The frequency at which he dreamt of losing his lover had not evaded Reid's mind. Not even once. What was lost on him, however, was the intensity of it all. That the vividness of a nightmare could have that effect on the human brain was not empty to either agents…but what was most frightening of all was not the nightmare itself but the fact that it could become very real considering their jobs.
Reid had often closed his eyes with the intent of falling asleep, eyelashes fluttering like the softest of butterfly wings, with his hand cradled in Hotch's. No words were spoken between the two and yet invisible prayers of thanks rose out of both their slightly parted lips.
Prayers of thanks that they had both come home safely. That at the end of the day they both laid their heads to rest together, bodies flushed snug against one another and hearts beating in complete unison.
Time would seem to move at half the pace it normally would, for this was their sacred sanctuary – their time to enjoy the love and passion and utter beauty of their relationship.
And sometimes that utter beauty was forgotten amidst the whirling chaos of work.
So when Reid felt his lover stir violently in his sleep, his eyes opened to the reality that it was his job to put Hotch at ease and to remind him that their dreams would not become any more real than how their love would fade.
He rolled over, blinking in the dim lighting of his apartment. Hotch's eyes were tightly shut, his hands clutching the bed sheets while his knuckles progressed from a faint red to white hot. Tears exploded from beneath his eyelashes as he sobbed uncontrollably into the mattress, incomprehensible murmurs of not letting go filling the previously silent room.
"Aaron," Reid whispered, knowing not to jolt the man awake from his dreams.
Pain spread throughout his chest as he suffered through watching his lover thrash against his body, completely lost to the darkness.
He placed a cool hand on the back of Hotch's neck and let his fingertips rub at the base of his head before applying a cool stream of breath to where he had touched. Hotch's body felt like it was on fire, sweaty and damp.
"Stop, please stop." Hotch begged, calming ever so slightly under Reid's breath.
"Aaron," Reid said gently again, pulling softly at the furious limbs beside him. He tried to gather the man in his arms, let him know he was safe, coaxing the fisted sheets out from his hands.
Yet this only resulted in Hotch letting out a rasping cry of help, as though something was being taken from him and Reid knew it was him that was being torn from his grasp.
"Aaron," Reid soothed, holding Hotch close to his chest and cradling his head under his chin like a newborn baby. "Shhhhh," he ghosted his lips over Hotch's neck, trying to bring the temperature of his body down a few degrees.
He was leaning against the headboard of the bed and his right knee gave a small tinge of pain at the awkward angle but Reid ignored it, favoring the pain of his own body over his lover's psychological war.
Hotch's body gave a jolt of awareness and his dark eyes seared into Reid's own hazel ones, not really seeing anything. They were cloudy with confusion as though he were not completely awake or sure of what was happening to him.
What was reality and what was a nightmare.
Weren't they the same thing? Reid wondered idly.
"Aaron. It was a dream, Aaron. I've got you," he continued to kiss over Hotch's face, catching the falling tears and droplets of sweat.
He felt Hotch's body relinquish its fighting power and go heavy against his chest, still rising and falling as he struggled to catch his breath.
"Spencer?" He called weakly, as his hands wandered over Reid's body, mapping out the defined cheekbones and collarbone and the silky, naked skin.
"I'm here. I'm right here, Aaron." Reid stroked a hand over Hotch's hair, squeezing his eyes shut in pain. It was a knife to the heart to know the utter devastation his lover was caught up in.
Hotch's eyes were still open, searching desperately for any sense of recognition and blind the reality.
"I've got you."
Always will, my darling.
"Blink for me, sweetheart," Reid coaxed, smoothing his slightly calloused thumb under Hotch's eyes to wipe away the rest of the tears.
"Spencer?" The Unit Chief – the strong and passionately determined and loving man Reid could call all his – blinked, his voice so small and meek that it almost caused Reid's heart to shatter right there in bed.
"I'm here, sweetheart. You were dreaming."
Hotch's body gave a huge shudder, the notion that he was in fact safe, that the murder in his mind had been only a dream finally dawning on him.
He collapsed against Reid's arms, holding tight.
