Stephanie's POV
He's gone. Ranger left last night. Morelli interrupted his visit. I watched Ranger from the window until Joe came in. I came out into the living room as he was locking my door.
"Hey, Cupcake."
"Joe what are you doing here?" I asked, still rubbing sleep out of my eyes.
"I just got off and didn't feel like going home to an empty house," he replied, taking off his jacket and shoes.
"What about Bob?"
"I'll get him tomorrow and take him to the park. He'll be fine."
Yea until he realizes no one's there to feed him at 6AM and he eats the couch.
I nodded and smiled and headed back into my room. I could still faintly smell the Bulgari. Joe followed me in. If he smelled it too, he didn't say anything. I was glad he didn't try to have sex with me. He just crawled in beside me and put his arms around me.
Head under water
And they tell me to breathe easy for a while
The breathing gets harder, even I know that
You made room for me, but it's too soon to see
If I'm happy in your hands
I'm unusually hard to hold on to
Blank stares at blank pages
No easy way to say this
You mean well, but you make this hard on me
I woke up in Joe's arms. He was awake and watching me. He kissed me hard and I thought he was going to give me one of his famous orgasms, but instead he looked into my eyes and asked, "Was Ranger here last night?"
"What?" I asked, confused.
"Ranger. Was he here?"
"Why do you ask?"
"I saw a black SUV in the lot when I pulled in."
"And you're asking me now why?" I asked, pulling away, out of his embrace.
"I didn't want to start anything last night while we were both tired," he replied and I could see his eyes narrow as he was starting to get frustrated.
"Yes, he was," I replied, refusing to be drawn into an argument.
"What was he doing here that late?" Joe demanded.
I looked down and tried not to show my disappointment, "Saying goodbye."
"He's leaving?" Joe brightened.
"In the wind," I replied with a sigh.
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you asked for it
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or breaking this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leaving
Imma need a better reason to write you a love song today
Today
I got up and showered and Joe went home to Bob. As the hot water rained down on me, I thought about Joe and what we had. I cared. I cared a lot about him. I probably loved him, but I was for sure not IN love with him. He'd always been the guy girls want. I was one of those girls. I don't know when it all changed. I was playing with thoughts of marriage, but just couldn't resign myself to be a Burg housewife, which is what I know he'd want from me. I need more. I want to fly. I wonder if he'll ever just let me be me… No, he'd never be content with that.
I learned the hard way
That they all say things you want to hear
My heavy heart sinks deep down under you
And your twisted words, your help just hurts
You are not what I thought you were
Hello to high and dry
Convinced me to please you
Made me think that I need this too
I'm trying to let you hear me as I am
I made the mistake of going to my parents' house. I wanted to mooch food, but it came at a cost. Mom heard me talking to Grandma Mazur about Ranger leaving and she jumped in with the pleas to marry Joe.
"Stephanie, you're not getting any younger. Joe is a good man. You two have been dating forever, people are starting to wonder when you will get engaged."
Yea right. People were wondering if Ranger and I were ever going to make a move on each other.
"Stephanie," my mom continued, "Joe isn't going to wait forever. He wants to be with you, it's obvious. Look how patient he's been."
I sighed and looked at Grandma, who of course had to pipe in, "He's got one heck of a package, but I'd still like to get my hands on that man in black," she winked at me. I grinned and started laughing. Ranger and his Merry Men avoided Grandma like the plague for that very reason.
"Stephanie," Mom persisted, "Think long and hard before you run off and do something you'll regret. Joe will not always be there."
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you asked for it
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or breaking this
If you're on your way,
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leaving
Imma need a better reason to write you a love song today
I left my mom and grandma and went to the bond office. Connie was doing her nails and Lula was nowhere to be seen.
"Where's Lula?" I asked.
"Lunch date with Tankie," Connie said with an eye roll.
I flopped down on the couch, "Ranger's in the wind."
"Yea, he left a message for me. How are you holding up?"
"I'm fine," I lied.
She raised an eyebrow at me, "Right."
"Well, I'm concerned for his safety, as always, but he's off to save the world. Besides, why should I miss him? He's not going to be thinking about me, but that can't really be remedied since he's probably going to be in a third world jungle, defending his life…."
I glanced at Connie who was staring at me, "What?" I asked.
She just laughed and shook her head. She was right. I was kidding myself. I wanted him to come back. I wanted to know he was safe in his office. I wanted to know he was here for me.
I gathered up my files from Connie and headed home to do some phone research. That was a lost cause. I instead sat at my table and stared off into space. I had two perfectly good men; did I really want either of them? Yes, yes I did….the one I couldn't have; the one who wouldn't give me a chance. All I wanted was a glimmer of hope. I'd leave Joe and give it a shot with Ranger.
Promise me you'll leave the light on
To help me see with daylight, my guide, gone
'Cause I believe there's a way you can love me because I say
If he wanted me, he could have me. I'd wait. There was too much there for us to ignore. When he came back, I'd tell him. I'd tell him I'd wait. I could do this. I could be brave and express myself. He'd let me fly.
I won't write you a love song
'Cause you asked for it
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or breaking this
Is that why you wanted a love song
'Cause you asked for it?
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or breaking this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If your heart is nowhere in it
I don't want it for a minute
Babe, I'll walk the seven seas when I believe that there's a reason to
Write you a love song today
Today
Love Song- Sara Bareilles