DISCLAIMER… I do not own Rurouni Kenshin.
This is going to be my first serious fic. In the past, my fics have had humor, but this one is going to be truly angst and truly serious.
Chapter One
Upon Waking. (POV OF MISAO)
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Misao opened her eyes slowly and then shut them back tightly again as the bright sun streamed in through her window. She slowly opened them again and stared at the ray of sunshine that came through her window to rest on the floorboard some feet away from her futon. She watched with dull fascination as the light of the sun revealed the little bits of dust and lint that were in the room. They seemed to be dancing in the sun light, perhaps overjoyed that someone had finally noticed them-paid attention to them.
When would she be noticed? When would the special someone in her life pay her attention? She closed her eyes as her vision began to blur and swallowed hard-forcing the tears away and the sobs back down her throat to the pit of her stomach.
She immediately got up, placed her futon away and went to take a bath. It was very early in the morning and the sun had not even risen as of yet, so the others were still asleep.
He was still asleep.
Once she had taken her bath she reentered her room and proceeded to dress. She had long since stopped wearing her ninja outfit-that she had outgrown-and had started wearing kimonos when she worked inside the restaurant and basic black ninja pants with black shirt when she was practicing.
She placed on her Kimono and proceeded to the kitchen where she started preparing morning tea. In a little while everyone would be waking up and she wanted to make sure that tea was prepared. More than two years ago she had been the one that grandpa and the others had to wake up, but now…
Every since Aoshi had come back to them, she had not been able to sleep. Her rest was always broken and she found herself always waking up in the middle of the night crying. She could not go on this way. She had to think of something. She had made it up in her mind the night before that today she would confront him and tell him how she truly felt. She would lay everything on the line and pray for the best. She would tell Aoshi that she loved him.
*********** *************** ****************
Aoshi had already gone to the temple for training and Misao had missed the chance to tell him that she had something that she wished to speak to him about. She had been waiting on a table and when she came back into the kitchen, Omasu had told her that Aoshi had gone to temple. Misao would have to wait until lunch time when she always took him his tea and food for her chance to speak with him.
It seemed like hours upon hours but lunch time had finally come and now Misao was standing in front of the stairs to the temple where Aoshi went to meditate each day. She stared up at the long stairs that would lead to either her happiness or her sadness. She took a deep calming breath and walked up the stairs to the temple entrance. She entered the temple to find Aoshi where he always was-sitting on the floor with his legs tucked under him and his hands resting on his thighs with his eyes closed.
She could just stare at him forever. He was so handsome. How could a man be so beautiful that every time she saw him it seemed as if she were seeing him for the first time? She waited in the doorway, staring at him. She knew that he knew that she was there. She stopped her admiring session and walked towards him. She sat the tray down in front of him and kneeled before him in a sitting position as well. She took the cloth off of the tray and began to pour them both tea-like she always did. Their conversations were never really long. They talked about every thing except what she wanted to discuss with him most.
She continued to stare at him in fascination as his eyes remained closed. Then suddenly, his eyes opened and pinned her. She could not break away as he returned her stare. He always did that. She did not know if he did it intentionally to intimidate her or what. What ever the reason she always was the one to look away but she could not stare at his eyes that long without thinking that she was revealing something, but not today. She would not break his stare. Today she would make *him* break. Her heart rate speed up and it sounded so loud in her ears that she was sure that he could hear it.
They continued to stare at one another for what seemed like eons.
"Misao, is there something that you wish to speak to me about?" Aoshi asked never breaking his hold on Misao.
Misao's eyes widened in shock but she quickly regained her composure. How did he know that she wished to speak to him?
"Yes, Aoshi-sama," she stated trying to sound strong willed. She would not back down today.
He waited for her to finish as he continued to stare into her dark blue eyes as she stared into his.
"Aoshi," she said, dropping the honorific from his name.
"Ever since I was a little girl, I have always looked up to you. At first, it was just admiration and then it turned into something much deeper. I am sure that you know that I have had these feelings for you for quite a while. Everyone knows how I feel about you, but I realize that I have not told you personally."
