I do not know when he accepted it.
He began to let me onto his ship regardless of his marine bull shit.
I think he might be in love with me and I know I might feel the same.
I told my captain about it, this thing we have. He looked like he wanted to kill me and burst out laughing at the same time. I knew others had done it. Had stupid affairs with people they should not. My captain had looked horrified for a split second when I mentioned his name. I heard later that Smoker was the only one to catch any of our guys. Obviously, he was one of the few marines willing to face Whitebeard's wrath.
My Captain told me as long as I got my worth he would not put an end to it. I am pretty sure he did not mean the sex, but that is where my mind went. Of course, Smoker gives me information too. Sometimes I do not realize how important it is until I report it back.
This thing we have. It is more than just physical. Lives have been saved because of us. I know so. When I report a wayward ship or pirate's location I know he is going to arrest them because that is what he does arrest pirates, tosses them in cells and throws the keys into the ocean.
It seems so easy to trust him.
Not just with the scum of the world, but with my life. I know his men could take me down, they seem to be getting stronger each time I see them. This does not stop me from taking money from them. My luck is pretty amazing. I win a lot of well earned belli from them. There have been a few times when they leave me near broke, Smoker especially. We got him to play once. Thanks to my insistence. He just wanted some peace and quiet. He took all our pay checks in the time it took me to get one. We never asked him to play again. Allegedly once I was out of the picture, he gave his men their money back, but it was warning enough.
Every time I pull him into bed or just out for sex, my life is in his arms. I know my narcolepsy. I know I sleep like the dead after sex. I also know I wake up every time.
I love the kisses. I love setting him on fire. I love seeing his eyes burn with desire. I love when he touches me. Oh god when he finally looks to me. He looks through me. He touches everything. Foreplay is amazing. Sometimes, I find release then…more times than I would like to admit, pushed against his shower wall, his breath mixing with mine.
I want to stay with him. Regardless of how stupid it seems. I want to die beside him. He told me once that he wanted me to die first, so I would not have to feel the pain his death would bring. I almost cried (I just barely caught his blushing face). That is why I decided we should die together in some sick lover's suicide.
That's why it hurts to see him distracted or worried. He looks broken staring at that damned marine report, the pain visibly written across his face. I know Tashigi sees it too. His words cut into me when he finally says something to me.
"You should get out of here." He tells me. I am frozen in place. Not by the words themselves, but by his eyes. He truly wants me gone, off his ship. He needs me to not be here. He does not acknowledge me though no like he should, instead he stands up heading towards his cabin. That is where I wanted to go, but he does not want me there.
"What…why? Hey where are you going?" I call out completely confused. Tashigi is twitching beside me, worry written across her face as well. The doors slam shut. He is gone.
"Ace…" Tashigi's voice draws my eyes. She looks so scared. She really is his daughter. It does not matter about the biology or genetics, she is his. Just like I am…
"I don't…" The other words will not come. I know this man better than anyone else. Not because were fucking, but because we talk. I do not remember when that started either. Probably my fault, but he tells me things, vague things. So admitting I do not know what is going on would be a loss.
"He's never…" So many things could fill in Tashigi's blank. Probably all of them do. He has never done this before, acted like this, kept me out, told you to go. We are both in the dark. The door slams back open and out steps my lover. He smirks at us. He knows we are in the dark and I want to curse at him for it. I thought we were closer than this. I thought…I thought…
He has a needle in one hand and some type of orb in the other. This does not make any sense is he going to knock me out? No the needle is not for me. He puts the needle in his mouth like one of his cigars the metal tip sticks out shinnying in the light. Shrugging off the coat, he never lets the orbs leave his ungloved hands. He looks to us, he wants to say something, but he is too jaded.
"Make sure those bastards do not take any of my stuff." He says it as if it makes sense. As if it is the Holy Grail to solve all of his strange behavior. But, he is not talking to me. He is talking to her, the childlike keeper of his justice.
"Get out of here…" Crap, I will feel that tomorrow. I defiantly pulled a muscle. It was worth it, to see his eyes. He was looking right at me, straight through me. The needle was out of his mouth in and instant and sinking into his shoulder. I do not know why, but I know I lost.
Tashigi gasps and stumbles back. I just stare as my lover transforms into smoke. Too much smoke. I panic. It keeps coming, I have to back up. He moves away from us. This is not his normal smoke. His smoke usually calls my fire, but instead it ran. Hid inside me, the normal flames ran finding the deepest darkest hole to make its normal warmth invisible to him.
I looked up. There in the sky above his ship, he sits, not as my lover, not as Smoker, but as a giant dragon. It is so unreal to see him like that. His size alone quells my normal flame for him. His actual form makes me feel...
Tashigi falls on the deck beside me. Smoker's men are sounding the alarms. I do not really hear them though. I am watching him. My fire begins to burn within me again. Not because I wish to fight him, but because he could beat me. We had been even so long. A perfect match, to have him win, turned me on. I admit it is a little disturbing, but seeing him take off into the clouds was kind of majestic.
"I guess I should get out of here." That was my voice. I had come here for company and sex. Since both options were shot. I had no reason to say.
"I have to make sure they do not take his things." Tashigi replies. We are in the same state. Our bodies moving on their own, getting us to do something besides stare at the spot where he had passed into the clouds. I help her to her feet. She nods I move past her towards my skiff.
"Stay on course." I do not know what possessed me to say that. I had never given a command to anyone under Smoker. Tashigi turns and nods, I jump off the boat. I will wait a day in front of the ship. I will scope out their path. I will stay close because Smoker needs a ship to return to. I need to see him when he does.