Neither man spoke. They never did and they probably never would.
Their feelings and their thoughts were left in the air, understood by both that these kerosene dreams had become a norm at night and over the years had diminished significantly in numbers as their love for each other grew.
"I'm right here," Reid repeated after what seemed like years of suppressing silence.
"I know," Hotch replied softly.
Neither knew if it was unconscious or whether they both were aware of what the other needed but both agents turned their heads to let their lips meet in a gentle and needy kiss.
Reid caressed the ridges of Hotch's cheekbones, while another hand slipped into his hair to subconsciously stroke away the distant and dark memories.
"I've got you," The young agent whispered between kisses, feeling the effects of the reassurance in Hotch's growing intensity.
"I need you."
"I'm not going anywhere, Aaron"
"Me neither."
Reid felt himself being pushed gently against the sheets and he purred in pleasure as Hotch's lips left his and trailed over his neck and chest, tongue lapping over his tingling skin.
"Are you-" Reid whimpered, even though he knew the answer.
"I need this."
And he did, Reid recognized this. They both did.
It had become almost a pattern after waking from a particularly painful dream that their lovemaking was the calmer.
Hotch leaned back up after making trails over Reid's ribs to capture his mouth in a searing kiss, his partner's moans swallowed by the tongue that seeks attention at the seam of his lips.
He felt Reid smile against his kiss, the trauma of earlier forgotten as both men found themselves lost in passion and lust. He ran a hand down his lover's torso, admiring the taut and lean muscle that begged to be kissed and explored until he reached the beginning of Reid's pajama pants.
Reid's eyes opened, meeting Hotch's intense gaze before he shifted his hips upward and let his pants be swept off his legs. His skin tingled as the cool hair enveloped his body, mixing and toiling with Hotch's balmy warmth. He felt Hotch softly stroking his shoulders and kissing the bruises and scars he had developed from past cases and could hear his lover telling him he would keep him safe.
Always safe.
Always mine.
Reid stretched his neck to the side, knowing that it was Hotch's favorite place to attend to and that the man needed to feel in complete control. Hotch bent his head to nuzzle the warm skin, letting his tongue stroke at the steady pulse in his throat and Reid let out a gentle moan of appreciation.
"I love you," the words fell from breathy sighs and both men's eyes met, unsure of who said it.
"I love you," Hotch repeated, his hands trailing up the sides of Reid's hips to wrap around his waist and pull him close. The young agent arched into the touch, needing to feel the connection of hips against hips and naked skin against naked skin.
"I love you, Aaron." He whispered earnestly, his sounds almost swallowed by the humming of Hotch's lips around his earlobe.
"Tell me what you want, Spencer Reid," the Unit Chief ordered hotly, before mouthing at Reid's open lips and thrusting his tongue in hotly in a welcomed attack.
Reid moaned into the kiss, bucking his hips upwards and the agents broke apart to look at each other, silent.
"You, Aaron. All of you." Reid spoke softly.
The nightmare needed to be forgotten…their passion needed to flare up.
Hotch nodded, his eyes darkening with hazy lust and he instantly began to trail kisses down Reid's neck and chest, pausing momentarily to apply soft ministrations to his partner's navel and hips, admiring the way they glistened with sweat over creamy skin. So sinfully tempting that a primal heat ignited deep within his abdomen and thighs.
Reid sighed in pleasure, fingering the silky dark strands of Hotch's hair that lay across his stomach as his lover mapped the details of his inner thighs with his lips. He felt the man nibble at the juncture between his groin and upper left thigh and moaned loudly, needing to feel more.
He needed to feel alive with the fire that was building within Aaron Hotchner.
And suddenly his thoughts disappeared completely as he felt an inviting heat envelope his warm member, a hot tongue swirling over the tip and caressing the stretched skin.
"Oh God, Aaron!" He cried, his hips flying upwards on their own accord into Hotch's awaiting mouth. His mind was mercifully blank and free of any thoughts and he concentrated on the wet trail his lover was leaving over his straining erection.