Misao swallowed and took another deep breath trying to settle her nerves.
"Aoshi, I… I love you," there, I've said it she thought silently to herself.
"Aoshi Shinomori, I Misao Makamachi am in love with you," she smiled and took in a deep breath. It felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders and her chest. She felt light headed and giddy.
She stared at Aoshi waiting for him to reply. He then looked away and stared at the tray that was before them.
He broke her stare. Was this good? She had won, right?
They stayed that way in silence until she could not bare the silence anymore.
"Well?" she asked. She could not see his eyes because his bangs covered them.
"Misao, I am sorry, but…"
Uh Oh. Sorry and a but in one sentence did not mean good. Misao waited holding her breath.
"There can never be anything between us as you have hoped. I had hoped that you would move on and find a young man worthy of you. Okina has told me that there have been many suitors that have asked for your hand, but you have turned them all down. I want you to consider courting one of them."
Misao felt her heart shatter as if the monk Anji himself had used his attack on it and demolished it to nothing.
Tears threatened to blur her vision and pain tore through her very soul. She was being rejected.
Aoshi looked up at her with a look of remorse in his eyes. "Misao, I want you to forget about me. Forget about there ever being anything between us. I want you to live your life Misao."
"How can I live my life without you?" she cried. "Aoshi, I know that you think of me as a child still, but I am not. I am a grown woman who knows how she feels and I tell you that there can never be another for me. NEVER!"
Aoshi sighed heavily. "Misao, I do not share the same feelings that you have about me. I am sorry."
Misao felt sobs starting to rack her body so she quickly got up and ran out of the temple. She ran down the stairs crying all the way and then through the forest. She tripped over a boulder into the soft lush grass. She remained there and let the sobs rack her body. Her whole world had vanished. Aoshi-sama did not love her. He did not love her. She cried herself to sleep trying to find peace within her dreams.
**************************
Depressing ne? I told you that it would be sad and serious minded.
Shady ?
This is going to be my first serious fic. In the past, my fics have had humor, but this one is going to be truly angst and truly serious.
Chapter One
Upon Waking. (POV OF MISAO)
/
/
/
/
/
/
/
/
Misao opened her eyes slowly and then shut them back tightly again as the bright sun streamed in through her window. She slowly opened them again and stared at the ray of sunshine that came through her window to rest on the floorboard some feet away from her futon. She watched with dull fascination as the light of the sun revealed the little bits of dust and lint that were in the room. They seemed to be dancing in the sun light, perhaps overjoyed that someone had finally noticed them-paid attention to them.
When would she be noticed? When would the special someone in her life pay her attention? She closed her eyes as her vision began to blur and swallowed hard-forcing the tears away and the sobs back down her throat to the pit of her stomach.
She immediately got up, placed her futon away and went to take a bath. It was very early in the morning and the sun had not even risen as of yet, so the others were still asleep.
He was still asleep.
Once she had taken her bath she reentered her room and proceeded to dress. She had long since stopped wearing her ninja outfit-that she had outgrown-and had started wearing kimonos when she worked inside the restaurant and basic black ninja pants with black shirt when she was practicing.
She placed on her Kimono and proceeded to the kitchen where she started preparing morning tea. In a little while everyone would be waking up and she wanted to make sure that tea was prepared. More than two years ago she had been the one that grandpa and the others had to wake up, but now…
Every since Aoshi had come back to them, she had not been able to sleep. Her rest was always broken and she found herself always waking up in the middle of the night crying. She could not go on this way. She had to think of something. She had made it up in her mind the night before that today she would confront him and tell him how she truly felt. She would lay everything on the line and pray for the best. She would tell Aoshi that she loved him.
*********** *************** ****************
Aoshi had already gone to the temple for training and Misao had missed the chance to tell him that she had something that she wished to speak to him about. She had been waiting on a table and when she came back into the kitchen, Omasu had told her that Aoshi had gone to temple. Misao would have to wait until lunch time when she always took him his tea and food for her chance to speak with him.
