

"Just your innocence, your trust, and your faith in me to actually give a damn. But that's all just fine isn't it because you did it to protect Sam."

"You said take care of Sam. So I did. I really didn't think anything else mattered. Sam was safe."

"At what point did you decide that you no longer mattered, Son?"

A shiver was the only response he received. Standing and pulling Dean with him, John ushered them into the house and onto the couch. Grabbing a blanket, he wrapped the kid up like a Christmas present.

"This conversation is not over. I'm going to get coffee; it'll help warm you up. Do not move!"

"Yes sir."

The BLT and coffee hit the spot. Too bad the coffee didn't do its job. After finishing the lunch his eyes started to droop. Why was he always so tired? Maybe just a short nap would be alright.

John squirmed to reach the coffee on the table beside the couch. He didn't want to move too much. With Dean's head on his thigh, too much movement would wake the boy.

"Well isn't that just adorable."

"Bobby shut and hand me the damn coffee."

Bobby chuckled and lifted the mug to his friend.

"Thanks, Bobby. I didn't want to wake him."

"How long's it been since either of them fell asleep like that?"

"Sam did it until he was oh… eighteen or so. He would probably do it now if he thought about it."

Both laughed at the thought of Sam, the giant sprawled out on John asleep.

"Dean though, he hasn't done this since before the fire. I didn't realize that until he fell asleep. Bobby what have I done to my son?"