Hotch hollowed his cheeks as he took Reid deeper, encouraged by the mewling and whimpers of moremoremoremore, as he continued to suck meticulously. As he glanced up he saw Reid's head thrown back in ecstasy, his body propped up on his elbows, his hair trailing over the white of the pillow.
"What else do you want?" Hotch growled, releasing Reid with a soft pop. He lapped gently at the glistening head.
"Y-you, Aaron. I want you to take me." Reid's words came out shaky as though he couldn't comprehend putting a sentence together.
Hotch moved over his lover, resisting the strong urge to thoroughly pound him into the bed until he was reduced to nothing more than sobs of pleasure and moans of his name. His lips met Reid's and felt the young agent's tongue slid into his mouth and sharp nails rake over his back in a demand for more. He felt his arousal slide over Reid's through the light material of his boxers and, while still sucking on Reid's tongue, lifted his hips to shake them off.
Reid smirked as he ground his hips into Hotch's as the older agent made a weak lean to the right to slap around for the lube on the nightstand. Hotch's eyes were completely shut, reveling in the intense heat of both their erections rubbing together.
The pop of a cap was the only sound heard in the quiet breathing of the room and cool liquid splashed between them and Hotch almost lost it right there as they become totally tangled together, Reid's long legs spread.
Hotch coated his fingers before rubbing a thumb over Reid's entrance, causing the young man to cry out and thrust downwards as though he were trying to immediately impale himself on Hotch's fingers.
"Breathe," Hotch whispered, before sliding a finger in, feeling the tight heat of contracting muscles. He met Reid's lips in a sloppy kiss as his finger continued to curl and thrust in and out, eventually garnering speed.
"More, Aaron," Reid choked out, lost to the sensations.
Hotch slid in a second finger, followed rapidly by a third, curling them upwards and brushing over that sensitive knot of nerves. He felt the tight muscles tighten instantly and Reid gasped, arching his slim figure and pushing back at Hotch's fingers.
"Spencer?" It was a question both knew the answer too and Reid whimpered at the loss of Hotch's retracting fingers.
He watched as the Unit Chief nestled between his spread legs, his eyes huge and dark, filled with every intense feeling it seemed, before he sank in easily, their hips meeting.
"Hard, Aaron." Reid ground out. Time seemed to be suspended in air and he longed to feel Hotch's body thrusting against his own, fucking him into oblivion in the hopes that they could both forget what had woken them up in the first place at 2:34 am.
And suddenly he got what he wanted.
Hotch drove deep into him, his own long legs draped over the agent's shoulders, for what seemed like hours, maybe only minutes.
Reid arched his back and let his lithe legs wrap around Hotch's waist, shifting to change the angle to something immensely pleasurable.
"Yessss," Reid's words were drawn out by an interrupted moan, and Hotch seemed to shift into hyper-drive, brushing again and again against his prostate. Their fast and furious pace had their lips connecting in sloppy, passion-filled kisses and hips colliding in bruising slams.
Hotch let his hand glide up between their slick bodies to grasp at Reid's strained arousal, stroking it roughly before Reid's head was thrown back once more and he came with a hot scream.
He felt the searing and pearly-white liquid explode between them, rising to almost extraordinary heights over their chests and yet he felt he couldn't stop his primal pace, thrusting his hips again and again and again against Reid's until, finally…mercifully, he came hard and fast.
There was an immediate silence throughout the bedroom.
"Aaron?" Reid's soft voice came through, and Hotch opened his eyes, momentarily discombobulated. He was stretched over his lover, a dull heavy weight, spent beyond his strength.
He looked up into fiery amber eyes, tender as they gazed at him, reminding him of the dream that had almost blown his heart to pieces. Reid was breathing heavily beneath him, smiling smugly.
"This wasn't a dream, was it?" He whispered, panting against Reid's chest.
Reid shook his head, stroking a hand over Hotch's hair. "No, it definitely wasn't, Aaron."
And while their dreams continued to burn bright within their chaotic minds, both men knew they were anchored in their love.
While their passion would ignite both imaginatively and physically, their kerosene dreams could be doused and dimmed in simmering kisses and shimmering stars.
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