It seemed like hours upon hours but lunch time had finally come and now Misao was standing in front of the stairs to the temple where Aoshi went to meditate each day. She stared up at the long stairs that would lead to either her happiness or her sadness. She took a deep calming breath and walked up the stairs to the temple entrance. She entered the temple to find Aoshi where he always was-sitting on the floor with his legs tucked under him and his hands resting on his thighs with his eyes closed.
She could just stare at him forever. He was so handsome. How could a man be so beautiful that every time she saw him it seemed as if she were seeing him for the first time? She waited in the doorway, staring at him. She knew that he knew that she was there. She stopped her admiring session and walked towards him. She sat the tray down in front of him and kneeled before him in a sitting position as well. She took the cloth off of the tray and began to pour them both tea-like she always did. Their conversations were never really long. They talked about every thing except what she wanted to discuss with him most.
She continued to stare at him in fascination as his eyes remained closed. Then suddenly, his eyes opened and pinned her. She could not break away as he returned her stare. He always did that. She did not know if he did it intentionally to intimidate her or what. What ever the reason she always was the one to look away but she could not stare at his eyes that long without thinking that she was revealing something, but not today. She would not break his stare. Today she would make *him* break. Her heart rate speed up and it sounded so loud in her ears that she was sure that he could hear it.
They continued to stare at one another for what seemed like eons.
"Misao, is there something that you wish to speak to me about?" Aoshi asked never breaking his hold on Misao.
Misao's eyes widened in shock but she quickly regained her composure. How did he know that she wished to speak to him?
"Yes, Aoshi-sama," she stated trying to sound strong willed. She would not back down today.
He waited for her to finish as he continued to stare into her dark blue eyes as she stared into his.
"Aoshi," she said, dropping the honorific from his name.
"Ever since I was a little girl, I have always looked up to you. At first, it was just admiration and then it turned into something much deeper. I am sure that you know that I have had these feelings for you for quite a while. Everyone knows how I feel about you, but I realize that I have not told you personally."
Misao swallowed and took another deep breath trying to settle her nerves.
"Aoshi, I… I love you," there, I've said it she thought silently to herself.
"Aoshi Shinomori, I Misao Makamachi am in love with you," she smiled and took in a deep breath. It felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders and her chest. She felt light headed and giddy.
She stared at Aoshi waiting for him to reply. He then looked away and stared at the tray that was before them.
He broke her stare. Was this good? She had won, right?
They stayed that way in silence until she could not bare the silence anymore.
"Well?" she asked. She could not see his eyes because his bangs covered them.
"Misao, I am sorry, but…"
Uh Oh. Sorry and a but in one sentence did not mean good. Misao waited holding her breath.
"There can never be anything between us as you have hoped. I had hoped that you would move on and find a young man worthy of you. Okina has told me that there have been many suitors that have asked for your hand, but you have turned them all down. I want you to consider courting one of them."
Misao felt her heart shatter as if the monk Anji himself had used his attack on it and demolished it to nothing.
Tears threatened to blur her vision and pain tore through her very soul. She was being rejected.
Aoshi looked up at her with a look of remorse in his eyes. "Misao, I want you to forget about me. Forget about there ever being anything between us. I want you to live your life Misao."
"How can I live my life without you?" she cried. "Aoshi, I know that you think of me as a child still, but I am not. I am a grown woman who knows how she feels and I tell you that there can never be another for me. NEVER!"
Aoshi sighed heavily. "Misao, I do not share the same feelings that you have about me. I am sorry."
Misao felt sobs starting to rack her body so she quickly got up and ran out of the temple. She ran down the stairs crying all the way and then through the forest. She tripped over a boulder into the soft lush grass. She remained there and let the sobs rack her body. Her whole world had vanished. Aoshi-sama did not love her. He did not love her. She cried herself to sleep trying to find peace within her dreams.
**************************
Depressing ne? I told you that it would be sad and serious minded.
Shady ?